Back in November, the New York Times ran an article by Neil Genzlinger, renowned name-haver. In it, he talked about how the sitcom is dead and how all of the stories have been told and how comedy is dead and how there's nothing new anymore and how all of the things everywhere are dead.
I agreed with him at first, because sometimes I have to actively stop myself from being cynical. But there's a reason stories are told over and over, and it's not because creativity is dead and God is dead and everything in all the places is dead. It's because, for one, everything is a remix. But also there are important stories that everyone should hear except NEWSFLASH CALL THE NEWS PEOPLE most kids hate old things. Some punk kid isn't going to go on Netflix or WebWatcher and watch Old-Ass Thing. Some punk kid is going to watch Some Bullshit New Thing. Or something better, maybe. Who knows with these punk kids nowadays?
But I'll talk later about TV and Whitney and how super good I bet it is. Here, I'm talking about the final film in the Harry Potter series, a story of bravery and friendship and right and wrong and good and evil and magic and other stuff, probably. It's an old story, but it's this generation's old story. Not since the original Star Wars trilogy has a saga seen so filled with OMG THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING LETS WEAR THE COSTUMES AND WAIT IN THE LINES AND BUY THE TOYS AND MAKE THE FUCKING GIFS. Harry Potter is everywhere, and it ended this year.
But even though it's over, it is here to stay. It is the new Star Wars. For decades to come, people will be making Voldemort jokes and rewatching Harry Potter and hoping they make more Harry Potter and regretting that they made more Harry Potter. It's the newest version of the same old story we've seen. The only difference is that J.K. Rowling wears way less flannel, and instead of Vader being Luke's dad, Snape kills Dumbledore.
There is an article on Cracked by David Wong about what he calls the Monkeysphere and here I am going to paraphrase it for you, poorly. It refers to the idea that our former monkey biology keeps us from "caring" about people outside of our close monkey pack. Which is to say, we are biologically predisposed to not giving a shit about more than, say, 150 people. Any more than that, and it's just hard for our monkey brains to fathom the importance, because they are not our family or friends or mailman or any of the 150 monkeys we would consider to be people that affect us in our everyday monkey lives.
It's just something we have left over, and it's definitely more prevalent in certain people than others. But it is something in our DNA that exists, and now that the Internet is here, the 150 monkeys we know have skyrocketed into millions and millions of fucking monkeys. Our community is the whole planet now.
This Monkeysphere condition is at the root of the problems being protested by the Occupy Movement. It lies at almost all of the problems our planet faces: poverty, war, racism and so on, until it's all boiled down to "people are jerks, man." Because people are jerks, man. Just look at [anything]. It's due to our terrible monkey brains.
And even though people are incredible jerks on the Internet, I think the Internet will help us turn our Monkeysphere into a peoplesphere. It connects us so quickly and effortlessly, and it makes progress exponentially faster. One day our constant interconnectivity will cause more people to be able to say, "Oh, hey. I'm not the only person here. Oh. Hey. There are, like, tons of fucking people here. Oh. Hey. Let's share more, and like each other better, because at least we're not filthy fucking monkeys, covered in each other's shit thanks to us just literally throwing our own shit at each other." Figuratively, too, I'm sure.
Also, yes, sign this fucking petition to save Community. The show, not the word.
#SixSeasonsAndAMovie #ButReally4SeasonsWouldBeFine #BecauseThatIsHowLongCollegeTakes #AndEvenThenCommunityCollegeTakes2Years #OccupySomeStuffToo #InFactOccupyAllTheThings
With the success of the hilarious Bridesmaids, the smart cookies behind great things decided that "a funny movie that focuses on funny women" meant "let's make some pretty standard television with nerdorable star Zooey (sp?) Deschanel(sp?) and also this Whitney girl. Let's give her 2 shows, in fact."
"That sounds like one 2 many shows," other female comedians mentioned, probably.
The Jokedorable Whitney spawned 2 Broke Girls and Whitney and the Girls (later shortened to just And the Girls [later fixed to just Whitney]). Here's what I think a full episode of 2 Broke Girls is like, because apparently I was feeling like a real prick on the day I made it:
In the spirit of community and the holiday season, I just want to say that I'm sure everyone who works on the show is really wonderful. I haven't even seen it, so, you know, fuck me, I'm terrible. I've honestly only seen JUST over an episode of The New Girl. I'm not interested in watching 2 Broke Girls in the same way I'm not interested in watching Two and a Half Men. Meanwhile, there are the female-centric Parks and Recreation and 30 Rock, which are two of the best shows on right now. That's how TV is regardless of gender. 1 percent incredible and 99 percent not very incredible at all. And I promise I won't relate this to the #Occupy Movement even though I totally could and it would be awesome for at least a little bit. But for the purposes of this, I will just say let's bring on more of The Adoragirl Gals so we can get more KNOPE 2012s. Because for every 1 Liz Lemon, we've got 99 Whitneys, and a bitch ain't one, nor is a bitch 99. None of them are bitches. Yeesh. Something about 99 balloons. #Occupy Balloons. The end.