GaseousClay
You know son, there was a time when a white man and a silver man weren't even allowed to use the same bathroom.
rolexus
-Dammit Joe! I have a date in an hour. Can you please make sure you get it right IN my buttcrack?
Hank
The silver surfer was caught behind enemy lines and detained in Gitmo where he endured horrible humiliation and torture
faith229
Being female ive always been curious about mens bathrooms. Now i'd like someone to shoot my eyeballs out of my brains.
Swaimfan
Unhappily, due to his upright narcolepsy and his asshole friends, Dave fell victim to prank after prank.
Leaf
So... someone walked into the men's room, saw this, and felt they just had to take a picture?!?!
puddly
Gary knew he had a tough life as an ass-painter, but every day he managed to find a silver lining.
MisterCode
Timmy, you're going to have an awesome 8th birthday! I hired a robot from Craig's List!
BowToTheBard
Dear Cracked staff: One non-gay picture. That's all we're asking for. Just one.
phreesh
Later that night, he'd pass out drunk and a bunch of hobos would try to recycle him.
NotMike
The Oakland Raiders, desperately looking for a way to turn their season around, prepare to unveil their new uniforms.
agalryunaer
Playstation 4 rpg games are so real its kinda confusing what the hell you should do with each item...
darthtanion
America may have voted in Barack Obama but there was no way Jerry was going to accept a BLACK president.
Leaf
King Midas turned everything he touched to gold. King Mid-ass was a little different!
chromigula
Here we see the first step in the Blue Man Group's preparations for a show. Few know that if cut open, a BMG performer actually has 15 various candy-colored layers. Like a jawbreaker.
CavalierX
This is the famous "prison rape scene" cut from the Silver Surfer movie due to ratings concerns. I'm sure it was in the Japanese release, though.
crazyivan
Listen, the glitter is just not sticking to the g-string. You're gonna have to lose the drawers if you don't want this to look gay- I mean stupid- I mean... ...just take 'em off and let's get this over with...
lycia
"god damn it Bill it seems like whenever i get the glitter washed off in one place it appears in another"
guidodarezzo
SIlver Surfer________can________ass______glitter, you fill in the blanks, im tired of doing this shit
_Phoenix_
If only Arnold had know glitter makes the T-1000 freeze, things would have been soooo much easier.
wamsachel
Having to paint the "missed spots" by hand, Bill suddenly wished he'd studied more in school
BeardedClam
Thong? Check. Running Shoes? Check.. Reflective Paint? Check... He's all set to go running at night
happydude
OH SHIT!!!! My mom is going to freak when she sees what we did to the floor!!!!
Fkelleghan
Jeff fumed to himself, "Dammit, my parents didn’t build railroads and make illegal liquor just so I’d have to scrub public artworks in the toilet!"
megaweege66
This picture is amusing to everyone except the poor schmuck who has to clean the floor
Bionic_Crouton
this is 5 seconds before the guy in the brown shirt gets his ass kicked and has to describe to the police the person who assulted him.
jurisprudence
It seems Bob didn't earn enough money from street performing and had to return to cleaning bathrooms
connan
Stop moving. If I don't finish coating your ass, you're going to look really gay.
DanimalErvin
"There must be something wrong with this gay-dar. It's only picking up 1.7 QERS, but clearly this should be off the charts!"
SirButternut
Where will you be when silver diarhoea strikes? I don't know, but it'll be fucking AWESOME!
smarmywench
Bill, you're not making that "ram you in the anus with my huge member" gesture behind me again, are you?
sofaking
They told me a career in the movies would bring me fantastic experiences, who knew that meant sprinkling glitter on a nearly naked man.
anonym
the street theater adaptation of 'saving silverman' didn't exactly get all the details right..
sofaking
One of the original members of the blue man group finally came out of the closet.
NotMike
After helping him put on his newest costume, there was no more doubt in Ted's mind: Stan Lee was fucking insane.
Bionic_Crouton
Silver paint: $2.00 Seeing your brother try to wash off the silver paint before a first date: PRICELESS!!!
Vagabundo
Bobby cried when he found out silver surfer just wasnt real. Oh and took a sample of silver feces just in case.
Mr_Warmth
Tina had no idea what Brad was up to on Saturday nights. She was afraid he might be having an affair. The truth was far more sparkly.
haefi
Mythbusters episode 127 The Myth: “If your whole Body is painted, so your skin can´t breath anymore, you die.” BUSTED! Jaimie died of overheating cause his skin couldn’t sweat anymore.
tovarish_stulov
Proving once again that the homeless problem can't be solved with sprinkles....
fthrud
A victim of bashful ignition, Johnny Torch could never flame on while the Silver Surfer was in the mens room.
JonnyB
Jerry's temp job as getting the disco ball ready at club fusion was not at all what he thought it would be.
WaistcoatBoy
Heck, I know painting yourself silver and standing on a street corner makes you rich, but Cracked, did you have to reinforce the stereotype that they're all after buttsex?
maitresse73
The guy in black is never going to get that silver sparkle out of his underpants.
Roclawzi
Tom Cruise doesn't even WANT an Oscar unless it can rap about thetans with him.
Truthiness
"Whoa! That is one cavernous ass crack there! Can I shine my flash light down it?"
hiro4696
Jim, we can see that his ass is shiny, you don't need to shine it with a flashlight...
bcanders
If your freaks taste dry and lifeless, try sprinkling with pepper and basting in butter for an hour or so
Gatt
Fantastic 4: Part III - Silver Surfer has a chance encounter at the local glory hole.
GaseousClay
At that moment Phil decided to go back to college. He refused to be a bathroom attendant his entire life.
Bionic_Crouton
After the argument,the Silver Surfer's gay lover uses a flashlight see what crawleed up his butt and died
microhendy
Who knew that Jimmy's high school spraypaint prank would have so many repercussions. Curse him for buying radioactive paint.
Ghengis
In an awkward moment for everyone involved, Steven Seagal originally tried out for Glimmer Man before reading the script.
getittwistd
L. Ron Hubbard: The Last Days The story of how Tom Cruise was brainwashed through sexual torment into a scientologist.
Ironlightsaber
When Barry complained about covering Steve with silver glitter, Steve told him to "Stick it". Unfortunately for Steve, that is just what Barry did next.
DesGardius88
"Aww, great! Very funny guys...who put this silver shit in the soap dispenser? Now it's ALL over my hands!"
agalryunaer
Mike stole Jeff's bike back in elementary school. So Jeff has planned his revenge for years and now is waiting for the final seconds until Mike realizes that is not paint but itching powder
steverz
No one gives Chuck enough credit for being the "star" on San Fransisco's Christmas tree
lawless8723
WHY CANT THEY HAVE DECENT HAND SOAPS, THIS SHIZZ MAKES ME FLAKEY....ummm sir i believe this is your.....OMG
mattxpirate
Sometimes the Tin Man would rust in the most awkward of circumstances, making it difficult to get anybody to oil him up again...
Vagabundo
When silver surfed farted, he revealed his true identity as a "playful and non gay thong wearer"
Rex-Jester
The new fusion experience of the tin-can-silver-man now coming to a bathroom near you.
drifter1717
Jon didn't want to get too close to Randy when sprinkling on the glitter, he was afraid it might seem gay.
Swaimfan
The success of her OZ adventure had left Dorothy with a compulsive tinman fetish and enough riches to afford it.
Rex-Jester
The lengths some people will go to to gain a slight advantage in the NYC marathon can push the limits of the imagination. Take the human chrome-bot, for example.
Mr_Warmth
What's in Moen's new product line for next year? You don't really want to know...
spiderjerusalem
The Silver Surfer washes up after his weekly trip to the local glory hole.
SBTL
In the morning his assistant had to reapply silver paint to the Terminator's ass where it always kept wearing off for some reason...
Izlude
"the department store is out of lube!" "well, what else do they have?" "graphite, lots and lots of graphite"
princess4evr
Bob: Um... Sorry... you missed a spot, let me help you there Metalic Man: No thats okay, I've got it covered Bob, I've got it covered.
Leaf
Silver-man was worried... He saw an odd patch of pink on his arm that he couldn't explain.
bhooker80
The third and most fabulous member of the Do-Man group takes a final sprinkle to the ass before tonight's performance.
bilbo1
That's just great. Spray me with baby powder. Because chafing is my biggest worry right now. Ass!
gtrplyr515
At the end of his life, Michael Jackson finally transformed into his ultimate form... (with the help of Jim of course)
g-unit
"Did you see behind the music: the silver surfer last night? Did you know that he had to get someone to paint him silver every day? Also, I had no idea that he did that much coke."
gtrplyr515
With extreme concentration he lowered the tube of paint, directing it to the bare exterior of his target. If he had anything to do with it, this would be the BEST DAMN HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL EVER MADE
bonneyt
In an effort to compete with other silver thong wearing street performers, John decided to spice things up a bit!
BowToTheBard
"Steve?" "Yes, Frank?" "Have I told you lately that you're my best friend?" " . . . yes, Frank."
gumball
"Why the hell did I ask for a brain? why? should've ask for functional genitlia?"
DapperDaveIa
Being the "Ass Glitter guy" was the only job Steve could land, having not completed his final year of high school.
bydonn
Super Hero Sidekicks have issues? Naw, I couldn't imagi- oh, you are so right.....
MurphysFinest
Conclusive proof: Violating Urinal Etiquette results in petrification and anal penetration.
otto_luna
You never know when diarrhea might strike back, even silver surfer had no idea
Leaf
The Mythbusters were able to conclude that covering yourself completely in paint does, in fact, make you look like a complete moron.
vickh24
Damn! Even the Silver Surfer can be a victim of pick pocketing in a gas restroom
trisber
Having just learned that Coors Light is not at all "brewed Rocky Mountain cold," Tod resolved never to drink the Silver Bullet again.
DeadMonkey321
The kids from Capri Sun found high school to be an awkward and embarrassing time as former child stars.
johnnystreets
Being the Silver Surfer's secretary is hard work. Hard, humiliating, sad work.
bydonn
If you look just right, you can see a reflection of his head in the mirror of a reflection of the mirror on his head of a reflection of his head in the......
CaptainTerror
One could only imagine the humiliation Randy would endure if the rest of the National Association for the Advancement of Silver People found out that he secretly sprayed.
Scammah
Despite destroying planets Silversurfer also had to destroy a toilet or two in the process.
bydonn
At least the silver won't come off when you don't have sex with anyone tonight, loser
Lady_Mondegreen
If it takes a week to get a few specks of glitter off, how long is this guy going to need?
HamBaconEgg
The Oscar's little silver brother didn't make it to stardome, instead he ended up working as an ATM in a Las Vegas bathroom.
solarrocker
After not being able to pass through the metal detector of OZ airport, the Tinman had to be searched.
Yowza
At 65, the aging Silver Surfer needed some "touch-up" now and then. And he was as gay as a French horn.
mikeyscouse
when our robot overlords finnaly take over...we will have to serve them in depraved and demeaning ways..
mikeyscouse
you gotta wonder what the janitor is gonna think when he sees a puddle of silver left on the floor..
getittwistd
After 12 years working at the jewelry store, Steve had finally collected enough gold flakes to realize his vision!
agalryunaer
The silver surfer shoots poop out of him if you happen to grab it before it hits you, you might survive
Indigo_Dingo
The Silver Surfer movie didn't have as large a budget as most superhero movies, so they improvised.
nodnarBylleK
you should see what he had to do a few minutes ago...just kidding you dont want to
mabogo
Even though he wields "The Power Cosmic" the Silver Surfer is no match for a scorching case of dandruff......
DCracker
As Barry practiced his robot dance, Steve made sure that Barry would look fabulous on stage.
Leaf
Looking to win her back, Jimmy Kimmel goes that extra mile to prove he's the man for Sarah Silverman...
Sporkicus
Just back out of the door slowly. There is no way this could end well, for anyone.
bilbo1
Destro, this is Cobra Commander. Get your happy ass back from the beach! I need you here, now!
Mr_Warmth
In the year 2822, intergalactic travel is commonplace. Although the security screening is pretty extensive.
Riggz309
Maybe it was their venues, or that they couldn't make music with PVC pipes, but either way... the Silver Man Group never really took off.
Riggz309
When I heard there would be Dead Or Alive character cosplay, this IS NOT what I pictured.
Bacon13
Now after Oiling and seasoning your Turkey you can slowly lower it into the fryer.
DamnitDog
David Cross revises his role as Tobias Fuqua on the upcoming Arrested Development Movie.
ajp1015
Even the gay porn version of Rise of the Silver Surfer, had better acting than FF2. So take that Chiklis!
QWiber
Goldfinger's brother, Silvertoe took a different criminal route. Instead of casing beautiful women in gold paint, he smothers slightly overweight men in fabulous glitter.
bilbo1
Oscar's brother Steve had lived a hard life as a male stripper in local men's rooms.
bonneyt
haha look how tight that guy's jaw is clinched... he's either really mad or scared the sliver man will turn around!
markrrose
Things that seemed like a good idea at the time. Or...things I've done because i thought it would impress a girl.
ramenkingroshi
Dr. Goldstein's entire career hinged on this moment. If he could shove this jar up the living trophy's rectum he could collect the final ingredient for his breakthrough cancer cure.
Jumpfo
Robocop was far from being intimidating since they tried to camouflage him with others humans.
upthebracket
It's time to go home, Gleeb, back to the land of the mirrors where you came from. Don't be afraid.
Mothershabooboo
The Spray on Silver Serfer Costume would win for best costume for sure, as long as the Spray on Venom doesn't show up again.
kellybrisbin
I hope someone's cleaning that up! That glitter will stay in the grout forever!
Paradoxtim
Unfortunately, the Tin Man had to shave off his more "valuable" parts due to the financial crisis.
tao2001
He might not have one the gold medal, but he was damned sure they'd remember his name.
tao2001
Try as they might, there was nothing they could do. There was a crack in his aluminum can.
Spamman
This is what happens when you don't switch over to digital tv by ordering "the box".
jpd5066
Whoa boy, Intel has no clue whats coming to them, AMD is making some serious marketing moves... Naked Platinum Man Group Man
DapperDaveIa
Apparently all that Glitters is not gold.....but really fucking disturbing.
Tunikidya
Unfortunately, his colour wasn't even the first reason the Blue Man Group didn't hire him.
Cremaster
Right before opening time at the 1964 World Fair Solar panel tech concept exhibition.
Leaf
"Could you polish my dick? It seems to have tarnished.." "I'm not falling for that again, Ted." "My name is Long Dong Silver, damn it!!" "If you think you can paint your ass on your own, keep it up!"
monroeyoder
Scene: George Michael's bathroom, 10 minutes prior to... well... him coming to use the bathroom
JRob
Ooh trust me sweetie! Once I sprinkle your ass up you'll look PLATINUM FLABULOUS *wrist flap*
frenchlauan
"A Robot can't move with out the Battery! - ......... Yes, i know we're only Acting but we need to be perfect .... Stick it back in me Damn it!"
Wazula
Oh I, could tell you why, the ocean's near the shore! I could- GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!
SlappyMcGee
Halfway through his internship, David began to wish that all that glittered WAS gold.
gordi
To me my board! The time has come to test Galactus anew! To see if his barrier still holds! And if it does, to try again, and again, and again — until I am free! But first... couldst thou touch up the paint job on my ass crack?
Mfabina
After the biting incident of '03, all members of Shine-On Camp for Kids are now required to wear protective thongs and footwear.
cyniclint
I said to pour the glitter as I enter the bathroom or it wouldn't be as fabulous.
alaskanmonk
(Sing it with me now)"Don't you think I'm so sexy? I'm just so fresh and... so fresh and so GLEAM GLEAM."
bydonn
In a sad, ironical twist, the moment he stepped into the sunlight, he burst into flames...again.
CardCraze
The silver man was shining with glee as the cautious man leaned in to apply the final coat.
jbudman86
After a disappointing run with Blue Man Group, Tobias Funke was determined to to be a star with his one-man show, "The Analrapist Monologues."
Rubenstinsky
You know jhonny, your mom and I will not be here forever, sooner or later you'll have to do learn to do it for your own
Rubenstinsky
Stan: When I said that I would do anything for our friendship..... somehow I didn't Imagine this
chuck_steak
How many times do I have to tell you? After you wipe, you MUST remember to re-apply the silver sparkles, otherwise you'll just look completely silly.
Frankenstud
" I will do it one more time Joe, but if you keep farting, Im gonna have to shove the tinsel up your ass..."
Jaimetown
Senator Larry Craig is still not gay. He merely thought he left his silver surfboard in the men's room at the Halloween party.....(in July)......(um, at the gay bar).
mattforrest12
Tony Hawk, caught skateboardless, was forced to use the only weapon available: the empty can of soda he always keeps in his shirtsleeve pocket.
phoenixblaze319
Tobias, feeling sad about his rejection from the Blue Man Group, misinterprets the purpose of the Silverman Group, for fans of the comedian Sarah Silverman.
icemanx
Whats common between me and the christmas tree are that the shiny balls...are just for decoration!
turtlecav
Hey Steve, so there's this guy in the bathroom, and he's totally tweaking out. He's been standing there for like, 12 hours. So I was taking the art supply truck to the depo and I had this crazy idea. Let's sprinkle his ass...with confetti paper. Well
WLTwitch
Little do you know, SilverMan. I have put iznc oxide into your silver body paint. As you slather your body with this lethal concoction, your body will absorb the zinc oxide and you will die before you finish applying the paint to your 3rd 4th and 5th
brknlocket79
And thank you to cracked.com for letting the rest of us know that there are worse jobs one can have than "ass-cheek-sprinkler".
DesertEagle
What I'd like to know is this: Did the photographer catch this by luck, or did he follow these two guys into the bathroom with his camera to capture this moment on purpose?
PitScorpion
yeah joe, there is totally a little bit or radiation on your right thigh, how'd that get there?
Mattybo
A look of horror came across Steve's face as he realized what he had just picked up.
fuckyoucracked
Jimmy's in the bathroom helping Kevin get ready for the bukkake scene with his Silver Surfer costume
vAzNKNiGHT
"I still think you should lose the panties, be a little ballsy for the showmanship!!.. Literally"
Legatto
Dave didn't know he was a ninja until he caught a missile shot from the evil robots ass...
Towie
Scientists work overtime in the "how-to-make-men-in-strings-look-less-ridiculous" project.
Joe Green
In order to prevent toilet rapes bill had to make the sodomy trap more convincing. . . . . .
sugreev2001
The Superhero part is Silver Surfer's day hob,this is where he works at night.
Shotgunbadger
Future mechanics' jobs actually get filthier with the outbreak of Robot Prostate Cancer.
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
Nov 22nd, 2009 
Nov 21st, 2009 
Nov 20th, 2009 
Nov 19th, 2009 
Nov 18th, 2009 
Nov 17th, 2009 
Nov 16th, 2009 
Nov 15th, 2009 
Nov 14th, 2009 
Nov 13th, 2009 
Nov 12th, 2009 
Nov 11th, 2009 
Nov 10th, 2009 
Nov 9th, 2009 
Nov 8th, 2009 
Nov 7th, 2009 
Nov 6th, 2009 
Nov 5th, 2009 
Nov 4th, 2009 
Nov 3rd, 2009 
Nov 2nd, 2009 
Oct 31st, 2009 
Oct 30th, 2009 
Oct 29th, 2009 
Oct 28th, 2009 
Oct 27th, 2009 
Oct 26th, 2009 
Oct 25th, 2009 
Oct 24th, 2009 
Oct 23rd, 2009 
Oct 22nd, 2009 
Frigga 
MasterBates 
jsrduck 
pottman8 
DrTom 
technotard 
Why 
Linux fan 
Mr.Birchfield 
VP_TheGirl 
fairies74 
shaf 
bobducks 
pirate 
jtklove 
P2M 
jessen 
Dr.Pepper 
capricia13 
gigglepie 
Ish 
thecatlady 
Ed_Gein 
Daniel_Garcia 
kidtatious 
zero82 
Ledouche 
Stretch 
RIJeep84 
War8nt 
MightyMike 
Satana 
kiddo 
Wileypube 
Chojinra 
Halgy 
Animantis 
Thermador 
queenarcoleptia 
mexgeo86 
iowawarlock 
rustytrombone 
sgt.mcnasty 
Shaner 
Duck 
nerdy1 
Gann 
Sourcookies 
unclemandingo 
colin_in_sick 
jammanl 
esseestpercipi 
haribo 
UncleBear 
YogSothoth 
RedBaron 
montanaguy 
wickedspork 
ikeable 
Seekertickets 
winkle 
Toga121 
Krahnage 
hoochiscrazy 
Batman? 
Nicktastic 
stapleears 
Meg22 
kshipley 
Plaidrabbit 
bigballs 
fricky109 
laos 
RodJaynes 
Thirsty Pony 
Tommyg 
MillsC9 
darthbogus 
James Kent 
topher 
gamma_ray 
roswel 
DogHat 
SilverFox 
AtxAxLoss 
biggoughknew 
len3001 
holeintheboxers 
RedBarchettaYYZ 
FuryofSinzy 
Xerodo 
Mr.Lumberjack 
tshp 
DarkandUnatural 
Crews 
SandwichMan 
uzielis 
G1drake 
wolfman_201 
shin0bi 
BeckiMars 
ringslinger 
