Other Craptions

Gulliver never recorded the fact that he was gang raped in captivity by the Lilliputians

It's important to educate people about prostate cancer. But not that important.

And Where Did The Borrowers Touch You?

Giant hunting has been outlawed in most countries, but Japan has yet to ban it

This year in history Santa's minions conquered the greatest threat to their toy empire: Nintendo.

2058: the year man captured god, tied him down, and molested him

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR POINTING AT ME!"

WE FOUND WALDO!! And this time, he's not leaving.

WOW MOMMY! THAT INFLATABLE COWBOY IS SHITTING ELVES!!!

Quick guys!..Help us get him up....He's our designated driver...

When Santa gets drunk, HE FUCKING GETS DRUNK

In other news the rouge maceys parade blimp is in custody today after a gut wrenching three day stand off. Sources tell us the crack SWATT (Santa's With Attitude Tactics and Trouble) team is credited with bringin down the criminal.

So that's where the gigantic green finger goes!

The annual cum-shot world championships.This years theme: Elves whacking off to Santa and Mrs.Clause gettin jiggy with it !

Where will Santa's elves be when diarrhea strikes??

COME ON BOYS SHES GAGGING FOR IT!

Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear.

Santa's helpers have defeated Satan once and for all!

Gulliver never thought the love of a hundred midgets could fulfill his most forbidden desires. He felt loved for the first time.

Negotiations with the Union of Elves takes a nasty turn

"Please don't fart... oh god.. please.."

It was always a chore to hold Paul Bunyan's Hair back after he'd been drinking to much

What the elves planned to do after catching God was anybody's guess

Get ready for the world's biggest blow job!

And on the 2nd day, God said unto them, "gather round and behold the burning bush."

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade received a lot of heat for having a balloon to theme of "Cowboy Prison Bitch"

So that's where Santas come from!

Santa's elves attempt to get him up and ready for Christmas after a night of WAY too much eggnog

And suddenly...an idea came to Jonathan Swift

Even Giants aren't able to cut lines on Black Friday without consequences

I believe in God, and I believe in Santa, but the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze.

These Obama rallies keep getting stranger and stranger

"Mommy, Why is Santa humping that Ford dealership?"

We are gonna need one big-ass suppository (pun intended).

The most terrifying orgy ever.

The elves finally decide they've had enough of Santa's tyranny.

Angels falling from heaven are a clear sign of the apocalypse

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; An inflatable Mario he'd tied to the ground, So his horny old elves would have something to pound.

Head Elf: Why weren't you at elf practice? Hermey: Just examinin' this dolls' prostate. Head Elf: Just examinin'...? Now listen, we have dolls that cry, talk, walk, blink and run a temperature. We don't need any dolls with prostate issues! Herm

"We have to save him!" "For God's sake, man, I'm a doctor not a balloonist!"

I got Christmas all wrong

Thats how Gulliver knew love for the first time.

No Country For Inflated Men.

2059: people get bored of capturing god, and leave him in the middle of a 4 way intersection.

The reenactment celebrating yesterdays Captions 1 day anniversary failed miserable.

step one: collect underpants...

Ho Ho holy shit what the hell is that?

Choosing Yosemite Sam as her next monster was a low point in Rita's campaign against the Power Rangers. His demise at the hands of mall santas led to a more stringent application process.

Toy Story 2: Totally Anal