The rap parody song has a long and storied history. Like the Jesus or Hitler sketch, it is often a dangerous road to travel down. You’re instantly inviting comparisons between your work and that of the greatest comedians of the age. Do I really think our little comedy rap is on par with the likes of Boba the Fett, White and Nerdy, or Gin & Juice (the Gourds version)?
All I can say, humbly, is yes, it’s far better than all of those combined*. Enjoy! [Warning: lyrics may be NSFW]
If they are desired, the lyrics can be found in the video description here. You can also download the song here, if you’re the kind of person who makes parody songs a part of their regular listening retinue. I’ll admit, I occasionally rock me some “Eat It” at the gym. Nothing gets me pumped like Weird Al’s slammin’ vocals.
*But only if you’re really into Star Trek: The Next Generation.
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael neuters Tribbles as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren’t Muskets!
Last 5 posts by Michael Swaim
- If You Wanna Make An Omelette, You Gotta Let Some Kids Get Molested - November 13th, 2008
- CNN Ushers In Era Of Incisive Reportage With New Holograms - November 12th, 2008
- The 7 Deadly Sins of Online Gaming - November 7th, 2008
- If McCain's Concession Speech Was As Bitter As His Campaign - November 6th, 2008
- Class War! A Handy Guide - October 30th, 2008
June 12th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I am a single sexy big beauty and I downloaded the video @@PlusMeet.c o m___, where big boob women, big booty women and big manful guys meet and seek fun&roamnce together! Hope you can have fun there!
June 11th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Yeah, kingnookie-1, you’re probably right. Of course if they were playing AD&D, first edtion, I would be all for that.
June 11th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Plus, glenmoor47, you would have just ended up playing Dungeons and Dragons all evening. Since you’re not into that sort of thing, it would be less fun for you.
June 11th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Glendoor…I am only a casual ST fan. Please let me have my fantasies.
June 10th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Well I’m sorry to say that Tiggy and I have a history too. Tiggy owes me about $12,000 in gambling debts.
June 10th, 2008 at 10:43 am
George Clooney was a no show! But Tiggy the wonder dog was there.
June 10th, 2008 at 8:47 am
I appreciate that Mike’s Mom, I really do, but George Clooney and I really don’t get along and I would have hated to spoil Mike’s party with the bad blood between George and I.
Thanks though.
June 10th, 2008 at 8:26 am
Glendoor 42, if I knew where to send the invite, you would have been at Mike’s birthday party.
June 10th, 2008 at 6:38 am
@ Purplestar, I said in an earlier comment hooking up with Worf is a bad idea. Every women he’s hooked up with is dead.
June 9th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Very funny! I love the line about Riker being “Number 1″ at busting pussy.
Hmmm, Maybe he can take care of sexybigbeauty for once and for all. Although, I’d describe Worf as “big manful guy” more than anyone else. He’s MINE!!!
June 9th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
nobody wants you sexybigbeauty!!!!
June 9th, 2008 at 11:29 am
I am a single sexy big beauty and I download the video @ PlusMeet.c o m___, where big boob women, big booty women and big manful guys meet and seek fun*roamnce together! Hope you can hook up with me there!
June 8th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
i used to have a thing for troy, but then I replaced her with 7 of 9 from Voyager. Gahh…
BTW swaim, I love you oh so much for this.
June 8th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
I laughed, I cried, I loved.
June 8th, 2008 at 1:47 am
Great job!
June 7th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
micheal, not to sound sappy, but your work is so good it makes me forget about my urinary tract infection.
June 7th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Happy Harrowing-Escape-From-Coochie-Prison Day, Swaim. Did you wear that hat as you danced and rapped your way out of your uterine waystation?
June 7th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Happy birthday Swaim
June 7th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Never mind; just did. I wonder if there’s anything else I can fuck up today.
June 7th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
I didn’t know it had been fixed; I had trained myself to go there and hit pause the instant I clicked on. Now, once again, I feel like a dumbass. Also, I still can’t find the lyrics.
June 7th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Oh, yeah, Happy Birthday Swaim!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 7th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Who ever fixed the issue with the incredibly funny video playing constantly, thank you.
June 7th, 2008 at 4:44 am
I would marry Swaim, if I were a woman. Or gay. But not if I were a gay woman, then I’d marry one of those sexy ladies in the video.
I’m so lonely.
June 7th, 2008 at 1:08 am
I also saw many big boob dancing videos, big booty dancing videos @@PlusMeet.c o m___, where many sexy big beauties and big handsome guys mingle and seek fun&love together! You will not be disappointed!
June 6th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
this is even catchier than ‘can I smell yo’ dick’.
June 6th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Seriously? There?
June 6th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
I have viewed many sexy and hot videos and photos at a celebrities singles dating club———- Mixedmingle.com——— where many fans and stars can chat together. And there are many black and white singles who are seeking for ideal match seriously there.
June 6th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
@DrAlbertOxford
I was just about to bring that up. I too have greatly enjoyed the song and video and I even get my sound through headphones so it’s not that intrusive if I’m not wearing them, but I’ll be reading along and all of the sudden I start hearing voices and I go “Yes Lord what is that you want me to do?” and the next thing you know I’m building a fucking ark in the backyard and then I go back to the computer to check the plans for the ark that I spent all day drawing up and realize it was just the the Star Trek P.U.S.S.Y song playing and I feel right stupid.
So Cracked tech person could you fix this before I am told to sacrifice my first born son or lead my people out of bondage or some shit.
June 6th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
I showed this to some friends last night, and it was well-received by all. Conversation at the end went something like this:
Friend 1: “When did this come out?”
Me: “Just today, I think.”
Friend 2: “Who made it?”
Friend 3: “Geniuses.”
Nice work!
June 6th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
I also like the song very much, in only got one problem, has it got to start playing everytime you open the blog? I think it would be better if you had to klick play before it starts playing, i found it rather distracting when I wanted to read the new Blog entry and it suddenly started playing.
June 6th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Still, you have a very stylish helmet with that cool, sequined chinguard!
June 6th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Sweet! My parent’s will be so proud that I’m only half a retard. Though I’m sure they’re still gonna make me wear the helmet everywhere I go.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
“Will Ferrell, when the cowbell rang”.
June 5th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
No, we just added it. You’re only half retarded. YAAAAAY!
June 5th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Swaim,
As I mentioned in the comment on the blog, I’m at least half retarded. So that explains my inability to see the link that specifically states that you can click “here” to download the song. Though I could have sword It wasn’t there before. But then again, I’m at least 1/2, maybe 3/4s retarded.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Oops, just read part of the homepage looking for lyrics…didn’t realize those were actual girlfriends. No insult to them intended; original insult was intended toward y’all as an insinuation they wouldn’t hang out with you in real life. Now I’m impressed and will just shut the fuck up. Carry on.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
That was fucking funny. I showed that to my 70 year old dad who’s a TNG fan (used to use the show as a teaching aide for Jungian Psychology) and though he didn’t get all the lyrics some scotch almost came up through his nose a couple of times. Good stuff. Who were the two dancing chicks? Don’t tell me Cracked writers get real live chicks with boobs and no acne for free; how much did they cost?
June 5th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Download on the Muskets! blog should be working. You don’t need Quiktime pro, just the player plug-in…not even that I think. We added a direct link at the end of the post, so just right-click it and save link as.
June 5th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
I so agree with all of this! I think I saw him on http://www.spamcommentmingle.com!
June 5th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
@fragg: I thought this was one of the better videos.
@fragg: Don’t bug fragg, he’s a troll. He just sits home alone and cries all day and doesn’t have a girlfriend. Don’t worry about him.
June 5th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
@fragg: These writers and video makers work hard to make you laugh. And you pay nothing! If you don’t like it, go somewhere else and leave our comment section alone!
June 5th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Man, this video sucked! I mean all the TAM videos are mediocre, but this one really sucked! Bring more Lex and Gladstone videos!
June 5th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I think I saw this episode!
June 5th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
I got the same problem as Nate. I want that shit available on my Zune at all times. Truly fucking beautiful, Swaim. Pretty much everyone else on my deskside team thought so too.
June 5th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
meh
June 5th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I can’t get the MP3 to download. It just has it in a player at the bottom.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Hide and Q, actually.
JT, “kick around my junk” is the best phrase ever. Please tell me it’s yours.
June 5th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Swaim you have outdone yourself. I have made several realizations from this video:
1. Females in Star Fleet uniforms are hot.
2. Michael Swaim in a parka hood (?) and tank top is hot.
3. The name Those Aren’t Musket was from a TNG episode? Was that Deja Q or Q Who?
June 5th, 2008 at 11:08 am
What the…? I didn’t realize I was surrounded by nerds.
Forget you losers, I’m going to hang out with some cool kids… like my LARPing group.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:39 am
As I stated last night on your Blog Mr. Swaim, they played this video on Attack Of The Show yesterday as their #3 video. I laughed, I cried, I tried to like Olivia Munn’s boobs on the TV screen (which caused my in-laws to leave in disgust)
June 5th, 2008 at 10:39 am
Wow, That was great!
June 5th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Hell, that must’ve taken many years and dead slaves to write.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Man, I was smiling through the whole shit. And that says a lot. ‘Tis some funny shit right ‘ere
June 5th, 2008 at 9:44 am
Captain’s log… too busy snickering to comment further. Just beautiful, man.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:24 am
Swaim, you bring joy and happiness to the world with stuff like this.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:03 am
I totally Grok this video.
June 5th, 2008 at 8:47 am
awesome
June 5th, 2008 at 8:05 am
Now that’s an expensive hat Swaim. It seems to me that if you hook up with Worf you end up dead. Alexanders Mom, Troi in an alternate future, Jadzia Dax.