If St. Patrick's Day Had Greeting Cards

Valentine's Day has cards. So, why not St Patrick's Day? Oh ... right.

Action Hero Showdown: Why John Rambo is the Baddest Man Ever Captured on Film

Before we all hit the theater to watch him punch off some heads, we might as well make it official with this rerun...

Marvel Comics vs. Science: 5 of the Most Absurd Superhero Origins

Superheroes all share a unifying trait: their origins don't actually make an ounce of sense.

8 Summer Blockbusters Guaranteed to Disappoint

Some compelling reasons why you should stay indoors until September.

Three Things George Clooney Really Likes

George Clooney responds to Teen People Magazine's popular “Three Things I Like” feature.

Bat Battle: Who's The Best Movie Batman?

In honor of Dark Knight, a look back at the showdown.

5 Completely Unnecessary Direct-to-DVD Movie Sequels

Leprechauns in space, invisible Christian Slaters and bringing it on... again!

An Alcohol Coma: Your Ticket To a Good Night's Sleep

Years of research on my part have led to the discovery of a sure-fire insomnia cure.

Comedies That Should Have Been Awesome (And Weren't)

We take a look at some of the "Should Have Beens" and "Almost Wases" of the comedy world.

Things I Learned in Prison (Rape-Related and Otherwise)

Doing time is no picnic. Specifically, no picnics from Monday to Saturday.

Action Hero Showdown: Who's The Biggest Bad Ass to Ever Appear on Film?

In honor of the fourth Rambo, a rerun about the biggest bad asses to ever appear on celluloid.

St. Patrick's Day Greeting Cards

St. Valentine shouldn't be the only religious figure to get exploited.

St. Patrick's Day Exposed

Our investigative report on the elusive and mysterious holiday.

Trailer Trash: Cruel Reviews of Upcoming Movies

Why go see a movie when you can hastily dismiss it based on its ridiculous trailer?

Just-Announced Recalls for Celebrity-Endorsed Products

Which celeb-approved goods you've just purchased might be potentially unsafe.

Things Val Kilmer Whispers to Himself in the Shower

The title is pretty self-explanatory on this one, actually.

Introducing the Larry Holmes GrillMaster XL!

You can take that to the LAKE.

6 Insane Christmas Traditions From Around the World

Crazy Christmas customs in backwards, non-American (i.e. inferior) countries.

So You've Been Pushed Naked Out of a Plane

A classic from the archives.

Proper Grooming With Steve T. Ape

If you're like me, you spend a lot of time grooming. You no doubt stand in front of the mirror for hours on end, combing the hair in your underarms until the curls are full, bouncy and lustrous. You also can probably get lost for hours picking chiggers and ticks out of the course hairs on your arm. You are also probably an ape.

Stupendous Man Returns

Faster than a package of bullets! Able to leap tall buildings like a tall building leaping machine! Fathered by a slow-witted bigot who tried to kill him!

The 8 Best "Guilty Pleasure" Comedies of All-Time

Eight great comedies that are so embarrassing to own, you need to hide them behind the toilet when you have friends over.

The Da Vinci Conundrum

Intrigue! Religion! Paintings! Cracked sends up the new Tom Hanks thriller in this all-new comic.

Some Helpful Suggestions For My Boss

If you can't see me masturbating at work as an asset instead of a liability there is no hope for you in upper management.

How To Do Your Taxes

Ever wonder how to beat the IRS? Like within an inch of its life? Well friend, you've come to the right place.

Order Now!

Have we ever got a deal for you! That is, if you're in need of novelty flashlights and magnifying glasses.

Dorfeldt

Jay Pinkerton confirms what you've always suspected of the comic world's most famous cat lover.

St. Patrick's Day Greeting Cards

After all, St. Valentine shouldn't be the only religious figure to get exploited for billions of dollars by the Hallmark corporation.

Dusk-Man!

A routine theater shooting turns deadly! Read the thrilling origin of Dusk-Man in this comic.

Cracked's Oscar Rundown (Part Two)

Don’t look like an ass at that Oscar party you're dreading.

Cracked's Oscar Rundown (Part One)

It's never easy to predict Oscar winners, especially if you didn't bother to actually see any of the films.

Spring Movie Preview

18 Spring movies and why you would be a moron to go see them.

Contested Pieces from Frey Memoir

CRACKED has excerpted some of the more contested passages from James Frey's memoir A Million Little Pieces

Review: Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World

Albert Brooks has a knack for presenting a nice idea, then ignoring it in favor of a self-inflicted colonoscopy.

Wire-Tapping For Freedom

Jay Pinkerton shows you how the whole wire-tap fiasco got its start--with pictures and words together.

Stupendous Man, Volume 2

This summer, everyone's favorite super hero returns to the big screen. Here's a look at how he got his start.

Stupendous Man, Volume 1

He's faster than a speeding bullet, and his father was a slow-witted bigot who tried to kill him.

So You're Being Attacked by C.H.U.D.

We've all been there. We had better start dealing with it, because C.H.U.D. are not going away.

Jay Pinkerton takes a crack at A Christmas Carol

Our own Jay Pinkerton with a second interpretation of Dickens' Christmas classic.

Bloomberg's Transit Strike Contingency Plan

The New York transit strike is OVER. You made it through alive.

CRACKED FAQ:
The Chronicles of Narnia

Wondering if you should spend your money on The Chronicles of Narnia? Wonder no more!

How to Speak to Brazilian Women

Don’t take that chloroform soaked cloth out of your pocket just yet. Learn to woo .