"Umm... can I get a scoop of potato salad... some of the tuna casserole... and... what the hell, let's go crazy; a slice of the alien skull. To-go please."
I know Dairy Queen has a cake for every occasion, but what the hell is this for?
'Mr. Kraken Head', the Icelandic response to 'Mr. Potato Head' fell vastly shy of the marketing success it had set out to be.
Can I get a ham sandwich with a side of...hmm...do you have anything that's gibbous, eldritch and non-Euclidean?
Most people just assumed Frosty melted when the sun came. The truth was far more sinister.
If you add yeast to a cake, it'll rise. If you add too much yeast, it'll rise from the dead!
Before he became a barber,he was known as 'Sweeny Todd...The Demon Baker of Fleet Street'
Pig snouts molded in lard under glass? Must be Thanksgiving at the Clinton Presidential Library.
"Battle not with butter, lest ye become a butter, and if you gaze into the butter, the butter gazes also into you." - Nietzsche
"I heard something about never putting one of these in the microwave ... I don't remember. Probably just an urban legend anyway."
arnold schwarzenegger found it hard to hide his body heat in Predator 4: The grocery holocaust
"I'll take a half pound of Swiss, a pound of Salami and HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??"
So if I put the death mask there, then where did I put the potato salad?
How many times have I told you? no! *smack* vegetables! *smack* in! *smack* the! *smack* shaving cream! Ugh! you always have to ruin things for me!
Ever since Close Encounters, Richard Dreyfuss has been doing fucked up stuff with his mashed potatoes!
MMMM... I love Thanksgiving at my Grandma's. The veggie dip facial casts are the best!
The real way Ursula died that was not mentioned in today's Cracked article.
How much is that head-thingy in the window? That one with the waggly tentacles?
I knew the food at school was bad when I asked my friend "Where's Steve?" and my cream cheese shuddered like it was trying to get my attention.
The reflection proves that at least one person found the new Merman exhibition outside the Tate gallery interesting
Without legs, Marvin could only stare through the window as all his friends ran and played.
Not your parents erotic bakery eh? That's for damn sure, they aren't twisted enough to find THAT erotic!
This is what the Floss got out of the Japanese dude's teeth. I guess his dad was right!
The phantom of the fridge envied the glamorous life of his cousin in the opera house
It wasn't until Ed Gein brought out the dessert that Officer Kelly suspected something was up...
Ordering off the menu sir? Well, I do think the chef can whip up something special just for you.
Oh, so you're the ghost of Christmas Future? Good, I just shat out your old pal Ghost of Christmas Past about 20 minutes ago.
"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya."
Paul the pastry thought he might be going crazy... Luckily, he had his tinfoil hat on.
I had no time to eat dinner AND dessert, so why not combine them to make crab merangue cake!
Sadly, after thousands of man-hours went into the search of the arctic circle, all they were able to recover of Dr. Zoidberg was his decapitated head.
Lunch Lady: "So, this is our Special today. Want a slice?" Timmy: "Ummmmm, what else do you have?" Lunch Lady: "Steak and Kidney pie." Timmy: "I'll have the special!"
GODDAMMIT FRANK! WHY DOES SUPPER ALWAYS HAVE TO BE TURNED INTO A FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!
And then the children realized why ding dong ditching the demented baker isn't safe.
What happened to Ursula after "The Little Mermaid"? Korean Wedding Catering
holy shit!!! that pasta has been there way to long it's starting to grow a head
One look in the cold, dark eyes, and you'll be wanting to take that thing home and serve it up.
John decided to take Kate out for a nice dinner to celebrate. Little did she know it would ...POSSESS HER SOUL!!!
that is sooo gross.....i hate cream cheese lets go get our shrunken else where
Say what you like about the music, there's no denying that the artwork for the new Guns-n-Roses album "Chinese Democracy" is depicts the victims of said-democracy fucking well.
Funny, this isn't how I originally pictured Walt Disney's frozen skull to look.
The potato salad could only sit there looking out with a quiet longing. Death would surely come before long.
Few people knew of the tragic end that befell Cthulu's Antarctic cousin, Frankthulu.
Life did not treat the State Puff Marshmellow Man well after the glory of Ghostbusters faded.
Then we have the popular growing Octapussy Creampie, if you really want to show your date a good time
Your Halloween Recipes don't always get eaten in a timely manner...then what do you do?
Ok I'l have a pound a pastrami, some gorgonzola cheese....and...ummm...the elephant mans skull.
I take it my recipe for Octopus Skull-Headed Calliflower with Cherry Filling was delicious?
How Hannibal Lector lost his job at the catering company, and his food handler's license, in one moment.
Ever since Squidbillies premiered, Bob has to wear a mask when he goes out in public.
Leading Evolutionists believe the alleged "Snow-Demon" evolved in your local freezer section, as it blended in there better than in the actual snow.
In Japan, kids don't look for monsters under their beds, it's the Deli cases.
Krang Cakes were the least popular of the TMNT Merchandise, and thus have been shelved for the remainder of eternityyyy
SALADIOS, SON OF SAND-WITCH, LORD OF MAYONOISE MALICE, HORN OF HERBS, ERADICATOR OF EATING, HUNGERS!
...and then my crack rock grew tentacles and ate all of the potato salad.
Vinnie ignored the tearful pleas of his creamcheese crab creature, and stuffed it in the chilled display case. It was an action Vinnie would someday regret...
I think the cheese has gone bad...and by "bad" I mean it has developed sentience and gone on a killing rampage.
Maniacal Baker: "It's all fun and games till someone grinds your bones into dust and then shapes the remnants into a skull."
If only that idiot listened to me when, "I TOLD HIM TO FLOSS HIS FUCKING TEETH."
Power Rangers Frozen Force Episode #32: Okay, we've officially run out of ideas.
This might look like a face to some, but in reality, you're looking up into a sculpture of Michael Jackson's nose. Yup, veins and all.
Our top story tonite- a cannibalistic medusa was arrested at the Publix grocery store in Scranton this evening. Suspicions were aroused when patrons began disappearing and strange food items were being displayed in the deli.
"that was great honey, what's for dessert?" "how about I give you some head?" "GREAT!!!"
Phil Hartman: "I want to rip your eye from it's socket and make love to your skull."
Don't you think your spy-tool is a little...conspicious? No trust me, they make these pastries in France all the time.
I didn't start crying until I noticed the tentacle type things hanging off its face. NOW I CAN'T STOP.
The Jeffry Dahmer Edition of the Easy Bake Oven was an idea whose time had come.
The Japanese cake adaption of the Phantom of the Opera looked how we all expected it to.
You know you're a crappy cook when your sour cream dip suffers from depression.
Screw it, I'm eating it. Office policy is 'if there's no name it's fair game'.
To combat the obesity epidemic authorities mandate that all ice cream products be molded into horrifying shit.
"You seriously mixed carrots with a key lime pie? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
A delicacy enjoyed by soldiers of Earth while fighting the Flood hordes. The "Testi" is commonly prepared by first coating in flour and spices before going into the fryer.
Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by
If there's something strange in the neighborhood Who ya gonna call?.... SPUDBUSTERS
Cell phone radiation accelerated evolution in ways no one could possibly have anticipated.
I've seen it in many sick anime, but I never thought I would see the day where "Skull-tentacle fucking" actually existed.
The pastry-like head just wanted to prove to people that it had a heart. But most people just ran screaming at the sight of his legs
Mr. Mashed-Potato Head fell horribly short of the standards that his predecessor had set.
An alternative career in the deli arts is one option for special effects lay-offs
Baked Alaska = Good. Alaska King crab = Good. Therefore Baked Alaska King Crab will be amazing. What do you mean its not selling?
The advertising budget for the Phantom of the Opera has diminshed over the years.
Hmm, I'll just have 1lb. of the abominibal snow jerkey, oh is that a paper machet teletubby head?.., I'll have one of those, hold the assorted chili peppers.
I don't know about you, but i think this would go perfectly with a goblet of dragon's blood!
Happy birthday, Jason Voorhes! As a present, we'll ruin your franchise even further!
"Welcome our dinner specials are Mashed Potatos, Spinach Pie, and Demon head" "What was that last one?" "Spinach Pie..."
I have no idea what it is, but it ate my worm and I sure as hell wasn't throwing it back.
"Daddy, whats that?" "That my son is whats waiting for you if you engage in premarital sex!"
The tudou loading page mascot. If you got that, congratulations on your virginity.
In the original cut Ray was thinking about the Stay puft marshmellow man...and his favorits H.P. Lovecraft Story.
Forget about the upper half of a white man's head, whats with the leaches? Is it just me, or is he being eaten by leaches as we look?
Frosty regrets his decision to become a chef when the restaurant he works at starts selling snow cones.
I hate having Thanksgiving at Grandma's. She always makes some weird shit that freaks me out.
Cthulhu will be furious once he finds out he is not sleeping in Rlyeh´anymore
Jim thought about how he could get revenge on Bill for tipping his tray last week. Seeing as how as how Bill was a crab inthusiast Jim decided to make a crab cake filled with Naga Jolokai peppers and M-80 firecrackers.
Funny thing is someone was actually proud of enough of it to think that it deserved to be put on display. Fool.
let that be a message to all of the mutated sea creatures for eating all of my fuckng pasta........whats that? he's a scuba diver?!?! quick someone hide the head!!
I'm more unnerved by whatever that is on the top shelf. Looks like a miniature Golgothan Shit Demon.
"Don't play with you potatoes Jimmy. Stop playing with your food." I'll show you. I'll show them all. Mwahahahaha.
I've been charging 5 bucks a head for these Flying Spaghetti Monster quacks to check out my fridge.
Cthulu never thought he'd be reminded of the night he got really drunk and fucked his cottage cheese.
You know what they say about playing with your food...LIVE FROM NEW YORK IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!
The medical examiner just couldn't figure out what had caused Rachel Rea's heartattack.
"Alright kids, this is a white blood cell...do you know who doesn't have any of these? Thats right Billy! Magic Johnson is the correct answer"
Before starting a new death trap, Jigsaw was scared to see his puppet was melting.
George Lucas is working on Indy 5. Indiana Jones and the Pastry Case of the Meringue Skull...someone for the love of god stop that man!
I always get my cheeses from George's, he's the best cream cheese carver in town!
After the economic meltdown, Krang had to leave the Technodrome and take up a lowely job as a deli clerk to make ends meet.
Some people were admitted to the Insane Asylum for more mundane reasons than others.
You call that a self-portrait in food? You got the mustache all wrong! I'm not paying a cent!
The whole staff agreed it was time for Billy to be institutionalized after his latest...'creation.'
Not content with simply killing their arch nemesis Dr. Mario, the viruses felt the need to cover him in meringue and display his various parts in their pastry shoppes. The red viruses voted against this, and their treasonous acts led to their becomi
Frosty!?... Wh-What are you doing here? I told you I'd be back again someday, didn't I? Now WHERE'S MY MONEY!?
Most People just don't understand this poor, misunderstood French Pastry Spirit.
The local football's team's mascot had been retired to the back of your Refrigerator for 30 years, yet you can still here it pleading for it's life whenever you reach in the back for the tomatoe.
Choco-thulu and the Mountains of Deliciousness proved, yet again, to be Dairy Queen's weakest-selling item.
Lance Armstrons left nut is the top choice for winning the Iron Nut contest this year.
Dave, Stop sticking your dick in the mashed potatos. I told you twice already its not that kind of party.
You may not know, but Octopuses grow hair on all their body and they spend big time on shaving cream.
All new menu item at the Area-51 Cafe, Alien-head-flavored butter spread!! Goes great with the martian flavored bagles...
God dammit, Richard Dreyfuss is sculpting his mashed potatos again. Everyone get out your 80s era keyboard and light systems!!
A reconstituting Cthulhu slowly emerges from the salmon moose tin in the display chiller at Jeremy's deli.
A rare delicacy, The "Testi" from the Flood species is coated in a blend of flour and spices before it goes into the fryer.
The Annual Cthulhu cake contest only had 1 entry this year from a very amateur baker
The official "eat food that looks like an alien month" promotion didn't turn out to be as successful as the supermarket executive board had hoped.
it's all that's left of Fred Savage's sidekick in 'Little Monsters' - crawled out from underneath Michael Jacksons bed an his soul was sucked out from his rectum - Bubba Ho-Tep was a popular rental this week.
In its attempts to hide himself from those pesky kids, Frosty the Snowman dismembered himself and scattered his remains across various Mongolian restaurants
This is how bad crabs can get. Let this be a lesson to you all, she may be hot as hell, but dammit, people, stay the fuck away from Lindsay Lohan.
Honey sorry I stuck my dick in your cake but hey it sorta looks like a face now.
Disney's newest idea didn't pan out as well as previous Ugly Duckling style stories. Something about giving children nightmares about white spiders with massive heads...
Aquaman's version of Phantom of the Opera was rudely interrupted by a Japanese fisherman. Aquaman will make sure they pay dearly.
ok ok who put the satan head cheese ball next to the key lime pie??? I mean seriously people...
I’ve hardly spoken the words when, with a whoosh, my table is enclosed in a darkened room, lit by candles and a snapping, hissing fireplace. An incredibly gorgeous woman in a long black satiny dress glides from the shadows and sits opposite me. Spark
Most boys want a Batman or Spider-man themed birthday party. Mikey's preference leaned more towards Lovecraft.
"Will cross-breeding abonimable snowman and crabs make good food? Fuck it we're selling it"
Frosty's head was shown on display in the village bakery to serve as a warning to other snowmen rapscallions.
Baskin-Robbins Ice SCREAM Cake!! OOoooooooohhhhhhhHH!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
"Dude, don't ever look in your girlfriends refrigerator.... she was some really weird shit in there.."
When her "Warden Smith Bust" entry took second place to Martha Stewart in the 2006 women's prison bake-off, Large Marge knew that the bitch needed a good broom-stick fucking....
"Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday, dear Cthulhu, Happy birthday to you!"
sure this particular food choice looks scarey, but the tuna surprise was everyones biggest fear
Those guys at ABC will do anything to keep us tuning in for the next episode of "Lost."
The Ghostbusters decided to preserve the remains of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man as a warning for any future ghosts to stay the fuck outta New York.
The cleverly disguised severed head of little Charlie served as a warning to all students. Do not make fun of the cafeteria lady's mustache.
ah crap. take out the old potatoes, theyve stopped with the eyes, but now theyre growin em tentacles
I know I'm not gonna beat Truthiness' craption. So i guess i'll do this. [insert funny craption here]
Despite viscious rumors to the contratry, Cthulu was quite adorable at a young age.
Okay,no more cream cheese heads. Its been a week and we're only half way through it.
The economic slow down is hurting everyone, especially the Jim Henson Company.
This has nothing to do with JJ Abrams new Star Trek, nothing at all, but it might make a cameo on Lost.
haha stupid pastry monster... now your trapped and i have your magic flute!!!! THE WORLD IS MINE!
It may look small now, but the Great Spaghetti Monster will rise again...around puberty...
Walt Disney bought out a frosted miny wheats plant in central america, and look what happened.
Combining the worst parts of the latest Indiana Jones movie, George Lucas markets "refrigerator alien skulls".
Wanting to have sex with this is, ironically, scientifically classified as "FUCKED IN THE HEAD". Go figure.
Cheese ball, Schmeese ball...I'm NOT bringing that to Aunt Mildred's for Thanksgiving!
Im even more terrified to think of what could possibly be under the aluminum foil on the shelf above. *shivers*
The Snow Crab Phone proved not to be nearly as popular as the Hamburger Phone.
Sneak peak into the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie...prop of Krang.
Little do people know what happens to their shaving cream when they carelessly flush it into the sewers and it is allowed to accumulate.
Whatever the hell that is in the cooler is not nearly as scary as whatever the hell that is reflected right below it!
NEW LIMITED TIME ONLY!!! Half a head of a bearly pubecent decendent of posieden only $39.99! Free wraith of the gods for every HaHoBPD sold!!!!!
"Frosty Dahmer's refridgerator was discovered full of the decapitated remains of his victims today."
You know those worms inside the mighty Hunters from Halo? This is their day job...
It was days like this that made Mr. Lovelace second-guess his dream of running the Cthulu Deli.
So then I cut off the top of the Statue of Liberty's head and placed it upside down in this pan. Best part? It looks like a Chinese Frosty the Snowman!
Frosty stared out of his prison cell at the man who had cut him down that day. One day, he would steal back the magic hat and dance around again, and then he'd cut that mofo's head off. Yeah.
Gotta hide! gotta hide! Hmm yes, i'll hide right in here by the potatoes, yes. Quick!, stick some orange things in the side there, Hurry! gotta look like a potato, ya ya some red thingys in front. perfect, perfect. Close my eyes? Leave them open? I d
Happy Birthday, Cthulhu... Happy Birthday, Cthulhu... Happy Birthday, Dread Cthulhu, Lord of the Dark City of R'lyeh... Happy Birthday to you!
Little did they know that an evil pillsbury doughboy octopus was ready to eat the next hand to reach inside!
PETA's lobster empathy centre became a lot more disturbing when they hired Damien Hirst.
After the accident, there was no way to save his body but they could at least save his brain. Unfortunately they stored it in a delicatessen cooler and someone bought half of him for $4.95 a pound.
This is an artist's way of saying that the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was cheesy
Slorth chuckled at the strange misshapen creatures milling around his new strategic command centre. Winter would be here soon, and then they would pay...
http://papenss.blogspot.com/2008/11/ground-paintings-amazing.html Ground Paintings - AMAZING
http://papenss.blogspot.com/2008/11/commercial-for-brave-people.html Commercial For Brave People!!!!!
http://papenss.blogspot.com/2008/11/feminine-minigolf-hole.html Feminine MiniGolf Hole
http://papenss.blogspot.com/2008/11/mirror-image-perceptions.html Mirror Image Perceptions
http://papenss.blogspot.com/2008/11/new-burger-king-item.html New Burger King Item
You think thats gross? There's a pile of shit on the shelf above it. Yours for $5.
Garfield's remake of "The Creature That Lived in the Refrigerator, Behind the Mayonnaise, Next to the Ketchup, and to the Left of the Cole Slaw"
"whats on the dessert menu" "This alien skull" "helllllllllllll no" "our a homade" "on secound thought the skull"
Okay. Call me crazy, but I am pretty sure that crab has two vaginas... Do I have to use both?
In America, crabs is a nuisance of a disease... In mother Russia, it's a delicacy
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