The Kucinich Conspiracy (And Other Alt-Rock Band Names)
I just logged on to Google News to retrieve the article I was planning on blogging about today concerning Dennis Kucinich's court victory and triumphant admission to Tuesday's Nevada Democratic debates. Simultaneously, I was searching Youtube for video of the debate to somehow mock (attention ladies: a man who can multi-task AND ridicule. The perfect father?).
I was surprised to find that there WERE no videos of the debate featuring Kucinich, and even more SHOCKEDokay, kind of pissed at this pointto find out that a mere hour before the debate, a Nevada Supreme Court ruling had overturned the initial decision and barred Kucinich from appearing.
Now whether you're a fan of the man or not (I am, and you can savage me in the comments section if you feel so inclined), you've got to admit what's going on here is pretty fucking outrageous. The whole point of general elections, at least in spirit, is to maximize the choices given the public. We've already got our choices limited by certain Constitutional requirements:
In fact, it's statistically true that in the history of the U.S., there is a more than 50% chance that the taller of the two final candidates will win. So, A) Kucinich is out, B) Tom Cruise is out and C) Start betting your friends.
So why get so pissed about this Kucinich thing, when our rights are trampled daily? Why does this one get to me? Because it's so goddamned transparent. MSNBC holds a debate, and invites the top four Democratic contenders. Biden drops out, so Kucinich assumes he's in (being fifth). Then they say Oh, damn, you know what? We only wanted the top three contenders.
Way to stick it to the short guy, you bastards. You're a goddamned TV network; stop trying to make our decisions for us! I mean, aside from what we watch, buy, and what morals we teach our children. Just because you would've had to cut his podium down three feet doesn't give you the right to ostracize him!
If I were given to fits of paranoia, I'd imagine that Kucinich's exclusion from debates by NBC (owned by GE), ABC, and the AARP are attempts to silence him for his failure to capitulate to pressure from special interest groups. Luckily I'm not, so I'll leave saying that to Kucinich.
Finally, I thought this columnist summed things up well. This whole thing makes me so angry I almost want to do something about it.
Besides blogging for CRACKED, Michael also makes angry videos as head writer and co-founder of Those Arent Muskets!
Stupid motherfuckers! More than 50% percent means that at least 50.01% of the time and probably a lot more than that, the taller guy wins! For fuck's sake learn to read.
ReplyWait, so you mean to tell me that the taller candidate has statistically won HALF O' THE TIME? Holy shit! That's like saying the shorter candidate won the other half of the time! This is a dangerous trend in society where, empirically, one half of 2 possibilities wins one half of the time.
ReplyHe said "over" fifty percent. For some reason, it took me several reads for my brain to latch onto that, though.
Talk about an idiot. The writer.
ReplyHopefully he is not so stupid as to believe the things he would like you to believe.
You might as well claim smurfs control the global ecomony.
Just as true.
Look at the date this was posted idiots (to the people who tried to point out Obama like Swaim doesn't know. Swaim knows EVERYTHING. It's a scientific fact.
ReplyWhat really gets me is that he seems to open up the field by saying "he must be of the three major religions." The sad fact is that every president the US had, up until Barrack Obama, was white, male, and (at least ostensibly) Christian. Three major religions? Pfft. We didn't even elect a catholic president until 1960, and people honestly thought the pope would be calling the shots. Sad but true - presidents will be all kinds of genders and colors before a Muslim is elected.
ReplyObama was ehhhh african american and one of the runner up was a women and another runner up of mexican hahaha this stuff is more wronge than wronge :3
Replyand who the fu~~ cares about his wife... these jackasses are exactly what I'm talking about... save that junk for your late night adventures geez
Replyhahaha man you rock... i dont really agree or disagree with said persons and or political beliefs... but your fighting the good fight my friend... keep us all honest; more americans should see through the smoke and mirriors
ReplyLooks like you may have to change at least #3 of your Presidential requirements, peckerwood. Way to call the ball. You must be psychic.
ReplyNo kucinich fan but his wife is fucking hot
ReplyEnjoyed the article; I, too, am a fan of Kucinich and am indeed outraged by the way that he's been treated. Glad to see that someone at least knows the guy's name, and furthermore who he is.
ReplyOf course, there is only one thing we can do now: follow in the footsteps of the rest of America and blame the president.
Very nice. Thanks for this.
ReplyHe may be a socialist leprechaun, but Kucinich's wife is a babe.
ReplyGreat quality stuff.
ReplyUnfortunately, smart people are not often charismatic people. And even more often swindlers and narcissists ARE charismatic. I'm not saying obama was a swindler or a narcissist (I am saying McCain was both) but I am saying that if ever there was a perfect candidate to run, someone who has the potential and the will to do the right thing, I'm 99 percent sure that person would lose.
ReplyThat's not to say smart people can't be charismatic, but out of the percentage of them that are, how many of them are at all politically minded? Then take that percentage and take out the uggos (not a chance in hell, sorry guys)
and your left with a grand total of two people... who are likely canadian mounties, a la Paul Gross.
I hate Dennis Kucinich, but not for any political reasons ( yes, I'm a libertarian, but Kucinich is harmless). I hate kucinich because, despite the fact that I'm tall, athletic, pretty damn good looking ( if I do say so myself) and also one hell of a smooth talker, his wife is much, much hotter than any girl I've ever hooked up with.
ReplyWorse, she's 31 and she's still much hotter than any girl my age I've hooked up with. He's a lemming, she's a statuesque, 6 foot tall redhead ( I have kind of a redhead fetish, so double fuck-you Dennis) with a tongue piercing which, I dont doubt, she knows how to use very well.
Fuck you kucinich, fuck you
first of all are you well known?? i don't think so. do you have ANY sort of political influence?? even LESS likely and thirdly you didn't state the actual reason why you hate him giving you no real reason to hate him in the first place other then his wife being supposedly hot... she looks like a f**king troll btw, if that's better then anything you've ever done then you need to get the f**k out more... now i've never even heard of this guy up until 10 minutes ago but i bet more people would like him then an egocentric, narcissistic, obtuse, ass-hat like you
Is it a good time to be doing this with the state of the economy?
ReplyCan you provide more details on this?
Replypffft.
Replypolitics. government.
since its creation thousands of years ago its been a perfect veicle to mind control the masses.
similar to organized religion.
tricking the populace into believe they have a choice and say while actually catering to the richest, most powerful and best con artists.
but hey, we as the general public are too stupid to think for ourselves, and we are too selfish to make a community effort to work together for the betterment of all so we need masters to lead us by the nose.
again similar to organized religion telling us we lack the sense to not do evil things to others.
yet, because of the disparity of resources of which government management is a factor, the general public ends up still acting in ways that the original purpose of governent was supposed to prevent.
if i were the psychological/religious/socially accepted equivalent of a sane and normal person, then maybe i would not see the current conditions as laughable.
but if one accepts a master then one is subject to the masters whims.
the minorities in this country who were slaves in a stronger sense(chinese railroad workers, japanese pow's in the camps, holocaust survivors, caucasian indentured servants, african slaves, native americans(who were mainly killed off) etc...) just overshadowed the fact that if you were a citizen and not one of those who had power to influence lawmaking, then you were and are a slave.
the president is a figurehead at best who does what he is allowed by those truly in power.
some people say conspiracy is a 'theory'.
but one need only to observe high school 'cliques', college 'fraternities/sororities', and adult 'organizations/cliques/social groups' to see that the elititst phenomena is very prevalent in the life of average americans.
pffft... the movie the day the earth stood still is out now.. might be a good idea for aliens to wipe humans off the face of the earth.
the ones of us who are fighting for true freedom and change... cant seem to get people to see the truth, and we suffer because of it.
"He must be white", well I guess that doesn't apply anymore.
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