Your Sheets Are Probably Gross, Here's Some New Ones

This piece was written by the people who run the Cracked Store to tell you about products that are being sold there.

Consider, if you will, all of the dirt you track into bed. Consider all of the sweat and dead skin caked into every thread of your pillowcase. Consider the dribbles of bodily deposits you carry with you as you crawl back in from a midnight bathroom trip. Consider all of the pretzel crumbs that infest your sleep palace like salty, delicious bacteria. With all of this in mind, you probably now realize that your sheets are long overdue for a replacement. Enter the iEnjoy Home six-piece sheet set.

The iEnjoy Home sheets are made from double-brushed microfibers that are twice as durable as cotton, so these sheets will withstand years of use and (say it with us now) regular washing. The fibers are hypoallergenic and antimicrobial, so that horrible gunk we spoke of earlier won't have time to nest in your sheets and irritate your allergies. They also create a breathable fabric that is soft and gentle on sensitive skin. If you wrap your mattress in a set of iEnjoy Home sheets, you'll feel like you're sleeping in an antiseptic cloud.

But perhaps the best thing about these sheets is the sleek and modern look that goes with any bedroom. (Unlike your current Spider-Man sheets, which, let's face it, needed to be retired about three Spider-Man movies ago.) Today's the best day to buy a set, because right now they're on sale for $28.99, a 71 percent markdown from the regular price of $99.99. That's a full set of sheets (fitted sheet, flat sheet, and four pillowcases), and you can get them in grey, taupe, white, and navy. Just please, for the sake of humanity, remember to throw them in the laundry once a week.

Looking for more ways to get cozy? Check out this Serenity Weighted Blanket. Tired of these fancy linens and just want something simple and traditional? This 4-Piece Classic Queen Sheet Set is for you.

Goodnight You Princes Of Maine, Kings Of The Cracked Store.