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Wealthy Cat Leaves Entire Fortune To Piece of String
On Tuesday morning at 7:32 AM, beloved billionaire and felineHermesMoopy Woopy passed away at age 12 due tocongenital heart failureand being too adorable. He is survived only by his favorite piece of string, to which he has left his entire estate. When asked for comment about plans for its new fortune, the string said, , probably because its just a piece of string.
Years ago, Mr. Moopy Woopy was left forty thousand dollars by his deceased master and self-proclaimed gross cat lady Gertrude Eleanor Paddock. She was survived only by Moopy Woopy (and her entire family whom she did not like nor respect). Upon receiving the money, Moopy Woopy immediately began making wise investments and crafty business deals. It wasnt long before that forty thousand dollars turned into millions and eventually billions. His company, Innocat, employs over 100,000scratching postsand has given millions to charities all around the living room. In 2004, Innocats Purr Division released a much-needed cure foradorable cat sneezesand this past summer marked the 10 year anniversary of the release of Cuddle 98, a technology which makes pink, pink paw pads even pinker.
If you wish to pay your respects, a vigil will be held Friday morning underneath a couch.
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LOL
ReplyHAHAHA! By now I think you'll notice that is sarcasm.
ReplyFor the love of god why cody? This isn't clever and the self proclaimed idiot down the comments some calling this high brow, is obviously too stupid to understand the concept of breathing to make that claim, though by some miracle he is still alive.
Cody pull your s**t together, sure with the internet comedy is seeing alot of different forms, that doesn't mean you can just not try anymore and throw out horrible pieces of blasphemy (i'm atheist by the way so there's not much I can call blasphemy) like this. It pisses me off that so many people can get away with the kind of crap a 12 year old would say, and pass it up for humour worthy of an adult entertainment site.
Also having every single one of your videos turn into a rage thread in the comments really should show you something about your work.
A great Pet blog you have here. Now frankly I am not much into pets, I am trying to train my Little Pomerian House Breaking... and Not really sure how to train her. She looks cute but she going down on the bed is worse.!
ReplyI like this. Absurdist humour is teh bomb, dawg.
Reply:3
Replymeow meow meow mew mew prrrrrr
I giggled like a crazy cat lady over this.
ReplyIt simply amazes me people can waste more time talking about the author than the article.
ReplyYou like it or you don't ... and the secret hides in the fact no one else gives a shit what you like.
Write your own stuff ... using your own imagination ... and let's see how you measure up.
DD-out ... kthnxbai
I sometimes want to defend Cody. Some of his articles make me laugh after a long day.
ReplyHowever, after reading an article like "2009 Literary Sex Off! 5 Baffling Perspectives on Boning" I'm reminded that he's just not funny. He may not deserve all of the shit people throw at him, but he deserves even less a position on Cracked.
cody is the fungus that will eventually destroy Cracked
Replylol, what if a cat had money? 'Cause, like, cats can't make money. Then, like, a cat could leave its money to sting. Because cats like string.
ReplyAlright, let's add some hyperboles, put it in the form of an article and post it.
Jesus christ, I am highbrow.
I love Cody's sense of humor. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it sucks or is not funny, it is just does not appeal to you personally. Did you stop to think that maybe Cracked is wanting to acquire/keep a large and somewhat varied audience and therefore employs writers with varied styles and senses of humor? If all of the columnists wrote in the same way or with the same type of humor, why would they bother hiring more than one in the first place?
ReplyIf you don't like a columnist, don't read their articles and let the people that do enjoy them, enjoy them in peace.
It's okay
ReplyThis has been literally the only Cody article I liked so far. And I read most of them. This one made me grin, but was it worth sifting through all the crap he has put out? No.
ReplySAD sounds like Glenn Beck..."Oh my god, we've got ONE person doing something I don't like, that has very little actual effect on everyone else! WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY WEBSIIIIIITE?! Cracked is slowly being taken over my Dr. Mr. Cody....or is it?"
ReplyCody is quite possibly one of the top three writers here. Just 'cause you guys don't have the same sense of humour doesn't mean that he sucks, just DON'T FUCKING READ HIS STUFF IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT.
ReplyThis is cute, but definitely not Cracked funny. Heck, I don't think it's really funny at all.
ReplyGive Cody a break. He's a high-functioning autistic.
Replythats insulting to everyone except cody
Cody? Highbrow? HIGHBROW? Did you read the shit above, about the cat and the piece of string? For the love of all that is holy, this is the kind of shit you see in a high school newspaper. Specifically, a really really really just fucking awful school newspaper. I'm not a troll, friends, just a simple man filled with righteous anger. I love my Cracked, and I fear for it.
Reply@ideot
ReplyI think you might be somewhat right about Cody's style, but calling it "highbrow" and "over people's heads" is just kind of assholish. The thing is, a lot of people on Cracked aren't warming up to him, which means that even if he is in some sense funny, he's not the funny that Cracked wants. Don't pretend like you're rolling on the floor guffawing at the absurdity of a cat making millions, then billions. It's grin-inducing, sure, but you don't need to treat it like it's better than some of the gold O'Brien or Seanbaby put out.
@ideot
ReplyWHy the fuck would Cracked hire highbrow comedy when noone understands it and/or thinks its funny in the remotest sense possible. HE is not a good columnisnt, all he does is rant, sure its his style AND IT SUCKS aloti literally cant follow what he is reading and the jokes are repeated atleast 4 times in the article. HE will never be DOB or Swaim. Cody will eventually be axed...