Tom Cruise Scientology Interview (UNCUT!)
When he was awarded the medal of valor in the face of freedom (or something) four years ago at a secret underground Scientology convention, madman and handsome devil Tom Cruise presented a brief video interview in which he discussed his views on Scientology, his abiding passion for its teachings, and other crazy nonsense. Shockingly, it's taken that long for the thing to leak to the Internet.
What you didn't know (until now!) was that the liberal use of jump cuts in the interview was a largely successful attempt to gloss over some of Mr. Cruise's more "off-balance" remarks. Well, let it never be said that I won't face hordes of enraged attack dogs, thetans and Katie Holmeses to get to the bottom of a story.
Here, for the first time, I present to you the interview with the edited portions re-inserted. Mr. Cruise?
NOTE: This video was removed due to a complaint by the Church of Scientology. I have re-posted it in a (slightly) lower profile location. Enjoy it while it lasts, folks. And hey, while I'm at it, I'll be a whore and say DIGGS PLEEZ, if only because I hate the Church of Scientology that much.
Besides blogging for CRACKED, Michael also makes slanderous videos as head writer and co-founder of Those Arent Muskets!
i have seen this like 10 times. it's still hilarious. i love it.
Replymake that 20
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Sorry to burst your bubbles, guys, but Tom Cruise IS the only one who can help out at accidents. Last week I was driving past a horrific wreck, and when I pulled over and ran to the scene, I was propelled back by some unseen force. No matter how hard I tried, I simply could not get to the cars. Luckily, for the horribly wounded people involved in the accident, Tom arrived in time to remove everyone from their flaming vehicles just before they exploded. He also dressed their wounds and punched a child in the face for asking if he could have something for the pain. God bless Tom.
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glendoor24, dude, my post above yours; hate to say but I'm not the Nick you think I am, I'm not THAT Nick.
ReplyIs this video available on torrent?
ReplyNick is back !!! Nick is back !!!! Nick is back!!!! Yeaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
ReplyJames,
ReplyA very stoic defense of Tom Cruise I must say... however
Perhaps becuase, as you mentioned, you work in a carrer field populated by some of the most self centered, selfish, arrogant douchebags on the planet, the concept of a person that wants to better the world and the people that live in it might seem unheard of - perhaps leading to your opinion that because of Tom Cruise's attitude toward "helping" people he is some kind of saintly figure.
Many peolpe in the down to earth world of normality like to help eachother to better other's lives too: it's called living. It's what people like doctors and nurses do, or school teachers, or a freakin garbage collector - and they don't need to be a part of fruity little cult to do it - and they don't arrogantly boast about it in films like this.
Swaim, awesome video btw! That is the funniest shit I have seen in a long time.
"if you drive past an accident, you know you have to help, because you know your the only one who can really help" WTF!!! Oh, I see Mr Cruise, because normal people must be far too retarded to help out at the scene of an accident... douchebag.
Relax and embrace the madness.
ReplyAh shit, wanted to leave it at that but a couple more points present themselves:
Reply1) The "actors" of your social group in NYC can be discounted as a valid cross-section of society upon which any universal commentary on humanity can be based.
2) Thank you to everyone whose humourous comments and or staunch stands (combined with the wine I've had tonight) have contributed to my 1st and 2nd comments on the Interweb EVER. Keep up the good work Cracked, ditch the bad (of which there is mercifully little).
Finally,in response to another article, I've never had to deal with Army Ants, but Siafu/Driver Ants (in Africa) are officially natures exception to the rule of "play dead" when under attack. One night 23 of us on a volunteer group had to simply get out of the way and wait for them to pass through (in pouring rain) our campsite becuse there is no stopping or diverting a swarm of these mothers. Unwittingly stand on a trail of them and they slice and dice without discrimination. I could go on, but if you feel like knowing more, Wikipedia them, just don't underestimate them!
Hey Tom, try to be more subtle next time.
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