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Thou Shalt Not Do Stuff That Annoys Me: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

La Pequea Amy Winehouse

In case you haven't heard, the Catholic Church has announced that some new sins have been added to the list. No joke. If you are a practicing Catholic, you now have seven additional "social sins" to worry about: everything from polluting the environment to using birth control to "excessive wealth" now constitutes a "social sin" and will totally make you go to hell forever.

What does this mean to you? Probably not a whole lot (unless you were about to throw a used condom off the side of your yacht), but I think there are a few more that need to be tacked onto the list:

  • Eating fast food lunch items before 11:00 am
  • Driving on the shoulder of the highway if you're not in a life-or-death situation
  • Using a personal check to pay for something in public (sending one by mail is still ok)
  • Operating a cash-only business without having an ATM
  • Asking someone "whatcha readin?" when they are clearly reading SOMETHING
  • Casting a vote for an American Idol contestant without ironic intent
  • Dancing on YouTube if you're a Chilean tranny dwarf dressed up as Amy Winehouse
  • I'm sure there are plenty more that I'm forgetting... anyone have any ideas?

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    Ross Wolinsky

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