The Top 5 Nooners: #2 The Greatest Video I Have Ever Seen In My Entire Life
This week, while Ross is in the mountains of Mexico training for his new role as a Cracked columnist, we're counting down our favorite Nooners from five to one. And while number one is our favorite for sentimental reasons, this may be the greatest video Ross ever commented on. Awesome Video Of The DayDancing Man Wearing A Horse Mask Cooks Wild Mushrooms (Probably NSFW)
This is the greatest video that I have ever seen in my entire life.
Hang on a second. I have to go get a mop - my head just exploded.
Yes - it's a video of a mostly-naked Japanese man picking and cooking wild mushrooms. Yes - he's wearing a horse mask and dancing. Why? That I couldn't tell you. People do all kinds of weird stuff, I guess. When I cook wild mushrooms that I've hand-picked from the forests of Japan, I like to hum along to popular radio hits and make little farty noises with my mouth. Does that make ME a freak?! So I like to hum and make little farty noises. Big deal. We've all got our quirks - this guy's just so happens to be that he likes to dance around naked in a horse mask while cooking potentially deadly wild mushrooms. Judge not lest ye be judged.
Okay, I'll admit it - this video is completely fucking bizarre and makes me more than a little uncomfortable, but you know what? This guy is PUMPED to be cooking those mushrooms. He looks like he's having the time of his life! Maybe it's the expression on the horse mask faking me out... or maybe this guy is on to something. Maybe dancing around naked in a horse mask and cooking wild mushrooms is AWESOME.
Only one way to find out, I guess. Anyone got a horse mask I can borrow?
I love betting on horses. It allows me to put a wager on horses from the comfort of my own home. Don't get me wrong, I also love going to the race tracks to get the all-around experience. Forutunately for me I've had good lucky recently and I cashed in on "Mine That Bird" during last years Kentucky Derby.
ReplyIs it ok to tweet this article?
Reply@FollicleMan, your 3:58 post made my day. Kudos to you, sir.
ReplyAnd why the fuck isn't there an English translation to this? I can do the whole horse-head/gas mask thong/picking mushroom/dance like a freak thing, but once I get in the kitchen without a recipe I can read the shrooms might not come out right.
As for Rachel Ray, I'd fuck her all day long if her vocal chords were removed. Maybe that was one of the steps I couldn't read.
This should have been number 1.
Reply[...] for me to say “I’ve come to love constantly scouring the internet for videos of naked Japanese men in horse masks cooking mushrooms,” let’s face the facts: writing Nooners is a great way to pay off a gambling debt to [...]
Reply[...] sunglasses and jumping into pants get all the internet fame while more deserving characters (like the naked Japanese guy cooking mushrooms) fall by the wayside? I’m going to take a guess: It’s because people are more likely to [...]
ReplyDoes no one else see this for the subtle adaptation of Midsummer Night's Dream that it truly is?
Replythen I guess I don't either. Play on !
ReplyIf a gas mask is not an appropriate cup, then I don't want to know what is.
ReplyMr. THE Guy: "...It kinda makes me think a little differently about all the hours I’ve spent playing Final Fantasy games."
ReplyI think you're OK as long as you weren't using a gas mask as an athletic cup while playing.
You forget, lbh, that most people that come to this site have way too much time on thier hands and will check back at old posts. Good bit of information too and a bit scary. It kinda makes me think a little differently about all the hours I've spent playing Final Fantasy games.
ReplyRCC: I babel-fished the title of that other video on the link you provided. Title translates to "Hyposulfite - Shaun it tried making." naturally I just had to Google "Hyposulfite", which (according to Wikipedia) turns out is "also a synonym for the thiosulfate ion". Ok, so now I link to that, which leads to the link- "Thiosulfate ion General Chemistry Online, Frostburg State University". It's on this site that they state..."Thiosulfate is an antidote for cyanide poisoning. ..."
ReplyI guess the point of my comment (besides proving I have way too much time on my hands) is this... If there is some sub-culture in Japan based on Final Fanatsy potion making that is inspiring it's followers to ingest homemade poisons and antidotes then Al-Qaeda is looking a little less scary to me right now. Just saying...
Of course, what with responding to this post so late, no one will probably even read this.
In Japan they legally sell "shrooms"
ReplyI'd watch Rachel Ray cook mushrooms with nothing but a thong on, Hell Yeah!!!
ReplyIt is DEFINITELY the end battle music to Kefka, after you destroy the statues and he descends from the heavens like a winged, vengeful god.
ReplyAlso, Wild_Marker, if Rachel Ray or some other mainstream person tried this, American society would shame her into oblivion.
Unless she skipped the horsehead an only wore the thong....
Isn't that the end battle music, not "Kefka's theme"? you know, that sort of goofy sounding song that plays every time Kefka is around, and somehow manages to sound both goofy and fucking evil a few moments in...
ReplyNot trying to be a nitpick, just wondering... Also I'm not a Japan freak, I fucking hate anime and I think FF VI is the only FF worth playing.
This is what I like about the internet. You think you're jaded. I've seen it all, you say. Then the internet replies, fuck you, you haven't seen this before, and poof, naked, horse-head man cooks wild mushrooms while dancing.
ReplyDe-jading, that's what this is.
I can see where you're coming from Gladstone, but I think the MIDI format and the fact the he's is a weird Japanese guy would make sense that the guy would be playing Kefka's theme. And, anyone that's played the game knows Kefka was a weird mother fucker too.
ReplyIs it possible? that it makes sense if you can read the japanese? I'm thinking 'no' but maybe.
ReplyThe mushroom he picks in the woods appears to be a species of Amanita, close to pantherina. This fungus would be fairly poisonous, although not deadly. Boiling it in water, if that is what he did, would detoxify it (probably). The intoxicating property's would also be removed, leaving behind an insipid tasting mushroom. (I won't tell you how I know this). None of this makes sense, especially since he didn't remove the dirt from the base of the mushroom before cooking it and eating it We need a translator.
Reply