getittwistd
McDowell's Hamburgers has their own version of Ronald McDonald: Rondle McFondle
zbeebs
Calling the "Quarter-Pounder" a "Royale with Cheese" isn't the only thing different about McDonald's in France.
Cheekstheclown
The worst thing is that the clown is covering up 5 photos of missing children.
gtrplyr515
Heath Ledger really crossed some boundaries when he combined his roles from Brokeback Mountain and The Dark Knight...
Bioked
People usually say 'somewhere someone is masturbating over this' well in this case somewhere he is masturbating over you
8ajl8
Ronald McDonald's biography (chapter 5) : when he got fired from his well known job, Ronald took it to the streets.
phreesh
Yeah. That looks like a guy with a chain of restaurants that caters to children.
nervousnerd
After years in the spotlight Marilyn Manson gives up his music career to fulfill his lifelong dream as a fast food mascot.
jtklove
Can't sleep, clowns will eat me.... Can't sleep, clowns will eat me.... Can't sleep, clowns will eat me....
getittwistd
Nevada state law requires sexual offenders to notify their neighbors that they are moving into the area. It does not, however, require you to post homo-erotic pictures of yourself at every street corner Ronald!
gtrplyr515
Why are we writing craptions about Ronald McDonald rubbing off? Damn, there has got to be more to life than this...
Ed_Gein
Jealous of his continued fame, Bozo launched a slanderous attack on Ronald McDonald.
CavalierX
After years of losing market share, McDonald's comes up with an ad that can compete with Burger King for the "creepy: demographic.
tomroadrunner
Hello children... 5 points to whoever finds the french fries I've hidden! First clue: Theyre somewhere in my pants!
getittwistd
McDonalds has had to re-think their advertising campaign during the economic crisis.
xiquiripat
Ad for the new "Tickle Me Ronald" isn't as sucessful as the executives had hoped.
getittwistd
...and that's what it was like to grow up with Ronald McDonald for a dad. Now go home to your parents and never complain that your life sucks again, children.
lismartarse
Oh yeah, Grimace, you purple bastard...I'll prove that I am a natural red-hed with a handful of these!
steeltesseract
I made millions of burgers but do the call me the burger king no....but you sexually molest one kid......
schadenfreude9
With the death of the Internet, Craiglist casual encounters were taken into the streets
Truthiness
There's the Happy Meal and there's the Happy Ending Meal. Only available at select locations.
bydonn
Unable to make ends meet, Ronald accepted his new line of work as a CRACKED mascot...
TheSnacker
A grown man, playing with children, in a disguise. Yeah, that isn't creepy...
YogSothoth
It didn't take long until people figured out that the Hamburglar had murdered Ronald and made a mask out of his victims skin...
bydonn
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.....oh, damn, it tastes like a Big Mac.....OK, now I just threw up a lot in my mouth.....
Rex-Jester
Gollum Hamburgler eyes Bilbo McHobbit with hungry eyes, then tangents... (what has it got in its pocketses???)
sofaking
Would you like....ohh...would you....ahhhh...hold on...mmmhmm.would you like fries with that?
agalryunaer
For all that´s sacred please don´t show me whats in your pocket Mr. Clown!!!
agalryunaer
Shure, tell me its only in my head. Its easy to say that until someone gets kidnapped mom
Swaimfan
The McDonalds executives began to regret giving Tim Burton the advertising contract.
NotMike
I once saw someone dressed up as him for Halloween.Weird thing was he was at the park, in June.
nervousnerd
When positive marketing failed Burger King launched a smear campaign with the assistance of former GOP publicists.
badonia
"i just can't decide what to order....perhaps something off the brand new rape menu?"
empleryEntrance
And what did you hear Clarice...what was it that woke you in the night...and what did you seeeeee....
guidodarezzo
Slipknot, please stop changing your masks and overalls, shawn´s is ridiculous
Rex-Jester
Gollum eyes Bilbo with hungry eyes, then tangents... (what has it got in its pocketses???)
zero82
Why do they keep doing this to my 'Lost dog' posters?! How am I suppose to know who took him?!
davesarecool
McDonalds statement after the media slammed their latest ad campaign: "Hey, pedophiles have gotta eat too"
fthrud
In science news, the French Space Agency announced a new corporate sponsorship for their De Gaulle II launch vehicle.
TJL
The kids at eh Ronald McDonald house couldn't decide what was scarier: cancer or the wallpaper.
Rawsomecore
What's Chris Kattan doing masturbating on a pole dressed as Ronald McDonald?
NotMike
Burger King's latest smear campaign backfired when McDonalds started posting record profits in the sex offender community.
megaweege66
In Barrack Obama's America there will be no more prejudice against Race, Age or sick fucked up Pedophile shit.
ajp1015
But the retaliatory poster of "Wendy" blowing a guy while strung out on meth was even creepier.
Swaimfan
Knowing how the public would react, the company went to great lengths to bury the launch of the new book "I'm Hatin' It: How McDonalds treat their Mascots."
brow
"You got the Hamburglar stealin shit, and you got me. Just chillin on the lamp post, whackin the meat. . . SOMEBODIES gotta work around here."
astrolad
You'll never guess who they got to replace Heath Ledger in the Dark Knight sequel.
Iapyx
Amber Alert...or perhaps it should be crimson alert. The point is, if you're under 12 and see this man, FUCKING RUN!
Linux fan
Carl was furious. Someone had put that fucking clown over his Book Laundry ads again.
brow
I suppose the Burger King is across the street, sniffin coke and tossin salads. Nothing works Ronald up like the King tossin salads.
brow
Would you like an autograph, kid? Let me get my pen. There it is. . . Oh, wait, that's my cock.
Salman
This just proves that America's main export is "filth". And its always in demand!
TulsaZ79
The McDonald's ad campaign during the Dark Knight release actually hurt more than it helped.
BowToTheBard
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS CLOWN? IF SO, PLEASE CALL YOUR LOCAL DISEASE CONTROL HOTLINE.
DamnitDog
The city is considering new stickers to help better label sex offenders. So far opinions have been mixed.
SRHCFC
After much discussion, they finally announced Heath ledger's replacement for Batman 3.
SKMDC
Ronald hoped viral marketing would help his chances of joining Insane Clown Posse.
spacecadet
Ronald McDonald's sad decline: His hairline started receding, his eyes were bloodshot from a lifetime of bad food, and he started playing with himself in public.
badonia
he's just reaching in his pocket for a mcrib.....nothing to see here, move along
deaved_wrath
"I've got something im front pocket for you, why dont you reach in and see what it is?"
Frigga
Half price tickets!! See the new play!! Michael Jackson as Ronald!! Two thumbs up!! ****
heyadele
Ronald McDonald really wanted to break away from his kid image and take on more dramatic roles, such as the Joker.
BeardedClam
Hey there little boy. Why don't you see if you can bend over and touch your toes!
DirkBelig
"Super-Sizing your Happy Meal"; so that's what the kids are calling it these days?
Brett-Butler
If you think that poster's disturbing wait till you see the self-harming Noid underneath it.
ClintBeastwood
After they closed the slaughter house....Leatherface had to find a different way to make ends...meat.
getittwistd
Ronald's attempts at to join the lucrative mexican wrestling circuit ended up in a horrible addiction to steroids and cortizone shots, leading him to constantly check his scrotal size.
chromigula
Ronald McDonald, after having been let go by McDonald's, finds himself working his way down the ladder. He's now on the rung labeled "crack ho."
nervousnerd
After a violent break-up with Grimmace, private pictures of Ronald began showing up all around town. "These pictures were taken for private use within the privacy of our home" stated Mr. McDonald when asked for a quote. Attempts to contact Grimma
Bell110
Many people don't know this, but Ed Gein spent some time playing corporate mascots.
agalryunaer
Your methods might be a bit controversial doctor, but damn I'll be loosing weight!
phreesh
Little known fact - Ronald McDonald burned his hands off in a terrible deep-fryer accident in 1972.
ClintBeastwood
Battling a horrible Meth addiction, Ronald decided he had taken just about enough abuse at the hands of the Burger "King"......It was time for a little payback.
agalryunaer
After your batshit crazy video in Japan you keep spooking me in deeper levels Mr. McDonald, for that I salute and pity you. Now please disappear once and for all.
brow
MISSING: Ronald McJackin doll. Last seen in Byrant Park, 'fertilizing' the flowers. If seen, be very cautious. Ronald may be frisky.
RuthlessChicken
Suddenly the Hamburgler isn't the most terrifying member of the McDonald's family...
Mr.Solitaire
Burger King's latest advertising campaign is accused of being underhanded; in perhaps more than one sense.
zero82
If it doesnt get all over the place, it doesnt belong in you f... whoops! HA HA... Sorry, different burgers. What an idiot...
bydonn
"I'll give you a McNugget if you come in my car" "If you give me all 10, I'll come in your mouth!"
brow
...and a sesame seed buuuuuuuuunn...uh....oh yeah....mmm....sesame.....bunnnnnnssss....
K2theC
"He's Ronald McDonald, the hamburger-happy clown, a McDonald's drive-in restaurant is his favorite place in town."
Gregoclock
warning: inserting chicken nuggets anywhere but your mouth will result in massive crab itch.
lycia
the one thing that isnt processed at mcdonalds is special McSauce that comes with every kids meal
gtrplyr515
I would love to say that I have never fantasized about this, but that would be a lie *sigh*
CrackedPipe
Ronald, you're just getting sloppy these days. Look at you! You show up late in a red-eyed daze every day...and today you didn't even remember your nose. We're afraid we're going to have to put you on indefinite leave and have the Hamburglar take
brow
This guy visits fat camps across the world. He WILL make you lose weight, or your ass will be SORE!
brow
Ah, I see. Richard Simmons is the new Ronald. Too bad they don't serve Whoppers. Unless, of course, by whopper you mean Richard Simmons' COCK.
hibby989
Ronald wasn't happy about being out-classed by Pennywise, so he decided to go below the belt
wrathofgod72
McDonald's is starting to feel the effects of the economy. As you can see they are now hiring spokesmen for their company from the Betty Ford Clinic art design department.
DamnitDog
Getto Clown Getto Clown, exposing himself all around town Is he a perv, or is he a ped, or as a child was he dropped on his head. Look out here comes the Getto Clown.
DamnitDog
Shanon was happy her art finally got recognition, that is until 5 minutes from now when the police break down her door that is.
fuckyoucracked
McDonald's campaign of teaching kids how to explore their genitals when looking for testicular cancer got demoted to street lights and back alley garbage cans.
Leaf
Sarah: "What did you get with your Happy Meal?" Billy: "Herpes... You??" Sarah: "Gonnorhea..."
Leaf
Sarah: "So what did you get with your Happy Meal" Billy: "Syphilis... but that's all right. I got the Penicillin shake"
rms16270
"Wake me up, before ya go go, don't leave me hangin' on like a yo yo!!" "Hey! You're not Ronald McDonald!" "Yes I am!....'Cause I gotta have faith! I gotta have faaaith!"
irishjim84
The worst part is that when he's done the ketchup and mustard end up EVERYWHERE.
StayClassy
When Michael Bay decided to remake Halloween, they knew he would commercialize it. But no one saw THIS coming.
StayClassy
This is the first phase of McDonald's controversial "WHY SO SERIOUS?" campaign.
getittwistd
Needless to say, McDonald's has discontinued their Ronald McDonald Birthday Parties.
outsider22583
This month's issue of "Playbun"...Ronald McDonald. The man with the special sauce.
lloydjermy
Ronald's joy is shortlived when he realises he is not the first clown on the sex offenders register!
DirtyMaggieMae
After seconds of consideration, the marketing executives at McDonalds decided to green-light their new "Happy Feel" campaign.
ivecomehomenow
A Rarely known fact Ronald McDonald starred in snuff films, before selling out to the corporate man.
sofaking
I'm so hungry, I guess mcdonalds will have to do. *sees this poster* Wendys isn't too far away.
Sylocat
Now when you check the ingredients list, you'll know what "partially hydrogenated oil" means.
Dublinia
Hey Hey can interest you in two all beef patties. special 'ahemm" sauce,lettuce,cheese,pickles,onion on a sesame seed bun?
aceospades75851
Finally, Ronald was reduced to masturbating for money in order to feed his crippling Big Mac addiction.
MrTweek
Well fuck, I was hoping to sleep tonight, but that won't be happening. Thanks Cracked.
Simski
Nobody knows exactly if Ronald founded McDonald's before or after his terrible killing spree.
Magick_Markerz
Intorducing the Mchauntyourdreams meal. Includes: All your crushed hopes and dreams! And a free side of Syphilis!
g-unit
His friends thought it was hilarious, but Ronald's own rendition of the SNL Digital Short, Dick in a Box, entitled Dick in a Happy Meal Bag, was not well received when he performed it at the focus group for potential new Happy Meal toys.
xxxero
tune in to "law and order: special victims unit" this week- with special guest star ronald mcdonald!
UnitedVandalism
Fuck the Joker. Everyone thinks he's so cool and crazy. After I rub my boner here in public, I'll definitely be the coolest!
Xsin13
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese,pickles, free candy, in a beat up unmarked van.
kjackson322
Nintendo presents, "Paper Ronald" where you can give the milk a shake and french the ultimate Fry!
fluf
Two all beef testies filled with sauce and smells like cheeeeeese.... my pickle between yous insesame buns.
bamentt
Two all beef patties, "special" sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame......big cum!
fatbloke
Try the new Big Jac! Two all meat buns, special sausage, lettuce ...? pickles ....? Uh... onions .....?
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