We saw some pretty inspired comedy and some pretty uninspired YouTube videos in the months since Ross began posting the Daily Nooner every day. This week Ross is in the mountains of Mexico, training for his new role as a Cracked columnist by drinking himself into a numb stupor. In his absence, we’ll be posting his five favorite Nooners counting down from five to one.
Dancing Pig
This abomination stars a “Dancing Pig” named Pot Belly Pete who talks like a Chipmunk, dances like Michael Jackson and bears absolutely no resemblence to a pig whatsoever. What kind of pig has wings and horns? I’ll tell you what kind: a GARGOYLE. But that raises another question: What kind of gargoyle dances around to “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” and talks like a Chipmunk?
I’ll tell you what kind: one that LOVES TO PARTY.
This video is plenty terrible, but what’s even worse to me is the fact that it’s been viewed over 220,000 times. That’s like every single person in Akron, Ohio watching it… although that doesn’t sound particularly impressive, I guess. How about Madison, Wisconsin? Does that sound better? How about this: That’s like every single person in Independence, Missouri watching it… TWICE.
A few years ago we threw off the shackles of corporate television. We called it “social media,” and then we smashed the Viacoms and Time Warners to bits. True, the internet has put the power of programming into the hands of viewers, but, sadly, this is what we’ve chosen to do with it. For shame, internet. For shame.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to throw my laptop out my window and watch Celebrity Rehab or something.
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August 18th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Speaking as a Madisonian, “HEY!”
Just kidding.
But yes, a lot of work probably went into that video. Not something to be trifled with.
May 20th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Is there an internationally dubbed version? I´ll do the translation for the French Version, and the Casnadian version.
French: “Ah, mais non! C´était un chapeau cher!”
Casnadian: “Fuck off, eh? That hat cost me the last of my fuckin´beer money, eh hoser?”
May 19th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Lame, rehashing nooners.
I nominate this guy for a nooner when Ross returns.
http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?user=NathanDickens&p=v
Lord Of THe Rings. Pure Class.
May 19th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Cool. At least you’re not rude, other Jonathan. From here on out I’ll just refer to myself as J-Papi to make things easier.
May 19th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Ah, what a classic. I feel young again!
May 19th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I agree with my real counterpart. Looks like “Hellboy” to me, at least from the neck up.
May 19th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
That “pig” looked more like Ron Pearlman in “Hellboy” to me, at least from the neck up. I.E., he’s one ugly sumbitch.
May 19th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
That -is- an expensive hat.
February 13th, 2008 at 2:51 am
Tony, stop smiling, you smug bastard!
February 9th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
to juggadore: the fact the video may have taken 200 hours to make makes it so much worse.
February 9th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
^sadi ransom-polizzotti
You’re so modest. “Girl being tied up” is ten times worse than this pig/dragon/whatever.
February 8th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
pretty awful, almost on a par with “Girl being tied up” (if you haven’t seen it, talk about bad acting….
quel stupide!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBV2adEfDjk
February 8th, 2008 at 8:14 am
It may be impressive, but it’s still annoying.
The issue here is everyone will hear it a million times over, thanks to the demographic.
February 8th, 2008 at 4:08 am
@ Captain Ross : no i didn’t create this, but being a professional 3d artist myself, i’m quick to stand for any of us, that’s just why
February 8th, 2008 at 12:39 am
um that video is extremely difficult to make. it must have taken at least 200 hours. i am an animator (i try to be) and that video was impressive. he could have worked on the body and made it look more like a pig. it was probably a final project for a class and surely got an A. not bad. if you guys think you can make a better cgi video using maya or 3d max– building the model, fixing up the lighting, making all body parts look smooth, have it move fluidly, make the physics and gravity work right, and throw in a joke (albeit a bad one), then go ahead. we’ll see how it turns out.
February 7th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Daniel I think that might have been the funniest comment I’ve ever read
February 7th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Are you guys kidding?
“That’s an expensive hat!”
Was no one else crying of laughter when they heard that line?
February 7th, 2008 at 7:42 am
Tony, come clean, you made this video didn’t you?
February 7th, 2008 at 7:38 am
Wow in case you didn’t notice, that guy didn’t post his stuff in the ” New heights of comedy ” section, he’s just showcasing his ability to model/rigg/animate a 3d character….
Worst video ever ? 3d animations don’t just spawn out of nowhere, it takes some hard work to create some, so leave the maker of this vid alone and stick to being so full of ” humor ” on BBs
February 6th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Doesn’t Akron have better things to do than watch pig-things complain about the price of haberdashery? You’d think that a fine, upstanding middle America metropolis like Akron would be more collectively concerned about this huge Spice Girls brouhaha forming like a typhoon over Australia.
On the other hand, being a former resident of Independence, Missouri, I can practically guarantee that there aren’t enough people there that can afford the broadband connections necessary to view this dancing…pig?…in all it’s poorly-animated splendor. You’re probably thinking of Mission, Kansas, or perhaps Cedar Rapids, Iowa.
February 6th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I, for one, am completely offended by the fact that the guy who created this put “that’s an expensive hat” into the video thinking that it was funny. It was about as funny as an entire episode of “The View”
Fuck those bitches
February 6th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Why is it the crappy videos get all the attention?
February 6th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
I wonder if cough syrup was somehow involved in the creation of that video.
February 6th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Who the fuck called that thing a goddamn pig? That ain’t no fucking pig. It looks kind of pig like but no more than that guy in the blue shirt jacking off with the beretta does.
You should have linked to the blue dancing bear so people could see what a real dancing cartoon animal should look like.
February 6th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
I 2nd Gladstone’s nomination.
We should inform Snorg Tees about this radical movement.
February 6th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Worst Youtube Video Ever! Well, my soon-to-be-released vide of me watching paint dry begs to differ!!!!
February 6th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
I usually see the humour in almost anything, but that was truly terrifying.
February 6th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
An expensive hat? What gives?
February 6th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Yes. This is officially the worst YouTube video of all time. I have a complex formula I plugged it into. This is NOT an opinion - I have mathematical proof.
I’d paste it here but I don’t want anyone to steal my formula.
February 6th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
The Worst YouTube Video Of All Time? Really? :/
February 6th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I nominate “that’s an expensive hat” to replace “I love lamp” in all Cracked comments.
February 6th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Is it just me or did it sound like “Oh man, that’s an expensive hat” was delivered like the next big catchphrase? Like someone’s really trying to push “Oh man, that’s an expensive hat” into the American Pop Culture lexicon.
Well, I gotta tell you, it’s worked on me. I’ve already started commenting on the over-pricey-ness of hats whenever someone in my life does anything remotely embarrassing.
February 6th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Meh… I expect better.