Is Wall-E Really About An Aging Gay Robot?
Like many of you, I took a break from the lavish penthouse parties that are my workaday routine to jaunt to my local imax and see Wall-E this weekend.
And Im hereat least textuallyto tell you that its not only a wonder of computer graphics, but also a film that dares to stand for something. Wall-E shines some much-needed light and compassion on a largely unexplored sphere of human existence: that of the elderly gay man.
For years, the elderly gay man has been a ghost, a myth, a tale told to disturbed children. Weve tried to pretend they arent out there, puttering around their one-bedroom apartments in tasteful sweater vests.
But let me tell you something: that flamboyant ball of styled hair and liberal sensibilities you see walking down the streets of Hillcrest today is going to get old one day. And then, like many elderly gay men, hell spend his days not bothering people, eating breakfast at curbside cafes, and occasionally meeting for sex at big unmarked warehouses downtown.
Which brings us to Wall-E. Naturally, the Nazis over at Disney forced Pixar to subvert their original ideas with an exotic setting and thinly-veiled symbology, but the subtext is clear.
Our story centers on Wall-E, the titular, elderly gay robot. Hes spent seven hundred years collecting interesting trinkets, fastidiously organizing anything thats out of place, and singing along to old tapes of Hello Dolly.
We can find out a little more about him by analyzing the trailer:
In the opening, we see him helpfully correcting a strangers fashion faux pax (notice he never leaves the house without a spare light bulb), and fretfully righting an out-of-place letter R.
Next, they drive the point home by showing us his interaction with a cockroach. He shrieks upon seeing it, stamps on it, and then gingerly sighs with remorse for having killed the poor dear. Finding it somehow alive, he feels chagrined rather than pleased, and icily ushers it indoors, where it wont muss up his koi pond or Japanese water bridge.
They cut away just before he recites an Oscar Wilde quip on the transience of life.
Then we see, in quick succession, the facets of existence that comprise the life of an elderly gay man: a befuddled lack of directional sense, a distrust of tools, curious fascination with womens undergarments, failure at traditional sports and games, love of shiny things, and, finally, an illogical fear of massive explosions.
In the end, Wall-E just wants his way of life understood and respected. As he infiltrates the world of unfashionably obese straights and tinkers with his bonsai, he asks only that we treat him with the kindness he affords us. Dont judge, he seems to twitter, gently clasping his robot hands.
Bravo, Pixar, for sharing with us a unique and stunning vision of the life of an aging gay.
NEXT--Eve: Fag hag or post-op transsexual?
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael is moving heavy boxes as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!
This really retarded on so many levels.
ReplyI'm not gonna get all super nerd fan on you but he spent a lot of the film trying to hold Eve's "hand" and the c**kroach was his pet/friend. The rest of the points were to uninteresting for my short attention span to remember long enough to get to the comment section.
Replyrobots are technically the same sex.
Then...you MIGHT be an elderly homosexual!!
Haha, wow. XD Nice article
Reply(Glad I'm not the only one who sits there during movies and stacks evidence about a character's orientation and then displays my findings online...)
eve stood for environmental vacuum (something about taking that starts with either an a or an e).
Replyplus the 1st 2m i heard about this flick i thought it was a total ripoff of silent running, directed by Douglas Trumbull and starring Bruce Dern. IT IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER MADE!!!! hell, the robots in that flick ACTUALLY INSPIRED THE DESIGN OF R2 FUCKING D2! hOW KWL IZ THT?
"Wrong."
ReplyThat's all I have to say.
Well Cracked IS infact a comedy website.
ReplyPeople generally tell jokes when they are being comedic.
“if wall-e was gay, why would he love eve?
Reply@Gabriel
Oh that's an easy one!
Eve was short for "Everton Everton Winston Stanley Kodogo", HIS full name ;)
The cockroach was Wall-E's freakin' pet. If the writer was telling the truth about seeing the film, he would have known that.
ReplyKayKay: "why can’t people just watch it for what it is, a cartoon, and enjoy it?! Seriously!"
ReplyWell. Why can't you just read this article for what it is, a joke, and enjoy it? Seriously.
I'm beginning to worry about the I.Q/stick up ass/humor ratio of Earth at the moment.
this article is a JOKE you retards.
ReplyIt makes perfect sense.
ReplyThe bonsai.
The lightbulb.
The illogical fear of massive explosions.
THE BONSAI.
How could I have not seen it before?
Oh, that's right. I never watched Wall-E. Stone me if you will, but I find many Pixar films to be tedious and completely lacking in the whole melodramatic hypocrisy that I so loved about the old Disney movies as a child.
Call me when that chief rat starts singing with front of a chorus of gypsies, talking animals, and animated objects about how he's going to bang that hot chick or burn her at the stake and THEN we'll talk.
You got a good view on that pedestal?
I'm very sorry to hear that you are a horrible human being with no redeeming qualities, orypeci.
"if wall-e was gay, why would he love eve? plus, your only reasons were simply steriotypes… false steriotypes."
ReplyOK, I think I finally got it. The entire point of the comments section is so that you guys could actually read about and laugh at the people who get indignant because they either don't know what a joke is, or they do, but they think that they're able to arbitrate between what is an isn't funny on a universal level. Sort of an Andy Kaufman thing so you all can see how your audience reacts on a personal level when they're too dim to get it, right? Please say it is. Please?
Strange, while i understand you were simply trying to make a joke through specious comparisons, i can't help but feel that this article is actually quite offensive. Were it more of a tongue in cheek kind of humor it could have passed, and in my opinion been funnier, but i just wonder if it is making the assertion (even if accidentally) that homosexuals invariably die alone? I don't know, maybe i'm being over sensitive here, i just think that it's kind of a rude article.
Reply*sniff*
Replyi might just cry. I absolutely love that movie. But i must say, dude, you know your way around a sentence.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Replyyour all fucking gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyys and tinggggggggggg blud
Replyif wall-e was gay, why would he love eve? plus, your only reasons were simply steriotypes... false steriotypes.
Replycomments like this are sometimes funnier the the articles themselves. thank you for the laugh.
By the way, hilarious article. I laughed the whole way through. :)
ReplyReally?
You have grossly low standards
What the hell is wrong with you people? "But Wall-E ISN'T gay, you got it all wrong!"
ReplyUmm, hello? THIS ARTICLE IS A JOKE.
Which would have been perfectly fine if it was, in fact, funny..
Ok, I have to say, even if this article is about a cartoon n being an adult, I am kind of flustered of this whole thing! One, it is a cartoon, why do people have to derive adult like stuff out of it, why can't people just watch it for what it is, a cartoon, and enjoy it?! Seriously! And, yes I am female, so the writer of this ariticle may say I may not understand 'gay males' But throguhout all of my life I have had countless gay male friends, flamming queens, total Betty Crockers! There was nothing straight about them so I have been subjected to the homosexual world a lot. And I love the gay community, so I would not be trying to 'bash' this article because it is about 'gays'
ReplySo my point is, Wall E is not gay! He is alone on earth, cleaning garbage. The cockroach is his only friend! The sceen described where he tries to 'kill' the cochroach is SO wrong! He shreaks because he is sad he ran over it n scared he killed it! He tells the cochroach to stay in the 'house' so he doesn't get hurt. You can clearly see they are friends when Wall E gives him a twinky to eat/sleep in before bed. So how d you perceive that as not liking him? And Yes, Eve (which Wall E pronounces Eva) is clearly a girl robot. And Wall E falls in love with her instantly. I just do not understand how someone can take a cartoon and make such assumptions about it! Also, the plant is not a Bonsai tree! I don't knwo where you got that from either? Is the writer of this article watching some weird altered version of Wall E I don't know about?!