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Up!


Round to the Up

ROUND UP!

Round Up Round Up Round Up

On your mark, get set, ROUND UP!

Braaaainnnssss.

Rrrrrooouunnnddddd UP!

Round Up!

Pants.

Round up!

pu-dnuoR



So darn good, aw heck poop!



Round up Round up Round up!



Red, White and Round-Up!



Hand grenade-shaped candy!

The best kind of hallucinations.




Itch from us to you!




And what do we put HERE?

The only article it takes us a week to write.

It's the round-up.

The only article it takes us a week to make.

A round up! Dammit!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls...

That means butt.

Come on, you'll love it.

Bursting with homoeroticism!

More like Cracked Bauer, right?

Just a humble, average, wealthy Harvard dropout.

Made by zombies. For zombies.


Exactly like the 2008 round-ups!

And here we are, making it worse!

Seriously, just close the internet and turn off your computer.

Almost

Vaseline!

Boobs!

You mean it's expensive AND useless? Awesome!

Thanks for blah blah blah.

The only article it takes us a week to write.

Like, Cracked + Saturday.

Holy Crap a Round-Up!

No more politics after this, we swear.

Holy Crap it's a friggin' Round-Up!

SEX!

Also, no more Nickelback.

The only article it takes us a week to make.

Also, a round-up.



Cracked.com is giving away an iPod Touch, and we're doing it for a good cause: to make Facebook less annoying.

We don't really get the title either.

The only article it takes a whole week to write.

The only article it takes us a week to write.

Finally, some time off.

You'll never take our Round-up!

A contest! For money!

See that? This title almost rhymes.

You've been waiting all week for this.

The iPhone is laughing at these six.

What a miserable week.
Christopher Nolan's Gotham in your hand!
Check out more from Black 20.

Our forefathers would have loved this round-up.

Not quite as useful as "look both ways."

We have lots of sexy articles for you to meet.

Summer and the Round-up, the two most anticipated events in anyone's life.


Birthdays, Birthdays, Birthdays!

These could be worse than Hulk.

We are so so so sorry.

It took us a week to write this article and you're damn sure gonna read it.

"Now let's see how we can make this film worse."
Can you handle an entire week's worth of comedy?

You forgot a gift, didn't you? Typical.

Guys, sometimes simple is better.

It actually makes perfect sense.

Gridlock!

If we had articles about birds or curds, this would really have been quite a week.
You'll never guess what's in between.

Sometimes, running is better.

It's been a truly historic month.
Which parts of this title have nothing to do with the round-up? Find out!

The six people you're going to want to choke out by the time the Final Four roles around.

Don't mess with the Cracked audience.
Just because it's the weekend doesn't mean you shouldn't sit in front of the computer reading our articles.

An entire week's worth of comedy: Are you a bad enough dude to handle all of that? Are you?!

Everything that's happened this week has been building towards this glorious moment.

What if the people accepting the awards weren't professional liars?

The contents of this article will make up for the presents you didn't get this week.

Some thoughts are best left in the subtext.

Just because the Patriots lost doesn't mean you shouldn't check out our round-up. It just means the Patriots suck.

Not only are they not "frequent," but most just barely qualify as questions.

Find out who's crazy and why, (Dirt McGirt, Rich People and you all make the list).

Just like every other round-up, but with a bonus forum contest!


We would have told you how the movies were, but we were too frightened to get past the titles.

We've crammed a week's worth of comedy into just one article. Dangerous? Maybe, but we don't play by the rules.

A week's worth of comedy gently crammed into one article.


We're ringing in the new year by doing exactly what we did last year.
Everyone seems to be doing year-end lists; we might as well jump on the bandwagon.

Have talent? Own a camera? Let's talk.
Instead of getting you something new for Christmas, we've gone back and re-wrapped a bunch of old gifts that we already gave you.

We tell you the truth because we love you. Or, because the Cracked Christmas party was last night and we're still a little drunk.

The Kindle, childhood toys, and Vanilla Ice: If you liked any of these things at any point in your life, we're here to remind you just how foolish you are.



If you like comic books, history and video games, there's probably something in this week's roundup for you. Also, you're probably a nerd.

We've crammed a lot into this week's rundown. Yes even ear magnets.

Aspiring writers, some day your novel may star Sylvester Stallone.
What would really happen to that iPhone pilot?

Cracked covers the day's headlines, including the writers' strike in Hollywood, the stagehands' strike on Broadway, Jerry Seinfeld in Israel, and other pressing world issues.

A food coma is just like a real coma except that it's still OK to laugh if your whole family is in a food coma.

Want to get in on the Cracked party before the cops shut it down? Click here.

The only time you'll ever find guys from New Jersey, and hot women who read books in the same place!

Is it possible to speak correctly without sounding like a dick? We try to help you strike that balance.

The only article it takes us seven days to write.

Please, let's not act like this "Dumbledore is gay" thing represents something new.

Remember all those Star Trek gadgets you wished you had because they looked so cool? Well, it turns out looking cool is about all they'd be good for.
A look back at a hilariously twisted week on Cracked.com.

Some directors make the occasional bad choice. Some like to experiment. Some just lose their freaking minds.

You may not get to choose your own death, but these scenes will make you wish you could.

And you thought nothing could be worse than last week's "Hardy-Har-Hardiovascular Disease." Never doubt us again.

We continue with our article-summarizing ways with this Saturday's rundown of the week that was.
We have a lot of RSS feeds to choose from. Pick one, or try them all! Not to be used in salads.
Here at Cracked, we're extremely excited for the DVD release of Fido. The more cynical among you have suggested that our excitement stems from an ad campaign currently running on our site advertising the zombie comedy (which the New York Times calls a �tickilishly amusing satire�).

So, let's get this straight: A baseball player gets caught using steroids, and suddenly Congress puts the whole government on hold to have hearings about it. But, if a rapper uses steroids, apparently we're supposed to think it's no big deal

John Frusciante writes that the hardest thing about being a famous rock star is that people get sick of you. The only solution is to keep coming back as somebody else. After all, think of how quickly the world would have buried the Beastie Boys if they'd trotted out five albums that sounded like License to Ill.

We do a weekly round-up of our articles. Weakly.
Behold: Cracked 2.0! A site so jam-packed with new features, you'd think we did something other than churn out Digg-baiting top 10 lists. This is what happens when a bunch of dudes wind up with literally hundreds of dollars in investor money to spend. We yanked the wheels off the car and replaced them with hundreds of cardboard rocket engines, then parked that sucker on the edge of a cliff.

The only article that takes us seven days to write.

The only article it takes us seven days to write.

The only article that takes us 7 days to write.

The Lamest TV Show Adaptations Ever

The best in CRACKED for the week.

According to the movies, your computer possesses near-magic powers.

The best articles and video from the past week.

Bad recurring SNL characters are like herpes. Trust us, we know.

For the sake of protecting this great nation, we present the top eight American pretenders.

The past week's Internet content from CRACKED's Internet content providers.

The only CRACKED article that takes us seven days to write.

A CRACKED "Week in Review" or "Weekly Round-up" or "Saturday Grabbag." Call it what you will.

Six reasons why the popular children's series has always had its dark side.

The most pointless Transformers in history.

We pick up ESPN's Bill Simmons' gauntlet.

Prostitution may be the oldest profession, but masturbation is the oldest pastime.

If movies were college, a few screenwriters would be taking a trip to the Dean's office.

Have you actually watched any of these recently?

As the years pass, ideas for shows get harder to come by.

We're not going to take these artists' claims at face value anymore.

For a second time this season, scandalous photos of an American Idol contestant.

Her Weeping Mug snagged America's heart like a baby down a well.

Not every literary classic has to be as dry as a mummy’s crotch.

20 great songs that received sound butcherings by artists who should've known better.

Some of our favorite moments from Aziz, Paul and Rob up to this point.

Well, we gave it our best shot.

Get weird with the tall drink of water behind Stella, The State and Wet Hot American
Summer.

Like watching the actual Oscars, but without having to endure Ellen Degeneres.

The best scenes (yet) from one of the most underrated comedies on television.

We sat down with the star of Reno 911! and the upcoming theatrical release Reno
911!: Miami and asked him six questions about being Officer Garcia. To our great surprise, he
answered them.

Because nothing says "I Love You" like guilt-motivated spending dictated by a faceless holiday.

Five of our favorite sketches from the classic HBO show.

CRACKED presents the five worst ads that $2.6 million could buy this year.


Here's what you will-and won't-see when you turn on your TV this Super Bowl Sunday, as the biggest, baddest noise machine on Earth rolls into Miami.

While all TV shows require a certain suspension of disbelief, 24 is growing especially far fetched with each new season. In order to enjoy 24: Day Six here are four things that you’re going to have
to be willing to believe.

We out the biggest wusses on today’s rock scene.

What do we really know about this Santa Claus anyways?

A group of Hassidic Jews and Jesus Christ have a chance encounter on the streets of New York.

We crown the most ridiculous performances in the four major movie-sports.

Answer the trivia questions correctly for a chance to win cool prizes...

Jesus’ No. 1 concern: the outcome of professional sporting events.

We give you the rundown on the 15 funniest entertainers of 2006.

You could decorate your house with ghosts and goblins, but here are some Halloween decorations for those of you looking to put the fear of God into trick-or-treaters this year.


Behind every raging athlete is a wrathful coach with a hair-trigger temper showing them what temporary insanity is all about. Here are five of the best at their most furious.

A national stage has emerged for those men and women who delight in ridiculing complete strangers via telephone: cable television.

President Bush offers confidential advice to GOP candidates on where they should stand on the big issues.

For a short period of time during the 1980s, the technique of plugging a music video into the middle of movies was elevated to an art form.

CRACKED recently managed to get our hands on some audition tapes of Proactive-using celebrities that failed their auditions for their own Proactive commercials.

Here are five classic anti-drug ads, our analysis of what they set out to do and the unintended consequences they actually had.

You get older. You can't hack it anymore. Yes, even great comedians.

Much is made about athletes putting performance-enhancing chemicals in their bodies, but what about the good folks in Hollywood we look to for our non-sports entertainment?

How should CBS' newest anchorette say goodnight?

"Tom Cruise is a Dad, now! Let's put him on our cover," say the Vanity Fair editors.

Foreign people tend to get offended when you yell at them in American in an attempt to be understood. If you want to really offend them, here's how to do it in their language.

While any drinking game can be hard on your liver, CRACKED decided to create some movie drinking games that are just plain hard.

Freud says that your first romantic love interest is your mother, but for us it was these archetypal '80s movie girlfriends.

CRACKED's relentless onslaught on Hollywood's biggest and stupidest blockbusters continues!

Part one of CRACKED's massive summer movie coverage starts here! Find out what's coming out this summer, and why you shouldn't see it!

Get used to looking at these gums, motherfuckers!

If you're not watching Joel McHale on The Soup you're missing one of the funniest shows on TV
right now.

“Will there be snakes?†“What’s all this about a plane?†You no longer have to live in the dark. We've got answers.

Thank You For Smoking is a gleeful little piece of nihilism and a very smart comedy.

The Oscar acceptance speeches some very famous actors wanted to give.

Comedian Dan Levy talks about his start in comedy, Hulk Hogan's hot daughter, and why Erie, Pa sucks.

Kevin Federline explains the "magic web of romance" to his newborn son.