Two Great Movies That Nobody Will Ever See: The Friday Nooner (EST)!
The Thing With Two Heads
If you've been paying attention to all of the exact same websites that I do, then you probably read about Hasbro signing on with Universal for a film deal.
Let me repeat that: Hasbro - maker of such board games as Battleship, Candy Land and Mouse Trap - has signed on for a film deal with Universal - maker of such films as Howard the Duck and Weird Science.
You're probably thinking, "Yawn! I don't work in Hollywood, Ross. What does this mean to me, the average moviegoer?"
Three words: Monopoly: The Movie.
That's a lot of pressure for the average director. How do you turn a board game into a movie, particularly one worthy of the Monopoly name? We're going to need someone with a proven track record, someone capable of rising to the challenge. Someone who has demonstrated the ability to take an established franchise and turn it into a sensational film. We're going to need a miracle worker here, and as far as I'm concerned, there's only one man who can make it happen.
We need Michael Bay.
Will Pewter Shoe pass go and collect $200? Will Top Hat "get out of jail free" in time, and if he does, will he do it in time to collect rent on Oriental Avenue from Iron and Wheelbarrow? Its one of the great American board games; theres no reason it cant be one of the great American movies, too. Only one man has the raw talent and integrity needed to bring a film of such great scope and magnitude to the silver screen, and his name is Michael Bay.
You're probably wondering what The Thing With Two Heads has to do with Michael Bay directing Monopoly: The Movie. Nothing really, but c'mon - the white bigot gets his head sewed onto the black soul brother! How could I pass that up?!
A Monopoly Movie script is actually quiet easy to come up with. I did it before finishing the article.
ReplyFirst, accept that it must be a comedy, in the vein of classic Mel Brooks. Four tycoons, each eccentric in a funny way, bet each other they can buy up more land in the city, New York for example, before one of the others. Follow this with inane schemes, general antics, and humorous attempts at outsmarting not just each other, but various city officials.
In the end, all of them lose everything and go to jail.
In the current economic state, you could likely pack theaters with people all too happy to shell out some cash to watch a bunch of a-hole billions get hauled of to prison for being a-holes.
Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with Hollywood these days. Some things really do just write themselves.
When ever you need a face-lift to your ad Freshen up your Headline also.
ReplyThis is quite a hot information. I'll share it on Delicious.
ReplyWWE Lita...
ReplyThanks for the nice read, keep up the interesting posts.....
"true" has a verbal-diarrea or some crap like that o_O but yet he is right u_u rich people must DIE!! kill them, curse them. =D love and peace by the way ^^
ReplyWhew, someone sure isn't going to enjoy the Monopoly movie!
Reply...I was talking about myself.
"True" can go eat a fat dick... or set you free or something.
Don’t believe one optimistic word from any public figure about the economy or humanity in general. They are all part of the problem. Its like a game of Monopoly. In America, the richest 1% now hold 1/2 OF ALL UNITED STATES WEALTH. Unlike ‘lesser’ estimates, this includes all stocks, bonds, cash, and material assets held by America’s richest 1%. Even that filthy pig Oprah acknowledged that it was at about 50% in 2006. Naturally, she put her own ‘humanitarian’ spin on it. Calling attention to her own ‘good will’. WHAT A DISGUSTING HYPOCRITE SLOB. THE RICHEST 1% HAVE LITERALLY MADE WORLD PROSPERITY ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. Don’t fall for all of their ‘humanitarian’ CRAP. ITS A SHAM. THESE PEOPLE ARE CAUSING THE SAME PROBLEMS THEY PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT. Ask any professor of economics. Money does not grow on trees. The government can’t just print up more on a whim. At any given time, there is a relative limit to the wealth within ANY economy of ANY size. So when too much wealth accumulates at the top, the middle class slip further into debt and the lower class further into poverty. A similar rule applies worldwide. The world’s richest 1% now own over 40% of ALL WORLD WEALTH. This is EVEN AFTER you account for all of this ‘good will’ ‘humanitarian’ BS from celebrities and executives. ITS A SHAM. As they get richer and richer, less wealth is left circulating beneath them. This is the single greatest underlying cause for the current US recession. The middle class can no longer afford to sustain their share of the economy. Their wealth has been gradually transfered to the richest 1%. One way or another, we suffer because of their incredible greed. We are talking about TRILLIONS of dollars. Transfered FROM US TO THEM. Over a period of about 27 years. Thats Reaganomics for you. The wealth does not ‘trickle down’ as we were told it would. It just accumulates at the top. Shrinking the middle class and expanding the lower class. Causing a domino effect of socio-economic problems. But the rich will never stop. They will never settle for a reasonable share of ANYTHING. They will do whatever it takes to get even richer. Leaving even less of the pie for the other 99% of us to share. At the same time, they throw back a few tax deductable crumbs and call themselves ‘humanitarians’. IT CAN’T WORK THIS WAY. This is going to end just like a game of Monopoly. The current US recession will drag on for years and lead into the worst US depression of all time. The richest 1% will live like royalty while the rest of us fight over jobs, food, and gasoline. Crime, poverty, and suicide will skyrocket. So don’t fall for all of this PR CRAP from Hollywood, Pro Sports, and Wall Street PIGS. ITS A SHAM. Remember: They are filthy rich EVEN AFTER their tax deductable contributions. Greedy pigs. Now, we are headed for the worst economic and cultural crisis of all time. SEND A “THANK YOU” NOTE TO YOUR FAVORITE MILLIONAIRE. ITS THEIR FAULT. I’m not discounting other factors like China, sub-prime, or gas prices. But all of those factors combined still pale in comparison to that HUGE transfer of wealth to the rich. Anyway, those other factors are all related and further aggrivated because of GREED. If it weren’t for the OBSCENE distribution of wealth within our country, there never would have been such a market for sub-prime to begin with. Which by the way, was another trick whipped up by greedy bankers and executives. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. The credit industry has been ENDORSED by people like Oprah, Ellen, Dr Phil, and many other celebrities. IT MAKES THEM RICHER. So don’t fall for their ‘humanitarian’ BS. ITS A SHAM. NOTHING BUT TAX DEDUCTABLE PR CRAP. Bottom line: The richest 1% will soon tank the largest economy in the world. It will be like nothing we’ve ever seen before. and thats just the beginning. Greed will eventually tank every major economy in the world. Causing millions to suffer and die. Oprah, Angelina, Brad, Bono, and Bill are not part of the solution. They are part of the problem. EXTREME WEALTH HAS MADE WORLD PROSPERITY ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE. WITHOUT WORLD PROSPERITY, THERE WILL NEVER BE WORLD PEACE OR ANYTHING EVEN CLOSE. GREED KILLS. IT WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL. Of course, the rich will throw a fit and call me a madman. Of course, their ignorant fans will do the same. You have to expect that. But I speak the truth. If you don’t believe me, then copy this entry and run it by any professor of economics or socio-economics. Then tell a friend. Call the local radio station. Re-post this entry or put it in your own words. Be one of the first to predict the worst economic and cultural crisis of all time and explain its cause. WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.
ReplyClue was Parker Bros.
ReplyAnd they already are in the process of making a GI Joe movie.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Are you talking about the Clue movie, Captain? Cause that movie was hilarious.
ReplyRemember Clue? They can do anything - but no one said it would be good.
ReplyUm, 'Universal Studios is part of media conglomerate NBC Universal, which is 80% owned by General Electric.'
ReplyOh great, so the entire Monopoly film will be set around the fucking Utilities?
Spirograph + marijuana = several hours of the most epic film watching ever.
Replything with two head are people too !!! >O
ReplyPlay-Doh would be a good movie.
ReplyHumor aside, I decide to look up Hasbro's IP from our most reliable source, Wikipedia.
ReplyLet's see:
Action Man
Army Ants
Battle Beasts
Beyblade
Easy-Bake Oven
GI Joe
Jem and The Holograms
Littlest Pet Shop
Lincoln Logs
Lite-Brite
Mr. Potato Head
My Little Pony
Play-Doh
Spirograph
...and some other stuff
Looking at this least, unless they're going to bring back Xevoz in a really big way...
HOLY CRAP!!!!
GI JOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love that movie. I have seen it many times. I used to watch it on Saturday mornings before I realized it was ridiculous.
ReplyHmm... I smell a sitcom...
ReplyJeff: Probably anyone who heard about it.
ReplyWho would have suspected that neither would care for the idea too much?
ReplyWhy would the cops keep driving into the same ravine? Are they blind?
Reply