What A Fat White Kid And A Car Full Of Death-Defying Muslims Have In Common: The Daily Nooner (EST)!
Note: For best results, hit play on the top video, let it play until the kid starts dancing, and then hit play on the bottom video.
Sometimes I have to make difficult decisions. Today I had to choose: Should I post the fat kid's pantsless home workout video or the Saudis skating down the highway at 80 mph in their sandals? As you can see it was a very tough call.
I knew I could come up with some hilarious zingers about the fat kid exercising, but I already made fun of a child yesterday. I'm pretty sure that at some point you're supposed to stop making fun of children, right? This little guy is probably too young to know that he's just set himself up to be the next Star Wars kid, effectively ruining his entire life, and that's not all that funny, I guess, but you know what is? Watching him flail around with no pants on. WHY ISN'T HE WEARING ANY PANTS?
So yeah, that one's kind of a mixed bag - part funny, part gut-wrenchingly depressing - but the one with the Saudis skating down a freshly-paved highway? That one's just flat out confusing. Why are they doing that, and more importantly, HOW? Not only does that look like the most dangerous thing of all time, but it also seems to defy the laws of physics. Also, the title of the video is "Only in Saudi Arabia." When did Saudi Arabia gain this reputation for wackiness? I figured if I posted this one I could say something about that, make fun of the guys for wearing those Islamic man-dresses, drop in a few Darwin references and call it a day. Easy enough, but would I really have enough to say about it to make the text wrap ALL THE WAY AROUND THE VIDEO?
I was sitting on the couch, trying to decide which one to post. I showed them to my girlfriend, flipping back and forth between the two windows. "Which one of these is funnier?" I asked her.
"Use both of them," she said without even looking away from America's Next Top Model.
I pulled them up on the screen, hit play on both, sat back to watch them at the same time, and was like, "Whoa - these are actually pretty awesome to watch side by side." Then I tried to find another video to use, but by then it was getting late, so, you know, here we are.
You guy can NOT do anything like saudis. the only thing you can do is TO WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT IT . HUH LOOOL
Replyeven when gas prices goes up, you guys just write essays about it..lol and tips on how to consume less gas...your life sucks.. I don't live life like that....I want have fun...
VIVA SAUDI ARABIA...he he he
Play with the best or die like the rest...what a poor guy writing an essay...
The best part is when the kid demonstrates an exercise, pauses to gasp for breath, and says, "Uhhh...and do that, like, three or four more times."
Replythe saudi video would have been much better had the car exploded at the end. you know, more true to life.
ReplyJimmy Kimmel did a bit showing the 7 year old little shithead who totalled his grandma's SUV and the Indian baby dropping videos. Wanna' guess what video he spliced the Ibdv with ?
ReplyYup. The one with with M.J. dangling baby Blanket off the balcony. I'd call the fucker out for stealing my joke but that would mean admitting publicly that I came up with it first. What a hack, yet he gets a late night show and not DOB? In Hollywood, it really is who you blo...er...I mean know. No, make that... blow.
Ibh, that would go perfect with something by Chris Crocker. Or Hamster Dance.
ReplyEither way, really....
Psht, that nothing lbh, my mom used to throw me off a 70 foot high bridge every week or so, when I was young. Look at me, I turned out fine-ish.
Replymy girlfriend also watches americas top model and it makes me want to murder her, just a little bit
ReplyWow, Ibh, how the hell did you even find that?
Reply"WHY ISN’T HE WEARING ANY PANTS?"
ReplyWHY THE HELL NOT?
I actual autographed Kingmonkey +1's copy. Its says "Dear Horse fucker, keep the dream alive, and dont forget to throw a midget in"
ReplyJT
For reasons I cannot explain, the little exercising rotundity reminds me of Swaim. I've never met him, only know him through the massive fame he's gained here on the interwebs, but the little kid reminds me of him. Sorry, Swaim.
ReplyThat Saudi clip is frickin' insane.
ReplyThat is a very funny thing to post, Ross. I mean seriously, who would believe you have a girlfriend?
ReplyMrs. glendoor42 called kingmonkey+1 and he said yes, then he asked who wanted to know and she said JT and he said "JT hell, he's pulling your leg, JT wrote the book on midget/horse sex, literally, I have my copy right here,"
Reply"JT's Big Book of Midget/Horse Sex. It not just Munchkins and Shetlands anymore. Anniversary Edtion. Special forward by
Verne Troyer and Mr. Ed."
"Nooner"? Is that some code word for midget/Horse sex?
ReplyPaul De Leeuw was that dutch guy licking that kid in a previous nooner.
ReplyPaul de Leeuw? Lets use current names Glendoor42. No one knows your obscure 1920's "Moving Pictures" directors.
ReplyI feel sorry for that boy. Who the fuck was running the camera Paul de Leeuw?
ReplyI'm also sorry none of those Saudi's didn't do a face plant, now that would have been funny. As to an explanation for there behavior,they are growing up in a place where the can't see any women skin, there is no alcohol. all of the music is from the 80's and they have to learn the entire Koran to memory, so yeah sandal skating would seem pretty appealing.
3 Things:
ReplyI was NOT watching Next Top Model because you refused to help me fix the download settings on my computer as you were too busy mashing shit up. And....
You should probably just post the retard rapper mashup as your nooner tomorrow. Then we can eat chicken wings and watch The Wire tonight instead of you looking at the whole internets again. And...
Fuck Niko.
That's all.
-Ross's real-life human girlfriend
Wow. It worked the second time. Stunning. Surreal. Words can not describe.
Reply