Woody Allen, Laugh Tracks and A Guy Who Makes Dog Armor: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Awesome Video Of The DaySpeechless Hollywood
I get what United Hollywood is trying to get across with these spots, but I think watching Woody Allen sip coffee in a silent room for 22 minutes would actually be a pretty good show. If I were a television executive and somebody pitched that to me, I'd throw it on the air immediately. It'd be called That Woody! and it would generate billions of dollars in revenue, which I would use to finance a new gameshow where people get to keep all the money they can eat in one hour. I'd call that one Common Cents or GUTBUSTERZ!
Can somebody please tell me why I don't have my own TV network already?
Wildcard Week!The Pitbull Armory
What could be more geektastic and/or esoteric than LARPing? How about designing armor made specifically for LARPers' dogs?
"I love to make armor for women and animals but my goal is to provide people with zero to low maintenance armor that is lightweight and comfortable," this purveyor of custom-made "articulated pauldrons" says. "Are you tired of cleaning the rust off your mild steel armor and beating the dents out of it after every event? OF COURSE YOU ARE."
Pathetic? Maybe a little bit, but these amazing pictures of armored dogs more than make up for any underlying sense of loneliness and desperation. Besides, what did YOU do over the weekend? Watch reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond and sleepwalk through a halfhearted masturbation session? Even if it's making suits of armor for full-grown adults and their dogs to run around and play-fight in, at least this guy has a hobby.
erm I meant I sell the people armor...:0) Thanks and take care, The Pitbull
ReplyThanks for the good words guys.
ReplyI really wanted him to be a giant bearded viking who yells "MY WARES ARE FORGED FROM STEEL AND FLAME, I KNOW NOT OF YOUR MODERN WAYS!"
ReplyAnd then chops something in half with a two-headed axe for fun.
Is it wrong to want to sedate a bunch of squirrels, dress them in squirrel armor, and let them loose?
ReplyThat is singlehandedly the most awesome idea I've ever hear.
ReplyOh wait.... Desperate Housewives.
I've always wanted to do a show called "Celebrity Snatch" where various female celebrities come on and show their cooze to America.
ReplyUgh, I hate those "speechless" spots. Long gone are the days when it was hilarious for the Simpsons to completely shit on the writers on Krusty the Klown. They're just doing this for attention. If the directors go on strike or something, they'll stand slightly off-camera or walk into walls because they are all dumber than rocks. How many of these stars are paying for the salaries of the crews who got laid off? They should all put up or shut up.
ReplyI'd hate to see what he witnessed during a LARPing session that forced him to come up with that level of protection for a dog.
ReplyI guess Vick could have used this stuff. I can see it now, LARP's are going to have dog fighst rings in which their dogs have armour. But how cool would that be to see a an armored squirrel vs. an armored gerbil? Dogs, now that is cruel, but squirrel vs. gerbil-genius!
ReplyI only hope that he looks like the blacksmith from Army of Darkness, because that's what I imagine all blacksmiths to look.
ReplyI agree with Glendoor. While at first it sounds really nerdy, as far as nerdy hobbies goes you can't get much more manly than fucking armorsmithing:
ReplyWhat do you do for hobbies?
True nerd answer: I play video games and program computers.
Not so nerd answer: I make armor.
That just sounds way cooler by comparison.
Let me try that again, GODDAMN, does that guy have a hobby!! I saw that squirrel armor link and thought "Damn, how in the hell do you put a squirrel in armor without ,oh I don't know, getting bit but like 90 million times." Then I saw the squirrel was stuffed. I wasn't quite as impressed.
ReplyThen I clicked on the women link and saw that for ten extra dollars
your woman's metal bra can have nipples put on it. That is the aptly named "cold steel" metal bra model. Size, not a problem, and I quote," I build each bra to your size, B - DDD, If you need a larger size just contact me, I can build you one." Well if if someone needs a size bigger than DDD ,I hope he post pictures with the woman in the bra ,not just the bra,
and no shitty black shirt underneath either.
Yeah, this dude a nerd, but he is a nerd that makes metal armor ,with a bitching car, a pitbull named Spok, of course, dresses his woman up in metal armor and can probably kick your ass. I mean he couldn't kick Staff Sgt. Max Fightmasters ass. Jesus ,but still.
GODDAMN
ReplyI like how the dog armor guy has a link to "squirrel armor", and then at the bottom it says "Coming Soon: Gerbil armor! Just kidding!" As if, you know, "Oh of course not gerbil armor, now THAT would be completely ridiculous."
Reply