Hate Cracked? WE'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO BETTER! Seriously.

Put your dick jokes where your mouth is.

5 Ways to Stop Trolls From Killing the Internet

Can't wait to see the comments on this one.

The 7 Commandments All Video Games Should Obey

Gamers are a vengeful god.

7 Viral Videos You Didn't Know Were Staged (and How They Did It)

The internet lies like an unfaithful woman.

2007: Seven Things We Should Pretend Never Happened

To the people who write the history books ... we're going to need a favor.

10 Things Christians and Atheists Can (And Must) Agree On

Cracked's very own David Wong decided to solve this whole religion thing once and for all.

A Gamer's Manifesto

Some very reasonable demands for the gaming industry.

Embrace the Horror

No matter what you think this is, it isn't.

30 Reasons Eminem is Bad for Music

Are you an Eminem fan? Well, you're wrong.

Which is the Greatest Trilogy?

Star Wars vs. The Matrix vs. Lord of the Rings

Was 9/11 an Inside Job?

Part conspiracy theory, part retarded internet meme.

50 Reasons Lord of the Rings Sucks

We dare you to disagree.

Life after the Video Game Crash

It's coming.

The 10 Steps to Porn Addiction: Where Are You?

How long can you last?

The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

Can we have a moment of your time to tell you just how much ass the Bible kicks?

Grossly Inaccurate Review: The Hulk

We brought in a panel to tackle this one. "This site always shoots for a certain level of maturity, not jokes aimed at those who are thirteen or stoked to the gills on reefer cigarettes."

Grossly Inaccurate Review: The Punisher

Written by esteemed film expert Dr. Albert Oxford. "Comic books are masturbation..."

Grossly Inaccurate Review: Underworld

Our fake review was actually a lot less stupid than the real movie.

Grossly Inaccurate Review: Terminator 3

Dr. Oxford once again. "'Ass?' I demanded. 'Ass ass the ass manager?'

Grossly Inaccurate Review: Van Helsing

"An interesting piece of genre fun. And by 'genre fun' I mean 'shit'"

Grossly Inaccurate Movie Reviews: Star Trek: Nemesis

"If there are any lifeforms out there, we could no more make peace with them than we could befriend a jellyfish. Their communication would be through a series of intricately-shaped clouds of flesh-burning enzymes..."

Grossly Inaccurate Review: Chamber of Secrets

"Yes, there is racism in the film... but is there enough?"

Grossly Inaccurate Review: Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

We were still a little too easy on it...

Grossly Inaccurate Review: Star Wars Attack of the Clones - DVD

John, with a little help from the Digital Underground.

10 Things Christians and Atheists Can (And Must) Agree On

I decided to solve this whole religion thing once and for all.

The 12 Awesomest Games of 2010

This gaming generation is just getting started. Where will it end up?

Harry Potter Book Disguises

Love Harry Potter? Now you can read without shame.

The Ultimate War Simulation Game

We're talking real war here, protesters and everything.

Is Tupac Shakur Still Alive?

My shocking investigation.

The Ten Minute Suicide Guide

Thinking about suicide? Give me ten minutes.

A World of Warcraft World: 10 Ways Online Gaming Will Change the Future

Thomas Edison said it best, "Change happens with ball-flattening speed."

5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

After reading this, you might want to board up your windows and load up your shotgun.

The 10 Best Sci-Fi Films Never Made

Somewhere, in some alternate universe, there is an Alien 3 that's not terrible, and maybe even a Doom game that was made with some actual effort. Instead, we just have this article.

The Next 25 Years of Video Games

These are the games your kids will be playing, and that you will be frightened of.

What is the Monkeysphere?

Want to know the answer to all the world's problems? Look inside a monkey.

7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable

Some days, the Internet reads like humanity's huge, whiny suicide note. Here's why.

The 10 Most Awesome Movies Hollywood Ever Killed

Ten films tragically cut down before their time.

Do-It-Yourself Crotch Bulges

So what should you be stuffing in your pants this fall? Our top five bulges.

The Horror Behind The Comedy

That charming little scene from your favorite comedy could spell intestinal parasites, third degree burns and sperm toxicity.