The official release of Windows 7 is only a few weeks away, and if you’re anything like me, you’re probably asking yourself what effect this will have on your lives. Will the gates of Heaven open up and a consort of large breasted angels descend to guide you into computing heaven? Or will it be more of a low key affair, maybe involving the cast of Friends and a degrading video?
So I decided to apply my powerful brain to the problem, and find out what Windows 7 would mean for you, the average user. With only pre-release versions and betas available for download, to get a copy of the actual release version, I had to turn to eBay, where leaked copies have shown up recently. $150 and two days later, a package of bubble wrapped, technological delights arrived on my doorstep. I giddily tore open the packaging to reveal the contents.
Son. Of. A. Bitch.
Also included, but not pictured, was a small note from the seller, making some pretty inflammatory claims about my mental capacity. I took the matter up with eBay Fraud Protection, but they had similarly unkind things to say about my Internet savvy, only they used longer words. So, my attempts to get my money back from UR_a_Ediot67 were at a standstill. Unfortunately, I still had a column to produce, and as “23 Reasons Punching a Wall Really Hurts” didn’t have the sort of broad appeal I normally like to include in my articles, I decided to plow ahead with my original plan. So below I present my review of “Windows 7.”
Installation
Very difficult. The install for Windows 7 comes on four floppy disks, and as my laptop doesn’t have a floppy drive, I was worried I’d have to travel 10 years into the past to find a computer that did. Fortunately, my local Best Buy was offering a USB floppy drive for $80, which, not withstanding certain recent software purchases, struck me as the greatest ripoff the world has ever seen. I’d advise anyone wanting to install Windows 7 on their own machine should make sure their hardware can support it.
After that rocky start, the rest of the installation went relatively smooth, although I had to fiddle with the BIOS settings to get the floppy to boot. I chose to install all the options, including something called Microsoft Fax, simply because it sounded fucking amazing. After the install, the computer rebooted without incident, and I was up and running.
Hardware Support
Terrible. I don’t have any particular exotic hardware on my system, but Windows 7 still struggled to find drivers for basically everything. Screen resolution was limited to 640 x 480, and my external mouse didn’t work because apparently Windows 7 doesn’t have USB support. Bizarre. I’ll spare you the details of what I had to do to get the wireless working, but let’s just say it involved 27 hours of crying.
Finally got the Internet working!
Included Software
Windows 7 comes packaged with Internet Explorer 2.0, which I will admit to being a little disappointed with. It can render text and images however, which if you think about it, is probably the most important 40 percent of the Internet anyways.
The flying Window icon lets you know the Internet is working.
Set Up The Microsoft Network
Right in the desktop was a link to something called “The Microsoft Network” which the instruction manual promised would provide the unheard of ability to use chat rooms or check the weather. Unfortunately, the set up didn’t seem to work–it evidently requires a phone line to work, and I don’t actually have one of those. So be advised that to fully utilize Windows 7, and experience all of its weather checking glory, you’ll require some pretty specialized telecom equipment.
Long File Names
While checking the manual, I noticed that it also promised that Windows 7 would be able to handle long file names. I honestly didn’t know we were limited before, but I guess this isn’t a bad thing.
Long file name
My Briefcase
This is a little synchronization tool that lets you keep files in sync across multiple computers when transferring files by floppy. I don’t have any other computers with a floppy drive, so couldn’t test it out, but I guess this would be a useful tool for the Amish.
Start Button
The classic Windows Start button is back, and it works pretty much the same as you’re used to. You click it, and a list of programs comes up in a branching menu. If you can’t figure that out, no amount of Matthew Perry videos will help you.
Taskbar
The venerable old taskbar is back in Windows 7, looking a little retro, but otherwise in good shape. Definitely a “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it” situation here. Curiously, the useful Quick Launch bar seems to have disappeared. I guess with limited room on the floppies, space had to be made for the popular Microsoft Fax.
Windows Explorer
I was very disappointed with this. The improvements made to the most recent version of Explorer were one of the bright points of the whole Vista debacle. The version on display here in Windows 7 is remarkably spartan, lacking many features users look for, like thumbnail previews or frequently used shortcuts. I think Microsoft definitely crapped the bed on this one.
Multitasking
I was very impressed here. To test performance, I ran a stress test consisting of a word document, two Internet Explorer windows and Minesweeper. Everything worked pretty smoothly.
Stability
Terrible. Possibly related to the previously mentioned hardware difficulties, I found stability to be a real issue with Windows 7. Crashes were frequent, including Blue Screens of Death. Error messages were cryptic and meaningless to me – see below.
Overall
In general I was highly disappointed with Windows 7. Although performance has improved since Vista, major features appear to have been lopped off the OS to meet these performance marks. Additionally, the hardware incompatibility and stability issues that have long plagued Microsoft OS releases appear to back in full force. Unless you’re one of those deviants who always has to have the latest OS, or have very specialized faxing needs, I’d strongly recommend avoiding Windows 7 until at least the first Service Pack is released.
Two stars.
**
___
This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 6th, 2009 at 4:00 am and is filed under Windows 7, Windows Vista. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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November 20th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
F’in great man. Look forward to more posts. Microsoft Fax FTW!
November 20th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
[...] geeks LANGUAGE WARNING. LOTS OF BAD WORDS. I thought this was pretty funny, I hope you do to. A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com __________________ Mossberg 500, Lakefield MKII [...]
November 20th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Geese with such a nice review I have to ask. Did you see a 8 inch floppy version for my old Radio Shack? This was a real pleasure to read.
November 20th, 2009 at 11:11 am
FUCKING HILARIOUS. ive been in stictches
November 20th, 2009 at 8:29 am
While hilarious I’m not quite sure if this is true… I mean Windows 7 has been on the internet for free (all versions of it) and is easy to get.
Haha - I did get a good laugh though. Only reason I downloaded it was to give it to a few people.
November 19th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Excellent! Loved every word of this
November 18th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Oh, this is priceless! LOL.
November 18th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
dumbass, this is windows 95
November 16th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
[...] review of the pirated copy of “Windows 7” this guy bought on Ebay. [...]
November 14th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
lolz at the letter to your mom, pure win.
November 12th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I can see more than 4 floppy disks in the first screen shot, look at the very right corner, clearly 2 or more disks
November 12th, 2009 at 10:28 am
LOL.
Sorry you got ripped, but at least you seem in good spirits about it.
November 12th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Looks like that Mac “Trust me” commercial was right. Windows 7 still hasn’t gotten any better; we can’t trust PC. Son of a..
November 11th, 2009 at 1:22 am
Ah, nostalgia…
…y’know, for a amnesiatic precog stuck in backwards [cubic] time.
November 10th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Bravo, sir.
November 10th, 2009 at 10:43 am
LOL, I seriously hope they fix the hardware issues. I can never get it installed thru floppy drive cuz i don’t have one LOL.
November 7th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Just found your article, I am now trying to see the screen throught the tears in my eyes, absolutely bloody hilarious, but I must admit, after my own vista experience your review of windows 7 looks like a massive improvement!
Thanks for a great laugh.
November 7th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
No but seriously, honestly, genuinly. Iv’e read this article 2x’s so far and both times I laughed to tears. This is the funniest thing I have ever read, next to Mark Twain’s lighning rod incident.
November 6th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Laugh now…Windows 7 will be….never mind.
Ill save my laughter for later.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Wanker!
November 5th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Hilarious article! And I pity the fools who think it’s an actual review of 7.
Thanks for making me laugh!
November 5th, 2009 at 8:30 am
Hilarious!
November 5th, 2009 at 5:14 am
Love how you tell a story using the taskbar.
November 5th, 2009 at 3:10 am
Well, I think you should try getting the final-
you might have just gotten a beta copy, and you know how betas can be.
November 4th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
…and before I read this I thought that to piss one’s pants due to laughing so hard was just an expression…
Thanks for helping me find out otherwise. It was still worth it
November 4th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
This is one of the most funny software reviews I’ve ever read! Thank you very much for the great laugh!
November 4th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
i hope youre joking
November 4th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Chris, I hope you have figured out by now that you were reviewing an older version of Windows and not Windows 7. Now that Windows 7 has been officially released, maybe you should try to do another review. Don’t be discouraged by all these mean people who think your review is some sort of joke.
I had a Windows 7 party at my house recently. We discussed all the great new things we can do with Windows 7, and how much it will improve our lives. We recorded the whole thing so that people like you who want to learn more about Windows 7 can do so in a festive way. Here is the video on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI
Good luck with your future reviews!
November 4th, 2009 at 6:14 am
Are people so stupid they think he actually tried to get Windows 7 and was given Windows 95?
November 4th, 2009 at 5:30 am
sorry i wasn’t mean that. correction: impressive!
November 4th, 2009 at 5:18 am
Idiot!
November 4th, 2009 at 5:17 am
Many celebrities posted their profiles on a celeb dating site
_______Meet Wealthy com______ _____ . Many persons want to date with those celebrities.
November 4th, 2009 at 2:50 am
I never ever did complete minesweeper
Now I feel inadequate and shamed.
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:51 pm
This is fucking hilarious.
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:44 pm
reuben you dumbass did you even look at the picture, its windows 95, hilarious article by the way
November 3rd, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Dude, that cannot physically be windows 7. Windows XP takes up like 15 floppy discs, windows 7 cannot be placed on 4 floppy discs.
Unless this is a sarcastic article, you are a dunderhead.
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:50 pm
You should have help out to Windows (9) 8 - I hear it gets USB support!
November 3rd, 2009 at 4:08 pm
One of the best articles in Cracked’s history. Sure to become Bucholz’s magnum opus.
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:31 pm
XP Pro FTW!!!!
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:11 pm
[...] Originally Posted by Spinsah Should have just left it alone! Torstar Electronic Publishing Ltd. - Front Page for some reason that made me think of this A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com [...]
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:49 pm
full of win, sir.
I’m curious if you actually killed that douchefag with facial reconstruction and/or floppy disk bomb while in a clown suit…
I’m not the only one who caught that, no?
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:13 am
Is it natural that people seek Beauty and Wealthy???? then we know why rich man wants beautiful woman and sexy woman wants successful man.. you know so many online services focus on it now.. such as —–AffluentSingle.com—– where many real & hot woman and successful & wealthy man waiting for hooking up!!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 3rd, 2009 at 1:52 am
Very Very Very Amusing!!! HAHAHHAh Thank you so very much.. Win 7 is not all that anyway..
Namaste…
Azu.
November 2nd, 2009 at 6:23 pm
That Minesweeper is from XP! It’s obvious that it was copied and pasted into.
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I still have windows 95 on an old desktop, the entire system eventually died only a couple of weeks ago.
RIP
November 2nd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
HAHAHAHAHA, this sum funny shit. lol
November 2nd, 2009 at 11:50 am
First visit to the site and i read this. Really great stuff, funny , the dogs.
well done…..
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:38 am
GENIUS.. DOWNRIGHT GENIUS!
lord.. my stomach hurts laughing.
November 2nd, 2009 at 3:24 am
Baba helal olsun
November 2nd, 2009 at 3:21 am
8 years of web surfing were not wasted after all.
Love you!
November 1st, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Windows Vista = Modern Windows ME (Mistake Edition)
Windows 7 = Modern Windows XP
Here is my benchmarked view about Windows XP, Vista and 7
Windows XP Pro SP3, Install, right off the bat, consuming 89MB of RAM for the OS with no other programs running.
Windows Vista, Install, right off the bat, consuming 800MB of RAM! for the OS with no other programs running.
Windows 7 Final, Install, right off the bat, consuming 222 MB of RAM, for the OS with no other programs running.
I guess Microsoft made a huge improvement in the system resources needed for Windows 7 after its fatal mistake with Windows Vista! But I will continue running windows XP as all of my programs runs perfectly fine under it and I have no genuine excuse to upgrade. I am a minimalist that I have “nLited” my installation of Windows XP and when I did that installation my nLited XP was consuming 43 MB of RAM for nLited XP just to run with no other programs running, no other Operating System-of-the-NOW can beat that! I am currently waiting for a vLite version tailored for Windows 7 so I can do a redo of performance after removing the “fat” out of Windows 7, but until then, I will just leave the case open and continue my normal activities under Windows XP.
November 1st, 2009 at 8:17 pm
So, accidentally throw any furry orgies lately?
November 1st, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Why the hell would you buy a pirated copy when the MS real version was there free for months? All you had to do was download it from MS and make a DVD and load it. I did that, it works just fine. I actually like it. It’s just a cleaned up version of Vista.
October 31st, 2009 at 9:55 pm
I miss my Floppy Drive. That was useful stuff, man. (What am I going to do with my two boxes of blank floppies now?)
October 31st, 2009 at 7:31 am
Just know a great celeb site ___Tallconnect CO M___ where you can me et many big beautiful wo man and hand some guys.
October 31st, 2009 at 1:17 am
This is the best so far this year.
There still seems to be some hope for the Internet. If there just was an online tool to find this kind of perfect rantings.
Just love it!
October 30th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Microsoft released vista as a re-skinned ME.
I wonder what win7 really is..
October 30th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
I’m rushing out to buy a copy …..
October 30th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
that was freakin awesome man, job well done!
October 30th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
lol that was great.
just to say this i have windows 7 (before it came out(i’m so speacial)) and it isn’t like what he says this is a joke. i think. i hope he’s not being serious.
anyways that was fucking great. laughed my ass off.
5 stars *****
October 30th, 2009 at 10:27 am
AWESOME!!!
October 29th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
thank you for pure awesome.
October 29th, 2009 at 10:37 am
I think I died laughing… which makes this post that much more impressive.
Thanks!
October 29th, 2009 at 10:21 am
i agree with this review. windows 7 is much better than windows vista. =]
October 29th, 2009 at 2:40 am
Dude, it took you 88 seconds to complete minesweeper?
October 29th, 2009 at 12:01 am
\m/
October 28th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
wanna watch free adults movies or naked pics?? pls check out for
free__ClassyMingle.c o m__ . Wanna find your sexy partner easier and more
effective?? Check out for free: –ClassyMingle.c o m–where you can meet
the wealthy singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs. What are you
waiting for? Find your sexy partner and hot movies NOW ! You will love it!
October 28th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
OMG! You ROK! that is some phunnie sheat!
October 28th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Fucking brilliant… made my day
October 28th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
October 28th, 2009 at 11:37 am
AAAHAHAHHA this was friggin GENIUS XD made my day x3
October 28th, 2009 at 10:46 am
From your review, I can see why the minions need to fork over their dollars to get this immediately.
Me, I’m still waiting for MS-BOB 64 to come out. The puppy is starting to seem slower.
October 28th, 2009 at 8:59 am
AWSOME. 6 out of 5, and a leg our of a hockey mask,
October 28th, 2009 at 6:41 am
Genius. Funniest thing I have EVER read.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:48 am
Wooot, genies!
October 28th, 2009 at 12:19 am
Haa haaa haaa haaa!!!!
Funniest article ever read!!!
October 27th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
IF I GOT WINDOWS 95 IN THE MAIL I WOULD BE SO HAPPY
October 27th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I love you.
October 27th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
outfuckingstanding i was laughing non stop from beginning to end
October 27th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
E…P…I…C…I nearly died reading this.
October 27th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
I’m am still crying over here…best review yet, on Windows 7
October 27th, 2009 at 7:08 am
Superb article
I had almost forgot about the fax app. Oh the nightmares….
October 27th, 2009 at 7:01 am
Ha! That was a fantastic review.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
/signed.
October 26th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
LMAO!! The subtleties are thick! Wow I needed this!
October 26th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Chris++ !!!
This article was probably one of the funniest I’ve read on cracked!
October 26th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
funny!
October 26th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
“Although performance has improved since Vista, major features appear to have been lopped off the OS to meet these performance marks.”
HAHAHA cracked up at that part
October 26th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Wow… just.. wow. Great job man, this is the funniest article I have ever read here and that is really saying something. The letter to mom was the kicker I kept thinking about this today and laughing randomly and now people I work with think I am nuts :-P. A+++
October 26th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Holy crap, those error windows take me back…
October 26th, 2009 at 10:43 am
LMAO
October 26th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Zomg! W7 comes with Fax? :O
And I can’t wait to check out the new Microsoft Network features!
October 26th, 2009 at 9:10 am
I am suprised your review garnered 2 stars. BTW, I know some mercs that need a job…if you are interested
October 26th, 2009 at 7:30 am
Posted the link to all 150 peeps at work. I could hear laughter on my floor. I’m still getting messages about how hilarious the article is.
Awesome. Totally love the murder story-line. Laughed so hard, I nearly bust a gut. Microsoft Fax!
Classic, man. Classic!
October 26th, 2009 at 6:32 am
Finally Windows makes a comeback. Vista is terrible in comparison to 7. Can’t wait to get my hands on those floppys. In the meantime, I need to go buy a floppy drive.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:25 am
:)) … you got a fake package (at least it has a original windows 95
..maybe it’s worth something for colectors 
) … and we got a very funny review of “Windows 7″
October 26th, 2009 at 3:37 am
WOW! Simply WOW! Bravo!
You should get the politzer prize for this!
Win 95 was the BOMB had it for years and 98 during school.
I have it on my Symbian phone, god knows why and I think im gonna play with it a bit now XD
P.S. did you kill the guy at the end? and did the cleaners get the stains out of the clown costume? I mean, at least try out Tide. I heard they do well with blood stains XD
WTF how many people didnt get this… there loss…
October 25th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
The most f*king hillarius thing ever…
October 25th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
[...] [...]
October 25th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
love it!
October 25th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I agree, 7 IS a huge improvement to Vista.
Can’t wait to get those floppys!!!!!!!!
October 25th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Brilliant SATIRE, Chris! Brilliant!
October 25th, 2009 at 1:43 am
that was amazing! the comments made it even better
October 25th, 2009 at 1:09 am
God I love Windows 95…..the good old days….*sigh*
October 24th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Brilliant.
October 24th, 2009 at 8:04 am
THINGS TYPED IN CAPITAL LETTERS
October 24th, 2009 at 7:59 am
[...] Win7 review!!!!! Well i thought its funny so i want to share http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-wi…lead-to-murder [...]
October 24th, 2009 at 6:43 am
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL LMFAO!
This is so funny!! ROFL LOLOL!!!!
October 24th, 2009 at 3:23 am
This really saved my day, awesome read ,awesome to the max..
I especially loved the taskbar through the pics
October 24th, 2009 at 2:50 am
Especially the “pyoo pyoo pyoo” part is hilarious, can’t stop laughing
October 23rd, 2009 at 10:53 pm
“Hey! That’s Windows 95! OMG! Not Windows 7! Hey wow, ur so dumb I can’t believe you installed the wrong OS. Did you seriously pay $230 and waste your time installing that? OMG that is so funny/lame/sad/retarded!!”
God damn, the people that visit this website are stupid. Good article, I lol’d a bit. Nice job finding an ancient, unopened copy of Windows 95 to photograph (if you did indeed photograph that).
October 23rd, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Awesome Review!
LOL^LOL^LOL^ROFL
October 23rd, 2009 at 10:15 pm
I am giving u Nobel Prize for best product review.?///
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:52 pm
HA thats awesome lol, that os sucked…. i love the whole “while it does have increased performance from vista…”
October 23rd, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Thank you for a totally hilarious review, I laughed my pants off!
Some of the highlights for me:
“I chose to install all the options, including something called Microsoft Fax, simply because it sounded fucking amazing.”
“So be advised that to fully utilize Windows 7, and experience all of its weather checking glory, you’ll require some pretty specialized telecom equipment.”
“To test performance, I ran a stress test consisting of a word document, two Internet Explorer windows and Minesweeper. Everything worked pretty smoothly.”
“In general I was highly disappointed with Windows 7. Although performance has improved since Vista, …”
And as for the screenshots, still laughing…
This made my day. Thanks :-))
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:20 pm
i hope you actually did not spend the 150 and the extra 80 and the time to install windows 95…
October 23rd, 2009 at 4:02 pm
This isn’t Windows 7! It’s Windows 95!
October 23rd, 2009 at 11:15 am
The best review ever man!! Yet, I’m helluva curious? did you really asked for a piracy copy of windows 7 in the first place?
Lol if you did and wrote this article to vent your anger on a productive manner…..
Way to go man!!! ^^
October 23rd, 2009 at 10:47 am
LOL Very very funny. This is genius, Chris!
October 23rd, 2009 at 9:44 am
Genius! Fucking golden! Best. Cracked. article. ever.
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:06 am
[...] FUENTE: http://www.cracked.com [...]
October 23rd, 2009 at 3:37 am
OMG it is tragic that you fell for that fraud however, it wouldnt have done you any good to go get an obviously flawed attempt at mac os X in the first place. Buy a mac and live happily ever after. dont worry about viruses, crashed or the computer telling YOU what you should be using or not using. Snow Leopard is the bomb!
October 22nd, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Brilliant multi-layered humor/satire. Very well done–this one of the best quality articles I’ve read on cracked, and one of the funniest.
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Absolutely hilarious, I’m still crying from laughing at the “Dear Mom” letter hahaha…
And to top it off, we’ve got all these idiots who actually think this was a serious Windows 7 review xDD
October 22nd, 2009 at 3:00 pm
This article was priceless!
Hilarious to say the least. yeah… I remember the Win95 days and that OS was a piece of shit. I had to hack a boot floppy to force my Packard Hell computer to accept a Win98 restore disk from a different model and it worked! That computer worked decently after that.
Yeah, Windows 7 is finally what Vista was supposed to be.
Your article was so funny though in the matter of fact sense.
In all seriousness, it would be interesting to see if you could get Win95 working on a modern dual cpu machine. Probably impossible! Win98 second edition is usable on any single core CPU machine. Try it on the Celeron 3.0ghz computer. That will solve your speed issues. Compatibility? Maybe not.
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Haha this was funny as shit! I can’t believe people don’t know it was a joke. We live in a world of boundless intelligence…
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:32 pm
I’m literally dying of laughing at the “Dear Mom” letter.
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:56 am
Ah, I don’t know what it is about setting up Windows, but there is something oddly satisfying about getting those drivers installed and things tweaked out. Along the way having to work around such things as “A driver for your networking hardware was not found, can Windows search online?” Or, after upgrading the optical driver to a fancier one, “Please insert the Windows CD to install the driver for your CDROM drive.” Good times.
Good article. And, love the comments from people who actually think that you got Win 95 confused with Win7.
October 22nd, 2009 at 7:06 am
[...] were lining up to get their hands on a copy. And great reviews are coming in from all over the place. Hell, even Walt Mossberg likes [...]
October 22nd, 2009 at 7:03 am
omg ur a dumass its not windows 7 its win95 hahahahaha it sez right on teh box, u suk
October 22nd, 2009 at 5:51 am
Funny stuff. however If i recall correctly Win95 had 11 or 13 floppy disks.
October 21st, 2009 at 7:31 pm
“And if he did get ripped off — serves him right for attempting to get a pirated copy of Windows.”
This is the internet. We don’t buy things here Grandma.
October 21st, 2009 at 4:35 pm
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It’s a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
October 21st, 2009 at 1:44 pm
Cracked - you have excelled yourself. You are a genius and I bow to your glorious usage of my mother tongue. Or is that your mother’s tong… nevermind. Anyhoo, thank you for covering my screen with beer. Salut.
October 21st, 2009 at 2:33 am
Niceeee one! I wonder if my BitDefender works on this version of w:)))
October 20th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
this is the funniest article Ive read on cracked….ever…clown costumes…hahaha
October 20th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
He didn’t actually get ripped off. He said he did just to make the column interesting.
And if he did get ripped off — serves him right for attempting to get a pirated copy of Windows.
October 20th, 2009 at 7:38 am
Awesome review. Cracked always gets me laughing like a maniac at work, good thing everyone knows I’m weird already.
October 20th, 2009 at 6:58 am
Great review. I am now sure I stay with XP a little longer and wait for Chrome-OS later next year.
October 20th, 2009 at 2:32 am
pure gold absolutely the best unbiased review of windows 7 ever 5 stars
October 19th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Well you never know it seems still better than vista
October 19th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Agree. The best review in the internet ever!! XD
Really good post!
October 19th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
this was the best review ever.
October 19th, 2009 at 11:50 am
[...] cabinet never been touch and still fresh. At this time I felt that they made it right with Lucky 7 Windows 7 Review ~ __________________ Всегда [...]
October 19th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Hmm I don’t think windows 7 is the problem.
I think the person who pirated it really fucked it up.
October 19th, 2009 at 8:27 am
WTF = =
October 19th, 2009 at 4:46 am
Oh gawd, this was sooo cool xD Hillarious indeed
“DONT LOOK IN THE DRAWER!”
October 19th, 2009 at 2:43 am
[...] A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com __________________ The first witness is thine own consciousness ‐ See thyself, then, with [...]
October 19th, 2009 at 1:30 am
OMG, Freakingly Hilarious!
October 19th, 2009 at 12:30 am
fucking hilarious man, those screenshots were priceless
October 19th, 2009 at 12:03 am
Those are really small floppy disks, they look too small for my floppy disk drive, which takes fairly large black disks.
Ughhhhhhh, I have to upgrade hardware for this new Windows thing everyone’s talking about?
October 18th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
I admire your sarcasm! hahaha
Man… I love this article!
October 18th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
This is great. I tried to install windows 3.0 just for shits and gigs, but it was a no go. Apparently I need some classes. This shit made me laugh so hard. Remember when you had to make every filename 8 characters or less? That was the lamest. This makes me want to dig out my old desktop (56k RAM, beeotch) and play police quest. Maybe Myst.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
[...] thiking of upgrading to Windows 7 needs to read this review: A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com __________________ Bugs, it’s what’s for Dinner! 97 Honda ST1100 (Big Red) R.I.P. 97 Ninja 250 [...]
October 18th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
i loveee mac.
October 18th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Thanks for the resourceful review!
I got my first look at Windows 7 this week and my initial reaction was “so far, so good.”
“So far” being the key phrase of that statement.
New operating systems are almost always an improvement, and will almost always generate some sort of enthusiasm or buzz within the first couple months.
But until the user sits down and gets a feel for what a new OS is all about (outside the VirtualBox), you’re not going to understand the product’s deficiencies … or its notable improvements.
The reality being you need at least 4-6 months under your belt before you can conclude how successful an OS is for you. And that’s the bottom line, how successful is this system to you and your work environment?
Here are my top 7 reasons Windows 7 could be a success, and top 7 why it could be a failure:
http://www.experts-exchange.com/articles/OS/Microsoft_Operating_Systems/Windows/Windows_7/Windows-7-Review-Seven-Reasons-Windows-7-Could-be-a-Success-Failure.html
October 18th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
man that sounds pretty bad, I think i’m gonna switch to apple. Thanks for the informative review.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:16 am
lmfao! i laughed way too hard there.
October 18th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Nice! Where did you find the computer that would run this?
Most of these machines are long past gone.
October 18th, 2009 at 9:26 am
ha! ha!
October 18th, 2009 at 3:19 am
Love you Chris
October 18th, 2009 at 1:18 am
The comments from the mentally challenged people who EPIC FAILed to get the joke are just icing on some extremely funny delicious cake.
This was a bad thing to read while everyone else was sleeping. It was hard for me to breathe while having to suppress that much laughter. The writing was funny; the screenshots pushed it into WIN territory.
“I was worried I’d have to travel 10 years into the past to find one…”
October 17th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Hilarious article, great job! The e-mail content and document file names were a nice touch.
October 17th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
[...] Great Review of Windows 7 Here is a great review of windows 7 … A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com [...]
October 17th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
windows 7 looks horrible
October 17th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Excellent review! Your really should be a professional writer.
I also have a suspicion that your review, although for Windows 95, will be somewhat similar for Windows 7.
I hope I am wrong, but the test of time will tell. Thanks for making me laugh
October 17th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Many thanks for this informative report.
I work in Tech Support for a SW-Company for more than 12 years now. I see that the “Cycle” for sw renewals is always the same, meaning new features -> new bugs. I am not affraid of loosing my job.
Edmund
October 17th, 2009 at 7:04 am
Fuck you guy.
hahaha
hilarious
i hope windows 7 is as good as 95 was compared to 98.
vista and 98 = suckkkkage to the maximum.
i hate vista so fucking much.
xp > vista. and that’s pretty bad.
October 17th, 2009 at 6:48 am
Hehe. Great article. (Anyone who didn’t get the humour should look up the word spoof in the dicktionary and also watch the excellent movie “Airplane! (1980)”.
You know, I really hated Vista. Most of the improvements made were visual, weren’t they? And I’m one of the guys who switches all the stupid fades/wipes/window morphs off anyway, so the computer runs faster and can multitask as much as possible (this is a guy who encodes x264 movies, simultaneously coding the movie’s audio into AAC while running a music player and keeping a BT client going, among other things).
I’ll stick with XP and funny “reviews” like this one, rather than upgrade.
October 17th, 2009 at 6:43 am
PROTECT MY BALLS
October 17th, 2009 at 6:32 am
Ohh, ‘95. How I long to play I Spy: Spooky Mansion one more time.
for the record, I’d take this shit over Vista any day.
October 17th, 2009 at 5:28 am
funny as fuck.. a real gem sunshine, thank you
October 17th, 2009 at 4:48 am
This article teaches us two things:
1. Never buy anything from eBay that, technically, does not exist yet.
2. Cracked.com is still funny.
October 17th, 2009 at 4:28 am
There sure is A LOT of people who missed the point of this article.
Haven’t had this good of a laugh in a very long time, Thank you!
October 17th, 2009 at 12:51 am
funny.
October 17th, 2009 at 12:26 am
“# You Idiot Says:
October 16th, 2009 at 11:56 am
14 seconds worth of searching google will provide you with a copy of windows 7 and a loader that gives you a full legit key. What the fuck were you thinking?”
It looks as if someone has COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY MISSED THE ENTIRE POINT OF THE ARTICLE.
October 17th, 2009 at 12:20 am
wow, this is the hardest i’ve laughed from this site, so far
October 17th, 2009 at 12:06 am
What the FUCK are you gonna do bout it?
October 16th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
You funny motherfucker! I laugh ass off.
October 16th, 2009 at 11:56 am
14 seconds worth of searching google will provide you with a copy of windows 7 and a loader that gives you a full legit key. What the fuck were you thinking?
October 16th, 2009 at 8:43 am
In future please don’t buy bootlegged software from ebay, steal it off the internet like the rest of us…
October 16th, 2009 at 2:34 am
Ok, seems like I am being cheated I also bought a windows 7 copy from a friend who works at Dell and he said that it is original one. But it is nothing like this one, it is total shit all windows are washed away and I can see the fucking desktop from the title of the windows. Shit I screwed up.
October 15th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
You are offically my favorite writer for Cracked.com
Windows 7 may have gotten **
But I give you *****
October 15th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Absolutely the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. Love the screen shots!
October 15th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
That is fucking hillarious. We just need to load up some DOS games now
October 15th, 2009 at 10:28 am
Very funny
!
October 15th, 2009 at 2:45 am
Great one. Your financial loss is also your comic win.
October 15th, 2009 at 2:19 am
Thank you, kind sir, for providing this piece of pure hilarity!
October 14th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
i lol’d
October 14th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
[...] this is a story of pure epic fail. A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com __________________ [...]
October 14th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
No guys, this is the TRUE Windows 7. The one we’re so accustomed to seeing and using is the bastard child of Windows Vista, AKA Windows 6.1.
October 14th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
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October 14th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Dood, I’ve had the real version of Windows 7 for like close to 2 months now. We get it free at the university that I attend..I could have hooked ya up
October 14th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
THERE WEREN’T ANY BLACK PEOPLE ON FRIENDS!!!!!!
Get your facts straight.
#heyohh
October 14th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Chris, you’re NHOT THE ONLY ONE!!
October 14th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Will microsoft please remake spacesimulator ‘94!
October 14th, 2009 at 3:44 am
Boot times for Windows ninty… i mean 7, are nothing compared to good old DOS. But yeah this review is great! I love the look - almost as stark as Snow Leopard!
October 14th, 2009 at 1:21 am
gSe7eN: It was the mixture that was so great.
The relatively calm and normal-sounding review just made the “preparing to kill a man” screenshots all the better.
Also, this article now has 666 responses, as of my posting.
Weird.
October 14th, 2009 at 12:31 am
Ah those were the days (he said wiping tears of laughter from his face) - when cd drives were an expensive optional extra - like seat belts in a car and the office paperclip was a cute novelty that you sat marvelling at - and whoa! you could change it to a dog or a robot or… hours of fun.
Remember trying to reload win95 onto a friends machine - he didn’t shell out £1200 for a pc with a cd drive so I spent long hours splitting the ‘95 install cd down onto x40 floppy discs…
Now that was computing.
Jonathan.
October 14th, 2009 at 12:08 am
I was disappoint by Vista either
Daisuke Matsuzaka Jersey
David Ortiz Jersey
David Ortiz Jersey
McAlister Jersey;
Cody Jersey;
Dan Cody Jersey
October 13th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Chris properly on the list of technology diggs-you should already be properly listed on page 7 for the entire LAST YEAR. It does not list you under tech-what are they thinking?
October 13th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Although performance has improved since Vista, major features appear to have been lopped off the OS to meet these performance marks.
You, sir, have been dugg.
Game.Point.set.match, game. whatever
October 13th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
WTF?? That’s way better than the Windows 7 RC version. They sure improved a lot in the release version. like that error window , it is useful to stop the addiction. and I bet run much faster.
lol
October 13th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
I’m sitting here in a nyquil-stupor, then the letter to Mom made me laugh so hard I think I coughed up a piece of lung. Hilarious!
October 13th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
I am not sure what the funniest part of this article is. Is it the actual review or is it the screen shots? I couldn’t measure the when I laughed harder as it was difficult to multi-task and do other things, such as breathing.
October 13th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
You should see if the Excel easter egg “The Hall of Tortured Souls” came back, since I felt like installing microsoft nescessitated a whole wall for my name alone!
October 13th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
I love the detail to your screenshots! Priceless!
October 13th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Roflcopter
Awesome review!
Side note: I am absolutely perplexed by the commenters here who don’t realize this is a joke. It is scary to say the least. Is it a lost-in-translation thing?
October 13th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
[...] A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay A must read for anyone contemplating making the move to Win7! Too funny. By: Chris Bucholz October 6th, 2009 The official release of Windows 7 is only a few weeks away, and if you
October 13th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
If you don’t have a FDD, you’re totally out of this generation. Not to mention, only 4 floppy disks? That’s AMAZING! Lightning fast!
Great article. Need to go change my pants.
October 13th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
[...] Compartió A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay [...]
October 13th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
I can’t remember the last time I laughed this hard. Awesome article.
October 13th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
wow!! my breath has been taken away. i really cant believe windows 7 is so advanced!! the fax utility will be outstanding and with my **new** floppy drive (breath it in) i will have hours of fun!! thanks!!
October 13th, 2009 at 10:49 am
Outstanding. Now I see what I have to look forward to.
October 13th, 2009 at 10:49 am
lol. I honestly thought this article was amazing. Great job, because I was expecting to be reading a simple review of the ACTUAL Windows 7.
Why would I expect anything different from Cracked?
October 13th, 2009 at 7:35 am
LOL! Its been a while since I’ve had laughing tears reading a post on the internet. Good one.
October 13th, 2009 at 7:08 am
I like it. Great post!
Every version of Windows has been a pain to install, and I don’t see why Windows 7 would have been any different.
Just buy a Mac.
October 13th, 2009 at 7:01 am
LOL, you forgot to bring up a DOS window to do a file copy. Now THAT would be an improvement in Win7.
October 13th, 2009 at 6:49 am
I used to work in MS from Win 98 to Late Win XP era… My mates always tell me, MS didn’t release the proper OS since you left!
But Win 7 could be it.
Great post!!!!
October 13th, 2009 at 2:00 am
oh and anyone thinking this is a proper review of windows 7… leave this site now you dumbasses! blatently a piss take!
October 13th, 2009 at 2:00 am
Genius! What a great review… “Although performance has improved since Vista” Too true my friend, too true! hahahahaha… However if this is based on a true story I feel for ya dude… gutted!
October 13th, 2009 at 1:32 am
In case anyone really reads the comments before typing, this article was done as a joke, he took the words “Windows 98″ and replaced them with “Windows 7″ pretending it was the wright one, just hopefully that introduction was part of the joke too ^_^
October 12th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Where do I get that Windows 95 theme?
October 12th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
That was comedy…
And to Barney: No, Win 7 still supports XP mode, it’s obvious he didn’t buy Win 7 ultimates (Which comes with a full copy of windows XP to be installed in dual boot “XP” mode)… USB support is one of the planned Extras you get with ultimate this time to really give people a reason to blow the extra cash unlike the Vista fiasco… They’ve done a pretty good job justifying the extra this time it seems
October 12th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
LOL. Good luck getting your money back. If this is a true story and you used paypal then you can reverse your money through paypal. They take the side of the buyer 95% of the time.
If you used a credit card then call the company. They can also reverse the charge.
and @podge… learn2read and not just look at the pweety pictures
October 12th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Loved the preview, thanks for taking the bullet for all of us
October 12th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
im a litle confused on this thing becasue one of the picture s shows a picture of Windows 95 and not windows 7? are you sure you we’re installing the corect version of the stoftware!
October 12th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
That was perfect.
October 12th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Bravo! Great, great stuff!
October 12th, 2009 at 10:03 am
lol @ everyone that took him seriously.
I actually laughed out loud while reading this…. at work.
;-p
October 12th, 2009 at 6:49 am
You must not have a good copy! That is what you get for cheating the system. We have been out to Seattle and walked with one of the team. It is so awesome to see what they do on their computers.
It will be exciting when the world sees WINDOWS 7 in a few weeks.
Sorry–Buy the real thing!
October 12th, 2009 at 4:05 am
My favorite part was the open windows at the bottom of the screenshots- “Finding peop…”, “IP Tracing Tech…” “Southwest Air…” “Ohio Motels…” “Knife Sharpen…” “Clown Costum…”
I love how you and DOB stick in those little extras. Awesome column!
October 12th, 2009 at 2:37 am
AWal UT Says:
October 7th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Insane email, well done…i’ve forwarded to both my friends!
^ Both my friends , lol, this just gets better & better
October 12th, 2009 at 2:24 am
At last an honest, truthfull and forthright review, good work Bucholz
October 12th, 2009 at 12:45 am
There were lots of reviews about windows 7 and they always praised about speed and quality of the windows 7. They never unveil the disadvantages like requirement of a floppy to install, USB doesn’t work properly, lack of useful features like quick launch bar. I think those reviewers are paid by Microsoft to trick customers. Anyway thanks for showing these bottlenecks about windows 7. I am not going to buy this one until those crappy issues are fixed.
October 12th, 2009 at 12:43 am
OMG dude ım still laughing thanks a lot
greetings from Turkey !!!
October 11th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
I have PTSD and every time I see a picture from Windows 95 I get a flashback.
October 11th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
I hope some of these people realize that wasn’t windows 7 o.0
Really great article though, made me laugh a lot!
October 11th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
hahahaha. this made me giggle. my dad is beta testing windows 7…i wonder if he has these same problems.
October 11th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
[...] A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay Something of a parody, reviews Windows 7 which is not yet widely available to the public. [...]
October 11th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Great review. I bet apple quotes it in one of their next commercials!
October 11th, 2009 at 8:48 am
I think really MS screwed this OS, performance is not everything and Windows 7 looks like crap.
October 11th, 2009 at 7:30 am
I remember the pain of multiple Windows 95 installations… this was hilarious!
October 11th, 2009 at 6:45 am
I’ve found the link on digg.com and your article is really well writen and OMG, sooo funny.
Best line: “Although performance has improved since Vista”, haha.
October 11th, 2009 at 6:40 am
Doesn’t the fact that Windows 7 has an XP mode for backwards-compatibility create a paradox here? Maybe that explains the basic Explorer look as so much runtime is devoted to keeping the PC from exploding in despair. Maybe before the next Windows release, Microsoft should consult a quantum physicist.
Great article, lmao all the way.
October 11th, 2009 at 6:02 am
Fuuuuuuck you bustttttttterd. Windows 7 is the greatest os all over the world.
October 11th, 2009 at 4:50 am
Dude, that’s not Windows 7.
October 11th, 2009 at 3:20 am
[...] 7 Official Page Cracked Review (Recommended) Tech Radar Review Engadget Review Lifehacker Articles YouTube [...]
October 11th, 2009 at 2:47 am
kinda funny.
“Although performance has improved since Vista..” was a good one.
October 10th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
My side hurts from laughing! The best parts are the little touches: the caption under the floppy picture, the Hey fu guy! email (and the response), the filenames, the letter to Mom. Thank you Chris!
October 10th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Dude… this was some funny stuff.
Thanks for the laugh.
LionelatDell
October 10th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
did you actually set up an ebay ID for UR_a_Ediot67?
October 10th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
[...] Windows 7 not looking good A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com [...]
October 10th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
LMFAO! Funny stuff!
I’m amazed that some sheeple think this review is serious. lol
October 10th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
That was hillarious, nice job. Greetings from Portugal.
October 10th, 2009 at 11:39 am
HAHAHAHA, that was GREAT! ….
October 10th, 2009 at 9:42 am
I stopped taking this serious after you said there were only betas and pre-release versions on the net and you resorted to buying it off Ebay.
Even better, Ebay didn’t do anything about it, despite it being an offense, according to Ebay’s rules.
So yeah, you gave yourself away in the first two paragraphs =p.
Using Windows 7 myself, the Windows 98 screenshots didn’t help your case either. It was a fun read though =p.
October 10th, 2009 at 8:48 am
Yeah, all I can say is “Buyer Beware” when purchasing pirated software off of ebay!
FANTASTIC POST!
October 10th, 2009 at 7:05 am
holy shit that was funny
October 10th, 2009 at 6:34 am
Has anything really changed from then to now? still useless as ever.
October 10th, 2009 at 6:30 am
Oh man, I think you got the Windows 7 Starter Edition…. Bad luck.
October 10th, 2009 at 2:23 am
ABSOLUTE WIN.
October 10th, 2009 at 2:08 am
To anybody who ACTUALLY thinks this review is serious, please find an elderly black man, then you fuck him with your 2 inch penis that bends sharply upward. As you are doing this, yell out the name of your mother as loudly as possible, then jump off a building into highway traffic.
October 10th, 2009 at 1:29 am
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!
October 10th, 2009 at 12:00 am
Awesome! I’m still laughing.
Greetings from Italy.
October 9th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
[...] di Windows 7 più bella: banale scrivere Geektwice, meglio riderci sopra con la recensione di Cracked.com Ciao! Benvenuto su Geektwice! Ti consiglio di sottoscrivere il nostro RSS feed per poter rimanere [...]
October 9th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Damn. Was hoping to upgrade our computers from this Vista crap.
But it does look basic and bloat-free, and that’s a refreshing bonus.
October 9th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Thanks for the funniest thing I have read for years. Who says IT is full of geeks and propeller heads!! But as an Aussie, I need to know the truth to restore my faith in Americans. The posters (Steven Hill and Chris Bennett) who seemed to believe this was a real review and the “reviewer” really believed it was Win7 - they were also part of the satire right?? Surely they could not be serious??
October 9th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
You have never lived until you’ve tried Windows Fax.
I took this blog seriously for…. 8 seconds
If you REALLY tried splitting the Windows 7 disc image to install off Floppy Discs, you’d be installing… 1672 floppy discs 
Should take you a while 
(not possible).
You sir are a king among men, thank you for the hilarious blog.
How to destroy a man’s larynx
THINGS THAT ARE TYPED IN CAPITALS
These made me LOL
October 9th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
I have to say, I was in tears reading this because it was so hilarious! I haven’t laughed this hard in god knows when…it certainly raised my spirits in the hard times I’ve been going through lately.
October 9th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
Stupid!!!!
October 9th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Funniest thing I’ve read in a long time! Nice work!!
October 9th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Sooooooooo funny.
But I can’t tell if he really tried to buy Windows 7 (which I don’t see how anyone could even sell it), or if even that part is a joke.
October 9th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
You should’ve gone back to Ebay to the same seller and try to buy a floppy from him!
October 9th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
[...] &-)—|– Doesn’t look too good. __________________ Play emulated games online Main Rig||Intel Q6600@3.2 ghertz|4×1gb DDR2 [...]
October 9th, 2009 at 11:47 am
That was awesome.
Explorer 2.0…
October 9th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Im amazed that some people believe that this is an actual review of windows 7!
October 9th, 2009 at 10:28 am
hahaha this is hillarious!
great review chris!
the best review of the year 2009 !
October 9th, 2009 at 10:22 am
i completely cracked up reading this paragraph:
“Hardware Support
Terrible. I don’t have any particular exotic hardware on my system, but Windows 7 still struggled to find drivers for basically everything. Screen resolution was limited to 640 x 480, and my external mouse didn’t work because apparently Windows 7 doesn’t have USB support. Bizarre. I’ll spare you the details of what I had to do to get the wireless working, but let’s just say it involved 27 hours of crying.”
October 9th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Finally, an new OS from Microsoft that doesn’t seem to hog resources, finally I’ll be able to use my 500MB harddrive
October 9th, 2009 at 7:43 am
I was thinking of buying Windows 7 as soon as it hits market. But thanks to your review now I changed my decision not to buy it. Simply seems like disgusting OS when compared to age old XP I’m using now. Probably it must be because of that fax thing you mentioned. Anyway I don’t need fax so I’ll stick to XP until service pack comes. Thanks for saving some of my money otherwise I would be spending on some shit.
October 9th, 2009 at 7:40 am
Just read this for the second time and think I actually laughed more than the first time! Pure genius so thank you Chris. I especially love the little details like the letter to your Mum and the e-mail to the ’seller’ on Ebay. But my favourite has to be the stress test - a word document, 2 internet explorer windows and minesweeper - absolutely brilliant! Hopefully you’ll be reviewing something else soon - perhaps a new PC such as the Commodore Amiga?!
October 9th, 2009 at 5:34 am
[...] miss Cracked’s review of Windows 7. Strangely it comes on four 3.5” floppy disks. Floppies are so two thousand and [...]
October 9th, 2009 at 5:30 am
That is hilarious! Thanks for a good laugh!
October 8th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
This pretty much made my night.
Thank you.
October 8th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
Wanna find a tall partner???
Here is a very nice place ——— Tallfinder(com) ———It’s where Tall people look for someone to enjoy their lifestyle with. Come in and stay a while. Post a message, a pic of yourself and check out the photo galleries. You will find someone you like there…
October 8th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
[...] plan. So below I present my review of
October 8th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
god that’s funny! i look forward to experiencing it.
October 8th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
You forgot to mention the Media Player!! I love the “Windows 7″ media player.. so.. simple. And pleasantly cryptic in some ways.
Bottom line, I can play the shit out of those MIDIs!!
Love it!
October 8th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
ha, that looks like windows 95 to me… i think youve been ripped off my friend.
October 8th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
LMAO!
You just turned my decidedly crap morning into a pretty good day. Thanks for the fantastic write-up. Excellent value (better than you’re awesome pirated copy of Windows 7 anyway). Haha.
(So glad my employer has a volume-licensing arrangement with Microsoft & I could install Windows 7 Enterprise several weeks ago.)
October 8th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
I wish I could get a copy of this version so I can play all my old games. Mayby you could get a review of Windows 98 for me?
October 8th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
watch weeds online at http://www.watchweeds-online.com … I highly reccommend it its a really good series they have all seasons and episodes there, enjoy
October 8th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Kiss my ass Chris.
October 8th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
That’s some funny shit! My favorite part is the letter to his mom….honestly you had that error coming to you.
October 8th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
[...] [...]
October 8th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Loved the progression of screenshots! And Windows 95 has improved performance over Vista XD
October 8th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
LOL
ITS BETTER THAN VISTA!!!
October 8th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
[...] is also this nice new satire about Vista 7 for those in the mood for humour. The official release of Windows 7 is only a few weeks away, and [...]
October 8th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
LMAO your my hero. laughed from beginning to end. keep it up.
October 8th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
[...] of the operating system you’re probably wondering what all the hype is about. After reading this review I’m guessing you’ll all be disappointed. [...]
October 8th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Epic! funniest thing I’ve read in ages! well done!
October 8th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
teeheehee…poor Win 95…at least it wasn’t Win 3.1…which actually would have been better…
October 8th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
This article was amazing. I laughed the whole way through.
October 8th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Wow!!! Hilarious bro… Hilarious … This is truly one of the most funniest articles I’ve read lately… Love the screen shots…
Two Stars … Great stuff,
October 8th, 2009 at 11:27 am
HAHAHAHAH Great stuff!!
Additional laughs found, of course, in the comments. Anyone who didnt get this… shouldnt be using a computer at all.
In fact, how the hell would you have even found this site? Looking over the shoulder of someone with a fractionally larger, more evolved brain, no doubt.
October 8th, 2009 at 11:25 am
[...] [...]
October 8th, 2009 at 11:23 am
The screen shots are hilarious!! I have never laughed so hard!
Awesome article.
October 8th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Well, you ARE an idiot! Whew. Windows 95 becomes Windows 7. What a great joke on all the putzes who have left comments and didn’t get what a put-on you are doing.
Also, Kandy Balvins is a dirty filthy thief.
October 8th, 2009 at 9:24 am
HAHAHAHAHAH
You made my day.. amazing article
October 8th, 2009 at 8:26 am
Hands down the best article on Cracked.com!
I laughed so hard people actually turned their heads from the screens to see what I was doing - I’m at school in a computer room, and apparently laughter is forbidden in here.
” Curiously, the useful Quick Launch bar seems to have disappeared. I guess with limited room on the floppies, space had to be made for the popular Microsoft Fax.”
Epic quote, still laughing!
October 8th, 2009 at 8:18 am
I couldn’t stop laughing through the whole thing.
WELL DONE!!!
October 8th, 2009 at 7:02 am
[...] you enjoy this you may find this article funny from [...]
October 8th, 2009 at 6:51 am
[...] 7 may lead to murder…….. A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com __________________ 26 September… And he asked him, "What is thy name?" and he [...]
October 8th, 2009 at 6:36 am
4 floppies? Windows 95 came on 13 floppies, guy.
October 8th, 2009 at 5:36 am
FREE Webcam Shows
http://www.Adult-Facebook.com
October 8th, 2009 at 5:04 am
Haaahaahahaaaaaaaaaaa
heheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
funny !!!
October 8th, 2009 at 3:36 am
Funniest thing I’ve ever read. The screenshots improve it.
October 8th, 2009 at 3:33 am
UR_a_Ediot67 has a zero feedback - you did not leave a negative then ?
Shame on ebay not refunding you - if you paid via paypal you should be ably to get a refund.
October 8th, 2009 at 2:30 am
The reviewer, with all his brain power seems like a (very) Stupid Guy! =)
October 8th, 2009 at 2:12 am
I almost let my bladder go loose reading this article! Hilarious thanks for the laugh.
October 8th, 2009 at 2:12 am
Funny stuff, loved the ‘dear mom’-letter in the background. If I remember correctly people could only have 8 letter names in the old windows/Dos. I wonder what amazing things microsoft will come up with to annoy me in the future. “You did something wrong, so…eh…don´t do it again”
October 8th, 2009 at 1:26 am
[...] http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder/ [...]
October 8th, 2009 at 1:15 am
But you didn’t mention all the pretty screen savers!
October 8th, 2009 at 12:47 am
Hilarious!
I’m using this as a reminder of how far operating systems have come since Win95, as I am currently duel booting WinVista and Win7 I can easily say Win7 is fantastic.
October 8th, 2009 at 12:03 am
Did you check out the new feature called “clippy”?
FUCKING AWESOME. My life is complete.
October 7th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
It good look and feel It will be better and migration will with iYogi
October 7th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
this is funny as hell. the best i have seen in a while…
October 7th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
ha ha…no way you actually did this… are people seriously selling versions of WIndows 7 on eBay? Well probably…but WOW! Love this review.
Truth: I use Windows 7 Enterprise and it kicks ass over Vista. There’s like extensive search features for the Start button and that’s probably the best part and, as far as I can tell, the only major change.
but what do I know? I’m typing from a mac.
October 7th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
[...] is a great review I read for Windows 7. I highly suggest reading it. A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com __________________ 2002 Mustang GT BBK CAI - Flowmaster Catbacks - Pro 5.0 [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
win95… oh man that takes me back
October 7th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Wow this article was shitty, give windows a fair review you mac fanboy
October 7th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
AWESOME jaja loved it.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Bucholz.. you get the highest level of props that can ever be given, for two reasons..
1.) Writing one of the funniest articles I have ever read on Cracked.
2.) Inciting one of the best trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls comments sections on an article on Cracked.com.
You, sir, are the awesome.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
That ebay account was made yesterday loser!!!!!
October 7th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Great, er…review!
I think it was the subtle backstory buried in that did it for me…
October 7th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I feel like an idiot, but i laughed ALL the way through this article. VERY cleverly written indeed! I suppose most of the humor was because I used to suffer through all those problems with windows 95. Also, the letter to mom was amazing!, well what part I could see, the best part was imagining what the letter said in full!
Thanks for this funny break
October 7th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
[...] http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder/ Filed under: Operating Systems No Comments [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
That’s the problem with microsoft, it will make you cry one way or another;)
October 7th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
@Kylie
hi!
I’d like your eddy iot to meet Arnie D. Yacht
October 7th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
You’re a trooper by sticking with the review XD
October 7th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Good to see my brother UR_a_Ediot67 is at it again….
October 7th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
STAY TUNED
Penguin Menticide (MY BAND) Will Be Releasing
Stupid, Naïve, Tortured and Driven
1 SINGING BOWL
2 NUMBER ONE MANIA
3 FIRE OF FREQUENCY
4 BLURRED VISION
5 VIBRATING LARYNX
6 TWISTED WORDS
7 BLACK IMAGINATION MANIFESTO
8 MIGRANES & MALLEABLE FACES
9 UNCONTROLLABLE HEART
10 THIRSTY EAR
11 NOSE RINGS
12 WAR SHAKES
13 BLACK HOLE OF DRIFTING ECHOES
14 ENERGY CAPS
15 FREEZING BACKS
16 VERBAL TRIPS
17 SLEEPLESS STAGE
18 ELECTRICAL INTERFERENCE
19 FACE TWITCHES
20 CLICKING PENS
21 KIDS WITH GUNS
22 COMPUTER SCREEN GLITCHES
23 SPINNING ELECTRON ON THE TEMPLE
24 SPACED OUT & SLOWED DOWN
25 OPTIC FIBER EYES
26 GODS RED SIGHT
27 LIGHT PEOPLE
28 NOTHING SOUNDS RIGHT
29 ROCKING CHAIR EYES
30 PATTERN INTERFERENCE
31 FREAKED OUT
32 COMPUTERS MY FRIENDS
33 WATERED DOWN & DRYING UP
34 NLP SHIFTING REALITY
35 THE MIGHTY HAND, EYE AND VOICE
36 MONTYS FOOT
37 PIRATES VERSUS NINJAS
38 ROYAL MURDER MONEY
39 D.O.A PLAYER
40 WAR ON TERROR
41 CODE AND KEYS
42 MAD PIZZA LABORATORY
43 IMAGINATION BURNS
44 MEMORY STITCH
45 EMPTY PROMISES
46 MONKEYS BACK IN TIME
47 TRICKS AND SMOKE SCREENS
48 FUBARd UNITE
October 7th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
How to destroy a Man’s Larynx
Improvised weapons
THINGS TYPED IN CAPITAL LETTERS
Ur an eddy iot
October 7th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Eric i think i needed to be shot - the aha coin dropped a little late and yet i still think i am missing something
October 7th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Funny, but i feel like i am missing something…
October 7th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
brilliant. laughed the whole way through.
October 7th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
[...] Using Windows 7 May Lead to Murder Email this to a friend?Digg this!Share this on del.icio.usTweet This!Share this on FriendFeedAdd this to Google BookmarksBuzz up!Post this to MySpaceShare this on FacebookShare this on TechnoratiShare this on LinkedinShare this on RedditPost this to PosterousStumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUponTip this to TechMeme [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
I totally googled “large breasted angels”… Fuck google image search!
October 7th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Amazing article <3
October 7th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
[...] So I just bought a release copy of Windows 7 on eBay… A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
“Why would people continue to use eBay when there are cheaper ways? http://www.sellbits.com lets you post anything you want for $1 and they don’t take percentages! Also, you can upload 8 pictures for free and not just 1.”
yeah whytf are people still using shitBAY & feePAL
fuck that BIG racket
October 7th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
“And they say americans don’t understand sarcasm…”
We don’t.
October 7th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
this is a great article, I’ll stick with the Windows and ME since 7 still seems to be buggy.
October 7th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Damn it, Oprah! I’m so sorry I recommended that upgrade!
October 7th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
It was funny, but everyone damn well knows (or should know) that the Windows 7 RTM was leaked in July, but I guess this little story wouldn’t sound right otherwise.
October 7th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
And they say americans don’t understand sarcasm…
October 7th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
This post has created or saved 5 million jobs.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
I invented the internet while eating potatoes with Dan Quayle.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
[...] http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder/ [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
I invented Windows 7.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Ok, I’m pretty sure the funniest part to me was the clear effort in locating “UR_a_Ediot67″ throughout the screenshots of ‘Windows 7′.
Also reminds me that when we cleaned out the office when my old company shut down, I found in the server room copies of EVERY Windows version known to man. Some unopened.
And a whole box of 5 1/4 inch floppy disks.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
I havent laughed like that in a long time hahaha!
October 7th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
I read this article while I was in a very boring rudimentary IT class that my school made me take for some reason (I build PCs, among other things). That was a bad idea. While the prof was talking about the up rise of the internet in the early 90s, I could barely hold back my laughter.
October 7th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Great review, and I bailed out of using Windows when Vista was about to be released. I liked 3.1 quite well but the following versions got worse and worse.
What do you expect from a guy who named his company after his private parts??
Regards,
Hoosierdaddy
October 7th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
effing genius!! lmao!!
October 7th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Why would people continue to use eBay when there are cheaper ways? http://www.sellbits.com lets you post anything you want for $1 and they don’t take percentages! Also, you can upload 8 pictures for free and not just 1.
October 7th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
fooking brill pmsl nice one made my day
October 7th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
LoL , the best joke in a long time !!!!!!
Xp running here !
Thx Bucholz
October 7th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
This was absolutely hilarious! Kudo’s to you for the time and effort you have put into it! Great job man!
October 7th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
I absolutely love how people don’t understand what actually happened.. like the woman who said she saw screenshots from 7 and thinks you “may” have purchased the wrong one.. it baffles me how dumb these people are. for all the absolute morons out there- obviously this man got robbed and got windows 95 when he thought he was getting v7. as a joke he decided to go by a floppy drive and install it an write a review on what the person sent him as v7. if you are too much of an idiot to actually understand what this review was you might need to be killed
October 7th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Sorry, I had to go back and read it again to see how quick I would be back in tears from laughing so hard…this did it for me “I chose to install all the options, including something called Microsoft Fax, simply because it sounded fucking amazing.” PLEASE, somebody get this to Bill Gates. You know he would love it!
October 7th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
[...] early review of Windows 7 purchased off of eBay. Some people may not think its funny, others may not get it, but this this [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
[...] Windows 7 For any of you looking to upgrade, this might help. __________________ ENTROPY ~Legion [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
[...] Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay This is freaking hilarious!!!!!!!!!! A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com __________________ Don’t follow the people on twitter claiming to have 1000 invites to google [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
The most CLASSIC story ever told! I was in tears throughout!!! Bravo my friend. You have taken the high road here and have shared with millions your love for windows. Minesweeper!!! ROTFLMAO. Thank you.
October 7th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
mint as fuck.
thank you.
———————————–
wapoc for the win.
October 7th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
What i’m really curious about is the boot time? I’d heard there were improvements.
October 7th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
I have laughed so hard , tears running over my face !!!
thanks for this amusing review !!!
October 7th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Briefcase is still alive and as well as ever in Windows 7. It is the living dead feature.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
BTW… Republican, you don’t have a radio show do you?
October 7th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Hey there Bucholz,
thanks for this review , it’s a long time ago that i had so much fun to read a review!
Really great done !
Greetings Irene
October 7th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Insane email, well done…i’ve forwarded to both my friends!
October 7th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
“I was highly disappointed with Windows 7. Although performance has improved since Vista”
That’s GOLD, Jerry… GOLD!
October 7th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Oh. My. God.
You are fucking amazing.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
00110001, if you don’t like Windows 7, try Macs! They don’t support any software, and you won’t get viruses because almost nobody uses it! Also, they came out something called “overlapping windows”. I’m not sure what that is, but it sounds so amazing that you should buy it.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Absolutely fucking hilarious bro.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Honey, I think you installed the wrong version of windows. I seen commercials of windows 7 on the tv and it looks lot nicer then the screenshots you posted. You bought the wrong windows. I bless your heart my son. I will pray for you.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
irony on top of irony, well I liked it republican, nice
October 7th, 2009 at 11:59 am
I like how the explorer has direct icons for the different VIEW type settings.. none of noob shite having to one click icon, and then select some other view/zoom settings bullshit.
And how the main drive isn’t cluttered with this fuckup of system/user profile folders. Thanks to those Asshats at Microshite headquarters delivering on noobshit improvements. Explorer teams should be fired for incompetence and being noobs!
heck even the status bar is slim, and not some oversized useless noobshit.
“Error messages were cryptic and meaningless to me – see below.”
lol nothing changed on that then.
“branching menu. If you can’t figure that out”
I don’t think noobs can understand a branching menu. I guess that is why those retards at MS took it out instead of leaving it in as an option. Rather have some shitty little frame showing installed items, and play click, open, scroll, close, click… fucking retards.
Or you use the shitty desktop failsearch.
“It can render text and images however, which if you think about it, is probably the most important 40 percent of the Internet anyways. ”
MS always seeks to deliver the best experience…. to fucking noobs that don’t know anybetter that is! IE8 what a pile of shite….in gui, performance, privacy, extensions, engine,… everything really.
“Curiously, the useful Quick Launch bar seems to have disappeared. ”
lol so true, did they improve it? fuck that, just bury it
btw I like how you can actually fucking see and read the different taskbar items, as opposed to seeing some fucking noobshit overized icon 
wow thats so windows 3.x..
DX11 the new DX10
Microsoft progress eh?.. WHAT FUCKING PROGRESS!
Winshite 7, for retards who don’t know any better.
October 7th, 2009 at 11:44 am
[...] http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder/ a few seconds ago from Gwibber [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 11:25 am
This has confirmed what I already suspected; Windows 7 is terrible. I’m now going to wait till Windows 8 is released (confirmed release date April 1,2010). This morning CEO Steve Ballmer confirmed this date with “We’ll get it right the third time” rant. See the video here:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1919246
October 7th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Gold mate, simply gold! LOL
October 7th, 2009 at 11:15 am
fuck word appears 55 times in this site (until now).
good: 44
lol: 42
ass: 41
hilarious: 35
wow: 30
awesome: 27
republican: 16
retard: same as republican (oh… wait!)
October 7th, 2009 at 11:09 am
“Will the gates of Heaven open up…”
Gates of Heaven…hahaha!! Nice reference to a football player. I guess Cracked has cracked down on dick jokes and references, so a football player references will do. What? What about a Bill?
“… and a consort of large breasted angels descend to guide you into computing heaven?”
Er…you know that large breasted angels consort with…um….guys with looong dicks, right? CB, I think you are a closet case. Unless the angels happen to be lezzies, in which case you are a hero to all cracked readers.
October 7th, 2009 at 11:03 am
LMAO. Awesome article
October 7th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Thank you Chris Bucholz, was very nice to laugh like this,great article
October 7th, 2009 at 10:49 am
Bloody hell, don’t you guys have any way of keeping young children (such as Republican) off this website? I’m finding it difficult to believe that anyone who made it through grade school would either A) not get the joke or B) think a couple of hundred other people or so wouldn’t notice the “error.”
Brilliant article, Mr. Bucholz - wish I’d read it sooner.
October 7th, 2009 at 10:35 am
WOW! Funny stuff! I was laughing my ass off while reading this!
On a side note…WOW are some of these comments STUPID! I honestly can’t believe that someone navigated to a satirical website, read an article, and took it seriously! Holy shit!
October 7th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Chris,
That is the funniest shit ever! I love it! (You dumping on ediot_67!)
October 7th, 2009 at 10:26 am
at least he didn’t send you Windows ME…. that would be even worst !!
October 7th, 2009 at 10:26 am
LOL I love the screenshots
October 7th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Hate to break it to you, but that’s Windows 95 and it comes before XP. If you previously had Vista or are a performance nut and still clinging to your XP, then the next upgrade before 7 is Windows 3.11.
It gets you 4 major versions into the number-branded releases that come after Vista. Forget 4, 5, and 6 though, those were only released in Japan.
BTW they’re going back to floppies due to licensing disputes. Something about Einstein’s estate not getting enough in royalties from MS for using photons, an optical media technology.
This comment is serious business and I am a serious person who conducts serious business.
October 7th, 2009 at 10:03 am
That’s why I don’t trust eBay
October 7th, 2009 at 9:58 am
I laugh the first time with the “Son. of. a. bitch” comment on the picture… from there I keep LOL…but…
I will ask the same as most ppl here…
REALLY THERE IS SOMEONE WHO DON’T GET THAT THIS IS A JOKE???
We should be worried about them…I mean…this people drive, vote….are alive! Or these are the zombies that Cracked was telling us about in so many articles??
Bucholz: you’re great.
People who took this seriously (and even send links of “real W7″ articles): dude, how do you breath? Do you have some song or a helper to remind you that?
October 7th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Great review!! I found that while wearing my three wolves howling at moon T-shirt the system worked without any errors. As a matter of fact you get secret passwords from Mr. G himself, but make sure you have the foil prymid under your chair.
October 7th, 2009 at 9:57 am
“Sigh” i think republican is for real. he said someone was suplanting his “nick”… maybe the tube post is the troll post.
October 7th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Dude that was hilarious
October 7th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Dude,
I Have NEVER laughed that hard in my life. My son thought I was dying.
Thank you for one great bit of humor.
October 7th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Do you people actually think Republican is being serious? Sigh… lets make the connection here: Whats his name? How persistent about being stupid is he? … now… connecting those two pieces what do you think his purpose is? I’m not going to spell it out for you, it hit me after I read his second post.
October 7th, 2009 at 9:31 am
LAWL
October 7th, 2009 at 9:30 am
This whole article had me rolling on the floor, you are awesome Bucholz.
October 7th, 2009 at 9:19 am
If you can get your wireless working, then hell:
You can install IE5 and Office 97, and it’s not a useless machine… You also have quite a library of games from Civ I/II, a few SimCities, Need for Speed I-III, Myst, and a bunch of others (and DOS games like Doom and Lemmings).
You could have, instead, installed Windows NT4, which would have opened you up to -
Firefox 2 (final release)
Thunderbird 2 (current release)
OpenOffice.org
Internet Explorer 6
Which would, of course, leave you with one of the most absurdly stable, light, and fast systems… which has little to no applications for it (but if you can use the internet in still-popular browsers and compose email in the latest Thunderbird, and make docs and docx’s, then you’re golden.
October 7th, 2009 at 9:15 am
Lmao.
This was really funny. Actual tears.
October 7th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Reading the half covered letter under the error screen destroyed me. Good article lol
October 7th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Republican is another, trollish joke, I think
October 7th, 2009 at 9:11 am
People are always knocking the latest technology. I must admit I downloaded Windows 7 myself from th pirate bay. Microsoft said something about it being faster and it certainly is. I was stunned when even the download finished in about 5 minutes. Burning the floppys was easy and it installed quickly too. I see what Chris means about the screen resolution though. It doesn’t handle my NVIDIA GeForce GTX 295 at all well. Maybe NVIDIA need to work on the Windows 7 driver a bit more. The backwards compatibility is truly amazing though. When my laserjet 1320 wouldn’t work (Drivers again. Come on HP). I tried my old daisy wheel printer that hasn’t been supported for years. It worked like a charm, unlike with Vista! I think Windows 7 is a massive improvement over Vista, and should be fantastic when the hardware manufacturers have caught up with the drivers.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Well to be brutally honest most of the code in this version of “Windows 7″ is in the actual release, which is great for you, because you don’t have to deal with graphics intensive pointless interface changes with the same programming as a typewriter.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Republican, you best be trolling because if you are serious then you are living proof of exactly why your party has gone off the deep end into insanity. Are you to ignorant to see an obvious joke when its right in front of you? Evidently not. You are the perfect example of the critical thinking skills on your side are clearly lacking. But hell, what do I know, I am just a Fundamental Islamic Atheist Communist Nazi
October 7th, 2009 at 8:27 am
BOOM!
October 7th, 2009 at 8:27 am
Ignorant Republican is Ignorant.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:15 am
Republican, thanks for once again showing how far the party has fallen. Really? It’s not windows 7 you say!? Balderdash! That 95 on the cover must be a typo.
Sheesh.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:14 am
Verbalizer, but it’s not WINDOWS 7 and the author and the readers think it is!!!
And yes, I know some people using my name are just joking. I know that, I’m not an idiot.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:09 am
Republican…its a joke man…holy shit. And a pretty fuckin funny one.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:55 am
Windows?
Ubuntu.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:45 am
Coffee burns coming out your nose from laughing so hard.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:33 am
Blake, I instantly knew that it wasn’t WINDOWS 7 and the author of the article was wrong about it ’cause hes an idiot, but you are right, most people clap and say the column is good, when it’s obviously an error ’cause it’s WINDOWS 95 or something.
And the people saying they are me, they are not they are just using my nick.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:29 am
Shouldn’t your second sentence begin “Will the Gates of Heaven open up and a consort….” - capital G, take advantage of the pun! Awesome post btw.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:29 am
Best review post ever.
Just one question, can u upload this build to ThePirateBay?
October 7th, 2009 at 7:28 am
Well this article certainly go popular fast…
Bucholz, are you a genie?
October 7th, 2009 at 7:27 am
“South Africa > America”
+1
dumb fucks!
October 7th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I have to say that I honestly wouldn’t doubt the performance being better than vista’s..Wonderful article, dude, I’m going to have to reread this every time I need a good laugh.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:21 am
This was by far the funniest thing I have read in a while. OMG was i laughing my ass off. You should really do more stuff like this! Coming up with something like that was truely genius.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:18 am
eBay….. that’s how you get Windows 7 and PS3’sssss….. floppy packed…. you deserved it….
on the lighter side….. Windows 7 is awesome….
October 7th, 2009 at 7:18 am
^^ upload it on piratebay.com? ^^
thanks for the good love sir ^^
**saving webpage**
October 7th, 2009 at 7:16 am
The sad part is, I bet 2/3 of all the people that read this article will actually think that that is windows 7.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:15 am
Double LOL. No OS is good without fax.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:07 am
hilarious ….u must have tied a bag of icecubes to keep ur cool while s seriously reviewing the much awaited….really was amazed to find retro stuff comes back not only in fashion but also in software
October 7th, 2009 at 7:07 am
One thing for sure is that they’ve solved most compatibility issues with old games hahaha
October 7th, 2009 at 7:06 am
you can find the REAL thing on the youtubes through the google. you see, that’s how the internets work- it’s a series of tubes.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:06 am
wow - I guess I won’t buy this upgrade! I’m heading to my Apple store right now.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:03 am
Blake, I instantly knew that it wasn’t WINDOWS 7 and the author of the article was wrong about it ’cause hes an idiot, but you are right, most people clap and say the column is good, when it’s obviously an error ’cause it’s WINDOWS 95 or something.
October 7th, 2009 at 7:01 am
South Africa > America
Suck it dumb fucks!
October 7th, 2009 at 7:01 am
Jesh, so many dumb people all on one site. gota give admin credit for that.
nice one CHRIS. shame the neurotically challenged missed the point.
October 7th, 2009 at 6:59 am
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMZOMG!
BRILLIANT! I allmost laughed my ASS of! (quite literally!) reading this.
October 7th, 2009 at 6:53 am
Wow some real stupid people here.
For all the people saying “Dude you’re a noob. That’s windows 95 not 7 you r tard.”
HE KNOWS THAT. It’s all a joke and a very good one. I feel sorry for people like Chris Bennett and Steven Hill.
Awesome review Chris Bucholz. Looks like I’ll be giving windows 7 a miss
October 7th, 2009 at 6:50 am
Holy virgin fuckin’ shit… Hilarious review… Would you be my father?
October 7th, 2009 at 6:50 am
X-wing vs Tie Fighter was so fucking awesome. so was all of the wing commanders. windows 95 was better than win ME. this new windows 7 looks pretty sweet. worth the $150
October 7th, 2009 at 6:49 am
Hilarious. But after reading some of the comments I’ve become disappointed with the human race. I’m going to have to scroll back up and laugh again to cheer myself up.
October 7th, 2009 at 6:47 am
Looks like you got Windows 7 Flashback Edition. It’s in limited release. It will probably be a collector’s item some day.
October 7th, 2009 at 6:45 am
HAHAHAHAHA
That HUGE FAIL turned into an EPIC WIN, probably the first time evah, congratulations!
October 7th, 2009 at 6:45 am
muahahaahaa!!!!
Really good XD
October 7th, 2009 at 6:42 am
Wow, Republican and James…..u guys really missed the point of this article didnt you. I guess sarcasm and whit are just a little beyond what you can handle on a daily basis.
Great article….had us all laughing at the office.
October 7th, 2009 at 6:42 am
Obviously Republican has the whole thing figured out. Congratulations, sir!
October 7th, 2009 at 6:39 am
Republican, who is the idiot here?
October 7th, 2009 at 6:37 am
I miss the good ol’ days of Windows 7. Getting X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter to work on Vista is a bitch.
October 7th, 2009 at 6:32 am
WTF You are an idiot that’s not WINDOWS 7, its the fucking WINDOWS 95 or 3.11 or something, but not WINDOWS 7.
It’s obvious thats an older version of WINDOWS are you blind or something.
LOL and you wrote a long article thinking it’s WINDOWS 7. You idiot.
October 7th, 2009 at 6:20 am
[...] damm hilarious xD!! http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder/ [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 6:20 am
Henning, you are exactly the kind of person who needs to stick with a MAC
October 7th, 2009 at 6:20 am
[...] products and converted fully to the Mac, your Uncle Dave is glad he can skip all this. I feel the article writer’s pain. The official release of Windows 7 is only a few weeks away, and if you’re anything like me, [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 6:07 am
Most of you have missed the point on window 7 article, for years inocent people have been rip off on ebay must be billions of dollars by now and nobody stop those fuckers from doing that.
October 7th, 2009 at 6:06 am
Glad I’m on MAC and NOT Windows JUNK
October 7th, 2009 at 5:56 am
LoL this is like the most honest review of windows 7. Got me laughing and I haven’t laughed for months.
October 7th, 2009 at 5:55 am
[...] 7 Review A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com __________________ - [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 5:51 am
Im fucking laughting my ass off hahaha
Pretty hilarious review man! Thank you for making my day
October 7th, 2009 at 5:50 am
[...] Review of Window 7 - made me laugh A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 5:48 am
Very good article, it will have me laughing out all day.
But even more fun is the story you can read between the lines in the minimized windows- finding people, hotels in Ohio, knife sharpening, Plastic surgery… AWESOME
October 7th, 2009 at 5:44 am
So you can get the final release version of Windows 7 now via MSDNAA if you’re a student.
Hilarious article
October 7th, 2009 at 5:35 am
awesome. brilliant.
October 7th, 2009 at 5:31 am
Loved the article - top class. It’s a shame you didn’t get to try out Microsoft Fax though. I liked the repetitive way it found itself into the story. Keep up the good work!
October 7th, 2009 at 5:30 am
Frog box that jackass.
October 7th, 2009 at 5:25 am
i laughed my ass off at this, will definitely be sending the link to friends to read.
f@#$in’ brilliant.
October 7th, 2009 at 5:24 am
very funny. I enjoyed the extra work that went into the fake letters + minimized websites.
October 7th, 2009 at 5:22 am
Is this a joke? U show a picture of 95, not to mention u can bit torrent a w7 cd. W is awesome so u must really be an idiot. LoL
October 7th, 2009 at 5:18 am
Brilliant. Be warned - I laughed so hard my boss looked over at me and spotted that I wasn’t actually doing any work.
October 7th, 2009 at 5:12 am
wow, who would have thought we’d make it all the way to windows 95! seems like i was just hearing about windows 7 pretty recently, but i guess nothing can stop progress!
does anyone know if they are planning a special event when they get to windows 100?
October 7th, 2009 at 5:06 am
LOL. Good stuff.
October 7th, 2009 at 5:01 am
ROFLMAO!!!! That was great!
October 7th, 2009 at 4:53 am
Truely one of the best articles I ve read for a long long time. I sincerely hope you get your money back and that moron gets a jail sentence for 7 years in a cell without windows.
October 7th, 2009 at 4:37 am
LMAO!!!
Brilliant!!!
October 7th, 2009 at 4:29 am
Wow, 75% of you people are legally retarded. Please remove the spoon from your eye, dear. It’s a JOKE. Did you not realize what website you’re on?
October 7th, 2009 at 4:22 am
That is some funny stuff and I have not laughed so much in a while
October 7th, 2009 at 4:17 am
Great article!
FYI, ” The retail floppy disk version of Windows 95 came on 13 DMF formatted floppy disks, while OSR 2.1 doubled the floppy count to 26″
it looks like your pic has more than 4 disks
Looks more like 4 packs of stacked disks.
October 7th, 2009 at 4:11 am
[...] be all its cracked up to be October 7th, 2009 | Tags: submitted by creon [link] [194 comments] Read Full Story from Reddit WTF. Leave a comment Related Posts & VideosNo [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 4:10 am
Freaking awesome, looks so much better than vista, can’t wait for the release! lol
October 7th, 2009 at 4:07 am
Awesome. Love it.
It’s hard to believe some commenters thought you thought you actually had W7…
And funny when commenters suggest “why didn’t you just go some where and download it?” - - - as though you didn’t know that.
It’s totally funny, and subtle screen shots are awesome.
I LOVE THE “it’s an improvement over vista” comment!!!!
October 7th, 2009 at 4:03 am
Wow, hilarious! The “Dear Mom” screen shot was the best…
October 7th, 2009 at 4:02 am
Afrikaner is a douuuuche, and earnosethroat just embarrassed him
October 7th, 2009 at 4:01 am
Yes Afrikaner let’s bash America. What are you, South African? We all know what a beautiful, wonderful, safe, educated country South Africa is.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:49 am
this is good
October 7th, 2009 at 3:43 am
I agree with mike Zak, I would pay some money for a sealed version of win95, that shit has collector’s value.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:40 am
OTP: Trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls.
I think the people (trolls) who don’t get the joke are pretending to not get the joke as to bait and troll people who got the joke into trolling them.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:38 am
HAHAHAHAHA… This is freaking Hilarious…
Dude.. You got pranked.. Haha.. And I feel so sorry for the dude quoted below.. HAHAHA… Wow some people are bored with their lives.. Hahaha…
# The Fongz Says:
October 7th, 2009 at 1:31 am
Some ebay fuck just ripped me off over $500 (AUS) for a 60G PS3 that he never sent. I’ll be rocking the clown costume tonight.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:38 am
SERIOUSLY? Did you people not get that this whole fiasco was a joke? Jesus H. Christ, he doesn’t need to e-mail ebay, he doesn’t need to get his money back (he won’t), and he knows that Windows 95 =/= Windows 7. FFS.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:35 am
hahaha…dumb fuck!!!
October 7th, 2009 at 3:32 am
Epic win.
I can’t decide if the people flaming you in comments are really that stupid or just the least funny troll comments ever.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:29 am
@Mike Zak - My bet would be google images: http://www.oldsoftware.com/softimg6/95floppy.jpg
October 7th, 2009 at 3:23 am
Afrikaner Says:
October 7th, 2009 at 1:02 am
LOL! do not discriminate, he can’t help the fact that he is american, they all have a genetic disadvantage of being completely fucking ill-informed dumbasses, can’t even point out their own state on a map, much less other countries!
====================================
Good one Afrikaner - I often like to sit in front of my PC sneering at Americans whilst reading things on websites written by Americans. PS. Your accent is literally the most offensive sound on earth.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:21 am
LeVey graduated this year with a Degree in Smugness and a bachelor’s in Missing The Fucking Point.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:12 am
dud im pritty sure thats not windows 7, i thiunk its windows 95…… maybe emaile ebay and ask them if they know whats goin on or somthin?
October 7th, 2009 at 3:10 am
My question is, where the hell did he get a motherfucking sealed copy of WIN95?
October 7th, 2009 at 3:09 am
ITT: People think others actually believe that 95 is Windows 7
October 7th, 2009 at 3:09 am
America, home of some of the smartest people on earth… and most of the dumb retarded one´s to.
How anyone could fail to see that this was a joke, must be incredibly stupid.
So nice one Chris Bucholz you apperently “got” a few with this one hahaha
Greetings from Sweden.
October 7th, 2009 at 3:03 am
Hilarious!!!!!!!!
October 7th, 2009 at 3:01 am
Hello,
wow you spent $150 (*cough*free on pirate bay *cough*) and $80 (who the hell uses floppy’s? what were they thinking?) to see if microshaft could get something right yet. 15 years and they are still trying to build a product and fleecing people every misguided step of the way.
When I say this you are gonna think birkenstalks but for god’s sake man use Ubuntu. They have really done a great job on their os with regular updates and improvements. I think right now of the 3 obvious choices in operating systems it comes out ahead of the other two (mac is awesome but they are elitist and in the same proprietory boat as microshaft.).
I tried the rc of windows 7 and while I had no issues using it when I heard the asking price I returned to Ubuntu and am very happy.
Here is a thought for microshaft. Since you have tooled people around for so many years with half-ass products that are disasterous they should actually offer windows 7 to the world as free ware. Not open source, just free ware. I think they owe those er, simple minds who stick by them.
Thanks for reading, be well.
LeVey
October 7th, 2009 at 2:56 am
i installed windows 95 from floppy disks. it was 20 or 30+ floppies. what a chore…
October 7th, 2009 at 2:54 am
Dear Mom, tell my father im bi-curious
October 7th, 2009 at 2:50 am
I think by any sane version numbering system, Windows 95 would be far superior to anything Windows 7 could possibly yield.
Therefore, the reason nothing worked with his machine was because he got a glimpse of what is to come 88 versions from now.
Expect Windows 7 to be somewhere between Windows 3.1 and Windows 95, but much closer to the Windows 3.1 side of the scale…
October 7th, 2009 at 2:49 am
if you want your fax to work, then you need to plug in a phone line, simply being connected to internet (either wireless or wired)….. this article’s title scared the crap out of me… haha win95… those were the days…. my copy came with ie1… lol
October 7th, 2009 at 2:46 am
I would like to see the rest of the Dear Mom letter, u told them not to look in yer sock drawer, i laughed cos i have secrets there too.. hahahah, is your masterbation sock there?
October 7th, 2009 at 2:46 am
Everybody tells me to try windows 7. I Might give a shot. I looks like it works better than vista which totaly broke down after two weeks of use :’)
October 7th, 2009 at 2:37 am
WOW win 95!
that is 89 versions a head of Vista- Thus it must be freaking awsome
–
# Richard Says:
October 6th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
THATS NOT EVEN WINDOWS 7 ROFLMFAO, its WINDOWS 95!!! HAHAHA YOU ARE STUPID LMAO
October 7th, 2009 at 2:21 am
The funny thing is that my work PC has a floppy drive! WTF!
October 7th, 2009 at 2:18 am
[...] A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay Cracke [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 2:16 am
So much win
October 7th, 2009 at 2:16 am
The first image has what is, without a doubt, the
Funniest. Caption. Ever.
October 7th, 2009 at 2:12 am
Genius.
Must find my Win95 cd… should be fun debugging IE2
October 7th, 2009 at 2:07 am
LOLOLOL i love my mac.
October 7th, 2009 at 2:07 am
After installing my copy of Win7 I cannot get Microsoft Fax to work. I tried clicking the icon, but I do not really know what to enter in all the fields. I tried entering my phone number, but it does not work… Please help, I really need to do some urgent fax-related stuff.
October 7th, 2009 at 2:00 am
That made my day.
October 7th, 2009 at 1:57 am
pissed my pants laughing. great article. my God its been a while since i last remember seeing let alone even using a floppy disk/drive
October 7th, 2009 at 1:51 am
Still beats vista. and also it comes with hoover!
October 7th, 2009 at 1:51 am
This is hilarious. Awesome review!
October 7th, 2009 at 1:44 am
OMG, I needed this info! Thank you!! Seriously, I just spent half the day at work backing up highly specialized software from a Windows 95 laptop before upgrading it to Win 98. Now that I’ve read your review, I’ll just upgrade it to Windows 7 instead. It will be so cool to have the most updated computer in the office for once!
October 7th, 2009 at 1:39 am
You are seriously retarded. You deserved to get scammed on eBay.
October 7th, 2009 at 1:31 am
Some ebay fuck just ripped me off over $500 (AUS) for a 60G PS3 that he never sent. I’ll be rocking the clown costume tonight.
October 7th, 2009 at 1:10 am
nice dude!!
October 7th, 2009 at 1:06 am
that was awesone. in case anyone took that too seriously, i remember seeing my teacher in jr. high installing windows 95, and it came with a big pile of disks, far more than 4. Hilarious article.
October 7th, 2009 at 1:05 am
ha ha ha… very funny article ….
October 7th, 2009 at 1:02 am
LOL! do not discriminate, he can’t help the fact that he is american, they all have a genetic disadvantage of being completely fucking ill-informed dumbasses, can’t even point out their own state on a map, much less other countries!
# LOL HOLY CRAP Says:
October 7th, 2009 at 12:06 am
WOW this guy is a tool. (YES YOU, THE GUY WHO’S POST IS QUOTED BELOW, NOT THE WRITER, YOU MORON).
—————
# Richard Says:
October 6th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
THATS NOT EVEN WINDOWS 7 ROFLMFAO, its WINDOWS 95!!! HAHAHA YOU ARE STUPID LMAO
October 7th, 2009 at 1:02 am
so ok, this particular version of windows actually comes on 14 floppies, not 4, but did I deserve this for relieving you of ten crappy microsoft floppies? And yet, here I am, bleeding to death, and you, hopefully, bleeding after your botched plastic surgery
October 7th, 2009 at 12:59 am
LOL google next torrent
Windows_7_Ultimate_AIO_Activated
and send us a new review.
FFFFFFFFFFFFF
October 7th, 2009 at 12:57 am
[...] [...]
October 7th, 2009 at 12:45 am
Those screenshots were hilarious! Dear mom, lol
October 7th, 2009 at 12:41 am
Seems like a legit review of [any] Windows product. I’m still trying to get my Fax to work with Geo.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:38 am
By far the funniest part of the page are the comments - people really got very angry about this - people are so incredibly stupid that microsoft shouldn’t worry about success with Windows 75 when that comes out next year. It should be a good release, they held it back for 30 years so that they could iron the bugs out.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:35 am
Beautiful - not sure if you got the screenshots mixed up, but it coincides exactly with my experience with Windows 7
Now I switched to Ubuntu, nice.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:27 am
Well done, very well done.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:25 am
Absolutely lollerific.
You’re my new hero.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:17 am
OMFG richard.. You’re completely right. Thanks for the sharpness
October 7th, 2009 at 12:14 am
haha hilarrrious bro, i loved it.
eff those ebay fags, they’ll all end up in hell anyways, or on judge judy.
October 7th, 2009 at 12:11 am
I spent your money on beer
October 7th, 2009 at 12:06 am
WOW this guy is a tool. (YES YOU, THE GUY WHO’S POST IS QUOTED BELOW, NOT THE WRITER, YOU MORON).
—————
# Richard Says:
October 6th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
THATS NOT EVEN WINDOWS 7 ROFLMFAO, its WINDOWS 95!!! HAHAHA YOU ARE STUPID LMAO
October 7th, 2009 at 12:02 am
Plowed through
totally awesome motto. Wouldn’t work too well with college class though
2 stars
XD
October 6th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
Maaaaan that was funny, but some of the comments are even funnier! Do you REALLY think this happened @Ole, @dustyjh et al? Brilliantly written article, but its SATIRE and its a JOKE, ie it didnt really happen! Woah! No way! Revelation! You know Jurassic Park didnt really exist either! Seriously!
Keep up the good work Chris!
October 6th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
lol, you got scammed
October 6th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Get your revenge by selling the guy a live cougar.
October 6th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
Let’s remember that once upon a time, space was important and they tried to give an operating system in 4 * 1.44MB = 5.76MB … Now Microsoft has a few DVDs and once in a while, another few hundred MBs worth of web updates…
October 6th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
A FUCKING PLUS! Hilarious!
October 6th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
We are very sorry about your difficulties in installation and software stability.
We here at Microsoft Tech Support Branch Brahmaputra value your business.
If you will please stay on the line, your call will be answered in the order it was received.
October 6th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
wow richard i think that was the point
October 6th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
THATS NOT EVEN WINDOWS 7 ROFLMFAO, its WINDOWS 95!!! HAHAHA YOU ARE STUPID LMAO
October 6th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Best Review I’ve ever read.
October 6th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
What a great article!!!
October 6th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
LOL =)!
This was really funny. I laughed my ass of.
October 6th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
I loved all the little windows open, like a note explaining to your Mum exactly why you killed Jon Norton, apparently in a clown costume in Ohio with either a knife, or a floppy disk bomb
October 6th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
u are a real a$$hole
October 6th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
your review is retarded. who uses floppies nemore?
October 6th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
ahhh, that was refreshingly Origonal and funny
October 6th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
thanks GUY need some to smile abwt
October 6th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Well even if u got scamed, you managed to turn it into something positive!
Loved the article!!!
October 6th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Hahahahaha. YOU MISSED, YOU LOSER. HAVE YOU EVER EVEN FIRESD A WEAPON B4 IN UR LIFE!? I HOPE YOU GET THE SHT STAINS OUT OF YOUR CLOWN COSTUEM.
October 6th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
CHRIS BENNET YOU SUCK! *sigh* Never gonna give you up…
You’re lucky I actually like this song.
October 6th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Pretty funny article 5 stars ***** xD
October 6th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Patrick Carter, how ignorant are you that you advise people upgrade to it from Vista when you’ve never tried Vista? Your logic is atrocious.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Well, I certainly have not ran Windows 95 in a while, so I will take your word that it is better then vista. As well I havent ran vista ever because of the terrible reviews i’ve heard. The ACTUAL Windows 7 is amazing, no errors and now BSD’s. I recommend to anybody to get it when it comes out, specialy if you are running vista, and most importantly windows 95.
My school gives out a whole bunch of free versions to us, as if you were going to pay over 100 bucks for it!
October 6th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Oh my!
This was some funny shit. LOL!
October 6th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Oh man this was funny XD I like all his little windows at the bottom, “How to find people” and “Knife sharpening” “clown costume” Hilarious!!!
And to the people who think he was writing a serious review, how about actually reading the article and captions instead of skimming through them like a stupid pooop face
October 6th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
LMAO.. like the fun.. hehe
October 6th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
LMAO… loved the article… fun and fun..
October 6th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Wow, this is so deja vu! ^_^
October 6th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
I thought maybe you were still angry at UR_a_Ediot67, but it looks like you already washed him out of your clown costume, so to speak.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Nice post. I wonder if you will refresh it when windows 9.5 hits?
October 6th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
everybody shut the fuck up
October 6th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
ROFL! Glad Windows has long name file support now! Even when I go to \windows\system32 in Vista or XP the filenames are all 8 + 3. But because I am l33t hax0r I was able to crack the limitation. I just select to rename the file and hit ALT+F4. Unless of course you have a virus, in which case the window will crash (disappear).
October 6th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
omg!!! thats hilarious!! I would love to punch that guy in the face loL! Sorry for your luck!
October 6th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Dude, I have a hand-me-down laptop in my closet right now that would be perfect for it however, I don’t think I turned it on in the last five years.
But I been on window 7 professional on my other computers of a month now. I got it from school, first time getting a perk for being a technology student.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
bahahahaha Loved this article, Good Review
October 6th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
[...] A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
I’m sorry, are you retarded? Any software product can be downloaded FOR FUCKING FREE as a torrent. I wouldn’t pay a dime for photoshop ‘cuse I can get it free from thousands of people who are willing to seed it to me.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
[...] A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
[...] A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
This is a brilliant piece of tech-fiction. Some memories of Win95 you brought up here will give me horrible flashback nightmares for a week or two.
It also highlights how Apple resembles Win95 more than anything else, forever stuck in that unyielding cast of limited choices.
Whatever its foibles, Windows rocks!
October 6th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Great post! it give me a good idea about Windows.. But I think this may be windiows 8 or 9 for their lab. Not 7..
Nice comedy.. under pressure…
October 6th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Great article…. ha ha ha
For more such thing I recommend: http://goodmorningjokes.blogspot.com/
October 6th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
haha, great laugh.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Dude… I so miss playing minesweeper! Sadly I’m on a Mac now, and I has no games.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Absolutely loved this article.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
I love you. Your article made my day. Heck. My week!
October 6th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA, are u people serious ?? “it’s not a cpy of windows 7, it’s windows 95″ It’s a joke people, and a DAMN GOOD one at that. And u call him stupid ?? hahahahaha
October 6th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
HAHAHA awesome article.
Really excited about all these new features, that “fax” sounds amazing!
October 6th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Did people actually read this article, or just stupid?? Its obvious some jackass ripped you off and the review is just a bunch of bs.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
As I said always you shall not pirate or buy a Mac
October 6th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
I wonder if this will cause a world-shortage of floppy-disc drives … think I’ve still got one somewhere. Really enjoyed the letter to mum, “tell Dad I never was gay, and don’t look in my sock drawer …”
Excellent review!
5 stars.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Well as long as performacne has improved…
October 6th, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Hahaha good read!
October 6th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Wow! Looks like this will be as good (or better) than Windows ME. I can’t wait to test out my nuker.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
oh and by “random” I meant “retarded” and by “people” i meant Steven Hill… just to clarify
October 6th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
steven hill makes rednecks seem like the smartest people in the world. consider this batman, the first sign that this was a joke was with the first thumbnail pic, with the caption ‘’son. of. a. bitch”. then he proceeded to install ”windows 7”, in which he sarcastically insults the very core of windows 95…hmmm, there are a lot of idiots on the internet. Stop watching Family guy and read a book, then watch family guy…then drink, then smoke, then puke…………………………………..i give up, you win steven.!
October 6th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Uh that wasnt windows 7 it was windows 95 …. why is he calling this windows 7 ??????
October 6th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
I have a theory as to why there’s so many retarded comments in regards this review not being about windows 7 (which it clearly is). Random people googled “pirated copy of windows 7″ in hopes of somehow attaining a copy for themselves over ebay by doing so. They instead then stumbled on this website reviewing the product that they were JUST about to purchase. Somehow they then mistook “America’s only humor and video site, since 1958″ for a reputable site that reviews for pirated software bought ebay.
I myself very much enjoyed the review and will be getting my pirated copy of windows 7 off ebay as soon as i possibly can.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
I expect to see excerpts from this review on Appleinsider, Mac Rumors, TUAW, and of course PC World.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Great article, loved the humor, really hope that Ebay bit was just part of the joke.
Favorite line: “Although performance has improved since Vista… “
October 6th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Haahahahaha Steve Ballmer just threw up laughing as did I.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Buchholz, Thanks. Ltmbfo. So much win.
/Amen Ted
October 6th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
I found this review to be very helpful. I was impressed that it only requires 4 floppies.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
got to be the funniest article ive read in awhile. had me laughing the whole time.
5 stars
October 6th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Lol thanks for the read man that was just hilarious! Haha sucks about your windows 7 but hell atleast you got a good article out of it. Lucky me for being in IT program, running windows 7 pro right now.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
OH MAH CEILIN CAT WHIAT TEH F&^%??!11!!!!?!!1!1111? DIS AR TEH SO NOIT WINDOWS 7. U NEID 2 SWEITCH OVAR 2 MAC BIECAUSE YUUR BALLS HAS SHRIUNK ALONG WIF UR EYEZ GIT GLAASES RETARDD!111! OMGWTF!!?!!?!!!!11?!//
October 6th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
I first read this on my mobile while terribly bored at work. I reread it at home on my desktop, and was finally able to read the subplot show in the pictures, and had a good laugh. Great review.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
LOL Chris Bucholz, that’s not Windows 7 dumbass. You need to get your facts right, and serves you right for getting ripped off. People like you should just stay off the internet. In fact, stay away from computers in general. In fact, just kill yourself now and save us the facepalming for your future reviews. Epic fail bro.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
lol, had to make room for the popular Microsoft Fax
October 6th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
[...] http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder/ a few seconds ago from twirssi [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
PYoo! Pyoo! Pyoo!
October 6th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
I think Cracked.com needs a big freaking pop-up or something to let retarded morons know that this is primarily a joke/humor site…
As I can see from the comments, a lot of people just don’t get it lol.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
@Crystal:
You don’t need to be so mean, Crystal. Calling this article a joke might prevent the author from trying to write reviews in the future. You really should try to be more supportive of people. Although maybe the author should switch to a Mac next time.
If you’re looking for a really good review of Windows 7, check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2b1D5w82yU
October 6th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
LOL! no comments.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
What a nublet. My best time at minesweeper intermediate is 40 seconds, and I don’t even have this advanced piece of technology. Otherwise, I guess it was okay.
****
October 6th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
So, I was definitely laughing out loud, but I couldn’t help thinking about the $150 you spent on it the whole time.
I hope you were able to do something about it.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Thanks for the laugh, that was priceless.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I just installed win98 on a 800mhz with 256ram. Fastest PC i have ever used.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Woo! Thanks for the preview, man. Pumped for the new OS! It’s really awesome that it came with IE 20. I thought they were still at IE 7 or 8 or something!
October 6th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
OMG people its a fucking joke.. You people have no sense of humor what so ever.. I found this article hilarious.. WTG.. Chris… Im still laughing!!! LMAO
October 6th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Amen, BROTHER-
What do you mean this isn’t Windows 7??? WHAT?? He obviously reviewed it that way, so it’s gotta be! It even says that in the title! YOU’RE THE DUMBASS, DUMBASS!
October 6th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Hilarious. Reading the titles on your minimized browser windows was the funniest part. I hope you got the guy.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
lol, Thanks for this awesome bit of comic relief Chris.. I needed a good laugh
October 6th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
[...] A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com The official release of Windows 7 is only a few weeks away, and if you’re anything like me, you’re probably asking yourself what effect this will have on your lives. Will the gates of Heaven open up and a consort of large breasted angels descend to guide you into computing heaven? Or will it be more of a low key affair, maybe involving the cast of Friends and a degrading video? [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
@ Amen, brothah
Fail. Try harder next time chap.
@ Ted
I see what you did there.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
ba ja ja ja ja, I loved it, Im gonna order it too!!!!
October 6th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Hi Chris,
I’m sorry to have to point this out to you, but you reviewed Windows 95, not Windows 7. It should have been obvious by the label, but I guess maybe you are new to computers.
You can find a good review of Windows 7 on youtube… here is the link to one of the better reviews:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2b1D5w82yU
Good luck with your future reviews! Maybe you should try a Mac next time.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
From a guy who is still using Windows 98…….this was a very funny article.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Wait; why wouldn’t eBay protect you?! You didn’t receive the item you were promised… =|
October 6th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
@ Steven Hill
I’m with you! What kind of DUMBASS confuses Windows 95 for Windows 7? Except for maybe “Windows Sux” down there. You and the author of this articel are so STUPID!
October 6th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Since when do Amish use briefcases!?
October 6th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
I think this is thread has what the kids are calling ‘trolls’
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_%28Internet%29
October 6th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Thanks for making me laugh so hard.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
@steven hill
you are stupid
October 6th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Um Steven hill you are a nooooob please turn off your computer and stop fucking up humanity with your lameness. This was a joke and you obviously haven’t the capacity to open a can of ravioli let alone understand humour. Please stop ruining life for the rest of us and go play an mmorpg <— online game and bitch to them how you don’t know how to level so they can berate you and remind you how dumb you are every second of every day!!
October 6th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Steven, calm down.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Steven Hill is either slower than Windows 95 or incredibly subtle in his sarcasm. I’m glad I’m not his wife… or more than likely, ex-wife.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
@ steven hill:
ha…ha?
October 6th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Steven Hill: You, sir, are a dumb ass.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
that was awesone. in case anyone took that too seriously, i remember seeing my teacher in jr. high installing windows 95, and it came with a big pile of disks, far more than 4. Hilarious article.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
What the fuck? That’s not windows 7 you dumbass! It’s 95. People like you are the ones who make me lose faith in humanity, what is this world coming to? And to everyone else who actually believes this review that it’s windows 7 - it isn’t. Windows 7 is much like vista and looks nothing like windows 95 which has been reviewed incorrectly by an obvious dumbass.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
I think I should stop reading your articles while using the library computers. I may get banned from this place, I was laughing so hard.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
I knew it! W7 fails! Although I’m very impressed it can handle TWO internet explorer windows, word, AND Minesweeper..Thats.. wow
Bravo,
Windows > Mac
October 6th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Good thing I was at home reading this. I wouldn’t want to be howling with laughter at work.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
cheap tight wad, don’t miss the next Salvation Army sale!
October 6th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Dang. I swear Windows is just going down the tubes. I mean, look at the icons on the “new” Windows 7!! Totally trashy. And Windows Explorer should have at least a search bar! This looks WORSE than Vista!
Also, computers rarely have floppy disks anymore. Why would they bring them back? And a PHONE LINE??!!?? What was Windows THINKING?? I mean, It’s cool that it has a program that lets you check local weather without going on yahoo, but it needs such primitiveness! I think I’ll stick to my Windows XM, thanks.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Wow. My brain actually hurts from reading all the comments like “uhhh dude that’s totally Windows 95, u’r a idiot”.
I’m thoroughly of the opinion that some people are simply born without a sense of humor.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Una Review de una copia pirata de Windows 7 comprada en Ebay (Humor)…
Comprar Windows 7-pirata en Ebay: 150$ Abrir la caja y descubrir 4 disquetes con Windows 95:No tiene precio. Tomártelo con humor y hacer una review de 7 usando los disquetes de W95: Frases míticas. "Decidí instalarle todas las opciones,incluido…
October 6th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
Hey, he might just be able to run Star Craft on that bad boy. That would be so cool.
I was able to get Windows 7 for free from my school and it is much better than Vista, MS did a good job with it. And yes, it runs Star Craft.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
im gonna nominate u for Canadian of the Year
October 6th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
best cracked article i read in a while, nice job. and it was really funny with the email you were gunna send the guy and the note to your mom and the search engine searches. that was pretty funny.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Wow, considering you would just download a bit torrent, and then go to Isohunt.com and illegally download Windows 7.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
I think you’re mistaken. Windows 7 comes on 10 floppies. One of those floppies will always be unreadable though. But if you can get it installed, it just flies on a computer with 16MB of RAM. It’s a lot prettier than Vista too.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Epic win!
October 6th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Literally laughed out loud when I read , “Although performance has improved since Vista…”
Great article. Will be buying Windows 7 for sure =p
October 6th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
@00110001
Dude I hope for your sake you’re joking
October 6th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
[...] http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder/ a few seconds ago from Adium [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Apparently, some people who work for Microsoft read Cracked, since they’re pitching the shit out of 7 in the comments section. Nice article, but a little too subtle for the knuckle-draggers, I think.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
I’m still running windows 3.1. I don’t like booting into DOS to play Commander Keen. Have they changed that feature yet?
October 6th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
He’s running windows 3.22.
3+2+2=7
October 6th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Rofl @ the minimized sites hes visiting
October 6th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Ooo two stars. Sounds heaps better than Vista!
October 6th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Nice article. I haven’t laughed this hard in ages.
Btw Win 7 is a pretty sweet OS, superior to vista.
October 6th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Not much you can do against sellers like that. All they need is proof of shipment and a good rating. Every 100th order can be royally f****d up and the rest of their buyers wouldn’t notice. Hmm. Thanks for the cool review, though
October 6th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
seriously though swaim DOB some one look into this pumpkin pie blizzard thing here i think they might of had to make jesus fight a raptor or something to come out with it
October 6th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7…
The official release of Windows 7 is only a few weeks away, and if you’re anything like me, you’re probably asking yourself what effect this will have on your lives. Will the gates of Heaven open up and a consort of large breasted angels descend to…
October 6th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
thats too funny!!!!
October 6th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
That wallpaper is fucking sweet. Did that come with it or did you get that somewhere else?
October 6th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
from looking at the comments, it appears that cracked readers have reached an undiscovered new level of stupidity.
great article by the way, i love the seriousness.
October 6th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Ah, the memories.
Although, my work computer still uses Windows 98. It would still work pretty well if it wasn’t installed on a computer optimized for Windows 95.
October 6th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Hey! Will it run windows 1.0 in its VM?….or was that the fax thing all about?………..Ha HA ha,NIce article!
October 6th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
[...] http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder/ a few seconds ago from web [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
I can’t believe that I believed for a sec. …Gosh!
But great article… Iwouldn’t be able to install on my notebook… no disk drive
October 6th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
lol @Patrick … for being a dumbass.
October 6th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
k so i think some one at cracked should lookin into this whole pumpkin pie blizzard from dairy queen thing its a little to much like pumpkin pie if u get my drift
October 6th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Dude the same exact thing happened to me when I supposedly bought an early version of the ZuneHD! UGHHHHH
Video of me opening my package…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YevIMPul3U
October 6th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
[...] found this Windows 7 Review very helpful. A Review of the Pirated Copy of Windows 7 I Bought On eBay | Cracked.com And pretty fucking funny too. [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
i was wondering if there were any bonus easter eggs included with the os. like a music video hidden inside the windows folder?
October 6th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
# phill Says:
October 6th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Your screenshots are from windows 98…
The fact that you have actually noted what ‘95 and ‘98 look like anymore, excluding the fact that you’ve taken the time to actually point this out and hope someone cares, makes me wonder just how small your penis really is.
October 6th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Those darn propeller-heads *shakes fist and head comically* -audience laugh track-
October 6th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
phill Says:
October 6th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
“Your screenshots are from windows 98…”
I…but don’t you…it…you…
*beats head against wall furiously*
October 6th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
This was the funniest thing I have read all year..
October 6th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Your screenshots are from windows 98…
October 6th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
I’d love to see that letter you sent to your mom… XD
October 6th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Bitch. You pay for pirated software, you get genuine disks!
Also, guys, stop feeding the trolls.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Any site with Seanbaby content looks better when viewed with browser compatible with Win 95. Just sayin’. Same is true for Bad Candy.
By the way, I have working copies of Windows 30 and 31 if anyone wants to buy them. They are more than 4 times better than Windows 7.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Hey. I like 95. It lets me play my DOS games.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
[...] http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder/ a few seconds ago from web [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
@da1337M3157aR: NO SHIT. THAT WAS THE ENTIRE POINT.
Nice article Bucholz.
Also, the real Win7 kicks major ass. Just sayin’.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Chaxc-
So excited you said that… I’m currently taking classes at Kaplan college to get my A+ certification. This article will help me deal with all the BS we have to go through (knowing compatibility issues with older OSs, etc).
Bucholz-
You da man.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Fucking trolls.
Great article.
’nuff said.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
wait, what happened to microsoft fax? i wanted to hear about that…
October 6th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It’s a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It’s a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
October 6th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Why am I not surprised Eve uses a mac?
October 6th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
i swear.. u killed me. FANTASTIC. i laughed my ass off for 15 minutes straight halfway through the article. the scam u painted was soooo reallistic! i would’ve done the same time. fuck you UR_a_Ediot67. i can’t help it but to picture ur face when u opened the package. AMAZING!
October 6th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
“tell Dad I never was gay” - best Cracked line ever!
October 6th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
es mir gut gefaellt
October 6th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
I think Chris Bucholz needs an award. I hadn’t noticed in a while since I never go directly to a columnists page instead just looking at everything from the recent articles page, but I’m just now noticing that almost every article I’ve absolutely loved is by you. Sir, I wish you free blow jobs for the rest of your life, good day.
October 6th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
that is all.
October 6th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
I do think this man needs a free copy of Windows 7. ”Hey, Gates get this man a disc, FOO!”
October 6th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
My gosh 00110001 you are an angry little chap. This disconcerts me on the internet. You also have a very strange name, your parents must be very original thinkers.
October 6th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
dude, i think you got a copy of windows 95, not windows 7…
October 6th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Best post ever!
October 6th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
lol @00110001 for thinking it’s actually Windows 7.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
@Eve:
That was a HORRIBLE attempt at trolling.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Oh man, the pictures killed me.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
So THAT’s what My Briefcase was for! I never used it, being in the bloom of youthful childism at the time. Also, I suddenly really miss Windows 98. It was so uncluttered, and the colour scheme was not homosexual. It was easy and fun to use, but still had the air of something serious and difficult about it, so if you ever succeeded in using it, you felt like you had achieved something, despite the fact you almost always achieved what you were going for.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
I like how the explorer has direct icons for the different VIEW type settings.. none of noob shite having to one click icon, and then select some other view/zoom settings bullshit.
And how the main drive isn’t cluttered with this fuckup of system/user profile folders. Thanks to those Asshats at Microshite headquarters delivering on noobshit improvements. Explorer teams should be fired for incompetence and being noobs!
heck even the status bar is slim, and not some oversized useless noobshit.
“Error messages were cryptic and meaningless to me – see below.”
lol nothing changed on that then.
“branching menu. If you can’t figure that out”
I don’t think noobs can understand a branching menu. I guess that is why those retards at MS took it out instead of leaving it in as an option. Rather have some shitty little frame showing installed items, and play click, open, scroll, close, click… fucking retards.
Or you use the shitty desktop failsearch.
“It can render text and images however, which if you think about it, is probably the most important 40 percent of the Internet anyways. ”
MS always seeks to deliver the best experience…. to fucking noobs that don’t know anybetter that is! IE8 what a pile of shite….in gui, performance, privacy, extensions, engine,… everything really.
“Curiously, the useful Quick Launch bar seems to have disappeared. ”
lol so true, did they improve it? fuck that, just bury it
btw I like how you can actually fucking see and read the different taskbar items, as opposed to seeing some fucking noobshit overized icon 
wow thats so windows 3.x..
DX11 the new DX10
Microsoft progress eh?.. WHAT FUCKING PROGRESS!
Winshite 7, for retards who don’t know any better.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Plz. sir, may we have some more ?
^ ^
^
(—–)
October 6th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
pretty good
October 6th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
http://www.Adult-Facebook.com
October 6th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
HAW! I’m looking forward to Windows 7, I looove retro!
Thanks Bucholtz, you’ve assured me that my anticipation is well warranted.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
I smells a troll…
October 6th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
That was amazing. Made me forget about my crappy day and laugh.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Awwww Eve…
Isn’t he cute when he’s angry? Someone get him a juicebox
October 6th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Holy shit I think we discovered the most retarded person in the world! I hope to God Eve was joking.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
“Eve Says:
October 6th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
oh my fucking god this is so fucking stupid thats not fucking windows 7!!!!!!!!!!! you clearly are idiots and this article and site sucks flaming donkeyass. you are clearly homosexual and should just get the fuck out if you dont know what ur talkin about u fuckin FAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Someone doesnt understand what satire is.
When you pull the cock out of your ass you can come back to cracked.com.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Dear God, Bucholz, you are so fucking funny. Every one of your articles over the past few months have been hilarious.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Awesome article =o]
I hope the people raging here is joking , because this is hella funny
October 6th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Amusing are the articles and amusing are the comments. I will comment on the article first, as I found it delightful in its serious tone quartered with the completely homocidial pictures. Clever, Mr. Bucholz.
As to the commenters… How could a article of this ilk betray someone’s sexual preferences? Was there a hidden dong on some special icon? Hurm…
October 6th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Pretty sure anyone who responded seriously to anything be it the article or user comments should consider leaving the internet.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Eve…
Were… were you dropped on your head as a child? This is OBVIOUSLY Windows 7 - the article made sure to say that, like, 10 times. I think you need to go back to computer school or something, because anyone with half-a-brain knows that this is the new Windows 7.
It’s not like this is a comedy website or anything.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
The minsweeper shot is photoshopped, wrong icon in the title bar and the windows 2000 > colour scheme instead of the 95 grey.
And thats coming from a Mac user
October 6th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Wow. I’m guessing we have some people where English is not their first language. This is a satire column on a humor site. If you don’t get it, please don’t post your ignorance.
Two thumbs up on this piece.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Hey! WTF! What’s with this Windows!?
October 6th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
All the same, I’m pretty sure your Windows 7 is better than my crappy Windows Vista……
October 6th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Forget the nerdy douchebaggery people, this is great GREAT satire!
October 6th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
I wonder if anyone ever actually used MS Faques.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
by the way i use a mac
October 6th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
oh my fucking god this is so fucking stupid thats not fucking windows 7!!!!!!!!!!! you clearly are idiots and this article and site sucks flaming donkeyass. you are clearly homosexual and should just get the fuck out if you dont know what ur talkin about u fuckin FAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 6th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Also, to “Mike”: Don’t be an idiot! This is a humour website. You can see obviously isn’t Windows 7 (unless you’re retarded), plus there’s a picture with the words “Windows 1995″.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Mike… wow: “This article is silly and shouldn’t exist…”
What the hell? It’s a comedy site, so I would certainly hope it’s “silly” at the very least, and it’s here for entertainment, so why should it “not exist?” That doesn’t even make sense.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
LOL. Priceless.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Hahahahaha!!
Amazing article!
Is it real though?
October 6th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Wow, well at least it still looks more useful than linux.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
[...] Cracked.com. Author: nadnerb Categories: Computers Tags: Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Leave a [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
this article is silly and shouldnt exist…
im a mac and i have a copy of the release version of Windows 7 Ultimate… its GREAT. completely redeems the whole windows vista crap-fest that completely turned me from loving windows (literally growing up with it, since 3.1) to HATING windows…
Windows 7 Ultimate runs smoothly and powerfully enough to have completely re-won me over…
i got the copy to see if it would be worth dual-booting on my iMac and it is…
Welcome back, Microsoft!
October 6th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I didn’t even the notice the taskbar. So glad I double read the article. Fucking hilarious
October 6th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Probably one of the funniest things I’ve had the opportunity to read in years. Thank you for this ha
October 6th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
THIS is the release I’ve been waiting for.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Try with some older pc. maybe it will find drivers for all the hardware in your pc.
October 6th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Dear Mike,
Just Kidding. I totally love you.
Your Friend,
Canada
October 6th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
funniest article on cracked in months, the explorer icons on the taskbar were an amazing touch
October 6th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
excuse my ignorance or lack of comedic depth here, but isn’t the whole point of the article the fact that he basically installed windows 95 and pretended to write a review of windows 7? check out the first picture.
October 6th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Frikkin’ hilarious!
October 6th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Given the performance improvements discussed in this article, I think I will probably be buying Windows 7.
Although stability might be an issue, the performance gains probably will be worth it.
October 6th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
omg omg omg
so touching, so hilarious.
October 6th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Yeah, this article is funny. But havn’t you heard about The Pirate Bay yet? LOL
October 6th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
holy crap dude, this article made me s#it myself.
too funny.
i love how through the screen shots you can see him planning to kill the guy in the background.
an insanely well written article.
October 6th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
“Don’t look in my sock drawr.”
I lost it there.
October 6th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
HAHAHAHA!! BEST article in a long time!!
I love the letter to mom!
October 6th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Hi-freaking-larious! I ROFL’d all over myself.
October 6th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Dear Mike,
You’re an asshole.
Love, Canada
October 6th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
sadly, all I could think about is how much I miss xp, I’d sooner pay the same price for xp than take a chance on 7…
October 6th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
ahhaha man did you just get jerked?
October 6th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I was a bit skeptical at first, but the pictures dispelled any of my doubts.
October 6th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
[...] http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder/ a few seconds ago from xmpp [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 11:59 am
That was hilarious. One of the best articles I’ve read on here in ages.
October 6th, 2009 at 11:57 am
[...] on Cracked.com, but goddamn, those motherfuckers are REALLY funny sometimes. For example: Take this post where Cracked.com writer Chris Bucholz attempts to buy a pirated copy of Windows 7 on eBay. Here [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Bastard must have stolen it from my trash! I knew I should have wiped the diskettes before tossing them last month! If he managed to find it in my garbage, he must be from Canada. Hope that helps your search!
October 6th, 2009 at 11:35 am
I am wondering if his real email is chrisbucholz@yahoo.com…
Who wants to try it out? I´m too lazy
October 6th, 2009 at 11:33 am
OH MY GOD!
I’m having flashbacks from the 90’s.
I will say that it looks and works better than Windows ME.
Hey Bucholz,
Were you able to get your A+ Certification for Windows 7 yet?
October 6th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Hilarious review, really awesome! Especially loved the changing titles in the taskbar.
Looks like I have to track down the guy I sold my 10 year old compaq too and see if I can get my W7 back!
October 6th, 2009 at 11:10 am
It just occurred to me that I’ve had Windows 7 installed on a dusty old laptop locked up in a storage unit for over a decade. Now I don’t have to buy it. Sweet!
October 6th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Back in the day, I was pretty happy with Windows 95, especially the Microsoft Publisher that came with my version. My only Windows upgrades have come from buying new computers.
And more people use fax these days than you’d think!
October 6th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Wow, this was very entertaining! Very nice use of comedy in the review of “Windows 7.” I will definitely be sharing this!
October 6th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Best.Windows Review.Ever
October 6th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Simply and amazing article, Ill pass it on to my fellow ITs at work.
Great Job Chris
October 6th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Funniest piece I’ve read in a long time, Chris!(if you’re still winding up your mortal coil!?) Fucking tears are streaming! (Rifle-ammo-clocktower-cyanide pill, in case the Sheriff has had enough of OHIO too! lol)
****************
Here, Possibly, lies
Chris Bucholz,
Web-Warrior,
Bearer of Truth,
Taker of Bastards Lives…
and a bit… woah,
concerning sexual preference…
Gone, but Charles will
NEVER be forgotten…
EXCELLENT!
October 6th, 2009 at 10:50 am
A+ Would read again.
October 6th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Ummm….. No it’s not you stupid troll. That’s Windows 7.
October 6th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Yeah, thx. for that obvious update you stupid, mother-fucking twat!
October 6th, 2009 at 10:44 am
“FUCK YOU” i said….
and it was like ‘pyoo pyoo pyoo!’
…bit me in the leg.”
fuckin’awesome.
October 6th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Get a sense of humor and read the article you jerk!
October 6th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Ummm…..that’s Windows 95!
October 6th, 2009 at 10:39 am
If MS is successful in their plans to produce Captain America:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1292175/
Actor YES! MS producing NO!
October 6th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Amazing article xD
and it makes it even better when people are still not able to catch on to the joke
October 6th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Is still… just a Nigger.
Big-mouthed, brake-dancing, car-stealing mouth.
Back to prison Uncle Tom!
October 6th, 2009 at 10:30 am
“Although performance has improved since Vista…”
Haha… I love this type of humor. Good article!
October 6th, 2009 at 10:27 am
That was just fucking brilliant, from th concept to the end result, fucking brilliant.
October 6th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Your copy must have been pretty shitty, cause my pirated copy is fucking amazing. i have all those features that you said you missed and it runs beautifully. Maybe if you stepped up your gangsta you could get a real copy of it before you wrote your review.
Nigga Jim
October 6th, 2009 at 10:25 am
HAHA good stuff… the underlying bits and pieces were the funniest: “If I find you I will cram your ass through your earhole” and the confession to mom was pretty sweet as well.
October 6th, 2009 at 10:24 am
October 6th, 2009 at 10:09 am
I guess we will be saying very soon “Windows 7 still sucks.”
…and I was hoping Microsoft would actually make changes that worked.
October 6th, 2009 at 10:08 am
A+, would read again.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Oh, the memories.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Soooooo funny! Will you be the father of my children?
October 6th, 2009 at 9:49 am
good stuff..but mechwarrior doesnt run on my windows 7
October 6th, 2009 at 9:47 am
haha lol! man! that’s sucks D:
October 6th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Ahh windows 95
October 6th, 2009 at 9:19 am
10/10
October 6th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Oh wow I forgot about My briefcase. Thanks for the laugh.
October 6th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Awesome:D Is it themeable?
October 6th, 2009 at 8:55 am
you could just download Windows 7 for free. it’s not that bad, surprisingly.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Memo to self… laughing hysterically at the checkout will make people look at you funny and get you to the front quicker.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Outstanding, I laughed my ass off over this one, till you mentioned ms fax, then I laughed harder, then cried, then went back for the rest.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:46 am
How good is DOS compatibility in Windows 7, anyway?
October 6th, 2009 at 8:44 am
Wow I never knew I could shoot coffee out of my left nostril across an entire staff meeting room full of people and burst into laughter as if everyone loved it. Good Read Chris made my day enjoyable and for the new girl sorry about your Dress…
October 6th, 2009 at 8:44 am
I have never laughed for that long before.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:37 am
Thanks for you review.
Did you install the 32 or 64bit version?
October 6th, 2009 at 8:36 am
You moron, your review is in google and people will believe your shit!
October 6th, 2009 at 8:33 am
oh god i just cried
October 6th, 2009 at 8:25 am
Nice idea, but …
no one BUYS pirated software.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:22 am
fail attempt to be funny:(
October 6th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Let’s run away together.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:17 am
Wow, the number of people who don’t realise this didn’t actually happen is both hilarious and depressing.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:12 am
Still beats XP
October 6th, 2009 at 8:08 am
“Tell dad I never was gay” rofl, hilarious. Got looked at funnily by so many people for laughing out loud
October 6th, 2009 at 7:46 am
It took me more than half of the article to get ‘it’ but it was very, very funny.
Top form, Cracked!
October 6th, 2009 at 7:29 am
Ahhh, a find blend of humour and soul-crushing nostalgia.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:18 am
That link to the “World’s first cyber-sitcom!” with Jennifer Aniston and that smug douchebag from Friends is painful, but not to be missed.
October 6th, 2009 at 7:02 am
Bucholz is quickly becoming my favorite author on this page. AMAZING.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:52 am
HAHAHHA!! Thats awesome!!!!!!!
October 6th, 2009 at 6:48 am
Dear redjimmy, thank you for failing to understand “comedy” and “the English language”. And I thought the funny ended at the end of the article.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:47 am
Fing Awesome.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:43 am
Does that douchebag’s email work? If so, I think we should all do our part and spam the bastard.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:42 am
HAHAHAHA so brilliant! I enjoyed reveling in the process of you plotting your revenge. Well done.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:32 am
Brilliant. Moar plz
October 6th, 2009 at 6:31 am
Did this really happen? If so I’d love to see the ebay auction.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:26 am
I can’t stop reading. I can’t stop marvelling at the awesome in the screencaps. This was AMAZING, Bucholz!
October 6th, 2009 at 6:25 am
Hilarious… simply hilarious.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:24 am
Dude. Dude? Dude. This was incredible. All the background jokes, all the stuff your ‘write’ about in your spare time, the whole premise of the entire article… Absolutely brilliant. Pure genius. Great job.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:24 am
Reading those taskbar tabs was definitely the highlight, with that letter to mom being the crown jewel.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:23 am
goodness, I haven’t laughed this hard since I was a little girl
October 6th, 2009 at 6:22 am
2 stars whoo! better than 0.2 stars. (looks at windows vista)
October 6th, 2009 at 6:13 am
wha??? think u got ripped off dude. u can see clerly it says windows95 whci is rlly old man.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:11 am
As soon as I saw this article, I forwarded it to my boss and got fired for what he called “goofing off” at work and I called “product research.” Bucholz, you will hear from my lawyer… as soon as she stops laughing and hanging up when I call.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:08 am
Bhanchod ekdam mast!
October 6th, 2009 at 6:06 am
A drive
C drive
D drive
lmao, the memories!
October 6th, 2009 at 6:05 am
LOL Loved this article.
October 6th, 2009 at 5:42 am
LMAO, briliant!!!!!!!
October 6th, 2009 at 5:41 am
thank you now i know what msn stands for
October 6th, 2009 at 5:36 am
I wonder if this will cause a run on floppy drives from Best Buy. I’d better run down there really quickly to get mine!
October 6th, 2009 at 5:23 am
Epic. Thanks for that awesome review. I give it 4.75 stars.
October 6th, 2009 at 5:15 am
HAHHAHAHAHAHAH excellent.
October 6th, 2009 at 5:07 am
Great article, but fix the first one! It keeps sending me to the homepage every time I click it! >:-(
October 6th, 2009 at 5:04 am
# Mike Says:
October 6th, 2009 at 3:50 am
goodness, I haven’t laughed this hard since I was a little girl
Uhm…
October 6th, 2009 at 5:02 am
That Windows 95 video with Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry had Seinfeld music for some reason.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:58 am
But wait, can it run Crysis?
October 6th, 2009 at 4:57 am
Fucking awesome
October 6th, 2009 at 4:54 am
im glad u got the fucker XD hahahaha good job on tracing him
October 6th, 2009 at 4:53 am
I’d love to read the rest of that letter to mom. Great stuff there!
October 6th, 2009 at 4:45 am
That was amazing! I sure miss the Windows 98SE, but it’s just impossible to use it now that I’m used to XP and Vista.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:43 am
Wow, that was a blast from the past…
Reminds me of when I was at Primary school. We had about 20 computers with 95 and about 4 with 98. The computers with 98 were treated like gold. No one under the age of 11 was allowed to anywhere near them, or even look at them… And this was in 2000!
October 6th, 2009 at 4:42 am
Still better than OSX
October 6th, 2009 at 4:42 am
i r disappointed
October 6th, 2009 at 4:31 am
Made my day, great article!
October 6th, 2009 at 4:31 am
Ohio Motels
Knife Sharpening
Clown Costume
October 6th, 2009 at 4:31 am
Although the actual Windows 7 kicks ass (and I’m sorry you couldn’t get your hands on it to review), your article reminds me of simpler times. Thanks for the nostalgia!
October 6th, 2009 at 4:26 am
WHUT??
My version of “Windows 7″ I got back in the days had _way_ more than 4 floppy discs…
I think you got ripped off TWICE in that same deal there, bud.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:17 am
everyone should bombard ur_an_ediot with hate mail
October 6th, 2009 at 4:12 am
HAHAHAHA Thats funny….. I think I will hold oot till SP1
Good’on ya mate!
October 6th, 2009 at 4:11 am
Fantastic. Loved the taskbar jokes.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:11 am
Wow no way dude that is WAY cool!
RT
http://www.complete-privacy.net.tc
October 6th, 2009 at 4:10 am
Funny.
October 6th, 2009 at 4:09 am
Better than Vista though…
October 6th, 2009 at 4:08 am
pratham!
October 6th, 2009 at 4:07 am
wow it looks better than i expected.
October 6th, 2009 at 3:50 am
goodness, I haven’t laughed this hard since I was a little girl