Unicorn College, Dog Ear Protectors and The Science of Jell-O Shots: The Daily Nooner!

Awesome Video Of The Day

Unicorn Cove School of Metaphysics

Yes… The Unicorn Cove School of Metaphysics. A magical wonderland where you can sit around someone’s one-bedroom apartment, practicing the lost arts of fake-swordplay, kickboxing and playing Magic the Gathering while surrounded by belly dancing goth chicks. It might not be an accredited, degree-granting university, but it’s got a YouTube commercial with a really epic theme song. What more do you want?

Located in Westbrook, Maine, the Unicorn Cove School seeks to “bring about positivity and light, and to educate in the matters of the metaphysical, the spiritual, the paranormal and the mystical.” To that end, they offer courses in Psychic Development, Beginning Mysticism, Energy Work and HULA DANCING. They also have a program called the Unicorn Rangers Psychic Police Department. You know - just in case you’re ready to leave the dull worlds of rational thought and normal human interaction completely behind.

And I thought I was hot shit with my fancy liberal arts degree. All this time I could’ve been a Psychic Unicorn Cop!

Failed Gadget Roundup

“Brilliant” Gadget #3: Animal Ear Protectors

Do you have a dog with long, floppy ears, and if so, do you give it food? And if you give it food, is it always getting its long, floppy ears covered in the food that you give it? Is this actually a serious problem that you have to deal with? If so, you should write to a letter to your local pet accessory manufacturer and let them know about US Patent #4233942.

Then again, if this is a legitimate concern for you, you might also ask yourself, “What’s wrong with my dog? Why can’t it clean the excess food off its ears?” Or maybe, alternatively, “Will my dog look any less dumb walking around with these stupid tubes around its ears than it would with crusted-up dog food all over itself?” Then maybe, finally, “Why do I even own a dog? I don’t have time to deal with this bullshit.”

Wild Card

The Internet Has Way Too Much Time On Its Hands

I was always of the opinion that the best tasting Jell-O shot was one that someone else was drinking. Then I found myself at a sports bar last weekend, slurping them down for $2 a pop and dancing like an idiot to “Gettin’ Jiggy With It.” Now I understand: Not all Jell-O shots are created equal! The ones we were buying (at one point for an entire table full of strangers) totally sucked!

Thank God for the internet, where people like the nice folks over at MyScienceProject.org dedicate their time and energy to figuring out what makes the definitively best-tasting Jell-O shot.

So what is it, you ask? Beer. A pint glass full of cold beer. Thanks, science!

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