AwakeAllTheTime
Steve would go to extreme efforts to see down girls shirts, while trying to blend in as much as possible.
VladTheUmpire
"And the OTHER thing I hate about 10 foot tall green aliens is....what?...there's one standing right behind me isn't there?"
Paddles
The secret police protecting Proposition 8 are a little more conspicuous than necessary.
landmine76
"Sara, I thought when you said 'let's go out and get freaky' you meant... you know... girl-on-girl action."
Leaf
At the most recent Scientology fundraiser, Katie Holmes takes a stroll down the path while Tom Cruise chats with a fan and his child in the background.
marvelxf4
I warned you! I warned you kids raised by lesbians turn out to be green, giant, oddly shaped monsters...just like it says in Leviticus.
Leaf
"Ladies, can you help me?? I've lost my child. I can't find her anywhere... They get lost so easily blending into a crowd like this...."
kirpuff
The victims of the giant praying mantis are usually oblivious until the very end
mattxpirate
We were as confused as this extraterrestrial when we found out the one in the orange pants was a woman...
snotsnake
"You know, I always thought those things coming out of their heads looked like dicks..." "Ummm..." "Oh, fuck, there's one right behind me, isn't there?"
CavalierX
Sad to say, the giant crippled celery-stalk alien is the most attractive of the three...
8ajl8
The day aliens finally come to live on earth, they'll be used in circuses around the world
redman
there was a time when green and white people couldn't walk on the same path you know son
flyerzrule
It would really suck if there was a neon green man on stilts behind me, but seriously, what are the chances of that.
bilbo1
No more acid for me man. I always see killer mutant Gumby when I have too much. Oh, shit! There he is!
Ironlightsaber
AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Look out!!! The giant green penis-headed monster is right behind you!!!!!!!
schadenfreude9
The creators of the new Ghostbusters movie insisted in not using any CGI. Hilarity ensued.
walterscarff
BACKGROUND: Baby being traumatized for life. FOREGROUND: Sweet lesbian threesome in the works.
DamnitDog
Mom, dont turn around. MOM, dont turn around. MOM SERIOUSLY DONT TURN AROUND, THE ACID JUST KICKED IN.
baronvonkickass
"I know exactly what you're saying baby, I too will never get to be as tall and as good at creeping out girls as my father is."
BeardedClam
Well if this is the case, I'm canceling my cruise to the Carribean immediately!
NotMike
"Uh, I think you're looking for the 'radioactive monstrosity festival'. It's across the street."
ibox
Following their anal probes, Jessica and Melissa are escorted off the mother ship by the alien nurse assistant
smallshrimp
There was a time when giant defomed green people wouldn't even be allowed on the same streets as us
agalryunaer
Oh so this happens when your great grand parents have children with their brothers and their children with their brothers and so on...
Iapyx
It's a good thing he's wearing all green. Now he can be digitally altered to look like someone who isn't a moron.
sofaking
I freaking hate steve so much. He ruins every party, he's so rude, and he's... he's standing right behind me isn't he?
bydonn
"Oh, where, oh, where has my little alien gone? Oh, where oh where can he be?...'
agalryunaer
The complete sign back there reads: Caribbean Blob slimning things from hell, welcome
MillsC9
You know what I hate? 11 foot tall neon green aliens... OH god, there's one right behind me... isn't there?
Rex-Jester
Beware the Chartreusian Stalkers They're tall as shit ugly green walkers They're quiet as a mime, but smell like green slime. And they like to look down at your knockers.
bydonn
"People are staring because of him!" "No, it's because we're hot lesbians." "Oh. Now I feel better..."
duffman449
The one behind it is about to eat a baby. I guess it's better than Mexican food at a fair.
agalryunaer
When she asked me how she would recognize me for our blind date I told her I would be wearing a skinny cthulhu costume. Now this guy behind me fucked my chance for ever... what are the odds?!
bydonn
Paraplegic aliens do not prey on chicks using handicap pity. But, they do like a good probing now and again....
Dr.Pepper
Green Giant's new ad campaign to stalk and scare the shit out of their customers wasn't going so well: WOMAN ON LEFT: "Just buy the damned spinach from him, Sharon!" WOMAN ON RIGHT: "Screw him. Strictly Del Monte in my house, bitch!"
bydonn
"...Please, just take a look at this milk carton....He's got to be around here somewhere...."
sofaking
These two ladies inadvertently saved the world by ignoring Gorblax. He lost all self-confidence and called off the invasion.
chromigula
In his later years, Gumby began to lose the control of his body that he had worked his whole life for, forcing doctors to implant stilts in his arms and legs. Tired with this life, Gumby later found to his horror that he was immune to most forms of
tovarish_stulov
"Basically, its like a Roomba, except it just follows you around until you sit on its head."
DamnitDog
Whatever you do dont let its head touch you? Thats how they mark their territory.
mabogo
Look.......I know that she's your sister... I know that you were raised together...but, um....are you sure that Celia wasn't adopted...I just don't see the family resemblance....
DamnitDog
Believe it or not Michael Jackson has found yet another way to alienate himself from rest of humanity.
Morganite
Will the gelfling owner of a green Landstrider herd please go immediately to the Great Conjunction - your warsteeds are having their way with the Caribbean Podlings!
Leaf
Liz and Susan realized their mistake. They were looking for the Humanbean festival.
DamnitDog
Its the day before thanksgiving and I am still stuck in the office. Any my girlfriend is adamant about driving to Waco tonight. Damnit. Sorry, back to the Craptions.
DragonFlyJones
David Lynch ran a series of commercials for Prop 8.... fortunately none of them aired...
icemantis99
Years later, Gumby became curious about his sexuality, and began investigating lesbians.
Cordmontgomery
Thanks to our new special outreach program, even the mentally challenged and disabled ghosts get a chance to haunt others.
Cremaster
"Lucky break we got assigned a decent sized one, not one of those small sprats"
Cordmontgomery
In a desperate attempt by the Mormon church, they summoned trolls to help enforce proposition 8.
Cordmontgomery
Spider-Man 4 had to make many budget cuts in the costume department due to a crumbling economy.
Hero
Little Spencer may be paralyzed from the waste down, but gosh darn it if he isn't going to be the best stilt performer like his hero, Schjkasorjhtg.
Batman?
The homosexual is typically a predator-less animal. But that is about to change.
bydonn
"Can anyone tell us where are can get moustache rides?? Oh, and silver ass glitter, too...."
mindlessdrifter
We all new that there would be some illegal aliens at the minority foods festival.
Jarhead
Anywhere else they would create panic, but in San Francisco the aliens were hardly noticed.
rokket_vapor
But my head is shaped like a.....Oh, I guess you two wouldn't be interested.
Jarhead
"Excuse me ladies but I'm a Galactic War vet and I'm trying to buy a ticket home, could you spare a few thousand credits? Xenu bless you."
Jarhead
Damn Galactic War vets! Always asking for spare credits to buy a shuttle ticket home.
Tripster2001
"I don't mean to intrude, but seriously, how does this planet manage this whole gravity thing?"
Jarhead
Abandoning his kid at the park to go party with two lesbian chicks, the father proved aliens can be shitty fathers too.
EddieBrock412
What the heck? these people aren't Japanese! this picture makes no sense at all!
littleyoyo
"So that was us at the premiere of 'Signs', with living green screen aliens and everything."
Batman?
In ten seconds, Chuck Norris came in with a Lol Cat. And that is how the internet is born.
Mr.Ogynist
Listen, Lisa. I know that this is a Cultural Awareness Fair and all, but I seriously hate those fucking illegal aliens.
shermanator2004
"So a black guy, a mexican, and a Green Mon... wait... I tell you this joke later."
xKaedx
Jose misunderstood what his father meant when he said an illegal alien doesn't fit in at Cambridge.
Ewar
I'm really trying to think of a good caption, but my head just keeps screaming "DICKHEAD!".
HikariShadow
After a horrible accident caused by drunk teen, Gumby began to to stalk college students for revenge.
smallshrimp
9 months after having inbred sex with his sister, the Jolly green giant found this at his doorstep
badonia
Cindy:"ok!!! i'll do it. we can have a 3some but i get to pick the lady." Jim"HOT DAMN!!! let's do this" Cindy:"ok, turn around & meet ingrid"
MasterBates
Few people know that the Gay and Lesbian Alliance assigns each lesbian couple is a radioactive-snot-jester bodyguard
badonia
adding alien cripples did little for the des moines chamber of commerces "carribean nights"
stapleears
Work release programs in Brazil are a bit more "colorful" than those in the US
penismighty
"I bet I'd be less conspicuous if I look down their shirts with this costume on."
yanksking17
All the costume's for Rocco's Modern Life Live were perfect, except for Ed Bighead's
CraigMaitland21
Is that a chick with short hair or a guy wearing capri pants? Bob the Alien was determined to find out.
phreesh
I can understand you needing canes when you're on four foot stilts, but the one in the back isn't even trying.
monroeyoder
It would be easier to admire the alien guy's stilt skills if it didn't look like a green turd was about to jump out of his scalp onto unsuspecting people with terrible fashion sense.
NotMike
For his next Batman film, Chris Nolan strayed from his 'grounded in reality' stance when it came to The Riddler.
Sedul
Myth: Playbook #42 : Dress up as a towering green alien with elongated appendages, middle-age women will flock to you with rage.
bamentt
"Mom, that's the guy that asked me to the prom" "That's fine honey, when you said he was "colored" I was concerned".
bydonn
The lesbians couldn't help but smile a bit as they tried to ignore the street performers at Billy Ocean Day in Jamaica....
Saccharin
The Oathbreakers who did not fight for Aragorn had to perform less than reputable work to make ends meet.
linx
They say the grim reaper visits you before you die... This is what visits you before you throw up.
okilroyo
Little did Miss Piggy know, having her way with Kerrmie would Permanently disfigure him.
KenSco
Look at buddy talking to the "Mini-Green Loser" nice rubber boots/track pants combo, I feel bad for that kid, he's stuck with him all day.
OmegaFlaire
Promotions for the movie "War of the Worlds II" wasn't going so good...and i think Steven Spielberg was high.
bydonn
"So, how'd you two meet?" "Well, I was alone in a field, he abducted me, and it was love at first probe." "And, one more surprise: Criton, come meet your grandmother!"
hadabochi
Mom, don't look now, but I think that guy has his pole in my ass....yup, he does.
KenSco
"I travel 5 billion light years to Earth, where it is whispered that females couple with each other, and this is what I get!?!?!??!..........man Earth is so toast. Fire up Omega Beams!"
NotMike
Lacking the proper U.F.O. technology, the Schlongorians had to rely on much less subtle strategies to observe human behavior.
Sedul
These ladies won't even know what hit them until they realize that they forgot to recycle at the fair.
CottonMuck
"You know what I hate, green tall monsters... Wait a minute, theirs one behind me isn't there?
IntellectSucks
"And in other news, another victim was teabagged in the park today by a giant green alien"
Leaf
Sue and Betty turned away from their new friend. She was nice enough, but the conversation was stilted.
bobducks
The alien forced the "lesbians" to take him to "their" leader, so they assumed he meant Ron Howard.
mikeish
heh...so i guess "limb extending-green paint covering-dickhead forming-merry-go-round" really is the the "limb extending-green paint covering-dickhead forming-merry-go-round"...huh...lifes a bitch
kagezan
It's a little-known fact that blessing someone's sneeze sometimes results in demonic possession of the product...a further argument for the separation of church and bodily functions.
Leaf
She'd look so much better if she at least got a circumcision... I mean a haircut... Um... wait... a circumcision... definitely...
Laurara
While in the background a man offers a sacrifice of his first born son to sate the monsters blood thirst
DamnitDog
This is what became of Actor Steve Guttenberg following the finaly of Cocoon 2: The Return.
ivecomehomenow
Sorry ladies I'll lose my job if I let freaks like board the mother ship.
hadabochi
Your not having those hallucinations again are you Jen? I told you to stop free basing toilet cleanser.
TychPsych
I feel bad for those two girls who will continue to be labeled lesbians. I mean, what if they're just friends?
DamnitDog
"Anna, is this your mother?" "Anna, do you know that thing?" "No mom, never saw him before in my life. Just keep walking."
rcgiff
The Alien invaders failed to adequately grasp the native tongues of Earth, and subsequently did not realize that Humanity did not use the term "overlord" literally.
darthtanion
Excuse me can I have some change for the bus? You see my son and I crashed our space ship and my wife is not answering her phone and I have to get to Gargxorynx for my cousin's daughter's birthday and...
DamnitDog
"Sweetie, whats wrong?" "There is a big green woman on stilts following us." "Honey thats ridiculous, there is no one, HOLY SHIT RUN"
DamnitDog
Welcome to California, if you have a few seconds I would like to explain to you the benefits of medicinal marijuana.
DamnitDog
AND THIS is why Prince and the Revolution are having such a hard time recruiting for the Jahova's Witnesses.
OlDirtyBen
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge, both how I'm livin' and my nose is large!
DamnitDog
Marijuana Man Marijuana Man Encouriging experimentation between actractive females where ever he can. DID'NT YOU HEAR ME I SAID ATTRACTIVE. BREAK THAT UP, WE WILL HAVE NOT OF IT.
the_messer
Tim was furious that only one other person had taken his "Dress Like an Alien Freak" Party seriously.
Leaf
Liz hung her head and desperately tried to remember how to get this damn thing off!!
julesrules
Forced to adopt from out of the solar system; same sex couple Bertha and Jo are ecstatic with their huge, green bundle of joy.
Bender_Is_Great
"I don't know why I have to wear this ridiculous outfit, when they're just going to greenscreen me out, anway...."
DamnitDog
Help me, my costume is so horrible I can't even get a cameo on Sanctuary and its on the Sci Fi channel. They will play anything. ANYTHING.
Mr.Birchfield
When not on stage showing off there remarkable beards, Edward and Vincent have other strange hobbies
DamnitDog
Excuse me, my son and I are trying to raise money for a trip home and we are only $400,000 short. Do you think you could spare some change?
DamnitDog
Matt Groening began casting for the role of Kiff in the upcoming live action Futurama Movie. So far it looks like its gonna suck.
DamnitDog
"Your embarresed of me? Seriously." "Well you should be more like your sister here" "Then I guess you havent seen your little daughter Daishas double penetration video on the net" "Of course I have sweetie, who do you think filmed it? Now come on
DamnitDog
I still have to wonder exactly how we lost to these guys, I mean did we forget how to kick?
DamnitDog
Well what do you expect when you invite Marilyn Manson to join us? Cause it shouldnt be anything along the lines of Normal now should it?
Izlude
Aliens from the planet "cripplar" studying the correlation between short haired females and lesbianism
hurrakane212
"He seems nice..." "Come on Mary, he's just trying to look down your shirt."
DamnitDog
Miss. Miss excuse me I seemed to have lost a contact, can you help me look for it? Miss, miss there is no need to run.
DamnitDog
Prince and the Revolution took a different approach to spreading the good word of Jahova.
DamnitDog
"I thought we were in Japan" "Nope" "Then why is everyone acting so fucking weird?"
Xerodo
The man in the background is in clear violation of the "Do not feed mutant Lesbian hunter" rule.
DamnitDog
Can you tell why Richard Round Tree is not in this picture. Thats right, because he hates Caribbean Food. Good Job.
DamnitDog
Seriously you have to promise that this picture will not end up on the internet. Promise me.
bamentt
"Now honey, when you start your period, you need to use a tampon. It's not that uncomfortable. Let me show you".
Xerodo
"Bill, I got the point of white clothes when we were in the Klan, but how the hell are stilts and lime green suits supposed to be anti-prop 8?"
YogSothoth
That little boy in the background will be traumatized for the rest of his life.
DragonFlyJones
The Republicans would lead you to believe that this is what happens if you dont vot YES on Prop 8....
icemantis99
I'm not so curious about the giant penis-headed stilt person; I've seen wierder. Personally, the migit in the back in the penis-head suit that STILL needs stilts is what I want to know more about.
jeremyb
For their father and son outing, they dressed in all green and tried to sniff people.
Cordmontgomery
Thanks to our new outreach program. The mentally challenged and disabled ghosts are given a chance to haunt others.
badmojo
graakl was greatful to the lesbians. they had learned to accept the penis growing out of his head.
bydonn
Campaigning for next season's "Dancing ON the Stars", they couldn't help but feel a little out of place....after all, no one else needed crutches....or was green and dick-headed
DScolpini
Contrary to popular belief, the new green KKK robes are not very good at helping you stalk your prey unnoticed.
bydonn
The two creatures tried to ingore the intimidating stares from everyone, including the green thingys....
bydonn
Polio patients try to hide their inflicting disease by disguising themselves, and therefore, blend in. Try again.
Pineapple666
Everyone had to admit it, the Klan really needed to work on the whole camouflage idea when tailing gay couples.
Tripster2001
After years of patiently waiting for the right moment, Gumby now knew he would have his revenge!!
CardiganHarle
"Oh Look hun! The Green Lantern!" "No no Mom, that's not the Green Lantern, that's what Boy George blew out his nose."
CaptainTerror
Caribbean Eateries attract the strangest folks, lesbians...Giant green men...Green midgets...Everybody!
Yowza
In the beginning, when Bruce Banner got angry, his limbs elongated and his penis suddenly grew straight out of his head.
lord.henry
Excuse me ladies, I seem to have dropped my phone, and - wait, you're not even listening! Your indented genital kind will suffer our wrath when we are your masters! THEN we'll see who picks up whos' iPhone!
chuck_steak
"Hun, do you smell broccolli?" "Yeah, just ignore him and maybe he'll go away"
DangerousBob
"You know what I really hate, tall green guys...theres one right behind me isnt there...."
Jksexbomb
little green boy: Have you seen my dad? green daddy: um...if im not mistaken ms. arent you suppose to be with an opposite sex? how will you reproduce? is it possible? in human terms do you call this "lesbian"?
zekie123
"I TOLD you not to cross the human DNA with celary but NOOO! lil' miss curiouse had to create what looks like gumbee's retarded cousine!" "I SAID I WAS SORRY!"
mariam67
Everyone laughed at Dan when he said his life's dream was to be the Jolly Green Giant, but he never gave up.
Mud-Whistle
Uncle Skrotor just didn't have the heart to tell Jane.....yes, those pants made her ass look fat...
shermanator2004
"See, honey! This is why food fairs are so much more awesome in Amsterdam."
HamBaconEgg
Stretched legs, stretched arms, even a stretched head... good thing they didn't do the same with the breasts-
Straxus
Just when you thought lesbians were the worst of your problems, that weird kid from Phalluscephalus IV shows up.
Falcoteer
Cthulhu's Caribbean ninjas weren't quite as stealthy as the garden variety Japanese ninjas.
WLTwitch
Betty, I need to know. Is it true what they say about tall neon green men having big cocks? He tore my ass up so bad, my anus wont close.
WLTwitch
Grandma, every time I turn around I see a faggy tall booger thingdancing. What does it mean? It means you miss cock snot hitting you in the face. Don't deny your pornstar heritage
WLTwitch
Get outta my way, bitches! I have to be at the Cirque De Ganguebang in 5 minutes!
boxedman20
The female Penis-crested Goblin stalks its favorite prey, a couple of lesbians.
Aneuroid
Jan and Mandy never knew for sure aho the sperm donor was, but they were reasonably sure he was European.
boxedman20
Hey girls, penis on your forehead does work. Nobody's stared at my tits all day.
markrrose
Bob was upset when they passed someone wearing the exact same costume as him...and it worked just as well without the stilts.
ritsuka
Afraid that Pirates of the Caribbean was a true story, and all these people were pirates in disguise, Cox-Bag decided to run for his life and hide behinde an ugly pair of pirates... forgetting his son was lost in the fray.
Frankenstud
"Its not funny Betty! I told you that having a child with Bruce would be a crap shoot!"
ohnjaynb
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! Oh, and that thing has a big penis coming out of it's head, lesbians, penis, penis, penis.
Raoneo
The newly opened depths...It lumbered slobberingly into sight and gropingly squeezed Its skinny green immensity through the carnival.... The stars were right again, and what an age-old cult had failed to do by design, a couple of innocent dykes had d
marshmallow:D
Maybe this guy can show us where the booth for probing is at. We have always wanted to spice up our relationship Olga. Maybe this is just what our hermaphrodite/ lesbian lives have been wanting all this time.
SurvivalRate10
"Jill, what the Hell is that?" "Oh, that's just the new dildo3000 I just bought."
solarrocker
Just ignore it and it will go away, thrust me I deal with these types all the time!
Joe Green
Green Dave and his son attempt to peek down Women's shirts. . . . . . . . Little Mike never got the hang of it.
BlackSuit
Thats not an alien, its obviously a man on stilts in a costume! Now as for that smaller one in the back.............
mikeyscouse
eeewww you have chlamidia,,, well you can talk..you have a giant green wart growing out of your ars..
mikeyscouse
can someone please explain to me what green retards on stilts have to with the caribbean??
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
dano 
Nov 21st, 2009 
Nov 20th, 2009 
Nov 19th, 2009 
Nov 18th, 2009 
Nov 17th, 2009 
Nov 16th, 2009 
Nov 15th, 2009 
Nov 14th, 2009 
Nov 13th, 2009 
Nov 12th, 2009 
Nov 11th, 2009 
Nov 10th, 2009 
Nov 9th, 2009 
Nov 8th, 2009 
Nov 7th, 2009 
Nov 6th, 2009 
Nov 5th, 2009 
Nov 4th, 2009 
Nov 3rd, 2009 
Nov 2nd, 2009 
Oct 31st, 2009 
Oct 30th, 2009 
Oct 29th, 2009 
Oct 28th, 2009 
Oct 27th, 2009 
Oct 26th, 2009 
Oct 25th, 2009 
Oct 24th, 2009 
Oct 23rd, 2009 
Oct 22nd, 2009 
Oct 21st, 2009 
DrTom 
Drroxxette 
pirate 
GaseousClay 
MindPez 
wickedspork 
fairies74 
jsrduck 
Hank 
Ed_Gein 
Bionic_Crouton 
Phil 
SBTL 
pambeesly 
gm_zero 
gamadaya 
Linux fan 
Kakoo 
montanaguy 
Cheekstheclown 
ShawnStu 
spoo 
princess4evr 
kiddo 
ajp1015 
Chojinra 
Brett-Butler 
wamsachel 
charokee 
Fkelleghan 
tthom979 
haribo 
DickDastardly 
P2M 
DrKelso420 
kellyZenith 
Tunikidya 
Fearofgirls 
aaronboz 
texasmame 
gigglepie 
SilverHearted 
KillerPineapple 
darthangel310 
pyrogen 
Mr.Lumberjack 
ScarlettOhara 
spenner 
ffryde 
SlightlyNormal 
Truthiness 
Crews 
RazDaz 
BobMaster 
Beth 
UncleBear 
Bioked 
tift 
mactheknife 
hollohill 
Savean 
Gandark 
mexgeo86 
TheSnacker 
RyukXD 
Tezzle 
QuickWit 
darthbogus 
fthrud 
Seekertickets 
BowToTheBard 
Spamman 
pottman8 
MafiasSON 
War8nt 
Krahnage 
Ubergeek 
Duck 
Impure 
TheShoveller 
G1drake 
BayArea 
drifter1717 
nikkipikkle 
pwnd117 
Boobtube 
corvetteken 
slipknot_kid 
Anzio 
cutslasher 
icemanx 
meat 
UncleByBlood 
Mastodonald 
pariahnola 
Panicman123 
What_the_funk? 
trance.stimuli 
fdurden35 
bafaulkner 
navonod 
KingFungGuggy 
ferretron 
elpresidente 
sumguy 
xpacerx 
