I’ve never been a sports guy. I don’t know what RBI stands for, and I’ve always assumed Fantasy Football was a cycle of Tolkein novels. Even so, I’ve done my best to avoid missing out on a very important aspect of male bonding: the statistic.
My methods are simple. I just took something sweaty and unsavory—sports—and replaced it with something with which I’m far more comfortable—video games. So when I’m at a Sunday barbecue and people start arguing about A-Rod’s error matrix or “Shoeless”” Joe Jackson’s free throw percentage, I just fire back with the latest Snood worldwide leaderboard scores and Mario Bros. 3 speed run times.
This has the added bonus that I’m no longer invited to lame Sunday barbecues, and can devote most of my time to following the sales reports of all the next-gen systems. I was doing just that when I came across this shocking survey that has revealed a full forty percent of gamers to be women. Not just Wii gamers either; the manly systems too.
Forty percent?! I don’t know about you, but frankly I would have been less surprised to hear that forty percent of gamers were currently on fire. It’s long been popular gaming dogma that the closest two X chromosomes ever got to a PS3 was when you and your buddy leaned in real close during the final lap of a heated Mario Kart race.
But when you think about it, there were signs. Ecco the Dolphin for one. Then there’s E3, the world’s biggest gaming conference, which recently shut its doors to the public. In retrospect, we can only assume it was because the influx of female gamers caused so much flop sweat that their cleaning bills became untenable. That and the fact that they had to install a women’s restroom.
And of course there’s The Sims. Come on. A game where you raise a family, hold down a decent job, and sex only lasts fifteen seconds? A woman’s world if ever there was one. The only concession they made to the male perspective was the fact that your wife speaks in unintelligible gibberish.
But for better or worse, the times they are a-changing. The lady gamers of the world have kicked in the bedroom door and demand to be heard. No more Samus Aran masturbatory aides at the end of Metroid games unless there’s an equally arousing shot of Sonic at the ends of his games (which I’m sure Tails would be totally fine with).
And from now on, expect every booth babe you encounter to be accompanied by at least one oiled-up Chippendale’s dancer dressed as Wakka from FFX. I blame Barbie and the Magic Pegasus.
But, hey, more power to you, ladies. I don’t understand you or your mysterious nurturing instinct, but welcome aboard. Grab a Halo-branded can of Mountain Dew, a Yoshi Fruit Roll-Up, and a Dreamcast controller. It’s on.
And in the meantime, I’ve decided that it might be worthwhile for the Cracked Blog to stop neglecting the penis-disabled portion of its audience as well. After all, for all we know, forty percent of our readers could be women, and here we are, five handsome guys and their rough-and-tumble editor spending every day together doing squat thrusts and revving motorcycles (we used to ride them too, but Jack said we couldn’t after Dan’s “accident” with the fuel intake).
Let it never be said that Michael Swaim doesn’t embrace change, nor that he lacks an insightful understanding of the female of the species. From here on out, consider this post your own personal Ladies’ Room.
Hey gals! Welcome back; missed you since last time! To all the sisters out there on their periods…ugh! Right? I know! So, let’s scope out the news of the day. First off, I’ve got a little item here about…ummm…I don’t know…UNICORNS?!
That’s right, they’re real! All of the doodles in our school notebooks, stickers on our backpacks, and modified party hats on our ponies are finally justified! Of course, it’s only an Italian deer, but think what wonders you could do with a little pink spraypaint and body glitter!
Which reminds me…GLITTER BREAK!
The whole thing’s got me wetter than my eyes were after that jerk Clint stood me up at the food court (see last week’s post, “Why are guys such jerks? Sigh.”). Oh well; he can’t have multiple orgasms or know the joy of bearing a child, then suckling it from your own breast.
Am I right grrls?! That’s all for now. Kisses!
X<3X<3X<3X<3X<3X<3
There you go. That’s what you can expect from this blog at least forty percent of the time from now on, and if you don’t like it, well, you can just share your emotions with me in a passive-aggressive, but ultimately loving way that strengthens our bond of friendship and highlights our inner sameness.
When not masterfully analyzing the opposite sex, Michael is rocking out for girl power as head writer and co-founder for Those Aren’t Muskets!
Last 5 posts by Michael Swaim
- 2012 ... The Realistic Edition - January 7th, 2009
- The 8 Most Misguided Sci-Fi Versions Of 2008 - December 29th, 2008
- The 8 Best Internet Sketch Troupes Whose Initials Aren't TAM - December 15th, 2008
- The First 100 Days ... After: A Primer for George W. Bush - December 11th, 2008
- How Can We Be In A Recession If We've Got So Much Money? - December 10th, 2008
November 10th, 2008 at 4:09 am
Unicorns and glitter?!?!?!?! =faints= Will you marry me?
O_O
September 18th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
I went to the google shopping link for barbie and the magic pegasus and it said:
$1 to $500
at 69 stores
All 12-year old shenanigans aside about it being in exactly 69 stores, $500!!!!!???!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?
August 12th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Melanie, are you saying Cracked.com is the blog for you, or cougarlove.com?
August 12th, 2008 at 6:51 am
dont get me wrong, swaimy is the best but i know that not all girls like unicorns, etc….. at least not the ones over the age of 8…..(i still think DOB is better)
August 10th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Finally, a blog just for me!
August 6th, 2008 at 9:48 am
I strongly suggest you get more from the hot cougar dating club called Cougarlove.com, a nice and free place for Older Women and Younger Men to interact with each other. It’s fabulous.
August 2nd, 2008 at 9:00 am
mike, that part at the end was’nt cool.that is so like you to just say every girl likes those kind of things.were not all groups of glittery, unicorn-obsessed fashion queens, you know.some girls are,i dunno, a little less popular?
August 1st, 2008 at 3:07 pm
kingmonkey, me thinks your getting a little too excited about this.
August 1st, 2008 at 1:42 pm
All the mascots can have chaps instead of pants.
August 1st, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Goddamnit Glendoor, now I’m reading my own comment as theme park!
Why you! *shakes fist*
August 1st, 2008 at 10:25 am
can this nonsence please end. I mean just SHUT UP *slap*.
August 1st, 2008 at 10:24 am
A D&D anal sex theme park?
That would attract a unique cross-section of the population– a cross-section I’m not sure I’d actually want to go on a roller coaster ride with.
August 1st, 2008 at 9:28 am
For some reason I read that as theme park , I’m not awake yet.
August 1st, 2008 at 9:27 am
“A D&D themed adult film would be highly dissapointing.”
What do you think Comic Con is.
August 1st, 2008 at 5:56 am
Well, the two hardly go together, sex and D&D. A D&D themed adult film would be highly dissapointing.
Turn-based simulated sex would be interesting however.
July 31st, 2008 at 6:34 pm
“I, for one, am surprised at the number of girls proclaiming to enjoy anal sex. Where were you when I was in high school?”
They weren’t playing D&D with me, that’s for damn sure.
July 31st, 2008 at 4:17 pm
It’s okay, I understand now, It’s just that yeah those comments could have come across as something else.
Now you’ve explained, yeah I agree with you actually. I don’t like people basing an entire gender as evil because of their own insecurities.
July 31st, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Panzier:
Nononono, that wasn’t what I meant at all. I’m saying that rejecting anything male only because it’s male and that believing a penis is evil simply because it’s a penis is essentially rejecting your own origins and saying reproduction in itself is evil because it requires what you hate. I didn’t mean to sound like sexuality should just be for reproduction and thus all homosexuals are bad; I just meant that outward and open hostility to a particular (chromosomal) sex simply because it is that sex does not take into consideration the fact that what is being rejected is necessary for the existence of the person doing the rejecting. Militant lesbians and male homosexuals do the same kind of harm to the GLBTQ community that the militant feminists do to women’s rights by spreading messages of hate and hostility, that’s what I was trying to portray. My apologies for coming across as prejudiced.
July 31st, 2008 at 9:44 am
I, for one, am surprised at the number of girls proclaiming to enjoy anal sex. Where were you when I was in high school?
July 31st, 2008 at 9:24 am
i feel the need to sign out of this conversation. j-pappi, you are completely right - this isn’t fun, just distracting. and a useful tool for procrastination. but for now, i am going to go focus on something that is actually worth the time and effort i like to put into my procrastination techniques: facebook. no i’m just kidding, i’m actually on myspace.
July 31st, 2008 at 5:21 am
Um, Gabolicious?
“Rejecting anything male is just as bad, since it takes both male and female reproductive fluids to make an embryo.”
So to you, because it’s not reproduction that lesbianism and male homosexuality shouldn’t be allowed?
Isn’t homophobia another form of prejudice?
July 31st, 2008 at 2:04 am
No, no, no. You all are trying so hard to validate something that OUGHT to be known by everyone involved in the first place (and likely is) that you’re missing all the fun. Unless you’re having fun with those comments, in which case I’m truly sorry life has come to all that. It’s not really that bad; guys are mostly assholes but you’re mostly bitches too; let’s all rejoice in life and have fun. Here, have some popcorn (and yes, that’s my dick coming up through the bottom).
July 30th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
hmmm… we all have them?
July 30th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
What does all this have to do with titties? (ducks quickly)
July 30th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Bethany and Pinwheel: We can unite, and we shall!!! I too get frustrated at women that think feminism means being bitchy. It’s counter-productive. The women that say they hate pink simply because it’s normally associated with femininity are just as bad as the lesbians that think all men are evil simply because of their chromosomes. Granted, I also wanted to punch the gay guy that said, “I’d never stick my penis in something that bleeds for a week and doesn’t die!” and say, “Hello, you CAME OUT OF A VAGINA, you asshat!” Rejecting anything male is just as bad, since it takes both male and female reproductive fluids to make an embryo.
But really, I think feminists like that are the fringe groups, and however annoying they are, they are ultimately necessary. Look at the Women’s Suffrage movement here, for example. If extremists like Alice Paul hadn’t pushed NAWSA and been willing to go to jail, giving NAWSA the chance it needed to lobby for the 19th Amendment, we wouldn’t have been given the vote. I’m not saying I agree with them on everything, but I realize we’re ultimately going for the same thing.
July 30th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Gabolicious:
I’m sorry, I should have clarified that I wasn’t targeting anyone specifically in my post. I was actually trying to show solidarity with you. I’m a tool.
I did get the joke of the article. However, like you said, even other women buy into those stereotypes, which ruins the joke, because we hear it all the time. And I’m afraid that parody can lose its impact when it too closely resembles that which it’s parodying. It needs that bite that shocks its targets into enlightenment. Not that I was offended by the article, I’m just saying.
I know the guys are probably oblivious to it (sorry, fellas, but you’re just not privy to the subtle weapons we woman use in battle against each other every day), but girl geeks can be harsh.
When I worked at the comics book store, I tried to engage every customer in conversation about the books they were buying. 50% of the women were open to it and, thanks to them, I think that that store was the most female-friendly comic book shop I’ve ever been to. (My comment about the barking was supposed to be a joke, and I admit I wasn’t on my game. Partly because I was drunk. From drinking pink Cosmappletinis. Chased with PBR.)
20% were too busy or uninterested to get involved in our little community — no problem, but they didn’t show any aversion to it, either.
The other 30% would be really rude, snarkily testing my comic book knowledge and purposely ignoring me when they had questions (they would ask the male employees and walk away when they were directed to me). When I talked to any men they happened to be with, those women would ridicule whatever I said. The Queen Bee syndrome is an ugly thing.
I have a geekboy fetish, and I do like the attention I get for being a woman who likes comics and video games. I can’t help it, I have an ego and everyone likes to feel special. And there’s an ugly part of myself who wants every man all to myself. There’s also a part of myself who wants to get money without working for it, and a part that wants to be the center of attention wherever I go. The thing is that those parts of me are bad and I shouldn’t indulge them. So instead of conning people out of money, I go to work. Instead of demanding that everybody pay attention to me, I pay attention to them. And instead of attacking every woman who infringes on my special status as a chick who likes geeky stuff, I make friends with them.
So yeah, I get frustrated with the women who could be helping with that solidarity, but instead, they insult women who show any traits that resemble the sterotypes they’re trying to combat (fantasizing about Enya covered in glitter riding a unicorn while eating chocolate and having sex with their father who is a millionaire).
Anyway, my (still drunken) point is, geek girls unite!
July 30th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
ergonomic:
I wasn’t trying to argue with the blog, but the women who found the blog offensive. The girly girl stereotype is offensive and destructive, but the women who reject all things traditionally feminine as a way to break down the stereotype are doing just as much damage. I can’t speak for the girls who commented, but I at least didn’t do it to say “Look at MEEEE! I’m different!” I was just trying to make the point that being a girl of course doesn’t mean loving make up and hating video games, but being a feminist doesn’t mean hating make up and loving video games. You can have your cake and eat it too.
Third wave feminism is a wonderful thing, ladies, look it up.
July 30th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
ergonomic:
i agree. mostly because some women seem to feel the need to prove that they are women by listing stereo-types about women, and then something to break them. i’m not saying thats not who they are, im just saying that its kind of funny. in a “look what that man on the street is wearing” kind of way. you know, when the man in question has leather pants, a flowy green floral top, flip flops and a dog collar on. and hes writhing on the floor foaming at the mouth as he proclaims the end of the world. hilarity ensues, obviously.
July 30th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Ergonomic: We did, but some of the dumbasses commenting and saying, basically, that all women are exactly the same and only fit into cookie-cutter categories made us feel the need to break the molds they set forth, since THEY obviously DIDN’T get the joke. If I had simply said, “That’s not true,” they’d say, “PROVE IT, BITCH! I seen what I seen, shut your trap!” (cough, J-Pappi) So how better to prove it than by example? It’s a little pathetic that it must come down to that, I’ll admit, but when fighting stereotypes of any kind, often the only way to do it is by presenting examples where they aren’t true in order to open the eyes of people that are convinced said stereotypes are 100% accurate. And I mean it when I say any kind, too, not just gender-related ones– class, race, religion, ethnicity, whatever.
Jay: Sounds like you need some luvin. Ever try Match.com? ;p
July 30th, 2008 at 6:41 am
Gabolicious Says:
Jay: I shake my head at you.
You know what? My shrink says the very same thing. So does my unicorn horn connection.
July 30th, 2008 at 5:49 am
lol! I’m a girl and I like sunsets, rollerskating in the park, puppies, anal sex, unicorns (WITHOUT glitter), glitter, glitter in the shape of unicorns, enya, enya riding a unicorn, enya singing songs about unicorns, Bear Grylls, bear grills, foot massages, rubbing vaseline into my mother’s elbows, Halle Berry, the froth off the top of a cappuccino, guys with underbites, building sandcastles, leaving firecrackers in the school staff room and having a reallylong fuse that goes round the corner and down the passage so I can light it and make my getaway whilst the photocopier is exploding, Anne Rice novels, a big tub of ice cream that I comfort-devour when that guy I’m dating breaks up with me and I have to get my girfriends to come over so we can talk about what pigs men are and how we’re totally too good for them and then we watch The Breakfast club and totally swoon over Bender (the one who’s not the robot) and then we paint each other’s toenails and have pillow fights in our underwear (lol, I mean, we’re WEARING the underwear and having a pillow fight dressed like that. Not actually fighting INSIDE our underwear! lol!!@@), lunch, The Hills, Ashton Kutcher (OMG!!!1)and Grey’s Anatomy…
Why does nearly every female commenting on this article feel the need to supply a list of their own feminine credentials which may or may not include unicorns/glitter/anal sex/eating off other people’s plates (totally my new euphemism for cunnilingus)? Did you not get the joke or something?
July 30th, 2008 at 1:39 am
Jay: I shake my head at you.
July 30th, 2008 at 1:37 am
Wallsy: While I love unicorns, I am often much of a utilitarian. The healing properties of unicorn horns are quite valuable, almost as much as the tears of Chuck Norris. I’d sign a petition that put harsher regulations on unicorn hunting, but nothing so extreme as to completely stop the practice. Medical science needs unicorn horns. Sorry…
July 30th, 2008 at 12:48 am
Amber Says:
> do you honestly think the women who read cracked would be into unicorns and glitter
> gifs?
Why wouldn’t they be?
J-Pappi Says:
> Wallsy, I’ve got some news that may depress you. It actually IS possible to have sex
> with two bi chicks outside of a pRon shoot
Firstly, no shit. Secondly, why would that depress me?
I was talking specifically about watching two people of the opposite sex, not participating. I wasn’t saying that there are no circumstances in which participation would be possible, I just wasn’t talking about them.
Nicole Says:
> I think most of us can agree that the writer’s opinion about women is pretty insulting.
Really doesn’t look that way.
squiggle Says:
> Hmm. Two women don’t generally do much for me, yet I quite like the idea of two
> androgynous men. The young Marc Bolan and David Bowie, say.
> And yet I’m a heterosexual male.
> No, really.
Sure you are.
Gabolicious Says:
> Hey, Pinwheel, didn’t I JUST say I like unicorns?
That goes without saying. Unicorns are awesome and you’d have to be insane not to like them. And speaking of unicorns, if you want to make unicorn hunting illegal, sign my petition! http://wallsy.livejournal.com/86807.html
July 29th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
femi nazi’s all of you.
the only thing I learned from this that feminist or not, women are gabby. end of story.
July 29th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Bethany is a whooooooooooore.
July 29th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
I am a woman and I enjoy:
sex
video games
fruity girly drinks
hard alcohol
two boys making out
two girls making out
EVERYONE MAKING OUT
glitter
fairies
sports
role playing (the sexy kind and the geeky kind)
also, I greatly appreciate satire and am therefore very amused by this blog and it’s blatant mockery of female stereotypes, geek stereotypes, and female-geek stereotypes.
suck it.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Gabolicious Says:
Oh, there was this one time I saw a girl at college blow up at a guy for opening the door for her and I wanted to punch her in the face… But, I digress…
I got decked by this one girl for that very thing. Punched me right in the face, knocked my geeky glasses right off my fact. Of course, it was the door to the women’s bathroom, so that might have had something to do with it.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Would that make Bucholz Zach Morris?
July 29th, 2008 at 5:19 am
Cracked needs a funny female blogger. Just imagine all the hijinks the other bloggers would get into, trying to attract her attention…kind of like an episode of “Saved By The Bell,” but in this situation almost everyone would be Screech. Except DOB…he’d be Slater.
July 29th, 2008 at 5:00 am
The last girl I went out with was cool as hell, in that she had 50 pairs of shoes (she had a CLOSET from IKEA to store them in) and loved to go dancing but she also drank Jack Daniels and understood the principles of rugby and good music. It was a very good balance.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:41 am
Hey, Pinwheel, didn’t I JUST say I like unicorns? C’mon, don’t be hating so much. I’ll watch football and swear like a sailor at the dumba** that can’t catch a ball in the red zone as I paint my fingernails with sparkly pink nailpolish, alright? There are tons of other examples I could give about myself personally, and most of my female friends are like that, too, in their own ways.
Although I do share your frustration when I meet feminists that think you can only be girly or butch and that there is no chance of being a bit of both. Oh, there was this one time I saw a girl at college blow up at a guy for opening the door for her and I wanted to punch her in the face… But, I digress…
July 28th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Yo, why do women who like things like comics and video games always tell anyone in earshot they hate pink, glitter and unicorns? Seriously. I worked at a comic book shop and every time I opened my mouth to tell a female customer her total, she would bark, “I HATE PINK AND GLITTER. ALSO, I DRINK BEER.”* Look up third-wave feminism, ladies.
I’m not surprised that there are a lot of female gamers (that store sold Magic the Gathering and video games as well, and the regulars weren’t all men).
However, if guys still want to put such women on a pedestal, here’s a simple test: if she hates other women simply for being “girly,” or she gets annoyed when another female gamer shows up to the party, she’s not worth it.
For what it’s worth as the word of a female who plays video games and reads comics, the women who show camaraderie with me are a hundred times cooler than the ones who sulk and bitch about another woman’s tomboy credentials.
*Not really.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Alright, this was the best blog post I’ve ever read on this site. I am a woman, and I don’t even get women…so, good job!
July 28th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Wow, Swaim, you’ve really helped us make great strides toward understanding between genders. Except for J-Pappi… he’s hopeless.
July 28th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
That’s the beauty of working in the field of edumacashown: summers off. Although, admittedly, I did post that right after a staff prep meeting… But at least I’m not the only one that made that connection. Huzzah!
July 28th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
whats really funny is that i almost left a post saying the same thing : that the lesson here was that everyone is different, and in that respect boys and girls are just the same! in some ways. and then, truly pathetically, i thought better of it, and went back to doing actual work, like i was supposed to be doing.
July 28th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Ok, and I’m not very computer savvy (I’m a console gamer, not a PC one), but for some reason it won’t let me leave a comment as a registered member or whatever… I’m logged in and everything, grrrrrr.
July 28th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I think the myriad answers the women have left already prove the point I wanted to make: everyone is different. Some women like some things, others don’t; and the same goes for men. So I try to treat each person individually. Yeah, I hang with a “crowd” that shares a number of interests, but even among us, we don’t always like and dislike the exact same things.
For the record, I’m a heterosexual female that likes unicorns AND cars that doesn’t like the idea of guy-on-guy, no matter how macho or effeminate. And I’d much prefer an Aragorn over a Legolas– how could I ever sleep with someone prettier than me? Give me a big broadsword over a pricky arrow any day. And while I’m a feminist, I thought the post was hilarious because it was good satire that made fun of the dumb stereotypes out there about women.
July 28th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
what the hell is tfc2?
July 28th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Awww, shucks! I’m positively blushing. There is a “Mos Steph” here too, but she means nothing to me, I swear. Unless you’re also her (or she calls me later) in which case you both mean the world to me. Does this mean I have to cuddle with your unicorns like I did Holly’s? Not that that’s a problem, of course. I know; to settle the issue we could invite Holly along too! For purely scientifically experimental purposes, of course. You know, to test your theory about women wanting the challenge to turn someone (in this case whichever one of you is less secretly bi…high five for an excellent idea J-Pappi!). I would get nothing out of it myself, of course; I’d even wear a lab coat. But no pants.
July 28th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
You guys are just too funny. And why would any guy be pretending on here to be a girl? Guys on Cracked (particularly the bloggers) seem fond of painting themselves as raging machos. Not that I mind or anything, it’s very cute (in a good way, not, you know, a patronizing way, guys).
And (unless he was referring to some other Steph) I love J-Pappi too.
July 28th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
It was Ireland, ACTUALLY.
When I say it was Ireland, I mean I stole a Dylan Moran joke.
July 28th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
MBS: my emotional penis makes up for my empty soul.
Holly, was was that you said besides measuring your bust and anal sex? There appeared to be extra words there, but they must have been in another language.
In52: It was awkward indeed, but not scarring. Women are just like snowflakes of individuality, and all that.
Ross, apparently the rumors I heard about Scotland were true after all, eh?
Nicole, I do indeed have issues with women I need to work out. My preferred method of therapy is sex.
July 28th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Damn it, girls. Don’t you know hope is a dangerous thing to give to a nerd? You’re just setting up hundreds of Cracked nerds for imminent disappointment and rejection! Someone is going to read this comments page and decide to ask a ’smokin’ hot redhead’ out and wham! He’ll be beaten down by her jock boyfriend and laughed at by the girl in question.
And I won’t be there to record it and post it to Youtube.
July 28th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
also, purse dogs are fucking retarded.
July 28th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I’m a girl, i enjoyed the article, except the unicorns. Unicorns are not cool, and glitter is overused. Also, I know what an RBI is, I went to a baseball game yesterday, and i play video games, not on wii either. Lego Star Wars anyone? heh
July 28th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Just to be clear:
I’m not a femi-nazi.
I was having a bad day.
I ranted.
So sue me.
And to respond to J-Pappi: I’m not 400 pounds, and neither are any of my friends. All of my girlfriends love video games, my sisters play video games, I play video games. We don’t live in Europe.
And I think that you have some issues about women that you need to work out. Maybe in therapy?
Maybe I’m just weird, but unicorns, glitter, and shopping don’t really appeal to me. Two guys making out….maybe.
July 28th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Mmm. Christmas trees. I love a good gin and tonic!
July 28th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
good one metalbrainsurgery. i laughed like a jolly fat man
July 28th, 2008 at 11:29 am
interesting. i personally prefer my shots: vodka or tequila will do nicely.
July 28th, 2008 at 11:14 am
And it tastes like Christmas trees!
July 28th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Gin is just something women do best, it turns them from normal happy creatures into screeching, middle aged shoeless drunkards standing on a stairway telling everyone to fuck right off out of their goddamn fucking house.
July 28th, 2008 at 10:32 am
. . . You should work for Cracked, then!
July 28th, 2008 at 10:12 am
They’re just things I like. Some of them feminine, some awesome. I didn’t think it would really prove anything. I also like compiling lists.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:55 am
holly…
does not really prove anything except that you seem to think those things are stereotypically feminine, which i resent. i for one, am not a fan of answering machine messages, or children.
j-pappi -
sounds horrifying. i am terribly sorry anyone was so awkward in bed. she should have just shut up and taken it. but for real, she sounds like someone i know. someone i really, really hate. if it was her, then i am even sorrier than you could possibly imagine.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Holly–you could just be an eccentric guy.
And how is liking gin a female trait? Or Patrick Dempsey’s hair, for that matter?!
July 28th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Aww, you think I’m a guy kingmonkey? I don’t know what to say to prove it to you. These are some things I like: shoes, colours, jewelry, fancy soap, Patrick Dempsey’s hair, not killing things, recycling, rainbows, anal sex, Rube Goldberg machines, penis, lip gloss, trees, passable grammar on the internet, exfoliating, Ninja Turtle abs, puppies, folk music, plasticine, cinnamon, rambling answering machine messages, children, yoga, journaling, measuring my bust size and comparing it to celebrities, salad, gin, ruffles, Project Runway, beards, sushi, dresses, and eating off other people’s plates.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:01 am
So close, guys. I was right there. Can you feel my pain? It feels like chafing.
Um, no. Sorry, but if you had that opportunity at all, ever, I don’t really feel like you actually need any consolation! Just a time machine.
July 28th, 2008 at 9:00 am
“Oh, baby, do you like it like that?”
“Sure. Man, isn’t this weather odd? I mean, it’s like cold one day, and then–”
“Oh, you make me hot, don’t I make you hot?”
“Ohhh, crap, did I leave the oven on? Hold on, let me think . . . ”
“Can I stick it in . . . here?”
“Oh, that reminds me, have you ever been to Disney World? Funny story about that!”
July 28th, 2008 at 12:50 am
hah J-Pappi, your penis has feelings. what a pussy.
July 27th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
One of the girls I was referring to earlier as being a Sims fanatic and semi-psycho wannabe homemaker is named Megan. Please tell me you’re not living in Georgia. That girl genuinely frightens me, and not many do.
In52minutes, I think she was just a wack-job, truthfully. I did talk her into sleeping with me, but it was like having sex with an autistic person. And not the good kind of autistic. She kept talking to me the whole time about things she’d normally talk about if we were having coffee or something; it freaked me out and made my penis feel small. Not that I stopped or anything.
July 27th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
The bit about Sims is so true. My sister used to play it all the time and make multiple households revolving around her and her current boyfriend having like 5 kids. Yuck.
July 27th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
“the manly systems too.”
What PCs? Certainly not the overpriced graphic card systems that the 14 year olds crave.
July 27th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Maplebang!!!!!!!!
I’ve never been with two girls at once but I have been with two pairs of sisters at different
times.
July 27th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Also, to all the guys pretending to be girls while posting here, thank you for your effort in keeping nerd hope alive.
Looking forward to meating you, Holly!
July 27th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
You know, I almost got to sleep with two girls at once, a few years back. It was like being right at the door of the holy grail room, and then realizing that once you get in there, you’re probably going to fuck something up, break the cup, or something.
Then you decide to go for it, but the door is stuck.
So close, guys. I was right there. Can you feel my pain? It feels like chafing.
July 27th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Screw the glitter and unicorns. Give me some swords and a pizza. NOW!
July 27th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
what were her goals and accomplishments? did they involve hooking up with people? was she a slut? or just embarrassed to admit she had a normal sense of attraction?
July 27th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Yes, perhaps he does.
July 27th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
“Goals and accomplishments” is simply a euphemism for “photos of DOB’s abs taken from space”.
July 27th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
No offense, Squiggle, but are you sure? That post practically has its own Gloria Gaynor soundtrack.
July 27th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Of course women are sometimes horny. The question is, what is it they’re horny about? Credit cards? New outfits? I’m joking, but in all honesty I knew a girl once who confided in me that when she masturbated she thought about daily goals and accomplishments. That’s pretty messed up. You heard it here first, ladies; your reputations aren’t nearly as important to us as conventional society says they are. You may feel free to confide your darkest, nasties thoughts and actions to us on this website. We promise not to tell.
July 27th, 2008 at 12:38 pm
Hmm. Two women don’t generally do much for me, yet I quite like the idea of two androgynous men. The young Marc Bolan and David Bowie, say.
And yet I’m a heterosexual male.
No, really.
July 27th, 2008 at 11:14 am
My Grandfather Says:
July 27th, 2008 at 5:53 am
Short version: Are women sometimes horny!?! Like us!?! Alright!
haha. yes.
July 27th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Michael seems like he needs embarrassing sometimes.
July 27th, 2008 at 9:32 am
Thank you, Glendoor42. Michael thinks it’s embarrassing that I write on his blog sometimes, and that I know what an RBI is.
July 27th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Also girl, also love video games. Got my Atari when I was 4 and never looked back really. I did love the Sims when it came out and totally agree its a virtual dollhouse - one where you get to kill your boyfriends by building them into walls… other people did that right?…. Anyway my favourite game is GhostRecon2 on 360….
oh right I posted because I wanted to point out that now cracked.com will be forever associated with pink and glitter and unicorns… bizarre…
July 27th, 2008 at 5:53 am
Short version: Are women sometimes horny!?! Like us!?! Alright!
July 27th, 2008 at 5:52 am
#Holly Says:
July 27th, 2008 at 1:24 am
For the record, when I said “sleep with me” I meant cuddle with me and my stuffed pink sparkly unicorns all night! That’s what all girls mean when they say that.
I think that’s the point of male attraction towards two girls making out. Society tells you (luckily it’s changing) the sex is something men crave while women only see it as a part of a relationship. The sight of two straight girls making out sends the message that these girls actually enjoy sexual activities and for guys as well as girls, the biggest turn-on is seeing or sensing the other persons lust/attraction for you/approval of you, depending on what you’re looking for at the moment.
July 27th, 2008 at 3:49 am
I do Holly, but that’s only after a drunken night in Amsterdam and a fight with a tattoist/arts major.
July 27th, 2008 at 3:44 am
Just don’t get it on my unicorns. It’s a wonder why men don’t have pink sparkly gonads. I’d say that’s a major oversight of evolution.
July 27th, 2008 at 1:43 am
Of course we know that, Holly! Silly. We’re happy to do that, as long as we get to cum on you first. We’re all in the same boat here emotionally, are we not?
Yes, I’m going to bed now.
July 27th, 2008 at 1:24 am
For the record, when I said “sleep with me” I meant cuddle with me and my stuffed pink sparkly unicorns all night! That’s what all girls mean when they say that.
July 27th, 2008 at 12:56 am
- i hate pink unicorns.
“What about purple ones?”
PURPLE ONES!!! they are the best!
mani-pedi parties? then appletinis? WEEEEEE.
like most of the ladies here, i approve.
July 26th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
No, I don’t love Nicole. I love Steph.
July 26th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
MBS, I got one thing to say to you:
To see, to bleed cannot be taught/
In turn you’re making us/
FUCKING HOSTILE.
July 26th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Longtime girl reader here.
Genius as usual, Swaim. The titular question may actually apply.
Though I must say I’m not into video games, and I find two guys making out repugnant. With the thing about guys liking lesbians because “you get twice as much of what you like and don’t have to see anything you don’t like” (credit Anne’s husband), I figured as much, but speaking on behalf of most straight girls I don’t think it works both ways. Maybe in some cases, but not a lot. Girls are perfectly content to watch hetero makeout sessions (in movies, anyway–random strangers doing it in public is little more than hilarious) and pretend they’re the girl. Not to make my own gender sound needy or vain, but what your typical girl finds most hot is a guy that finds HER hot. A guy that finds us repulsive is repulsive to us. So if the rare girl does have an actual attraction to gay guys in general, it’s probably because she’s fantasizing about turning one around, which would make her feel special and attractive.
Though I must say, glitter, unicorns, and the color pink ARE the bomb.
July 26th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
selena Says:
One more girl here.
and to weigh in on some of the quetions above:
-i hate pink unicorns
What about purple ones?
July 26th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
He has a very wonderful mother too. She is nice, from what I can tell.
July 26th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
And another reason Swaim isn’t quite the misogynistic asshole his article made him out to be, he invented clitter. Look for the ad for it on the Tam site. The video of him eating dogshit is there too.
July 26th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
oh and J-papi. You’re “Fucking Hostile”
July 26th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights. ahahahahaha
but seriously, theres nothing funny about that.
July 26th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I’m a girl. And I, for one, have merely been hanging around at Cracked, puzzled (in a cute, feminine, nose-wrinkling way) and disappointed by your refusal to cater to my demographic. The idea of not frequenting the site anymore didn’t occur to me (because it’s an idea, which is a man’s job, duh), but I’m now glad that it didn’t, because I was rewarded with menstrual sympathy.
And glitter.
Cracked? You won me over. Do you know women? Yes. Yes, you do.
July 26th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
I am a girl, and I approve of this article.
July 26th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
And oh yeah, I forgot to mention: Swaim, flattered as I am by your sweet offer, I must decline. It would never work between us, hon. I do know what RBI means AND I love Tolkien. Of course, I just made myself un-bangable to 99% of the guys here, so at least you’re not alone. Hugs and kisses.
July 26th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Funny story, but I AM an uber-feminist and I still thought the Ladies’ room stuff was funny. Of course, in my mind I translated it to mean something like satirizing the stereotypes men have of women. Or something like that.
And Zazacacakaka, you forgot bi-corns, especially glittery ones. They’re offended by being left out.
July 26th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
My girlfriend and my sister both play WoW. Now thats one for the record book.
July 26th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Agreed, Kingmonkey; let’s do rock, paper, scissors to determine who does Holly first.
Selena, does cocaine count as an obvious chemical enhancement?
July 26th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
one more girl here.
and to weigh in on some of the quetions above:
-i like games and most of the other women i know like games as well
-i hate pink unicorns
- i like guys that are muscular, but in a natural way (no obvious chemical enhancements used)
July 26th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Holy crap! Did no one else catch this post:
# Holly Says:
July 26th, 2008 at 9:30 am
YAY! Finally, someone will sleep with me! Lex said no, and he got fired.
She got Lex fired for not sleeping with her? Shit, all the Croggers better start sleeping with Holly or we’ll have nothing to read! In fact, we should all sleep with her just to be on the safe side (we might find our commenting privileges revoked).
July 26th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
ah, i love the way tone translates over the internet…
makes for much more interesting insinuations.
however, at this point in time i am officially embarassed that i am still commenting on this thread. i need to go get a life that starts before eight o’clock. hanging around computers is not a healthy habit.
July 26th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
I agree, Tulip; I think I’m in love with her.
July 26th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
The sexual tension between Nicole and J-Pappi is titillating.
July 26th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
In52minutes, you’re the third person who’s told me that since I’ve started posting here. I’m really not hostile at all; apparently I just come across that way sometimes. I’m almost always smiling when typing on here. I will admit that feminists who pick fights with obviously innocently-intentioned comedy writers irritate me, but I didn’t mean that to sound like women in general make me angry or that I give a fuck if they play video games or not. I don’t even play them myself; just making an observation.
I’m cool with all women as long as they’re making themselves useful like cooking, cleaning, slobbing my knob or getting me a beer.
July 26th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
to be fair, my girlfriend, and every other girl i know (which is like, 30 or something. a huge number i know) have all told me that they hate all video games except for guitar hero and they could never understand what is attractive about 2 men kissing. just throwing that out there
July 26th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Since it was a Swaim article it was more sexually-threatening towards dogs rather than offensive.
July 26th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Please people, keep arguing.
If you need any help I think that article was offensive to women, black people, gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals, bi-curious, asians and dogs.
July 26th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
The comments made me laugh harder than the actual article. I am amused.
July 26th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Ahh that’d be something, to be responsible for a 12 year old asking his mum to explain a dick joke to him.
July 26th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
sorry, and to address j-pappi : woah. wtf, man? you seem very hostile.
glitter and unicorns… yeah… that would be the pre-teen and below set. i doubt very much that any of them are enjoying this website.
July 26th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
i think its more insulting, actually, that there are some women who would assume that the “ladies room” was supposed to be a literal interpretation of women’s interests. it was pretty clear that it was sarcasm, and if you frequent this website, you should be able to get that. if not, well then you’re just buying into a stereotype of women with lower intellects, and thats just insulting to everyone involved.
July 26th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Nicole, shut up and stop making imaginary issues over nothing.
You’re like the gender equivelent of an uber-liberal who accuses everyone of being racist because they’re so sensitive to racial issues since they see nothing but stereotypes. You strike me as a horribly humourless uber-feminist who, like the uber-liberal, jumps on any little issue you feel is a threat to your beliefs. Maybe, just maybe, Swaim was joking?
Joking, you know, something you do on a comedy site?
July 26th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Nicole, I’m 34 years old, have lived in 11 different states and dated a fair number of women in my life ranging in age from 14 (when I was also that age) on up to about 50. I have not yet seen single one that would stoop to playing a video game, or even just not bitching when one is being played by someone else. You must be from Europe. Or 400 pounds. Or a guy who doesn’t like Swaim and just pulling his chain. And if girls at least in some stage of their life didn’t like glitter, the color pink and Unicorns it sure is awful amazing how much of that shit continues to get sold year after year and I doubt it’s all to gay guys.
July 26th, 2008 at 11:11 am
I think most of us can agree that the writer’s opinion about women is pretty insulting. I don’t know any women who DON’T play video games. And most of them play the fairly violent ones too.
I think he pretty much said everything when he said
“But, hey, more power to you, ladies. I don’t understand you…”
Yes. It’s pretty obvious that you don’t.
July 26th, 2008 at 11:04 am
“Res_Ipsa Says:
A) Who ever questioned the brain capacity of women? Or are you merely setting up a strawman with a previously unsaid and non-implied argument so you can knock it down?
B) Capacities may be the same, but men and women do think differently. Different areas of the brain are activated and such. If I hadn’t stopped studying psychology six years ago, I might be able to elucidate. (Or make any sense whatsoever.) As I am not, I’m sure Google would do a fine job. ^_^”
No, the author didn’t outwardly question the intelligence of females, but by making the “Ladies room” part of the article all about glitter and puppies and unicorns, he is essentially insinuating that that is all that women think about. I may have layed on the sarcasm a tad too thickly, but I know what I’m talking about.
And yes, men and women think in different ways, but women do not talk about glitter and their boyfriends and their emotions all the time. We also talk about politics and history and math and science and IMPORTANT things too.
And thank you for your suggestion, but I don’t need to study psychology or use a search engine to understand human nature. It’s really not that difficult.
=)
July 26th, 2008 at 11:02 am
Look, has anyone considered that Michael might have been being a wee bit sarcastic with the fucking glittery pink unicorn and shit.
I know that sarcasm is normally way out of line with Mike’s usual form of humor, which is mostly knock knock jokes and one time he ate dogshit for a laugh, but I think he might of made the intellectual stretch this time.
He’s also a known dog rapist.
July 26th, 2008 at 10:38 am
I’m a female cracked reader and I’m totally pissed that you would think we want pink glittery BS. I read cracked because it doesn’t cater to a female audience and its highly amusing that way.
July 26th, 2008 at 10:10 am
I’m a girl gamer, I hate the color pink, and I never scribbled unicorns.
But I do like to drink beer and destroy other people in video games and poker.
As an added bonus, it’s easy as hell to talk my boyfriend into playing strip Rock Band, or strip COD4. Try talking your girlfriend into that, and let me know how it goes, haha.
We have our snes right next to our 360, and we still have yet to hook up our atari and nes. Some chicks just like to game, and grew up with it. Predator on nes will always have a special place in my heart.
But, nothing will ever beat Space Quest, god damnit. My one wish is for Sierra to stop sucking so bad ( even though they have been for the past 15 years), and release some hot Space Quest(s) action for 360. Maybe even get a little saucy and re-release the 7th Guest.
Ahh, dreams.
July 26th, 2008 at 9:30 am
YAY! Finally, someone will sleep with me! Lex said no, and he got fired.
July 26th, 2008 at 6:45 am
Wallsy, I’ve got some news that may depress you. It actually IS possible to have sex with two bi chicks outside of a pRon shoot; and it’s just as fun as it sounds like it would be. However, as Res Ipsa pointed out earlier, “Bi” is the key word. Two lesbians won’t let you anywhere near them, and if one of them is butch you don’t want to even watch, I promise.
Swaim, I’m impressed. This was funny as shit. And the two girls I know who play Sims on a regular basis are frighteningly stereotypical young wannabe homemakers and not particularly into sex (other than for procreation). Yikes.
July 26th, 2008 at 4:35 am
I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on. I think my sinuses have been invaded by pink sparklies and as a result I’m having a very wickly cutesy seizure.
July 26th, 2008 at 4:16 am
I’m a girl that reads cracked all the time, and I LOVE kisses and glitter and unicorns!!!! And pink!!!!
But not androgynous men though, personally I’d rather have one macho man.
Also, kudos on bringing all the cracked girls out to post Swaim
X<3X<3X<3X<3X<3X<3
July 26th, 2008 at 2:31 am
do you honestly think the women who read cracked would be into unicorns and glitter gifs?
seriously dude. learn your demographic.
fail.
July 26th, 2008 at 2:21 am
Wally@:
I think that would indeed depend on the type you prefer.
Personally I don’t really fall for macho manly man, though not for completely girly guys either, more somewhere in between.
It all comes down to personal taste.
July 26th, 2008 at 2:20 am
I think it isn’t necessarily about fantasizing of participating.
Just imagine you have a picture of one naked woman, why not have one picture with two of them?
Same goes for naked man.
Double the eye candy.
July 26th, 2008 at 1:10 am
Why the two men should be androgynous though is a mystery to me. Unless that’s your type, of course. But if you like manful men then weuldn’t two manful men be better?
July 26th, 2008 at 1:10 am
And it’s not about imagining you could join in. It’s pr0n. You know you’re not involved (unless you’re some kind of loon), so it doesn’t matter whether the people involved would actually be interested in you (and let’s face it, they wouldn’t) because it’s fantasy.
July 26th, 2008 at 1:09 am
Anne’s husband’s explanation is entirely correct, and works both ways. You like looking at women, you’ll like looking at two women better than one woman and one man, and vice-versa. It’s pretty simple.
July 26th, 2008 at 1:07 am
Dammit, why did my comment not display? You’ll pay for this, Swaim.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I’m a gamer, love this site, and now I love it even more.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Thank you, he’ll be thrilled.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Alright Anne!!!!! Your husband for the win on that answer!!!!!!!!!
July 25th, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Wait a minute, since when is sex that lasts 15 seconds a WOMAN’s world?
Also, as a straight woman, I don’t get the appeal of two men making out. But hey, if that’s your thing, coolio.
When I asked my husband why straight men are so interested in lesbians, he explained it this way: you get twice as much of what you like, and don’t have to look at anything you don’t like. Makes perfect sense to me.
July 25th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
As a penis-disabled member of Cracked’s demographic I found the latter half of this blog post to be both alienating and upsetting.
July 25th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I think “Penis-Disabled” shall be assimilated into my permanent lexicon
July 25th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Long-time reader, first time commenter. Yes, I’m another female (in my twenties and from Australia, FYI) who gets bored at work. Thanks for the acknowledgement of the fairer sex, Swaim. For the record, I’m not much of a gamer. Own a DS (even girlier than the Wii I’m told) and the most violent game I play is Zelda. I also don’t see much appeal in two guys making out.
Well, love the site, guys. It always brightens my day. Unicorn kisses and glitter hugs!!!
July 25th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Swaim is obviously playing Mariokart on a modded PS3 with a wii emulator duh
July 25th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Come on Swaim! MarioKart isn’t on a PS3…. so unless we’re to assume that you and said buddy are playing MarioKart on a Nintendo which is resting atop a PS3 also owned by either you or said buddy, in which case that should have been made clear, then I think you should check your gaming systems a bit more closely.
July 25th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
# in52minutes Says:
July 25th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
why does everyone say that? all the men i know think its gay. some of the women too. luckily i have a few (most definitely straight) female friends who get the attraction.
Aren’t two guys makin’ out pretty much . . . well, gay? Both in the homosexual sense of the word and the happy sense (well, we hope)?
# Nicole Says:
July 25th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Have you ever even talked to a girl?
This may surprise you, but we have the same brain capacity as men.
I know. Shocker.
A) Who ever questioned the brain capacity of women? Or are you merely setting up a strawman with a previously unsaid and non-implied argument so you can knock it down?
B) Capacities may be the same, but men and women do think differently. Different areas of the brain are activated and such. If I hadn’t stopped studying psychology six years ago, I might be able to elucidate. (Or make any sense whatsoever.) As I am not, I’m sure Google would do a fine job. ^_^
in52minutes Says:
July 25th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
hahaha to the androgynous guys making out comment. i’ve never really gotten why more girls AREN’T into that. i mean, if guys can be into lesbians, wheres the harm with girls into gays? besides, it makes more sense for girls to want two men instead of vice versa. after all, one girl is going to be somewhat neglected in any traditional threesome…
Actually, I don’t think men are into lesbians. I think we’re into bisexual women who get it on, and then we fantasize about joining in. (I can only speak for myself and those I know, however, so don’t take this as the “male” position.) So the female equivalent would be two bisexual men getting it on, and a female joining in, would it not? *shrug*
Damn you, Swaim, did you just start an actual gender/sex discourse?
July 25th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
ah, well sorry about that. i am obviously defensive and thus jump to conclusions. that trait says absolutely nothing about my personality. btw.
July 25th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Actually I was talking about Swaim’s article. Who and what you are attracted to is your own business.
July 25th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
why does everyone say that? all the men i know think its gay. some of the women too. luckily i have a few (most definitely straight) female friends who get the attraction.
July 25th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Gaaayy.
July 25th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
ah, i see. well maybe what i should have said was that the comment was hilarious, and i see its appeal. i too, however, would not go for the androgynous man if i had a choice.
however, is it weird that i am strangely attracted to shane form the l word? i watch that show just for her. shes androgynous so maybe that counts in a way…
July 25th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Have you ever even talked to a girl?
This may surprise you, but we have the same brain capacity as men.
I know. Shocker.
July 25th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
The woman in the picture above can’t possibly be playing TFC2 as such a thing does not exist. Actually, I’m surprised that nobody has pointed that out yet.
July 25th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
It’s simply a matter of taste, I suppose. The androgyny is what fails to trip my trigger. I didn’t order the fish. I ordered the steak.
But hey, I’m not knockin’ spontaneous make-out sessions of any variety…
July 25th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
hahaha to the androgynous guys making out comment. i’ve never really gotten why more girls AREN’T into that. i mean, if guys can be into lesbians, wheres the harm with girls into gays? besides, it makes more sense for girls to want two men instead of vice versa. after all, one girl is going to be somewhat neglected in any traditional threesome…
not the point. hilarious ladies room. my friends think i’m ridiculous for enjoying this website, but now i can prove that theres something for everyone (they’re TOTALLY into glitter)!
July 25th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Give me Naked Snake…pun TOTALLY intended!
DP2000 I think you’re onto something with that. Blame mangas. However, 9 times outta 10, the guys in those look incredibly feminine. It’s like a twisted gateway drug for them.
Oh and David Tennant is cute with his scared woodland creature look about him.
July 25th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Nekkid Sonic? ummmm…. no. I like being able to see. And Wakka from FFX looks like a cockatiel furry. o.O I think i kind of threw up a little.
I’ll take any Gordon Freeman pics though. ^____^
Or MGS 1 Solid Snake. Not that girl Raiden.
Xp
July 25th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
I have a tendency to murder my Sims. Barbie suffered a similar fate. Little wonder then that GTA is my particular poison.
XOXO, boys!
July 25th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Agreed, CC - I don’t get that concept either; evolutionarily, I can understand the one guy, multiple women thing, but to me it feels like the multiple guy, one woman thing is a feminist counteraffect (yes, I meant that spelling) hatched from the manga based yaoi/bishounen influx.
Not that anything’s wrong with that, but I prefer my guys single, straight, and with max geekstats, personally…
*shrug*
(Dammit, David Tennant, get out of my head!)
July 25th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I’m a girl, and I still don’t understand why the rest of my kind seems to enjoy salivating over 2 guys salivating over each other. Did I miss that memo?
July 25th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I never got why girls would be into that. Guys are into lesbians because they secretly hope they have a chance to get involved (my theory, anyway)–is it the same way with girls?
July 25th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Actually it isn’t. Just go on youtube and you’ll see tons of Emo guys making out with each other. Not that I search for that kind of thing on youtube or anything. What?
July 25th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
ana Says:
July 25th, 2008 at 11:55 am
All you have to do to make it a ladies’ room is occasionally temper your rampant boobage with a few shots of hot, androgynous guys making out. It’s not that difficult, is it?
For the love of everything that’s holy, I hope it is. I hope it’s very, very difficult.
July 25th, 2008 at 11:55 am
All you have to do to make it a ladies’ room is occasionally temper your rampant boobage with a few shots of hot, androgynous guys making out. It’s not that difficult, is it?
However, the body glitter is a bonus.
July 25th, 2008 at 11:36 am
@Onodera… What in the hell are you talkin’ about?
July 25th, 2008 at 11:26 am
The only ting coor than this would be if Ashlee Simpson had a concert on my front lawn!!! OMG that would be sooooooooo cool! GRRRRL POWER!
July 25th, 2008 at 11:15 am
I for one am thrilled about the new ladies room! Can I bring my barbies????
July 25th, 2008 at 11:14 am
“X<3X<3X<3X<3X<3X<3″
Somewhere, a math teacher is having spasms.
July 25th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Say it ain’t so!!!!
July 25th, 2008 at 10:51 am
more unicorns please!!
July 25th, 2008 at 10:46 am
GLITTER BREAK!
bhaaaahahahahahahahahaha
July 25th, 2008 at 10:36 am
In my defense, I really like having sex with motorcycles.
July 25th, 2008 at 10:11 am
he actually only watches the WNBA
July 25th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Mario Kart isn’t on the PS3.
You fraud, I’ll bet you actually do know what an NBA is.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Thanks Swaim, you make it hard (or I do? That’s what she said?) for me to explain to my co-workers why I’m always snickering and look like I’m crying. I love it. Thanks for the glittery unicorn, and kisses right back.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Is this because of all the ladies commenting on DOB’s blog the other day? The redheaded ladies?
July 25th, 2008 at 9:27 am
You know, The Sims thing with women is because it’s a Virtual DollHouse. So yeah, we’ve been playing dolls like girls all along.
July 25th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Scotty Smalls
July 25th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Swaim looks like that kid from The Sandlot. Am I right??
July 25th, 2008 at 9:04 am
It’s really hard to masterbate in a studio apartment when you share it with 3 other guys.
July 25th, 2008 at 8:52 am
First?
I feel left out. Only half a post for me to read?