Plan B
Being black while in this area may lead to death by barbershop poles or a giant caterpillar chucking a spear at you.
GaseousClay
Caution: if you stand between two blocks in a triangle, you may turn into a broken roller skate.
zero82
Phew! That was a close one. Thank God we both read the sign, didnt we Larry?........ Larry? LARRY!? Nooooo!!
Leaf
"Wow! Fred died in the most bizarre and unlikely way possible!" "You said it.... We should get a warning sign made just in case!"
MindPez
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.
CavalierX
WARNING: If you feel as though the walls are closing in, it may be because you have grown to giant size.
ajp1015
The last of the "Warning! Black people can be used as tractors" signs will be taken down after Inauguration Day.
bydonn
Warning: This is your brain. This is your brain at the barber. This is your brain less than, greater than or equal to a tractor. Any questions?
Bionic_Crouton
"Please proceed through the striped pillars and then shove two toy cars up your ass..."
davidnorris
If you stand in between the glark accelerators your penoptines will be decentrafuted.......eh, duh !
smallshrimp
Thank, god for that, i was just about to walk into a room with two large black and white blocks closing in on me, while two rocket type things touch each other. Thanks cracked!
queenarcoleptia
The third panel would have explained everything but it was cut for budgetary reasons
agalryunaer
Warning? don't worry that sign is there to make our dildo factory look all professional
MindPez
Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an "unsatisfactory" mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!
brow
Sit between the magnets to recieve Scientology lesson. Scientology car will be back shortly to pick you up.
Gambler
A clue in Dan Brown's new not-so-theology-based thriller, "The who-gives-a-fuck code".
jessen
Warning: Mean-spirited, self-referential, or ignorant submissions will be deleted
Fkelleghan
Warning: If humans wander nearby, please crush them or use whatever mechanical aids are available in your form to kill them. Thank you. -- Cyberdyne Systems Corporation
Spirolli
Ahhhhhh, I know what this is. It's one of those warning signs that the viewer has to interpret for himself. Post-modernistic warnings. Brilliant !!!!!!
agalryunaer
WARNING: Do not apply equal amount of telepathic force to opposing barber-shop signs when in the triangle and your big brother is applying the same amount of force he is receiving from Mario Kart vehicles. CLEAR AS FUCK
MindPez
The On/Off switch on this device does absolutely nothing, but if you do play with the switch, you will inevitably get a call from a man in Germany, telling you to STOP!
Gambler
I know this applies to all warning signs, but why is the exclamation mark first?
ScarlettOhara
Warning: The little guys from the bathroom door are about to fuck your shit up.
agalryunaer
Warning? FUCK YOU you are not my dad! I'll do... well I'll do this whenever I want to!!!
Riggz309
Proving no career is untaintable, Max Parson's,famous for his role as the guy on Men's room signs, ended up taking some questionable roles later in life.
agalryunaer
It clearly shows that playing with barber-shop signs will certainly open the 9th gate of hell
MindPez
My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow. I don't want to tell you your business, but if it were me I'd leave that thing alone.
Rex-Jester
Standing between the cautionary bollards will lead to your midsection being disfigured by spinning mechanism. More specifically, your penis will be stretched like taffy.
luv_doctor68
Yup. There's two minutes of my life I'll never get back. Thank you Cracked.com!
nervousnerd
On back: You better be drunk reading this sign because I'm sure drunk making it.
xgrendelx
Is this one of those optical illusions? The guy on top is actually bigger than the guy on the bottom.
MindPez
Warning: If you pass thru this area, you will be forced to play poor-graphics, 2-dimensional, 8-bit Atari games.
Rex-Jester
There once was a man's sillouette that between warning signs he did fret So he ran really fast 'til some wheels chewed his ass now he's twice as big, but all flat.
iowawarlock
Bob's curiosity led him to tempt fate and pressed the button next to this sign. Hillarity ensued.
SUPERNAUT44
Warning: Soapbox car crash? Some knid of press? Arrows?? AHHH FUCK THIS DAMN CRAPTION!!!! I SAT HERE FOR 20 MINUTES WAITING FOR A FUNNY CRAPTION. DAMN IT!!! FUCK!!!
Genkai
Warning: Triangle, guy, arrows, 2-candy canes, weird thing with wheels, more arrows and another guy
mabogo
Nobody ever could really figure out what the sign meant, but the penalty at the bottom seemed bad enough that it sure kept people from getting between the striped poles
assassassin
"Signs, signs, everywhere a sign Blocking out the scenery, breaking my mind Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?" "Uh, no."
scyott
Warning! Women only. Any balls discovered in this area may be crushed and/or removed and placed into spaceships.
Vagabundo
If you carry two suitcases with stripes youll most definitely feel unexpleinably attracted to the toy cars. Dont worry, theyll feel the same way too.
dbr
Despite the best efforts of the TSA, people are still confused about what to do at the airport
DamnitDog
Transformer Bathroom sign: Robot modes to the right, vehicle modes to the left.
Fkelleghan
Don't worry, folks, these are just my commander's instructions on how to return to my home-world. I don't know why someone wrote "warning" above it.
phreesh
I don't know about you, but I'm not getting my hair cut anywhere near this sign.
phreesh
I don't know what it's saying, but judging by all the scratches and rust and shit, you don't want to do it.
Bacon13
While the students at M.I.T. knew to avoid walking through the door, regular humans were unsuspectingly trapped within the evil triangle and assaulted with stripes and arrows.
Dr.Avery
Whatever that sign is warning us about is probably linked directly to the claw marks all over the wall
chickenface
By the time you decode this message, whatever it's warning you about will have already killed you.
brow
WARNING: Destruction of body is not allowed unless body is to be replaced by machine car thingy.
Fkelleghan
Joe over in Benefits Administration promised me that, as long as we hang this sign here, our asses are covered against lawsuits.
ZananIV
We at WarnCO. believed that the creation of a single type of universal warning sign would increase efficiency and decrease our carbon emissions. Believe us, you'll get used to it.
crazyivan
!Warning: If you're no wider than this sign, sexual intercourse with hinged vehicles is permitted.
brow
Why do I love seeing Luigi being shot against the wall to the right of this craption? I mean. . . WARNING!
brow
Obama walks through walls. Obama shape shifts into vehicles. Warning. The next 4 years will be awesome.
Gambler
CERN's new Horby Railtrack to Human Being experiment comes with the risk of being caught in a railway crossing.
holeintheboxers
Warning, using this machine may result in high speed tractor crashes while you're around.
davesarecool
Warning Tractors run over men in triangles and men and barbells are interchangeable.
Recap_Modotti
This is what happens when you fuck with the Large Hadron Collider...I think
darthbogus
Warning...I don't really know. Maybe don't get crushed by these things and us your mind to move stuff.
bobthecob
Never stand in between Barber Shops when they are at war or your tractor is done for.
Riggz309
In this harsh dystopian future all men within the pyramid are equal to trains, as decreed by Obama, lord upon high.
jtklove
Warning: This is what your balls will look like after exposure to the forces in this room.
getittwistd
Warning, poor safety standards have led to the necessity of a warning sign in and around these premises.
Zaphod
WARNING: this depository is for human recycling only, not broken race-cars. If you are unsure if you have a broken car or a human to recycle, consult the diagram below.
queenarcoleptia
Warning! If you walk between these stripey poles, you will be interchangeable with a lawn tractor pulling a wagon! Duh!
Nimzomitch
Standing between these two pylons will change articulated cars into people, and vice versa.
ironslick
after passing between the extra small hadron collider barriers you may turn into an autobot.
Sourcookies
Ummmmm... do not stand between striped rectangles at risk of being mowed down by out of control jetpacks?
Indigo_Dingo
Warning: Beware of vicious gamgs of Keep Right signs, if you Americans really insist.
resimars417
Standing between these yellow lines turns you into an unrecognizable monster.
bydonn
Warning: Ignore the red lazer on your chest while attempting to figure out this sign...
satur92002
Warning... While standing in the great pyramid you may experience a crushing effect from two traffic signs that will either change you into a transformer, or vice versa.
VladTheUmpire
Sexual interaction with the centipede-people emerging from the Stargate is strictly forbidden.
getittwistd
Warning, mysterious striped hunks of meat may appear one either side of you without warning! Except for this sign, which is warning you of the meat, and it's striped nature, but there will be no warnings after this one, unless you run into other cop
dmcooper
Theorizing that one could time-travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett led an elite group of scientists into the desert, to develop a top-secret project known as Quantum Leap. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Dr. Beckett prema
Zaphod
WARNING: standing in the magical triangle of candycanes will keep you safe from the siamese cannons
lycia
"bill what does this sign mean?" "oh that sign? we found it in the garbage, the wall seemed too plain"
resimars417
Oh I get it. The first one to figure out what it means gets a million dollars. It's reality internet...
ironslick
if you stand between the barber poles you WILL equal the sum of a tractor. period. this is not reccomended. you have been warned.
QuickWit
Man I hat using the bathrooms at crazy themed restaurants! I can never figure out which is mens and which is womens!
agalryunaer
Warning? No way, that's just a photo of our emo chef with his "Warning HOT" hat on
Zaphod
WARNING: humans are impervious to Electro-magnetic memory erasors, just break their spine as shown in figure (b)
dbr
Wrong again, Smeegar -- you said the humans were twenty years away from discovering triangular semaphoric transluctification.
sm112192
Dear cracked: Please also post were you find these pictures because there is obviously a drug there to help you understand this sign
QuickWit
President Elect Obama finds some strange signs that the Secret Service had put in place for George W. Bush... if only can can guess their meaning in time...
QuickWit
The new Indiana Jones movie really just mailed in their traps for Indy... what a shame
Ed_Gein
The new Irradiation Simulator was a big hit.... then it was used on real test subjects.
ironslick
apply liberally on infected area. avoid contact with mucous membranes. keep away from open flames. do not insert penis into giant vice or run over penis with a tractor.
lycia
banjamin wasnt the most popular transformer...all he could do was turn into a broken skateboard none the less he is still more than meets the eye
qqqman
Entering the North Pole; Trespassers will be candy-caned or turned into toy cars.
QuickWit
Sadly, Jim regrets telling his 10th grade math teacher that he would never need to know this stuff later in life... it was his last thought before dying...
RIJeep84
IF YOU CANNOT PAY FOR YOUR HAIRCUT IN CASH PREPARE TO BE IMPALED BY BARBELLS OR SUFFOCATED BY BROKEN CANDY CANES.
Zaphod
As it turns out Soylent green wasn't SUPPOSED to be made of people, but nobody who worked at the plant heeded the signs.
schadenfreude9
While in Moldova, it's best to avoid using the restrooms. For a number of reasons.
phreesh
Something tells me this will do nothing to prevent whatever it is they're trying to prevent.
gnomeenthusiast
Warning! Failure to remain behind protective barriers may result in scoliosis of the spine.
ClintBeastwood
WTF?!...My craption disappeared!..but I swear it was funny....it really was!! Please vote for me....I need acceptance!....I need ACCCEPTANCCCE!!!!!!!
DamnitDog
When the aliens saw this sign they knew it was pointless to ask for their leader.
phreesh
"...and before you submit it, check out other examples of no parking signs" "Whatever. It'll be clear enough."
resimars417
This warning sign is actually a mosaic of countless other warning signs that make no sense.
DamnitDog
WARNING: Black man in pyramid is going to try and steal your personal massager.
resimars417
This was actually another unexplained drawing on the Naazca plains. Turns out it was just the aliens' way of saying "Humans make no frickin' sense."
capricia13
While you read this sign your chromosomes were bombarded with experimental neutrinos and have now begun to spontaneously replicate with new mutations. Have a nice day.
Zaphod
With NASA's new warning signs in place, there will be no more mistakes --management, 1987
diddy0071
Warning the triangle of doom is near, please use the path between the striped poles. Also, you want in on this threesome?
joshman1979
if you walk between these striped poles you will turn into a broken down car, or a broken down car will turn into you. Just a heads up.
hibby989
Massive striped pole #1: If you don't get out of our way, we're gonna...um... Massive striped pole #2: break you in half like your two cars hitched together? Massive striped pole #1: Yeah, exactly!
ZananIV
I get it! It's supposed to distract the idiot who tries to figure it...*headshotted*
ZananIV
Warning: Go-Cart and Barbershop Pole Mating Area. You don't want to get between that Johnny, oh no no no no no...
ZananIV
You may be locked in a pyramid with a compacting library or transmogrified into two traffic lights if you enter. Don't believe me? You think I'm crazy? Hahah, we'll see.....
resimars417
Who would've guessed that accidents nearly doubled after this sign was put up.
ZananIV
A WARNING SIGN DOES NOT MAKE THIS AREA CONFORM TO THE STATES SAFETY REGULATIONS!
theentireqwerty
Warning: The author of the next craption that starts with "Warning" will be thrown in the trash compactor. Whether or not he/she/it is a person/robot.
ZananIV
They said creating warning signs for vague concepts such as this was useless, but our survey proves that divorce rates have gone down!
Truthiness
The Flaming Lips made this sign as a warning to roadies who work on their concerts.
Kalinken
In a time characterized by incredible lawsuits, even the pharaohs have to warn the dense among us about the curses they riddle their pyramids with.
bigj3880
OK- Which one of you FUCKS got the retarded kid drunk and left him ALONE with the sign making machine THIS time?
bydonn
HAHAHAHA, that is SO funny! Only to us HAZ-MAT drivers, that is!! HAHAHAHA, ROFL. I just LOVE inside jokes!!!!!
rms16270
"I don't know what happened. I walked in there and there was this oddly-shaped lawnmower. I was so scared of it! But you know what? He was scared of me too...he was scared of me to." (begins to cry)
rms16270
"I don't care what the fuck you put on the sign, just as long as it confuses them into not coming in here while I'm taking a dump on this bitch."
tao2001
WARNING: We don't know what the hell this Large Hadron Collider is going to do, but it probably won't be good.
Shinzumonk
!!Standing within this traingle may make you claustrophobic and instill upon you the ability to transmorph between human/machine form
puddly
Warning: Installing wheels on a black man is in many ways like balancing two tractors on top of each other.
Cannibalism
!WARNING: Striped blocks inside triangles may make you switch bodies with accordion buses.
Sofa-king
Warning: do not seperate the anorexic zebras or you will cause cannons to conjoin
hhswn
Our new machine swaps your genes, AND crushes them! Or is it the other way around?
Sofa-king
This is what happened when they felt bad and let Cecil the half-retarded immigrant make a sign
Sofa-king
Warning: while you try to understand this sign angry gnomes will steal your underpants
Sorark7
Ok, lets see what we got here. A warning sign, ok.... A giant triangle and 2 barber shop poles......... then a person and 2 train cars? I got nothin
Leaf
The warning sign on the Large Hadron Collider drives home the point that no one knows what the fuck this thing will do!
Actormd
Warning: TOP - Your wheels may become rusted and implode upon contact with this door BOTTOM - This warning is for transformers only
alkfuel66
Warning: Working out at this gym may cause you to have the ability to bend car frames with your abdominal muscles.
freudialis
"Warning!!!!!: Depending on where you are standing, you will either become a human pancake or a satellite destined to orbiting the Sun. Try to become a human pancake." TRY READING THIS AS THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN. THIS IS IN THE ANCIENT SUMERIAN CUNE
Scammah
Sorry to not be funny but this sign is obviously telling you to not stand in between the cars on the train. Duh
freudialis
"Warning!!!!!: Depending on where you are standing, you will either become a human pancake or a satellite destined to orbiting the Sun. Try to become a human pancake." TRY READING THIS AS THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN.
Mr.Solitaire
Ray Bradbury's tranference from sign-maker to novelist was a move few could contest.
PenguinReich
No one was really sure how to warn people about the LHC, but this sign was as good as any.
Dr.Humpenstein
Step between the swirly things while in the triangle zone or we shall liken you to the front of a race car and its mirror image.
LilMoof
Notice how it's a MAN not a WOMAN that is getting... what ever the hell is happening to him...
Johnny-Boy
Warning: You are currently standing inside a Trash Compactor. We advise you leave hurredly through the What The Fuck Is That, into the safety of the Unicorns.
Johnny-Boy
While you were trying figure out what this sign meant, I was at your house, with your Mom. Having Sex.
Sawyer
I saw this outside the local movie theater the other day. I think I'll just rent DVDs from now on.
heavy_e
The process of becoming a transformer was, unfortunately, not as easy as the sign depicted.
Ubergeek
If you push the two barbershop poles together, you'll cause a collision between two Landspeeders which in turn causes the Star Wars Geek to cry alone in the corner.
Hero
The Aperture Enrichment Center is full of many obstacles that, in some cases, can be extremely hazardous to your well being or health. Good Luck!
sofaking
Bob stood still, staring at the sign for the next 72 hours, fearing that doing anything might result in his death.
mollymerly
Warning: Standing between candy canes may result in unwanted viewing of rocket pack porn.
bigthemat
Warning. A magnetic pelvis will lead to the demise of the Star Ship Enterprise.
[J]
[!] Warning Entering the trap room may cause slight flattening of your body, and eventually, death. Also, beware the bumper cars.
santiseptic
The facilities manager of the military base just couldn't figure out how to represent the danger of inadvertently activating and stepping into a Stargate.
boxedman20
Mike only had himself to blame when he got himself trapped in the pyramid and turned into two starships making out...tsk, tsk.
boxedman20
Mike only had himself to blame when he got himself trapped in the pyramid and turned into two starships making out.....tsk, tsk.
oldenough
Warning: Entering here will make you switch places with a loader and you will suddenly find youself carrying a construction worker named Tiny.
Fishboy
A picture is worth a thousand words - sometimes considerably more than a thousand.
ded
"Ok, there's only two ways to get crushed around here and if..ha, I mean when you figure them out your orientation period will be over."
xiquiripat
Warning: Do not shove these things up your ass. If you do you will likely a horrible and vastly amusing death.
Vasher666
Once you've entered the Triangle of Tutankhamun be sure to identify the snake-entwined pillars and chant the ancient snake words or you will be turned into a tractor.... Sorry, that's how Tut wants it man.
Fuzzles
"Now, so long as no one has any questions, i shall turn on the machine" *Presses button* "Oh wait a minute, OH GOD NO, HELP!!"
InkFiest
Try as he did. Josh just couldn't get little eric to stop copying everything he did.
psychogirl7
Why is it that people always feel the need to mock statues in pictures with them? That man that's stuck in the wall is making a mockery of that poor statue kid
Frolly
As everyone stares in wonder at the statue, Earl sees his chance to finally pick his nose.
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