I’ve take issue with American Apparel advertising before (particularly their penchant for selling me clothes by showing pictures of women wearing no clothes whatsoever in the grainy light of an early 70’s snuff film), and, as predicted, legendary film director Woody Allen is joining the Swaim-train by suing them for running a billboard featuring a picture of him without his permission. You know, now that I made it all cool to hate on them.
9.
American Apparel has been forced to take the billboard down and publicly apologize, and while I still think they’re a load of perverts, it’d be a shame for their series of nine Woody-related ads to go almost totally unseen by the world. Thus:
8.
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1.
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael influences Woody Allen as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren’t Muskets!
Last 5 posts by Michael Swaim
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June 16th, 2008 at 12:25 am
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April 7th, 2008 at 8:02 am
benihana, you know how many white males have been vilified in the US? Like every one of them, almost. Maybe you haven’t heard of some of the US’s least favourite white sons: George W. Bush, George Bush, David Duke, Mark David Chapman, J. Edgar Hoover, Walt Disney, John Wayne Gacy, Ed Gein, Michael Bay, Justin Timberlake, Michael Jackson, Tammy Fay Bakker…
April 6th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
From AA’s response: “Although we generally use our two billboards…for commercial purposes, we also use them as vehicle for non-commercial social and political commentary.”
Right. That’s why they have the AA name/logo at the bottom. Just because it’s not advertising a specific product doesn’t mean it’s not an advertisement, you pretentious liars.
April 6th, 2008 at 5:07 am
@benihana lol wut?
April 5th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
No.
April 5th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
How about the ad where that dirty old sleaze is applying for a job of principal at an all-girl middle school?!! Oh that’s RIGHT!! It’s a forbidden ’sacrilege’ to vilify white males in america particularly celebrities no matter HOW sleazy,perverted,disgusting,despicable,nasty,drug-addled,lowlife,low-class,etc. And apparently the racist,hypocrite,full of shit media fuckwads have been given a ‘birthright’ to determine who is or isn’t guilty,innocent or ANY fucking thing right,right shitholes?!!
April 5th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Don’t forget their moose and beavers( not the good kind ).
April 5th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Pfft, you always win, what with your plentiful land and milk and honey and whatnot.
And your vast, neverending fields of hockey players.
April 4th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
We won!
April 4th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
No, South Park the other night said Casnadian were on strike. I haven’t watch the end, so I don’t know how it turned out.
April 4th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
No, no, you’re thinking of emos. What I was doing up there was trying to dominate Swaim so that I could abuse him later and still have him come back to me.
Which, now that I’ve revealed my plan aloud like a comic book villain, may not work out so well.
Michael, I command you to ignore those last two sentences! Remember, I’m the only one who’s looking out for you. Everyone else will hate you and treat you like dirt.
April 4th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Is it any surprise Swaim that the cracked readership does not include masses of Woody Allen fans, maybe his early funny stuff, but you know….
@kingmonkey+1, I thought you people were on strike?
April 4th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Oh, Michael. We haven’t abandoned you. Well, maybe some people have abandoned you, but you’re better off without them. Don’t you see that I’m the only one who loves you? All you need is me, you understand me?
April 4th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Yeah, apparently most people agree with you.
April 3rd, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I prefered your first blog on american apparel *suggestive wink*
April 3rd, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Number 2 would be the best ad EVER.