Cody Johnston

Person: George Lucas

To best illustrate my point, here's a gif of a scene from the Star Wars 'Darth Senile' Edition 2032 BluRay.

Internet Clip: Serene Branson and the Maybe On-Air Stroke

One thing the Internet loves (aside from more cats forever) is LOLing out loud and ROFLing its fucking ass off at other people's failures. People getting hurt.

Earlier this year, reporter Serene Branson started a sentence. Then something happened and she finished her sentence, but not with human words. Watch below.

Within minutes, two things happened. An ambulance was called, and the video went viral thanks to the hilarious word vomit spewing from blondie's gob. There was concern she had a stroke on air, but also lulz at the scared gibbering lady. No need to wait a day to see if she's okay you can already see she's not. It wasn't just some on-air flub where the reporter got marble-mouthed or nervous. Something was wrong, and you could tell by the look of terror in Serene's eyes. Ironic name, I suppose.

As it turns out, Branson suffered from a bad migraine, and that's why her words weren't words. So, yeah, I guess laugh it up because she didn't have a stroke, but also why? I mean, objectively, yeah, the video is pretty funny, because, seriously, those aren't words. But this woman went through a real ordeal on the air, and maybe instead of IMMEDIATELY laughing at the hilarious loser for failing, we could be a nice little Internet community and not be insensitive dicks about it. As we all know, insensitive dicks are useless because nothing can get them to cum.

Word: Community

There is an article on Cracked by David Wong about what he calls the Monkeysphere and here I am going to paraphrase it for you, poorly. It refers to the idea that our former monkey biology keeps us from "caring" about people outside of our close monkey pack. Which is to say, we are biologically predisposed to not giving a shit about more than, say, 150 people. Any more than that, and it's just hard for our monkey brains to fathom the importance, because they are not our family or friends or mailman or any of the 150 monkeys we would consider to be people that affect us in our everyday monkey lives.

It's just something we have left over, and it's definitely more prevalent in certain people than others. But it is something in our DNA that exists, and now that the Internet is here, the 150 monkeys we know have skyrocketed into millions and millions of fucking monkeys. Our community is the whole planet now.

This Monkeysphere condition is at the root of the problems being protested by the Occupy Movement. It lies at almost all of the problems our planet faces: poverty, war, racism and so on, until it's all boiled down to "people are jerks, man." Because people are jerks, man. Just look at [anything]. It's due to our terrible monkey brains.

And even though people are incredible jerks on the Internet, I think the Internet will help us turn our Monkeysphere into a peoplesphere. It connects us so quickly and effortlessly, and it makes progress exponentially faster. One day our constant interconnectivity will cause more people to be able to say, "Oh, hey. I'm not the only person here. Oh. Hey. There are, like, tons of fucking people here. Oh. Hey. Let's share more, and like each other better, because at least we're not filthy fucking monkeys, covered in each other's shit thanks to us just literally throwing our own shit at each other." Figuratively, too, I'm sure.

Also, yes, sign this fucking petition to save Community. The show, not the word.

#SixSeasonsAndAMovie #ButReally4SeasonsWouldBeFine #BecauseThatIsHowLongCollegeTakes #AndEvenThenCommunityCollegeTakes2Years #OccupySomeStuffToo #InFactOccupyAllTheThings

Photo: Gifs

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