Have you ever wanted to write award-winning television, don't own a computer, typewriter, or pen, and yet are somehow reading this? Well, you're in luck! Just follow this simple guide, selecting scenes at random from within each section and rearranging them on a big board. Voila! Your very own episode of TV's House
. When finished, simply fold your board up and shove it under the door of a Hollywood Producer; you'll be rolling in Emmys in no time!*
*WARNING: rolling in Emmys is extremely painful.
When not writing for Cracked, Michael photoshops for Cracked as Head Writer and Co-Founder of Those Aren't Muskets!