Cheekstheclown
Let's sit in the back row, but not next to each other, people might think we're f*gs.
fastolaf
Little Tammy gasped in horror. It was the water spout that killed her family and now it was back for her.
darthtanion
Those safety harnesses aren't as effective as they used to be... originally the ride was full.
SBTL
Kids in detention weren't allowed bathroom breaks and forced to watch a water show.
Wazula
"So. Where first? The Batman ride? The Raging Bull? Superman?" "How about the water watching ride?" "Okay!"
joeyblaze
....this prevented the audience watching twilight from escaping after the opening credits
RileyHart
From the David Hernandez lows to the Daughtry..."Highs" (I guess), the American Idol roller coaster was a huge success.
dying_in_back
Ride the Blue Ball, an adrenaline-filled two hours of forward reclining on your junk.
Hank
Amid ongoing controversy, President-elect Obama decided to subject College Football pollsters to a rigorous battery of testing before allowing them to choose a BCS Champion
sofaking
Engineers instantly realized the fatal flaw in the design of their coaster. They only designed the seats.
Leaf
Drowning is the most unlikely way to die on a roller coaster. Still... it happens...
fthrud
Kid's dreaded attending Suri Cruise's birthday party with the Scientology Roto-Baptism ride.
DangerousBob
Soviet Water Fountain "I SAID DRINK THE WATER! YOU THERE STOP MESSING WITH YOUR RESTRAINTS!"
NotMike
In a new, twisted form of torture, children are strapped into chairs and forced to watch adults toss coins into a fountain.
Dragonman
The new High School Musical Experience at Disneyland uses state of the art exoskeletons to help even the most talentless kid perform his or her favorite scene form any of the 3 movies.
Wazula
"Valuable America, You say that we are insanity, the hypothesis which re-is fixed. This image is German. Have sexual intercourse. Including sincerity, Japan."
beankarl
Local children awaiting release from Disneyland's latest moneymaking strategy: "Held for Ransom: The ride"
Spirolli
I didn't expect the Graceland Institute for Higher Learning was such a literal title.
faith229
Its nice that they made a memorial of all the people who got scared to death on the top of the ride....even if it does lose them a lot of business.
repeatoffender
Little did timmy know that THIS roller coaster came with an "unhappy ending"
darkwolf
FIrst human testing of the "Mass Water Torture " machine. Coming soon to a prison near you.
Swaimfan
One of the curious subclauses in proposition 8 left the carnival with no choice but to segregate the rides.
sofaking
No one thought getting sprayed in the face by high powered hoses would catch on, but it did.
Tranorix
The few remaining survivors know it is too early to celebrate, for the only way down is blocked by water spikes.
Swaimfan
In Disney's new ride, the thirsty children get slammed into the water jets, the desperate women get slammed into single men.
kirpuff
"Still don't want to tell me who pulled the fire alarm?...well Principal Bond has ways of making you talk..."
sofaking
These children are actually watching Tub Girl the Musical. I know what you're thinking...the seats are a little strange.
Leaf
It's actually an extremely scary ride. They even provide bidets at the end in case you shit yourself.
beatcamel
Nsync The Ride offers everyone the chance to feel sick, out of place and completely ridiculous.
Swaimfan
After having spent all his money on the baseball cap, Jake couldn't afford the water ride. And that made him sad.
Tittysprinkles
This isn't funny. All those empty seats. Can't you see that we are in a depression?
haefi
Due to defective seatbelts at the end of the ride only half of the seat were still taken.
Swaimfan
Up til then the girls were having a great time, but unfortunately severe aquaphobia caused Brenda to age 47 years in 30 seconds.
lycia
the only thing billy liked about this ride was that within 10 seconds no one would be able to tell that he peed himself
englishfreak
Disney's new "Rock and Roll Sedate the Child and Send Them to a Watery Grave" ride is gaining in popularity. However, they clearly still need work on the name.
BillyZRay
This is what happens when Universal Studios bases rides on M. Night Shyamalan movies.
lycia
martha tried ever so hard to be hip, not only did she dye her hair purple, but she went on the ride that all the cool cats talked about aswell
bobleponge
The Bellagio decides to cash in on the newest Vegas trend: everything is rollercoasters.
haefi
That basecap-dude in the lower left corner didn’t even saw his early decapitation coming.
Black_spiral
Sooooooooo, anyone has an idea of how this ride work....and why are we butt naked?
bobleponge
And then, in the middle of the ride, the blonde kid saw the janitor that had killed his father all those years ago.
mcrsux23
if you fall u die if u stay u die if u dont die u become angelina jolie's new kid
julesrules
"It puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose" Great gift idea for the busy serial killer in your life!
DorianGrey
And, as the poor children waited for the streams of flesh-searing acid to end their suffering, they all regretted ever having tried to get their ball back from the flamboyant next door neighbor's yard.
Vasher666
With modern technology cannibals of New Guinea can now deep fry numerous children nuggets at once.
aaronboz
blondie doesn't think the ride is enjoyable...blondie thinks his time would be best spent on his xbox
HardcoreMax
Little did they know that what was spraying up at them was petrol, and the ride attendant had just lit a cigarette...
Kyrzarx
You'd be bored too if all there was to do is hang around and watch water splash about.
Wazula
Welcome to Catholic Land! Come for the mass baptisms! Stay for the constant rape of minors!
Finto
While the rest of the occupants were being thrilled by the roller coaster Frank(top left) was enjoying a quiet prayer
Finto
come on, really! how did that guy with the blond hair get a boner on a ride like that?!
lord.henry
Guantanamo Bay Amusement Park "Hey Kids! Who says water-boarding can't be fun?!"
Zevorick
I don't know about you, but that white guy in the Billboard is giving me a stiffy.
Dy-no-mite!
Tragically, the newest ride was so extreme, not even the creators knew how to work it.
spacecadet
At the ball park they decided to take out the top row of seats because spectators kept falling out of them.
jdktheone
"Remember kids, if you're gonna hurl, try your best to avoid the new expensive fountains. Thaanks."
Fatsackoherb
Desperate for money, Lions Gate finally sold the rights to Final Destination 5 to a desperate high-school fan who proceeded to make the movie with a cast consisting of those who came to Six Flags on the second day of the Family Reunion
Da_Mad_Hatter
as you can see Mr bond, the death whales send up a spurt of water before they kill.
montanaguy
Today the white house released the first pictures from inside in guantanamo bay. The president was quoted as saying "See just a lil texass style waterboardin' what's the big deal"
Batman?
Jim sat there in blind horror. It was a tough choice. Be involved in a mass drowning, or sit through a live performance of High School Musical
Jarhead
It went into the dark tunnel full, but when it came out it was obvious to all that Michael Jackson's rollercoaster had mysteriously "misplaced" a few more kids.
st.chamomile
Remember when you said that we would have a good time coming here? Well you know what? You lied.
LlamaLad
School Safety is important, but the Water Fountain Harness shows the Pendulum has swung too far in one direction...
clarkwgrisworld
I told you the "Inspirational Wall and Tiny Fountains" ride would suck! I TOLD YOU!
booyaa
Please look at the person on your right... and your left... at least one of those people are extremely ugly
booyaa
we are not responsible for personal injuries, lost or stolen items/virginity, or any other horrible injury that could occur on this ride
bydonn
"Jaaaaaaaane!! get me off this crazy thing!!" Reference to the Jetsons, remember....? Oh, like anything else is so much funnier.
bydonn
"________________________" (Insert some lame caption here) ...cuz I got nothing.....
vAzNKNiGHT
Psst Frank.. Maybe we'll pass through the water and people can't tell that we pissed our pants.
mxmstrmel
"... and then I told Sally 'Those are my books' and grabbed them and... JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THEY'RE TURNING THE ACID SPRAYS ON AGAIN!!!"
cutslasher
Charlie and Daniel didn't feel comfortable at the Gay and Lesbian Carnival...
Adwhite1
Although rare, the emo in its natural habitat may sometimes discover non-conformism before black hair dye.
princess4evr
Sooo....I think that there's a really small chance of us getting wet... Seeing as we're in the corner and a majority of the je....... Shit son.
SerenityBlue
The Highschool Musical ride in Disney Land is apparently just as exciting as the movies.
monroeyoder
Is that not an ultra-young Ted in the back row, of 'Excellent Adventure' fame?
monroeyoder
(Rah, I can't believe I fucked that up, I'll try again) Isn't that an ultra-young Bill in the back row, of 'Excellent Adventure' fame?
monroeyoder
Frank: Ok Max, time to pressure clean the rides! Max: Frank, it's midday, there are still people in these rides... Frank: HahahaHA! HaHA! Mmm.
WLTwitch
The Japanese craze has finally come to America. Prepare for MOPU (Massive Outdoor Public Urinal)
ArthurSpeakman
I just upvoted all the one vote submissions to two votes. You're welcome, random Cracked Readers.
corvetteken
Micheal Jackson sees its almost time to re-stock the vending machine at the ranch
manleyart
That's it sir, Greenpeacers are in place. We just a few more PETA folks and we're ready to begin the procedure.
xxxero
almost half of the people who left on the roller coaster made it to the end. not a bad ratio!
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
Nov 21st, 2009 
Nov 20th, 2009 
Nov 19th, 2009 
Nov 18th, 2009 
Nov 17th, 2009 
Nov 16th, 2009 
Nov 15th, 2009 
Nov 14th, 2009 
Nov 13th, 2009 
Nov 12th, 2009 
Nov 11th, 2009 
Nov 10th, 2009 
Nov 9th, 2009 
Nov 8th, 2009 
Nov 7th, 2009 
Nov 6th, 2009 
Nov 5th, 2009 
Nov 4th, 2009 
Nov 3rd, 2009 
Nov 2nd, 2009 
Oct 31st, 2009 
Oct 30th, 2009 
Oct 29th, 2009 
Oct 28th, 2009 
Oct 27th, 2009 
Oct 26th, 2009 
Oct 25th, 2009 
Oct 24th, 2009 
Oct 23rd, 2009 
Oct 22nd, 2009 
Oct 21st, 2009 
Plan B 
Truthiness 
TheGuy185 
DrTom 
wamsachel 
Iapyx 
MillsC9 
HamBaconEgg 
James Kent 
Yarock 
Ish 
Misterberu 
Ravenholm 
mactheknife 
chris98383 
novikov 
maitresse73 
Dick_Johnson 
Jaimetown 
scoobybass 
Linux fan 
Nottoohappy 
Meg22 
cowgirl14 
whiskeyandink 
Fkelleghan 
haribo 
Golem 
azrulshahimy 
Pieisgoood 
iowawarlock 
KillDrone 
SilverFox 
Dondeadpool 
greencode 
wrathofgod72 
Zaria79 
Kakoo 
theg-ram 
BigT 
scarfyrre 
roswel 
spiderdude007 
Wugmanmax 
P2M 
Seekertickets 
Gandark 
Jumpfo 
Izlude 
Crews 
drifter1717 
InTheDuck 
Spamman 
BNLboy 
Spoopark 
Lion822 
HelperMonkey 
tondreilla 
Sanjuro 
sugreev2001 
uzielis 
zip5000 
Kenjamin 
Cap 
icemanx 
babsbunny 
Rex-Jester 
