Aes
Julio crosses himself, thanking the patron saint of "don't put all your eggs in one basket".
bcanders
The hero drove into town, his vanquished foes on display. The villagers knew that now, after years of terror, they were finally safe at night.
Dr.Pepper
It could automatic... It could be...hydromatic... It could be GEESE LIGHTNING!
JawnEmaculation
It's my birthday today, and for my my birthday, I think I should win the caption contest.
girlover
Tim was often plagued by horrible gas. The embarrassment he suffered every time one squeaked out was awful. But today was different, today he had a plan ...
satur92002
When John accidentally crashed into an oncoming truck, 20 pillows were instantly made.
Mr_Warmth
The Cambodian version of Seven Brides For Seven Brothers was a little different. The were 14 brides and only one brother. And the brides were ducks and the brother was actually a wok.
phreesh
After the accident, when the doctor asked him he didn't duck, Wong strangled him.
DrTom
Unfortunately, Andy was hard of hearing and though he had been called a "Mother Ducker".
Swaimfan
It had been two years to the day since Alfonso ate those duck eggs. He had hardly given it another thought, but they had. They thought of nothing else. And now, they had found him.
Riggz309
Leave it to the fine people of Malaysia to lead the way in alternative energy vehicles.
MindPez
After a long flight, the geese felt relieved when the man on the moped offered them a ride, but were a little confused by the seating accomodations.
racedogg2
Five minutes later, he would crash into the bike carrying bread crumbs. Six ducks would be killed in the ensuing chaos.
Riggz309
Seventeen minutes later, the driver was hanging, skinned and glazed, in a Chinatown storefront window.
HelperMonkey
If one of his pulls a knife, you pull a gun. If one of his pulls a chicken, you pull a duck. That's the Peking way.
Leaf
Misunderstanding western traditions, every time a driver pissed him off, Henry would flip them a bird!
Swaimfan
While they did not like the cramped conditions very much, the recession meant many of the less well-off ducks had to commute using public transport.
restlessgiant
In London, duck tours involve semi-aquatic vehicles touring around and then in the Thames. In Mexico, the translation was taken somewhat literally...
ironslick
25 Geese? Check! 1 racing-striped motorcycle Helmet? Check! 15 ponds of black tar heroin wrapped in a burlap sack? Check!
CavalierX
Phil never understood why he couldn't get Federal funding to develop his idea for a goose-powered motorcycle.
mr_plow
Maybe you can kill two birds with one stone, but Pablo can kill an entire flock with one piece of shit.
CaptainCarl
Despite rising gas prices, Thailand's duck powered scooters likely won't make it to the North American market any time soon
ironslick
In America we have the "ice cream truck". Things are a little different in third world countries.
Jeepster
Whaddaya want?! His motorcycle was the first thing they saw when they were born.
darthbogus
Most people laughed at my Dad when he declared himself Duck king but after a few years...they still laughed.
hoochiscrazy
He took this way too seriously as a child... D-d-d-danger, watch behind you - there's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab onto some Duck Tales, oo-oo! Not pony tails or cotton tails but Duck Tales, oo-oo!
megaweege66
I got a duck for a fuck, a buck for a duck and two bucks for a fucked up duck.
MrLoco718
Stuck with them for life, Carlos has always regretted being the first thing they saw when they hached.
NotMike
"Ha! I said I'd give you twenty DUCKS for that helmet!" "Alright, give me my ducks." "...Fuck."
Jarhead
Holding a gun to Julio's back, the ducks told Miguel to just act natural and quietly drive them to the lake.
Jarhead
Holding a gun to his back, the ducks told Miguel to act natural and quietly drive them to the lake.
ShawnStu
There once was some type of Asian Philipino or maybe Malaysian He was chased by police for an abundance of geese and they busted him for quacks evasion.
Fkelleghan
Donnie Ducko always said, "Life is one long insane trip. Some people just have better directions."
hollohill
He's playing with fire now; there's no way they can ALL grow up to be swans...
ShawnStu
Make way for ducklings! (yeah, that was kinda gay, but nobody will see this anyway)
Zaphod
traffic fine for riding without muffler: $400 cost of a new muffler: $300 cost of 25 geese to cover noise: $50 it all makes sense now
The_Entertainer
For the ducks, the story had ended. For Fred's Fantastic All-Water Fowl Circus, a new story was just beginning.
Mr.Ogynist
Goddammit Ping, it's righty-tighty, Lefty-goosey. Get the fuck out of my way.
Sairin
We are so very sorry for the mistake folks, We meant to post this picture on Quacked.com
shermanator2004
"In other news, Donald, Daffy, and Duckworth are among 30 illegal immigrants from the U.S. captured today! Local police say...."
BlueRose
Mallards, also facing tough economic times, prepare to scooter-jack an unsuspecting peasant.
pharmmajor
They said waterfowl could never learn to drive. Well, I'll show them... I'll show them all!
bydonn
Humphry laughed to himself as he got closer to the checkpoint. "No proof of insurance, my ass", he thought to himself....
Fishboy
...and in the basket on the front, he had a fox. It was when he stopped and went into the store that the trouble really started.
DanManX
Tired of having to wait for lines of ducklings to cross the road, this guy took matters into his own hands.
MacabreSoren
Horsepower is hard to come by in rural Asia, so sometimes you have to make due.
GoHopewell
Remember the dad from the Christmas Story? turns out he liked the duck more than the turkey.
DirkBelig
Many childrens' games of "Duck Duck Goose" will never get past the "duck" part now.
kiddo
The technology might not be quite there yet, but the Indonesian peasants play a mean game of Duckhunt.
fairies74
Pictured: The ducks who didn't quite make the cut for the AFLAC commercials....
Hank
In Jakarta, the favored unit of currency is waterfowl ... as we see this gentleman ride to town to see what he can buy for 50 ducks
kiddo
Get your motor running... head out on the highway! Looking for adventure - with-27-ducks-strapped-to the-back-of-my-moped...
adunski
the goose bandit was in south america this time looking for duck parties to crash..
Iapyx
They thought Jimmy was crazy when he invented the the duck collision avoidance system. But who's the quack now??
jtklove
As he rode along, he simply couldn't stop gaggling at all the people who stopped to have a gander at his cargo.
Zaphod
the 31st Battalion immediately regretted making fun of Brazil's sorceror community
jmble
The mysterious man rides out as quickly as he rides in, but everywhere he goes, you can bet there will be a rousing game of Duck, Duck, Goose....
Mr.Birchfield
If only he took his helmet off once in a while he wouldn't have thought that she said she wanted to DUCK all night
vinsane
Sadly, this could have all been prevented if gay marriage were abolished. It's a slippery slope
lord.henry
The Aflac ducks find a very different work environment when their jobs were sent overseas.
They're not kidding when they say a baby duck will follow the first person it sees upon hatching EVERYWHERE.
MacabreSoren
Bill wanted to give back to the community by offering a free taxi service. Unfortunately, his normal clientele tended to discourage the community at large...
ibox
Tired of being called a pussy by his Harley riding friends, Jose decided to make his moped louder
Hank
On the bustling streets of Indonesian cities, the man with the loudest horn has the right-of-way
pambeesly
The record got stuck on 6 geese a laying... so I ended up buying way too many.
Saintsman
You know the driver is just a giant duck in human clothes... and their about to take over the world.
getittwistd
Dr. Frankenstein had forsaken his monster. His new creation would require great time, great patience, and an abundance of raw materials. Soon, he would create THE DUCKBILLED PLATYPUS!
mabogo
.....and THAT'S how Jose wound up with the best honking bike in all of Mexico .....
getittwistd
Duck Potato Sack Races are the most lucrative form of gambling in Indonesia.
DirtyMaggieMae
If only the poor bastards knew the rape and torture Bill O'Reilly was about to inflict upon them.
phreesh
Tired of all the hassles, the goose family all chipped in and got a driver for this year's migration.
Hank
the Delorean needed plutonium and a flux capacitor, if his specs were correct, all Leon needs is a moped and 30 ducks ...
Jeepster
Orville and Wilber Wright's lesser known early attempts at flight were significantly less successful.
GoHopewell
"And Joe rode on proudly. He knew how jealous everyone was of his new scooter, but he didn't expect to make the whole left lane stop!"
Mr.Birchfield
Wow Frank you weren't kidding, this is a lot better than flying, I can't wait to find out what the Happy Dragon is, sounds exotic
Bacon13
If I had as many Cracked user names as this guy has geese I could get comments at the top too!
War8nt
They see me rolling....they hating....patroling and trying to catch me riding dirty.
MisterCode
Dude! I said "Suck a bag of DICKS!" And honestly, dude, I didn't expect you to really do it!
meat
Everyone watches as Gilbert Godfrey takes his final bike ride with his loyal fans. Moments later, Gilbert and his ducks are lined up and shot. And no, they did NOT have insurance.
HelperMonkey
All it took was a couple sticks of bamboo and some twine, and Ed greatly increased his productivity.
Hank
After a while, Phil decided the duck-scooter was far superior to his previous Sumatran Tiger Pick-Up
mabogo
Mexico's first attempt at designing an amphibious assault vehicle was something less than a rousing success.......
ivecomehomenow
What an irresponsible asshole, I mean those ducks aren't wearing helmets.
bonneyt
BEHOLD! the next generation of fuel efficient vehicles... i give you: the duck mobile
Blackstone
The new version of Mario Kart, with awesome ducks to throw instead red shells..
SlimTheSham
The Cambodian version of "101 Dalmatians" seems to have lost something in translation.
Ironlightsaber
This is what we will be driving if we don't bail out the big three auto makers!!!!!!
hibby989
Poor guy in the red hat...now he's probably gonna go through the rest of his life thinking a motorcycle means "bike powered by ducks"
Batman?
The Bollywood version of Grease mistranslated the script. Men, I give you Geese.
HighonCracked
Although the Duck Hunter was a kind and gentle man, his dog would always laugh at you if you missed your shot.
zbeebs
Oh jeez, Fred, you didn't take that article on "how to get animals to do your bidding" seriously, did you?
Sai_Skunk
Some of the smarter migrating birds find it easier to simply mail themselves south for the winter.
Junior
You know what's weird? The duck heads never move and sometimes... you can hear the bags barking
megaweege66
Just two minutes later, there was an earth quack.......huh??.....huh???..............ahhh!!
BrettB
Whats the problem, a man takes his pets out for a leisurely spin and everyones duckin staring.
zbeebs
Hilarious hijinks ensued when Jenny told Forrest Gump about her fantasy of having him "go down on her on a motorcycle".
BrettB
The Malaysian Evel Knievel will next week be attempting to jump 40 dogs without trying to eat them.
popetyrone
Lets remake Top Gun. First audition is for Goose. We should make him badass ride a motorcycle... that was the intent somehow it got lost in translation.
BrettB
Bobby had a plan, if people didn't buy his keyrings he would shoot them, if that didn't work he'd feel a right tit. Oh sorry that was yesterdays craption.
KristofferAG
With all this noise about pollution, Fernandes was trying to find some alternative methods of flight.
bobleponge
Joe may not have been rich in terms of money, but he was wealthy were it really counted.
wizzPOPPA
silently, rick fiddled at the back bolt, which unknowlingly, would send all of them hurdling towards theyre death
darthtanion
OK boys but next Winter you either hire a bus or learn to fly south on your own.
topher
duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck duck goose.
outsider22583
Sam smirks as people now cautiously go around him. Nobody will mess with him now that he has an army of killer ducks by his side.
HardcoreMax
Man, I bet that smells FOWL! Actually ducks are technically classed as poultry...I've ruined an already bad joke haven't I?
HardcoreMax
In England the craptions don't come in until, like, 7. That's why i never FUCKING WIN!
mabogo
Sure, they pointed and laughed at him.....until the floods came.....after that, he was known as 'Jimenez the Genius'...
outsider22583
Steven still cant seem to understand why people always call him Steven "Duckman" Dickinson.
HardcoreMax
Duck pun time! "Stop using that fowl language, Jeffrey!" "Oh beak quiet Dave!" "Oh we're just getting in a flap" ummmm eeerrrr DUCKDUCKDUCKDUCK
outsider22583
Harry always had a soft spot for hitchhikers, especially if they are ducks.
DyZzY315
Only if we had pigeons instead of these damn ducks, they could send our messages
Hechtor31
Ducks: "Wabbit season" "Wabbit season" "Wabbit season" "Wabbit season" "Wabbit season" "Wabbit season" Man: "Oh ho. You guys are sooo wrong."
tthom979
Side effects may occur headaches, stomach discomfort, and being chased by dead ducks.
Schmofo
Pablo thought the rear-bagging duck mower was ok, but he would have preferred a mulcher instead.
Newsatan
Bob finally had enough with that fuckin Aflac duck and decided to take it out on his whole family
[J]
The people of the Town of San Ganso always get goose bumps when they see the local brainsick old man do his daily "tour of inspection".
Pedgerow
If you've read this far down the Craptions list...congratulations. You win recognition.
SHOTOVER
Juan hoped that if enough birds pooped on his bike then it would never happen again
Leaf
Old MacDonald had a bike C - R - A - Z - Y And on that bike he had some ducks C - R - A - Z - Y
Nottoohappy
Research in the field of alternative fuel sources goes far beyond ethanol and and hydrogen.
Zaphod
Pictured: 3 homeopaths, 5 chiropractors, 2 aromatherapists, 7 reflexologists, 2 theraputic-touch nurses and an iridologist.
The_Entertainer
No one had warned Jeff about the Duck Attack Squads patrolling the Cambodian streets.
M5000
Surprisingly, India didn't have as much funding for their Public Transprtation System for ducks as they did for humans.
The_Entertainer
Today, on Pimp My Ride: Thailand, Nai-Thim gets his Moped tricked out, Bangkok style.
Rubenstinsky
Our mexican version of Duck Hunt for NES (the inmigrant is cheaper than the dog)
Cools
Lloyd Christmas figured that, if he could sell one dead bird to a blind kid in a wheelchair, why not twenty more? "Were going to SOUTH AMERICA!"
old_owl
SCIENTOLOGY! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Get it!? It's because scientology is funny and so is this picture! ahahahahahahahahahahahahahlolololololololololololololololololol * infinity
Rdawg
im not even going attempt to poke fun at such an epic picture, thats probably the coolest thing I've ever seen
playdohpoetry
Success! They're so distracted by the ducks they don't notice that I'm completely naked from the waist down.
spacecadet
Wang wore a helmet now because last time he forgot to duck. Unfortunately his ducks were not so lucky.
spacecadet
Pedro may have looked funny wearing a helmet, but he really didn't give a duck.
After they refused to payout on the accident, John was totally out to get AFLAC.
Shana F
They call them "The Wild Geese". The most feared motorcycle gang in the Philippines.
StrangerEight
And with that, the man in the oddly coloured shirt collected them all.. Duck by duck.. And the ducks waited.... Waited.... For freedom... Only to find a metal pot filled with steaming water and salt that burned their eyes and pepper that made them sn
JeannieMeanie
Hello sir, I'm Officer Fowler, with the motherducking Gaggle of Geese Police Squad. Do you have current registration on that there Moped you're driving?
Bannedforlife
due to budget cuts and the financial crisis the a"qua"tics team improvised other modes of transportation.
Dr.Avery
It might look ridiculous, but she had the only bike in the village that could honk.
MavericGamer
If he were grabbing someone's ass, this would be the perfect corruption of everyone's favorite childhood circle-sitting game...
Sawyer
Off to run his daily paper route, Greg realizes with mounting horror that his newspaper bags are quacking.
Sawyer
Fueled by waterfowl, my anaticycle consumes energy at the rate of 1.5 ducks/mile, but runs much better on geese.
Sawyer
Red-cap guy is wishing he had such a pimped out duck-cycle. Grey-and-orange-cap guy is thinking, "My duck-cycle has thirty duck-power and royal blue duck-holding saddle bags. Take THAT."
Sawyer
"Who the fuck are YOU lookin' at, Bikey? That's right, you keep on riding, you commie bastard."
Sawyer
For his next stunt, the great Fanbeani would jump the fruits and vegetables section of the marketplace carrying 50 ducks and wearing no pants.
Royal_Payne
Later, Phil was diqualified after drug testing revealed Viagra in his coffee.
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