And therefore Mr. Bond, if you get an erection, both of your hearts will explode. Mwa HA HA!
the way to a man's heart....is through a woman, and then a wall and apparently his penis. but we all knew that
Tired of hearing "smell ya later" from every girl he met, Jon decided no, he would smell you right now.
Most of God's early design ideas for sexual reproduction never left the drawing board.
In case of accidental air mask deployment take off clothes and remove reproductive organs
Matchmaker, matchmaker, knit me a match, tie up our ventricles, let me access her snatch
I dont know what that' about, but If its connect to my penis and her vagina, Im all for it!
apparently a diagram showing how household walls are made... disturbing indeed...
No matter how much Wendy tried to connect, Tim would always put up a wall between them.
Apparently, the purpose of Dr. Schraeber's work was to see how long he could maintain grant money while being fucking insane.
The new, if slightly confusing, improvement over the original pictogram we sent out aboard the Voyager spacecraft.
Thank God they put a partition between the naked people. Man that could have been uncomfortable.
When Susan said she wanted to do something kinky, Ted thought she just wanted to wear a wig.
US Patent:0055384590 This invention allows a man and a woman smell one another's chest, arm pits and 'special purpose' areas all at the one time. The device can be used for...well i'm sure someone in Japan will want it...
If your Doctor attended THIS Medical School, maybe we can help. We are 1-800-MALPRACTICE
Resistance is futile...with the new "do it yourself" Borg home creation kit!
Your Honor, the diagram will plainly show that the Defendant, Dr. Smith, clearly did not know what he was doing ...
I prefer doctors' waiting rooms where they just have 6-month-old magazines to look at.
Laughter is the best medicine! Unless you have aliens invading your body. Then you should probably call Scully and Mulder.
I caught my kids playing 'Doctor' today after they saw this ... I had to have them committed to a mental institution.
In the year 2098, after std's nearly wiped put the human race Trojan new condoms guaranteed safety by never letting the no-no regions touch.
Only in TRUE love, doth a man and female swap their own excretions and bodily fluids.
Most notable about this picture is the balding man and the mid-20's physiology of the woman. I want to be a scientist when I grow up!
The new way of administering CPR via body odor while interesting ultimately failed
"It's so hard to get a boner when I can't play with your boobs....and what the WHAT THE HELL SMELLS LIKE FISH?!?!?!"
"Uh, Doctor, I think you're mis-identifying the organs they WANTED to donate."
MAN---"I knew I should've worn deodorant before I signed on for this test" WOMAN---"I knew I should've used a douche before I singned on for this test"
"And Adam's scrotum was intricately joined to Eve's chest, and then her nose, and there was much rejoicing."
Uhh.... is it modern technology? Damnit Tim this is why no one wants to play pictionary with you.
"I'll tell you what he said! He asked me to forcibly insert the lifeline exercise card into my anus!"
What do you mean Vin Diesel will turn into Milla Jovich if he makes another babysitter movie?
and when they're finished, the female sucks the life out of the male through these tubes.
Toys-R-US had to pull the latest version of OPERATION off the shelf after too many complaints
After you sell your soul to Satan, there are several procedures that follow
'And, as this next diagram shows, there is very little left to the world of sexual exploration.'
Cartoon Debbie was really self conscious about the size of her gigantic nipples.
"Hey honey, you know why they call beans the musical fruit?'' "Ewwww! Earl, you're disgusting!Uh I think I'm gonna vomit" "No don't vomit please!!!! Bleh* Gloop* Gargle* gargle* Thats a lesson in karma, Earl
The oppositions terms for maintaining the population if homosexual marriage is legalized.
This year's Menorah in the Hanukkah festival needs one more light to be considered Kosher ...
Though much, much more cheaper, most men still preferred buying a diamond engagement ring rather than the alternative.
Thank you Sona Laser Hair Removal! Now we can wear our smog/rapist/organ harvester repellant in public without embarrassment!
for some reason i get the feeling that the new form of sexual intercourse won't catch on
"Honey, I think this wallpaper would look good in the baby's room. What do you think?" "Well it'll sure save us from that embarrassing 'where do babies come?' talk."
In the future you can only have sex with someone who shares your blood type.
i don't care WHAT the fuck those people are doing, just don't let that deathstalker scorpion get in my shoe!
Chang couldn't understand why his product only sold well in Japan, but someday the world will be ready for the his and her supreme genital vacume of love.
So son, what DID you do with the forty-thousand bucks I gave you to go to Medical School?
If aliens are smart enough to create spaceships, you would think they would be better at anatomy.
2020: Breakthrough studies allow scientists to create unbeatable "red-rover" team.
It was at this point, that Lloyd realised the future wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.
The crisis is so hard that some people decided to share even their organs.
So when I've attached myself to them, you make off with their wallets, you got that Zordon?
What the Fuck is that hanging over their heads? Is that a CROSS !? Oh God, That IS Perverted!
"Honey, are you sure we're doing this right?" "I just went through the Karma Sutra, I'm sure this is correct!" "That's the installation manual for our sprinkler system..."
After seeing THESE pictures, the jury felt pity for both the victim AND the defendant.
before writing books, Dr.Seuss had a short and unsuccessful stint as a surgeon.
A precise psychic collaboration of sex pheromones will trigger the above thingamadangle to spin and knock over the mini-bar bottles. I call my creation: The Aristocrats 2525
This is what eventually happens when you are desensitized by internet pornography.
Karen knows her true 'soul-mate' is out there, somewhere; but until the day HE shows up, she decides to stick with Ted.
Thanks for coming in today people, today's teamwork exercise: if one of you move, you will tear out the armpits, genitals, face, and heart of the other.
As amazing as this feels, and I admit that I have never felt closer to you...but I just can't stop obsessing about whether they sterilize these things between uses.
It just goes to show what my grandmother always used to say; "Small hydraulic genital shield-Big heart."
Have your kids watch The Matrix and then show them this and they will be reluctant to have sex til at least college.
"Some of my friends claim I'm too 'clingy'" "Honey, that's the craziest thing I ever heard"
eventually the amish gave in to modern technology, but eye contact during sex was still out of the question
This hieroglyphic painting found in the deepest chambers of the pyramids of Giza, is thought to portray the ancient Egyptians' beliefs on sex in the afterlife.
Thank you for flying Bondage Airways. In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, please secure your oxygen masks to your head and genitals and a flight attendant will be by to tell you how bad you've been.
Michael Jackson recently bought 20 of these, in extra small. (Sorry Michael, but it NEVER gets old)
Seven of Nine from Japanese Star Trek has a way better costume than the American version.
The Scientologist's version of Genesis was far more stranger than King James' Bible.
I resent my father for years when he tried to teach me about the birds and the bees.
The sketch for Marilyn Manson's next stage costume was unvailed in it's drawing board form.
The most revolutionary fetish in the porn industry just popped onto the scene. The kink? Non-physical sexual intercourse.
It's the only way a bald man's gonna get a good looking woman in this life...
In some 3rd world countries, advances in internet technology aren't as far along as others.
Body fluid saving system for couples comes in handy in those long sunday walks through the Sahara desert.
How am I going to convince my girlfriend to wear that... wait... I don't have a girl friend.
...If you come this way, you will find all of the children whose parent forbid them to use the internet masterbating here.
The Aliens finally find a way to trick large groups of humans into getting close enough to the facehuggers.
An illustration of John Mccain having sex.. When you're that fucking old, you start to think of new ways to do it..
New transgender operations were a sinch....I just involved transfering the souls of a gay man who wanted to be a woman in to the body of a lesbian who wanted to be a man. Me?? I just switched for one day and never left the house.
Ever wanted to breath the air from the genitals of a person in the next room? Well now for the easy one time payment of $39.99...
You know when you said you wanted me to put you up against the wall and penetrate you I was thinking of something totally different........funny huh?
That thing is reading a how-to guide on the best methods of implanting eggs inside a human host.
for all those couples who have a need to smell their partners junk at all times... wait its just us?
This operation is an alternative to ExtenZe - With two hearts and double the blood volume, your penis will surely grow into massive proportions!
Pictured: Leonardo da Vinci's Vitruvian Man, before he took some more time to think about it...
This is why it takes robots to figure out how to connect people to the Matrix.
smell ya dick, smell ya dick, smell ya dick through a wall, through a wall, through a wall
Imagine if these two showed up at your front door in the middle of the night... how awkward would that be?
The latest Muppet designs suggested that Jim Henson was becoming greatly disturbed.
if you ejaculate you're partner will take it in the nose and in the armpits dont ask why the armpits just because I picked it. -Jigsaw
The way a psychotic stalker will ALWAYS think of you. Not you personally, that person right behind you, yes, THAT one.
Everyone, that's Gods drawing board.....he's replacing us....He. Must. Be. Stopped.
when push comes to shove, theres some bloody wall in the center always stopping you.
This is what would happen if the Borg assimilated FPS_Doug from Pure Pwnage. BOOM, headshot! - of his bawls that is
This invention allows you and your lover to enjoy inhaling each others urine together.
I could make a joke about her boobs being so small she gets mistaken for a washboard, but I got class.
A contraption for those who feel like they don't smell enough taint in their normal day to day.
This was Obama's first act as Commander and Chief which lead to the divorce rate hitting an all time low.
"I can smell your va-jay-jay from here." "Yeah, your balls aren't exactly ROSES."
Bad Feng Shui! Bad Feng Shui! The long part of the lamp should point UP! Come on!
Peter Chung's new cartoon for kids: Happy Time Heart Genitals Oxygen Mask Nose Clip Strange Fucking Tree Coathook Thing Strike Force With Miniature Bottles of Drambuie
FINALLY!!!! I have created a device that will allow woman to experience the pleasure a man gets from his own farts! I AM GOD!
I havn't got the first clue what it is, but for some reason i really, really, really want one.....or two
You know what? The "Hellraiser" series is dead. If this is your best concept for a new Cennobite, then fuck it, why even bother?
And here, we attempt to get Patrick Stewart and Drew Barrymore to breed in captivity...
Learning to breath urine and sweat can be a sensual experience! Remove your clothes and relax. There's nothing more intimate than sharing this with your partner.
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