Cracked Round-Up: A Plea To Our Readers

Up!

Cracked Round-Up: Post-Party Edition

Round to the Up

Cracked Round-Up: Monkey Edition

ROUND UP!

Cracked Round-Up: DIY Edition

Round Up Round Up Round Up

Cracked Round-Up: Fall Edition

On your mark, get set, ROUND UP!

Cracked Round-Up: Undead Edition

Braaaainnnssss.

Cracked Round-Up: Intervention Edition

Rrrrrooouunnnddddd UP!

Cracked Round-Up: Rainy Day Edition

Round Up!

Cracked Round-Up: We Wore Pants For This One

Pants.

Cracked Round-Up: Recession Edition?

Round up!

Cracked Round-Up: SdrawkcaB noitide.

pu-dnuoR

Cracked Round-up: PG Edition

So darn good, aw heck poop!

Cracked Round-Up: Canada Edition.

Round up Round up Round up!

Cracked Round-Up: PATRIOTISM Edition.

Red, White and Round-Up!

10 Things That Will Not End Well

Hand grenade-shaped candy!

CRACKED ROUND-UP: Now with Bowel-Disrupting Hallucinations.

The best kind of hallucinations.

The Cracked Round-Up: Now With VD!

Itch from us to you!

OH GOD WHAT DO WE PUT HERE: THE ROUND-UP

And what do we put HERE?

SEX BAGELS EXPOSE: A CRACKED ROUND-UP.

The only article it takes us a week to write.

CRACKED IN TIME! A ROUND-UP

It's the round-up.

CRACKED CURES CAVITIES: A ROUND-UP OF DENTASTICAL PROPORTIONS

The only article it takes us a week to make.

CRACKED: HOME OF THE GRAND SLAM BREAKFAST COMBO

A round up! Dammit!

CRACKED'S COMEDIC CAVALCADE: A ROUND UP.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls...

ANGELINA JOLIE HAS BLEACHED HER ANUS: (A Cracked Round-Up)

That means butt.

Hey Man, Want a Hit of Cracked?

Come on, you'll love it.

Cracked Round-Up: Highway to the danger zone! (of Comedy)

Bursting with homoeroticism!

A 24 Cracked Round-Up

More like Cracked Bauer, right?

6 Inspiring Rags to Riches Stories (That Are Bullshit)

Just a humble, average, wealthy Harvard dropout.

A Zombie Round-Up

Made by zombies. For zombies.

The First Round-Up of 2009

Exactly like the 2008 round-ups!

The 12 Most Embarrassing Photos of 2008

And here we are, making it worse!

Don't Read This Round-Up

Seriously, just close the internet and turn off your computer.

An Almost Christmas Round-Up

Almost

Vaseline! The Cracked Round-Up

Vaseline!

Black Holes, Books and Boobs: The Round-up!

Boobs!

The 6 Most Retarded Gaming Consoles Ever Released

You mean it's expensive AND useless? Awesome!

A Thanksgiving Cracked Round-Up

Thanks for blah blah blah.

Ernest Goes To Round-Up

The only article it takes us a week to write.

The Crackedurday Comedy Round-Up

Like, Cracked + Saturday.

A Silly Time Cracked Round-Up

Holy Crap a Round-Up!

Cracked's Election Round-Up

No more politics after this, we swear.

The Cracked Round-Up!

Holy Crap it's a friggin' Round-Up!

SEX! (The Cracked Round Up)

SEX!

7 Music Trends Whose Return Must Be Stopped

Also, no more Nickelback.

A Political Cracked Round-Up of Politics

The only article it takes us a week to make.

The Winner of the Cracked Facebook Contest

Also, a round-up.

Help Save Facebook From Idiots and Win an iPod Touch!

Cracked.com is giving away an iPod Touch, and we're doing it for a good cause: to make Facebook less annoying.

Holy Disgusting Holes, Jesus! The Round-up!

We don't really get the title either.

A Real-Life Comic Book Round-Up!

The only article it takes a whole week to write.

A Back to School Round-Up!

The only article it takes us a week to write.

A Labor Day Weekend Round-Up!

Finally, some time off.

Freedom! The Cracked Round-Up!

You'll never take our Round-up!

A Sexy Cracked Round-Up, with a Bonus Contest!

A contest! For money!

Violence, Science And High-ness: The Round-Up!

See that? This title almost rhymes.

A Psychedelic Space Rock Round-Up From the Future

You've been waiting all week for this.

Tech Zombies: 6 Technologies That Don't Know They're Dead

The iPhone is laughing at these six.

A Slightly Depressing Round-Up

What a miserable week.

Why All The Cool Kids Want Dark Knight Action Figures

Christopher Nolan's Gotham in your hand!

Check out more from Black 20.

An Independent Round-Up

Our forefathers would have loved this round-up.

5 Terrible Life Lessons Hollywood Loves to Teach You

Not quite as useful as "look both ways."

A Big Sexy Beautiful Cracked Round-Up!

We have lots of sexy articles for you to meet.

A Cracked Summer Round-Up!

Summer and the Round-up, the two most anticipated events in anyone's life.

A Cracked Birthday Round-Up

Birthdays, Birthdays, Birthdays!

20 Superhero Movies We Hope They Never Make

These could be worse than Hulk.

A Very Sorry Cracked Round-Up

We are so so so sorry.

A Very Smokey Cracked Round-Up

It took us a week to write this article and you're damn sure gonna read it.

5 Awesome Movies Ruined By Last-Minute Changes

"Now let's see how we can make this film worse."

A Cracked Royal Round-Up

Can you handle an entire week's worth of comedy?

A Very Special Cracked Mother's Day Round-Up

You forgot a gift, didn't you? Typical.

The 5 Most Needlessly Complex Terror Plots in Film History

Guys, sometimes simple is better.

Cracked and Margaret Thatcher: Together in the Round Up!

It actually makes perfect sense.

Cracked's Traffic Jam of Comedy!

Gridlock!

Words, Nerds and Turds: The Cracked Round-Up!

If we had articles about birds or curds, this would really have been quite a week.

Presidents, Penises and Everything in Between: The Round-Up!

You'll never guess what's in between.

The 13 Most Irresponsible Self Defense Gadgets Money Can Buy

Sometimes, running is better.

The Last Round-up of Cracked History Month

It's been a truly historic month.

Books, Boobs and Biscuits: Cracked's Saturday Round-Up!

Which parts of this title have nothing to do with the round-up? Find out!

Usual Suspects: 6 Characters Who Ruin Every NCAA Office Pool

The six people you're going to want to choke out by the time the Final Four roles around.

CRACKED Defends Its Readers in the Round-Up!

Don't mess with the Cracked audience.

A Cracked History Month Round-Up!

Just because it's the weekend doesn't mean you shouldn't sit in front of the computer reading our articles.

A Cracked Round-Up AND a New Holiday!

An entire week's worth of comedy: Are you a bad enough dude to handle all of that? Are you?!

Feed Your Life-Destroying Cracked Habit with the Saturday Round-up!

Everything that's happened this week has been building towards this glorious moment.

If Oscar Acceptance Speeches Told The Truth

What if the people accepting the awards weren't professional liars?

A Freakin' Valentine's Weekend Round-up

The contents of this article will make up for the presents you didn't get this week.

If Valentine's Day Cards Were Honest ...

Some thoughts are best left in the subtext.

The Patriots Lost Last Week! (and Here's a Round-Up)

Just because the Patriots lost doesn't mean you shouldn't check out our round-up. It just means the Patriots suck.

12 Website FAQs We Suspect Aren't Asked That Frequently

Not only are they not "frequent," but most just barely qualify as questions.

A Cracked Round-up of Craziness!

Find out who's crazy and why, (Dirt McGirt, Rich People and you all make the list).

Action Figures, Action Stars and Action Douchebags: The Saturday Round-Up!

Just like every other round-up, but with a bonus forum contest!

The 15 Most Sexually Unappealing Porn Titles

We would have told you how the movies were, but we were too frightened to get past the titles.

Hugs, Bugs and Blogs: The Cracked Round-Up!

We've crammed a week's worth of comedy into just one article. Dangerous? Maybe, but we don't play by the rules.

Diets, Science and Lyin': A CRACKED Round-up That (Almost) Rhymes!

A week's worth of comedy gently crammed into one article.

CRACKED's First Round-up of 2008!

We're ringing in the new year by doing exactly what we did last year.

Gather Round and List[en]:A Very List-Filled Listy Cracked Round-Up of Lists!

Everyone seems to be doing year-end lists; we might as well jump on the bandwagon.

Turn Your Retarded Videos Into Cash With Cracked.com

Have talent? Own a camera? Let's talk.

Posts of Christmas Past

Instead of getting you something new for Christmas, we've gone back and re-wrapped a bunch of old gifts that we already gave you.

A Brutally Honest Cracked Round Up

We tell you the truth because we love you. Or, because the Cracked Christmas party was last night and we're still a little drunk.

A Very Critical CRACKED Round Up

The Kindle, childhood toys, and Vanilla Ice: If you liked any of these things at any point in your life, we're here to remind you just how foolish you are.

A Very Nerdy Cracked Round Up

If you like comic books, history and video games, there's probably something in this week's roundup for you. Also, you're probably a nerd.

Sex, Drugs and Ear Magnets: The CRACKED Run Down!

We've crammed a lot into this week's rundown. Yes even ear magnets.

8 Kick-Ass Movies You Didn't Know Were Based on Books

Aspiring writers, some day your novel may star Sylvester Stallone.

iPhone 'Delay' Parody

What would really happen to that iPhone pilot?

November 26th, 2007: News on Cracked

Cracked covers the day's headlines, including the writers' strike in Hollywood, the stagehands' strike on Broadway, Jerry Seinfeld in Israel, and other pressing world issues.

A Very CRACKED Holiday Rundown

A food coma is just like a real coma except that it's still OK to laugh if your whole family is in a food coma.

Are You Funny? Cracked Wants to Give You Cash

Want to get in on the Cracked party before the cops shut it down? Click here.

CRACKED's Got Humorquio Syndrome

The only time you'll ever find guys from New Jersey, and hot women who read books in the same place!

9 Words That Don't Mean What You Think

Is it possible to speak correctly without sounding like a dick? We try to help you strike that balance.

Cracked's Got Comedia Trachomatis

The only article it takes us seven days to write.

The Next 9 Children's Characters That Should Come Out of the Closet

Please, let's not act like this "Dumbledore is gay" thing represents something new.

5 Awesome Sci-Fi Inventions (That Would Actually Suck)

Remember all those Star Trek gadgets you wished you had because they looked so cool? Well, it turns out looking cool is about all they'd be good for.

Cracked's Got Humortoid Arthritis

A look back at a hilariously twisted week on Cracked.com.

9 Awesome Directors Who Temporarily Lost Their Mind

Some directors make the occasional bad choice. Some like to experiment. Some just lose their freaking minds.

7 Movie Deaths That Would Be Awesome to Have on Your Tombstone

You may not get to choose your own death, but these scenes will make you wish you could.

Cracked's Got Humorrhoids

And you thought nothing could be worse than last week's "Hardy-Har-Hardiovascular Disease." Never doubt us again.

Cracked's Hardy-Har -Hardiovascular Disease

We continue with our article-summarizing ways with this Saturday's rundown of the week that was.

Cracked offers a veritable slew of RSS feeds

We have a lot of RSS feeds to choose from. Pick one, or try them all! Not to be used in salads.

Fido Presents: Cracked's Top 7 Halloween Articles

Here at Cracked, we're extremely excited for the DVD release of Fido. The more cynical among you have suggested that our excitement stems from an ad campaign currently running on our site advertising the zombie comedy (which the New York Times calls a �tickilishly amusing satire�).

Celebrity Ripped Club: 8 Non-Athletes Who've Gotta Be On Steroids

So, let's get this straight: A baseball player gets caught using steroids, and suddenly Congress puts the whole government on hold to have hearings about it. But, if a rapper uses steroids, apparently we're supposed to think it's no big deal

15 Most Ill-Advised Career Reinventions in Rock Music History

John Frusciante writes that the hardest thing about being a famous rock star is that people get sick of you. The only solution is to keep coming back as somebody else. After all, think of how quickly the world would have buried the Beastie Boys if they'd trotted out five albums that sounded like License to Ill.

Cracked's Struggle With Humorbid Obesity: Our Weekly Round-Up

We do a weekly round-up of our articles. Weakly.

Top 8 Reasons the new Cracked.com Is Doomed to Fail

Behold: Cracked 2.0! A site so jam-packed with new features, you'd think we did something other than churn out Digg-baiting top 10 lists. This is what happens when a bunch of dudes wind up with literally hundreds of dollars in investor money to spend. We yanked the wheels off the car and replaced them with hundreds of cardboard rocket engines, then parked that sucker on the edge of a cliff.

CRACKED's Metastasized Humor

The only article that takes us seven days to write.

CRACKED Saturday Mirthquake

The only article it takes us seven days to write.

Cracked"s Comedy Tsunamedy

The only article that takes us 7 days to write.

The 5 Most Pointless Movie Adaptations of TV Shows

The Lamest TV Show Adaptations Ever

The Saturday Humorricane

The best in CRACKED for the week.

5 Things Hollywood Thinks Computers Can Do

According to the movies, your computer possesses near-magic powers.

The Saturday Dogpile of Laughter

The best articles and video from the past week.

The 10 Most Obnoxious Recurring SNL Characters

Bad recurring SNL characters are like herpes. Trust us, we know.

Treason! 8 Celebrities You Won"t Believe Aren"t American

For the sake of protecting this great nation, we present the top eight American pretenders.

The Saturday Dogpile of Yuks/Parade of Comedic Lists

The past week's Internet content from CRACKED's Internet content providers.

The CRACKED Saturday Humor Jam Session

The only CRACKED article that takes us seven days to write.

CRACKED's Weekly Humor Round-up Jubilee

A CRACKED "Week in Review" or "Weekly Round-up" or "Saturday Grabbag." Call it what you will.

Top 6 Reasons Harry Potter Isn't For Kids

Six reasons why the popular children's series has always had its dark side.

The 7 Most Useless Transformers Ever

The most pointless Transformers in history.

13 Movie Plots Rendered Ridiculous by Their Stars

We pick up ESPN's Bill Simmons' gauntlet.

The 15 Best Songs That Are Totally About Masturbation

Prostitution may be the oldest profession, but masturbation is the oldest pastime.

Attack of the Clones: Suspiciously Similar Movie Showdown

If movies were college, a few screenwriters would be taking a trip to the Dean's office.

11 Guy Movie Classics (And Why They Secretly Suck)

Have you actually watched any of these recently?

America's Worst New Reality Shows

As the years pass, ideas for shows get harder to come by.

The 15 Most Outrageous Claims in Pop Music History

We're not going to take these artists' claims at face value anymore.

American Idol Scandal: Sexy Sanjaya Pics Hit Web

For a second time this season, scandalous photos of an American Idol contestant.

20 Possible Reasons The American Idol Girl Was Crying

Her Weeping Mug snagged America's heart like a baby down a well.

Wit Lit 101: Five Classic Novels That Bring the Funny

Not every literary classic has to be as dry as a mummy’s crotch.

The 20 Worst Cover Songs in Pop Music History

20 great songs that received sound butcherings by artists who should've known better.

5 of the Funniest Moments from the Cast of Human Giant

Some of our favorite moments from Aziz, Paul and Rob up to this point.

R.I.P. Cracked Magazine

Well, we gave it our best shot.

5 of Michael Showalter's Funniest Moments

Get weird with the tall drink of water behind Stella, The State and Wet Hot American

Summer.

Cracked's 2007 Oscar Rundown

Like watching the actual Oscars, but without having to endure Ellen Degeneres.

The 10 Best Moments from RENO 911!

The best scenes (yet) from one of the most underrated comedies on television.

Reno: 911!'s Carlos Alzaraqui

We sat down with the star of Reno 911! and the upcoming theatrical release Reno
911!: Miami and asked him six questions about being Officer Garcia. To our great surprise, he
answered them.