When he was awarded the medal of valor in the face of freedom (or something) four years ago at a secret underground Scientology convention, madman and handsome devil Tom Cruise presented a brief video interview in which he discussed his views on Scientology, his abiding passion for its teachings, and other crazy nonsense. Shockingly, it's taken that long for the thing to leak to the Internet.
What you didn't know (until now!) was that the liberal use of jump cuts in the interview was a largely successful attempt to gloss over some of Mr. Cruise's more "off-balance" remarks. Well, let it never be said that I won't face hordes of enraged attack dogs, thetans and Katie Holmeses to get to the bottom of a story.
Here, for the first time, I present to you the interview with the edited portions re-inserted. Mr. Cruise?
NOTE: This video was removed due to a complaint by the Church of Scientology. I have re-posted it in a (slightly) lower profile location. Enjoy it while it lasts, folks. And hey, while I'm at it, I'll be a whore and say DIGGS PLEEZ, if only because I hate the Church of Scientology that much.
Besides blogging for CRACKED, Michael also makes slanderous videos as head writer and co-founder of Those Arent Muskets!