Other Craptions

Here, I think this fell out of your.... Ummm, you dropped this sir.

-Dammit Joe! I have a date in an hour. Can you please make sure you get it right IN my buttcrack?

The silver surfer was caught behind enemy lines and detained in Gitmo where he endured horrible humiliation and torture

Its nice we can still do things as a family

The worst part is you're supposed to tip him when you leave.

Worst second place trophy ever.

Being female ive always been curious about mens bathrooms. Now i'd like someone to shoot my eyeballs out of my brains.

Everytime I wipe my ass, I lose a little bit of myself.

Being the Silver Surfer's protege isn't as glamorous as you think.

Yeah, I have trouble painting my own ass, too.

Unhappily, due to his upright narcolepsy and his asshole friends, Dave fell victim to prank after prank.

Yeah, but his farts look like the Fourth of July!

Who knew the Gay Pride Day float had a hood ornament?

want some silver coins? pull my finger

So... someone walked into the men's room, saw this, and felt they just had to take a picture?!?!

The average homosexual will shed its skin at least once a month.

Gary knew he had a tough life as an ass-painter, but every day he managed to find a silver lining.

Jerry hated replacing his robot's batteries.

Timmy, you're going to have an awesome 8th birthday! I hired a robot from Craig's List!

I SAID GOLD SPRINKLES YOU BASTARD!!!! NOW I AM GOING TO LOOK STUPID!!!!

Dear Cracked staff: One non-gay picture. That's all we're asking for. Just one.

All that glitter's disturbing!

"Um, you want this where?!?!

Later that night, he'd pass out drunk and a bunch of hobos would try to recycle him.

Silver Balls.....Silver Balls..It's Christmas time in the shity.....!

I don't think that's gonna wash off, Phil.

Dave you gotta stop farting if you want the glitter to stay on.

"Looking for love, in all the wrong places..."

I'm sure there's a congressman involved in this somehow.

Fuck the blue man group

Tennis shoes with a thong? Really??

Excuse me sir, can you get my ass for me?

...and this is a photo I took at the San Francisco Public Library

Damn you Steve! I said GOLDEN SHOWER! GOLDEN!

Do you expect me to talk? NO mr Smith, i expect you to SHINE!!

America may have voted in Barack Obama but there was no way Jerry was going to accept a BLACK president.

The world's most dedicated restroom attendant.

Playstation 4 rpg games are so real its kinda confusing what the hell you should do with each item...

Just seconds away from statue-atory rape.

The Oakland Raiders, desperately looking for a way to turn their season around, prepare to unveil their new uniforms.

Gary and Glitter: A love story.

Dude has toooo much zink in his diet......

Senator Craig, is that you?

"Um...Could you flush whatever it is you left in stall #2?"

Reason number 974 not to use public washrooms in San Francisco.

Shit, now i got a new fetish.

Tin man in the can......

King Midas turned everything he touched to gold. King Mid-ass was a little different!

"Wait. I forget. Are we putting this on or taking it off?"