DrTom
His parents tried to tell him no one would notice, but Bobby felt so self-conscious about his acne.
arethusa
Tonys wish for a billion breasted women lying naked on the beach goes horribly wrong
Kyrzarx
Suddenly billy realized why everyone was looking at him. He was naked.... and a sea cucumber.
Truthiness
Unfortunately the girls had no nursery rhyme to help them deal with a gigantic barnacle.
Fkelleghan
Not pictured: another sculpture, just down the beach, of a hand clenching some toilet paper.
UselessTalent
AIDS and cancer are nothing compared to what people now call 'Something-that-looks-like-a-testicle-covered-with-warts.'
Brett-Butler
After being banned from the beach, Gary Glitter hoped his new disguise would allow him to continue his voyeurism.
Linux fan
As she was playing with her sisters, Blobella suddenly got a strange suspicion that she might be adopted.
Rawsomecore
Poor Nancy didn't see the REAL Seabiscuit bearing down on her until the last second...
hibby989
For some reason, beached massive sea urchins never got as much attention as the beached whales
ilovecactus26
When the alien spore landed by the lakeside, people just ignored it thinking it was some sort of bizarre memorial.
gtrplyr515
Thoughts of the man to the left... my life has deteriorated to looking at a white whale's cancerous testicle and my daughter stalking her friend... God I need a drink
Fkelleghan
The fact that you can score a piddling municipal grant doesn’t make you an artist.
UselessTalent
After a few minutes of hide-and-seek. Lizzy climbed inside the mysterious object in the middle of the beach.... And God moaned.
Mr.Lumberjack
fuck you all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and-- oh you're talking about the rock thing
Brett-Butler
You can't stand under this umbrella-ella-ella... Seriously, that woman has ruined that word for the rest of us.
psychotic
Alright, who buried Lindsay in the sand? I know someone did it, I can see her crabs!
Rawsomecore
Yes girls, that right: your favorite horse "Seabiscuit" is named after a giant ball of beach shit. Where's your God now!?!
Leaf
"Look at that giant sea urchin!! It left tracks!!" "Where do they lead back to??" "The outhouse..." "Kids?? KIDS?!? We're going home!! NOW!!"
phoenixblaze319
Still jealous about only getting half her parents attention, little Mandy found the perfect place to hide her younger sister: the ocean.
tiggyfriddys
Sea Urchin child predators have to try extra hard not to draw attention to themselves. Ted has yet to master this skill.
Fkelleghan
And you just know the insurance guys will claim it was a pre-existing condition.
Vasher666
Tammy, the ten-tittied succubus from Prion-7, could not understand how these stupid beasts could be so oblivious to her sexy striptease... She would have to come up with a new scheme to enslave the humans.
spoo
All this talk about the least important part of the picture, the Cthulu thing on the walkway. What about the totally decent ass on the chick in white pants?
Frozen Pie
The Military's secret new tire tread technology was never discovered, even after one of them fell out of the plane.
Brett-Butler
Setting Raiders of the Lost Ark at the beach just didn't have the same impact.
gtrplyr515
All praise the great rock, descendant of the sky, protecting us from the God awful acne so many of us fight
SUPERNAUT44
Marissa and Lindsey freaked out when they realized they touched the stone of youth. They were doomed to live as toddlers.
Crazybbq
The old hermit from sunset ave. was starting to take things a little too literally
capricia13
Somewhere on ebay a lot of "unique and organic" light sabers are about to go up for auction as yet another giant sea urchin is taken by poachers.
Sourcookies
I frickin hate those goddamn mutant sea urch... there's one behind me isn't there.
Leaf
Billy always won at hide-and-seek. 'Cause no one else was crazy enough to go in that fuckin' thing!!
bcanders
Enemies in nature, when raised from pups, humans and urchins can form lifelong bonds.
scyott
Seaside shrapnel holocaust after tourist tykes detonate decorative mine. Story at eleven.
necroblade404
The pier is a good hangout place despite the giant rolling spike traps of death. But even the little girls dodge them most of the time........ most of the time....
Swaimfan
"Miranda, I can't be with you. We come from different worlds." "No Mollusc, don't say that. I love you." "I love you too, but it's just not enough. I'm sorry. I have to go" "MOLLUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSC!!!!!"
SlimTheSham
Years removed from the gaming spotlight, Sonic the Hedgehog lashes out at today's youth for overlooking him.
HappyHomer
The German defence tactic of 'weirding the other army out' in Normandy proved quite futile
Cheekstheclown
You may not agree with his politics, but you'll love to venture out with the family to meet Rudy Giuliani's prostate.
HappyHomer
"Hello, Greenpeace? You guys throw Whales back into the sea, don't you? How about huge deformed shellfish? Hello...?"
-Rob-
The two girls played on pretending not to notice him.. Thats awful.......shellfish Bahahahaha!! ...Kill me now.
Fkelleghan
"Really, get over here now, you've never seen anything like this!" "Yeah, sure, and it’s raining shit outside, ’cause horses have wings." "Well, actually..."
wamsachel
The Photron: High Speed camera, capable of 10,000 frames a second was able to snap a photo of this previously undetectable sea monster. It's a damn good camera
wamsachel
The Photron: High Speed camera, capable of 10,000 frames a second was able to snap a photo of this previously undetectable sea monster as it surfaced to feed. It's a damn good camera
Davematt
After taking as much abuse as it could handle Goatse's anus runs away... to a more beautiful place...
ZananIV
The Ugly Sand-Turtle (Latinis Really Duckon Unpleasant to Loooketh At) is often mistaken for the work of local disgruntled Sand Castle Builder.
ZananIV
Is Your Truck Tire Infected with Sand Demon Eggs? Our reporters say it is a possibilty.
StayClassy
It didn't take the producers very long to figure out that Pokemon doesn't translate well to live-action.
StayClassy
Oh, you know some crazy motherfucker is gonna come along and start praying to it.
cutslasher
Look at this fucking urchin! It's got spikes and shit! Fuck yes! You want that shit don't you? FUCK YES YOU DO!!!
eljerryo
Authorities are unsure of when the giant butterfly will hatch, but they do have the sacrifices in place.
magicbuddah23
Holy fuck!! Run girls, the crabcake is rabid. Whatever u do, don't touch the nipples.
Cap
When it fell from the sky, the populace was startled. What emerged, would be spoken about for years later.
LilMoof
Shell was filled with hope that if Barack Obama can become president, so can he!!!
Fkelleghan
They look to me like the kind of idiots who also never learned to avoid books made out of people’s faces.
SUPERNAUT44
HOLY CRAP!!!! I cant believe this. This is just awkwardly uncomfortable and crazy.. SHE'S WEARING WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YogSothoth
Now they're still having fun, but wait until they open the world's largest Durian...
kjackson322
Those late nights with good friends Chester and Krispy tend to catch up with you.
BayArea
The Sea Shell landed and was ready to begin its annihilation on the human race...
dbr
Now, now, Darby and Dot, leave the giant shell-encrusted squid turd right there where you found it
dbr
The children continued to play, unaware that the strange sea egg had already begun to crack. Soon, a million flesh-eating spiders would devour them and all other humans with fifty miles of Skull Beach.
Icalasari
Girl on the left: Oh god, my ass is gonna get WHIPPED when daddy finds out about what I did to that Sea Urchin!
ZananIV
Mothra's Cousins. the Beedras are known for the relatively small size of their honeycombs.
ZananIV
K'Lurr, the Forward Scout of an alien race allergic to water which nonetheless would conquer us at all cost.
ZananIV
You see, the first nuclear bomb test we didn't tell you about...it affected an algae in the Indian Sea, and it wants revenge!! Run!! Run! It's moving at the rate of erosion!
Batman?
"Oh my dear God! Honey, what the hell is that!?!" "Oh, relax George. It's just two little girls playing."
Batman?
See, what you guys don't see is other side, where families are happily watching a man getting eaten by a giant hermit crab.
Joobles
I'd write a reference to "The Tick" here, but I don't remember the show very much.
StayClassy
And it was prophesied that in the end, Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump would forget their differences for one night and birth the Anti-Christ.
StayClassy
You know, I really have no idea what Radiohead is trying to say with their new music video.
StayClassy
You know, for all the fans' bitching, Spike Jonze really fucked up "Where The Wild Things Are"!
tuhokas
For millions of years, Asargoth the Destroyer lay on the beach and waited for his time, only to discover he had forgotten to develop legs.
tuhokas
Admittedly, the real Cthulhu was somewhat limited in his ability to destroy mankind.
Sawyer
When the giant shell came rolling, Jessica knew she had one last chance to save little Christie.
Zaphod
STATUS REPORT:: humans appear docile, soft, and non-stone-skinned. Commence invasion.
UnitedVandalism
Fuck! Look at my shadow Lucy! I think I'm about to shit another nipple monster!
bamentt
Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen,running to get the crack pike. They had hit the morherlode.
funkyass
and it was said that in the time of Noah and his Ark, God lost a contact lense.
Simski
Stella, the giant sea urchin, had a hard time keeping her adopted daughters under control.
rrhelhound
Warning: Never set these pink neon lights on fire and walk through them, parading around with a whip on your back. Oops.
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