GaseousClay
The problem with Chinese choking is, a half hour later you feel like you need to be choked again.
hiwata
God dammit! This is not what I expected when you said you were going to poke me with your rod! This is lame...
lichen
In Japan, every T.V. show requires at least one cute Japanese girl for every two guys doing something borderline gay.
GaseousClay
Now are you gonna wear the LiveStrong bracelet, or am I going to have to keep "inspiring" you.
gamefreakjohnny
When I said, "Don't tase me, bro." I didn't mean that i preferred to be poked in the back of a head with metal rods
QuickWit
Boy... laws about wearing white after labor day are strictly enforced around here...
8ajl8
Pictured : Chinese man trying out his new chopsticks. He says "if i can pick up a human, i can pick up a chicken ball!"
Leaf
You need some leverage when you're stepping out of the back of your "Sexy Man" costume...
Iapyx
Acupuncture is for pussies. But, medicinal throat garroting, now there's an effective chronic pain therapy!
darkwolf
Now if Ive done this right, the head should come off and honor should be restored. If done incorrectly, cleanup in isle 2
DDdean
Hi im Terry Gilliam and I know alot of you Wont like this movie and if that is case its because your not looking at it through the innocence of a child's eyes :| thank you thank you thank you
dying_in_back
I don't know why we even bother. We're switching him over to HD in February anyway.
Fkelleghan
A general who became a slave. A slave who became a gladiator. A gladiator who defied a dentist.
Zaphod
Vader's daughter, Ling, didn't have the Force. So, to garner the same respect, she hired Lau to strangle people when she made the force-choke gesture.
Hank
unable to afford even the most humble means of transportation, Riksuki turned to his martial arts prowess to hitch rides
capricia13
... And with a slight twist of the wrist, you can ensure he never leaves the seat up again.
8ajl8
Pictured : Chinese trying out his new chopsticks. He says "if i can pick up a human, i can pick up a chicken ball!"
QWiber
I'm going to sit here and crap out craptions for about an hour until I come up with a funny one.
Gatt
Whatever it is, give it time...in a couple months, this game show will hit American TV's too.
jtklove
After his earlobes were released, he vowed he'd NEVER be a volunteer from the audience again.
Ellinikos
Tony's reaction to his girlfriend's pregnancy test result was unorthodox to say the least.
Riggz309
This is exactly why Indonesia's Cirque du Soleil, "Payne" never really took off.
Chojinra
Jun Lee wanted to help, but she really, really wanted to see him make a giraffe.
megaweege66
You want fuck my daughter? Let see how you like......honey get mt extra long chopstick.
mikeyscouse
doctor if i turn a round and thats not a rod in my ear im gonna fucking kill you...
lichen
My new cell phone doubles as a silicon sex doll. He can even catch FM radio if I can manage to pull out these darn antennas...
pharmmajor
And he's got Hiroshi down, but he needs to hogtie and brand him in less than eight seconds to take home a victory!
mrpeabody
"Happy birthday, honey!" "Oh wow! My own gimp! Thanks, sweetheart. This is the best birthday ever!"
Sporkicus
"Excuse me, sir... That looks like he's in an aweful lot of pain." "nonsense, he looks like that EVERYTIME we play this game!"
SlappyMcGee
Once Lito was distracted with pulling the two-headed tape worm out of Tran's mouth, Marlyn spotted her chance to give him a wedgie.
bilbo1
"Dude...keep doing your Harley Davidson impersonation. I think this chick is totally into bikers."
Fkelleghan
If the astronauts had had this guy along, they never would have lost that tool bag. What a shame.
frizzlefry
After the explosion of pop culture in japan, japanese hitman seem to be taken a less seriously.
Frigga
I think I need this translated, I don't have a clue.... What's it mean in English?
sutchy
Our female performer was constantly jerking off the giant invisible penis coming out of Chen's neck, so Chin decided it was time to end it.
technotard
The Indonesian Olympic opening ceremonies were nowhere nearly as impressive as the Chinese.
agalryunaer
Don't let the beast spread his wings!! Said Claire before her mushroom trip ended in shame
bobthecob
Good thing this isn't a craption because if it was a craption I would have no idea what to say because there is nothing to craption. So it's a good thing this isn't a craption.
zbeebs
All right, did everyone get that? Good! So, next, we'll learn how to incapacitate a man with metal rods coming out of his crotch.
Thermador
You know, I've seen the Japanese do some pretty weird stuff, so this isn't all that bad to me.
QWiber
Sharon was trying to tell Ling that that's the wrong way to give a handjob. You have to do this with your hand.
meat
"Then you pull the string and insert your leg, all the way up to the knee, into his anus."
Iapyx
North Korean spy assassins can always be spotted by their trademark stripped polos.
frizzlefry
bill soon realized that knowing karate was not an excuse to demonstrate it on anyone he wants to.
frizzlefry
whether your strangling someone to death or not, she still wont bang you, when you do it with a facial expression like that.
agalryunaer
After Mike woke up after the dart shot he was begging that was just a knee in his back
wamsachel
Singapore, famous for it's extreme punishments, demonstrates again what happens should you go to 1st base on the 1st date
getittwistd
"Mr. Tanaka's polo is in style, regardless of what anyone says! Say it, now bitch, Mr Tanaka's polo is in style, regardless of what anyone says! Don't make me sic Fujiko here on you!
MindPez
UFC World champion grappler Hoyce Gracie, did not expect this move by accupuncturist Wong Wang. He is rendered completely motionless by this technique and is unable to even tap out.
faith229
'Dude, do you mind not flossing/murdering/raping my boyfriend? You're rudely intruding on our disco!'
haefi
The election was already over when these pictures of Obamas involvement in Guantanamo became public.
Ellinikos
The Japanese Improv-Allstars' Ant-Man stage show didn't get the reviews they'd expected.
DirkBelig
He's wearing a Live Strong bracelet and a Swatch watch and he's upset that someone called him gay?!?
tovarish_stulov
No matter what Jerry did to get attention, all eyes were firmly planted on his girlfriend's tits.
mxmstrmel
Now that he's been elected, the next item in Obama's "bucket list" is enhancing his pain tolerance for the Kumite.
Hechtor31
You see, this is the proper way to ride a ninja. The reins are if he decides to fly away, which he is about to.
agalryunaer
If you think this is cruel, you don't wanna know where the invisible wire she is pulling goes...
Dr.Pepper
The Taiwanese version of "American Idol" was a little more harsh on its contestants.
ProZackT
After he cheated on her, Shu hired a hit man to kill her husband and showed him exactly how small she wanted his thin she wanted his neck to be when it was over
monkeyboy
as you can see not only is our string strong but it can also kill this man in 5 count them 5 seconds you can also use it to tie up the body bag when your done and only for 9.95 you will also get this invisible camera that my lovly assistant is holdin
carramrod
I'm really digging his white shoes. They go really well with the black pants and the little man stabbing him in the neck.
EvilGness
any guy trying to impress me by bending a metal bar with his neck must have a dick thiiiisss small.
megaweege66
....now yoo see when chang Appry pressure to points in neck, cho go hurdling to floor like little girl.
agalryunaer
In any minute now the beast is going to show us its true form Rosa, be patient. Just human? pff... don't be a noob
nervousnerd
God, I hope he tells us some secrets soon. We only have a couple more months before Cheney is out and this sort of thing is illegal. ...Plus I'm up for review next month.
megaweege66
....yeah as soon as you ready to cum I will let go of rope.....you ready?.........Chang I ask if you ready?
uff
Yuri's rage was uncontrollable, after he walked in on steve and his wife mid mid handjob
darthtanion
In order to impress the lady Sanjay knocked the nearest passer by to the ground, attached reins to him and convinced him he was a giant eagle meant for transporting humans on his back. Needless to say... she swooned.
ironslick
most tracheotomies are done from the front, but that is for panzies. let me show you how i do it.
Zaphod
I dub thee: Sir Garrotted! Arise... ARISE, DAMMIT!!... GET UP ALREADY!!.... hello?
ivecomehomenow
I told you I wanted this carpet fucking spotless, now suck up these crumbs with your mouth.
bydonn
Not wanting to look foolish in front of his assistant, Chow Lin the Great resorted to TWO magic wands.....
Leaf
If you want to get your ponytail cut off, make sure that you go to a professional barber!!
ScarlettOhara
Frustrated, Lo Pan ordered the 4th storm, "String," to finish off Jack Burton for good.
DamnitDog
Let me bend this one last time, UGGGGGHHHH there he should be able to pick up HD Radio now.
bydonn
"Now, who's a whore? HUH? HUH?" "Thank you, my brother, for protecting my honor." "Shut up, whore!" "Yes, brother..."
DamnitDog
I swear I didnt see you name on the bag. AAAaaaGGGgggHHHhhh, I wont eat your lunch again. I SWEAR.
DamnitDog
"YOU OWE ME TWO DOLLA. WHERE MY TWO DOLLA? I WANT MY TWO DOLLA NOW, NOT NEXT TUESDAY, TODAY"
bydonn
So, based on striped dude's facial expression, know we really where the scream on 'CSI: Miami' comes from....
Sporkicus
"Notice how his hand opens and closes as I rotate the amazing "Wonder Rod Mind Control Device".
connan
"Iron Chef Nakamura prepares today's secret ingredient for boiling." "Oh. He looks so tasty."
MenDAKE
You know you're playing too many video games when you squat down for a crap and out comes a Japanese girl in a mini skirt, and a murderous ninja.
DangerousBob
More evidence of Asian racism, here we have a man being forced to wear a harness as he is forced to also carry his new master to the market daily.
Wazula
-When can you be the motorcycle for a change? -Shut the fuck up. Chick at 8 o'clock.
MavericGamer
(guy on the ground) Now class, it may look like he is winning, but if you focus, and conserve your air by not taldhbbnshadsadgvx...... (guy with floss) Oh shit... (girl) So uh... who do I give the handjob to now?
daniel_ingels
Normally he would be masturbating, but the point is it's always safer with a spotter.
kinkkerbelle
Another Chinese citizen is reeducated after defying the decree that all people must wear loud and colorful shirts.
Actormd
The real secret to how the Chinese pulled off that amazing display at the Olympic games opening.
Jawzx1
Wait... There! Right there! Nevermind it went fuzzy agian. Yang try standing on his head.
stunspot
Ling sighed. "Just once it'd be nice to go out to the club with Tony and NOT wind up in this situation," she thought.
SHOTOVER
The only problem with the chinese frankenstein was that his bolts needed to be tightened often
Antihero79
That 1 out of 5 dentists that nobody ever listens to gets revenge by being recruited for Yakuza assassinations.
Xerodo
Relegated to F-list celebrity status after the nineties, Chun-li, Ryu, and Vega have been on the carnival sideshow circuit ever since.
nobody
Ok, I'm gonna kill this gay dude with a bad fashion sense and you pretend to masturbate an invisible dick. Get onto it.
Cheekstheclown
In China the men in polo shirts are a lot more dangerous than here in America.
Riggz309
Most of the dark humor was lost for the Vietnamese adaptation of the Dark Knight "magic trick" scene.
DirkBelig
I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all this. Don't know what it is, but there's gotta be one.
mabogo
....and for an additional 50 yuan, we can even install a bell on the handlebars.....Would you like to take it for a spin, Miss?
Bionic_Crouton
"Honey! Hold my imaginary purse while I choke this guy with a wire for wearing white shies after Labor day...."
agalryunaer
The attempts to make humans fly before the Wright brothers were not always very clever
lostprophet94
"Yoko,i don't like all this fetish-stuff you're into." "it's a real pain in the neck."
spoo
Well, he did warn the guy if he interrupted his putt-putt golf one more time he'd wrap the club around his neck...
mikeyscouse
it seems that even a street brawl will not sop a thai prostitute from approaching you for some sucky fucky..
mikeyscouse
that trick is amazing i mean it awsome and outstanding that girl is holding an invisible penis..
OlDirtyBen
His throat is full of God's love, that's why he can bend the bar. God's love is all in his throat.
agalryunaer
In Sophia and Jason's religion the "one who walks in white shoes" was known as the antichrist.
lichen
These new "Action Pwo" resistance bands are viwtually indestructible! Ratch closely as I stwangle this twained athlete to death with the wesistance bands and then use them to bind his giwlfwiend duwing the subsequent wape...
DamnitDog
"And once you have the victim pinned the next step is sodomy" "Oh, haha, you make it look so easy"
Sawyer
A demonstration of the latest chiropractic technique would leave at least several hundred people with a deep-set fear of rope and one man decapitated.
Zaphod
Wearing white shoes with black clothes? The Singapore Fashion Police are gunna fuck you up!!
DamnitDog
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, I WILL LOVE HIM AND SQUEEZE HIM AND CALL HIM GEORGE.
Sawyer
While Ken violently strangled the man with whom his girlfriend, Patricia, had been cheating on him, Patty couldn't help but notice how finely toned Ken's glutes were.
Zaphod
due to a mistranslation, many people choked to death from having performed on them the h-ima-dick maneuver
Sporkicus
"Now, run around in circles while we get schoolchildren to throw shiruken at you, and sing, really, really loudly. And you win a Vespa!"
bydonn
Suddenly, the crowds waiting for stores to open turn on each other, and Black Friday's eagerly awaited sales would take a back seat to a more tragic headline.....
Blackstone
"Johnny, your performance was very disappointing, you deserve to dieeeeeeeeeeeee"
fresnoGuillermo
Dude, just buy the digital converter, you're tv antenna's not gonna work next year
bydonn
Another criminal succumbs to The Maestro, and his Magic Batons, while his sidekick, Air Handjob Girl, looks on in amazement.
fresnoGuillermo
there is a sort of symmetry to this photo, it's like a jacked up o-pee-chee folder of the orient.
DScolpini
Rubber bands are a new deadly weapon and are soon being banned on all commercial airlines.
MavericGamer
The weird 2-man flossing team is interesting, but does anyone else notice that the woman behind them seems to be jerking off the air behind them?
Ewar
See, the woman just wants to tell them she's pregnant, but they're too rapped up in their stupid human rope tower game.
Seekertickets
After his son pissed on the rug, Huang low felt a direct aproach to toilet training was required.....
bilbo1
The new style of Japanese motorcycles just don't draw as many groupies as the prior models.
Fkelleghan
"Today we're going to show you eight silent ways to kill a man." The first line of Joe Haldeman's novel, The Forever War, remains classic. I didn't know they'd adapted it for stage.
bobleponge
As Chin stabbed Han in the neck with chopsticks, little did he know his assistant, Jin Liu, was about to stab him with her invisible knife.
mangoman23
"the magic in the BackBreaker 3000 technology lies in the string!" "no douche, you're standing on my back. ass."
-cyin
NO YOU SHITHEAD! That's not a 90 degree angle! I said to fucking bend it at a 90 DEGREE ANGLE, bitch!
Zrannis
Tim Burton's Pinocchio: Pinocchio becomes a real boy, and dies due to the sticks in his windpipe.
Gidge-lizard
No I in Threesome (come on there has to be some light hearted Interpol fans)
Mastika
http://papenss.blogspot.com/2008/11/beautiful-deepspace-object.html Beautiful DeepSpace Object
Mastika
http://papenss.blogspot.com/2008/11/this-picture-is-not-animated.html This Picture Is Not Animated - They Are Moving? -Or Not?
zekie123
"DOWN SEXY! BAD SEXY, NO! its allright every one. its undercontrol and i am currently bringing sexy back. back where he belongs. in his cage."
Mastika
http://papenss.blogspot.com/2008/11/deep-thoughts-to-fart-or-not-to-fart.html Deep Thoughts - To Fart Or Not To Fart?
Mastika
http://papenss.blogspot.com/2008/11/giant-sand-castle-miami.html Giant Sand Castle - Miami
Yinzer
*gack* Are you sure *gag* this is how *agh* autoerotic asphyxiation *wheez* is supposed to work?
MakeShift
Carla: "You know what you guys? Trying to make up a new sex position isn't working at all..."
spacecadet
The Kung Fu Osteopath and his comely assistant soon resolved the problem with Wang's back.
famajah
GODDAMMIT, LEE!! IF YOU DON'T FLOSS YOUR TEETH, I'LL FLOSS YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!!
nobody
Uh, is it just me or anyone noticed that the girl has her hands in a cock-grabbing position?
Bannedforlife
China Facebook BANNED,must Poke back in person!!!! .....but but he poked you last week.!!??
lychee
I wish I was auditioning for the chick role... At least he buys her dinner before throwing her around and choking her.
Crackednutter
This is why you NEVER get laid with a dentist's wife... well at least it wasn't a proctologist....
smilingphantom
Dr. Chan always loved a challenge. Here we see him performing a root canal from behind the patient, in the middle of an airport
Syko
Once the probe has been inserted, earwax can be removed with a gentle 'back and forth' stabbing motion.
gmoney8
Jim may have been a homicidal lunatic, but he always wore his Livestrong bracelet to show his sensitive side.
Xsin13
When tightening the bolts in the neck of your vietnamese Frankenstein be sure to use the long wrenches to avoid the mouth.
ZananIV
Behold this lovely Asian Couple taking their Martial Arts Movie Villian for a walk. HAHA, down boy!
ZananIV
15 Years Later: Hey Sally, tell us that story about your Bachlorette Party again?
ZananIV
Mortal Kombat is an effective way of discipling the men in your life, according to some sources.
ZananIV
"You, my son, shall be punished for your lack of sleeves!!!! GRAHHH!!!" "But her skirt is much...!" "Quiet, Infidel!"
ZananIV
You've got something in your teeth, let me help you with that. With these hi-larious large chopsticks!
ZananIV
This man just had to to make sure potential suitors could defend his daughter on dates, by ANY MEANS neccesary.
ZananIV
My new razor wire can cut a perfect circular hole in this wall, slice this man's head in half, and can be easily cleaned with a common dishtowel.
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