What if They Threw an Awards Show and no one Came?
Seeing as the Writers Guild of America has opted out of writing for or attending the Academy Awards and Golden Globes, and the actors just might stand in whiny defiance alongside them, we may find out.
Honestly, I wouldn't know; I hate awards shows with a vitriol that can only be harbored by those desperately jealous of award winners. In my life, I have won the following:
And at the conferrals of all above awards, I never once got the chance to make a speech, although if I had they all would have all gone like this:
Fuck all of you. None of you believed in me. You all laughed! Well, NOW whos holding the fucking 15-Dollar Payless gift certificate, you cunts?! Then I'd Macarena off, bitches on either arm. Also, I'm Batman.
My point is, the fact that the writers strike may result in the Academy Awards and Golden Globes being even shitter, more pompous, and more irrelevant than usual is the first thing thats got me really excited about it. Of course, its also keeping The Daily Show off the air, so its kind of a toss-up.
But, at least until such time as I am eligible for an award, I proudly support the WGA and their noble struggle for fair pay. Apologies to all those comedians whose only work has just been taken away from them. Im looking at you, Billy Crystal.
I like Your Website theme and would like to know where to download it.Thank.
ReplyI just found your site and bookmarked it. Thanks for posting. I'll read more later:)
ReplyHow can you not like The Daily Show?
ReplyI like your stuff but it seems like the more of it I read the more I become convinced you're just bitter towards more successful comics.
Viva Stewart!
I actually thought there was a Hollywood writer he was directing this at. I was sorely dissapointed he was just ranting.
ReplyLOL
ReplyPARANOIA!
ReplyWho cares?! Awards shows are sickening ego-fests put on by talents,semi-talents, and no-talent whatsoever or to show off how rich and fit and spoiled I am 90 percent of Hollywood movies are garbage or remakes so WHAT is there to even strike about?!! The stories they use are all recycled tripe and I've seen movies where 10 year-olds could do better so I say go on strike because most of the stuff you make is junk anyway!
ReplyI don't remember that, but I don't remember much.
ReplyIf memory serves me right, that macarena contest won you a chocolate cake.
ReplyDude, I'm gonna so steal that acceptance speech whenever in my life they give an award for guy whose shitty car breaks down the most. Do the bitches need to be hot? 'cause most girls I know are average looking and inviting the only hot girl I know to hold my arm would probably seem like a creepy way to try to go out with her... plus my car probably wouldn't work that day and I'd have to pick her up in a taxi or something.
Reply:-) Ya' got me again... It's the gift that keeps on giving. Merry Christmas !
Replylbh: That was easily the most heartwarming comment I've ever received on a post. In honor of its reception, I'd just like to say...
Reply"Also I'm Batman".Lol. But wait you couldn't be The Batman. Batman does not do the Macarena.
ReplyAfter the Bat-tusi debacle Batman made a solemn oath, on pain of death, not to dance again.
Michael... what a blessing you are. Your acceptance speech made me laugh out loud. Honest. Now I know what to say (with your permission, of course) when I get one of those cheesy Service Awards they hand out at my office for stupid crap like a customer commendation or another year without any "unapproved" absences (or suicide attempts). Imagining the look on my boss's face has me giggling to myself like an idiot. Thanks, I feel better now. sigh
ReplyI'm looking forward to Colbert Jazz Odyssey.
ReplyHmm, what will coming back without the writers look like I wonder? Will Colbert just vamp at the camera for half an hour?
ReplyOh god, why did it space itself out like that?
ReplyAre you doing that sex pun thing again? If so, putting one in the title was a little obvious.
ReplyOh, Swaim. You're being modest.
ReplyDidn't Daryl Gates award you "Californian of the Year" in '96?