Awesome Video Of The Day
Fuck Guitar Hero
There was a time in the not-so-distant past when you and your friends had to learn how to play instruments and start a band if you wanted to rock out. These days we’ve got these so-called “rhythm games” instead, but there are some problems with them that people are starting to get fed up with. For example, don’t you kind of hate it how Guitar Hero and Rock Band pay REALLY close attention to what keys you’re pressing and when you’re pressing them? Aren’t you sick of how they give you incredibly precise & accurate scores based on your performance? Don’t you kind of wish you could have the playing-a-fake-guitar experience without actually having to learn how to play a fake guitar? I’ve heard the collective sigh of bored gamers, and, believe me, it’s not a pretty sound.
Can you describe a sound as “sweaty”? It sounds sweaty and asthmatic.
Thank God CES is this week, where Jada Toys has unveiled their new Air Guitar Rocker™. Created by a guy named “Nitrous Roxide,” the Air Guitar Rocker™ consists of a hip-mounted speaker and some sort of magnetized pick that lets you rock out to ten (count them - TEN) different riffs, eliminating the need for a guitar, a video game console, or any sort of regular social contact with other human beings. Because c’mon - who wants to play mind-bogglingly fun multiplayer video games when you can sit in your bedroom all alone with a little amp strapped to your hip, strumming “You Really Got Me” over and over again, weeping softly and cursing your cheap bastard parents for not buying you an Xbox 360.
Wildcard!
Let’s Start A Farm!
So Yasgur’s Farm, site of the original Woodstock Festival, is currently for sale for the low, low price of $8,000,000. That’s a pretty big chunk of change, but if we can get enough people together to chip in, I think I have an idea that could make us all rich.
First we’ll need to round up a bunch of hippies and have them fill out questionnaires. Are you a white person with dreadlocks? Do you have any psychedelic tapestries hanging in your home? Are you wearing patchwork corduroy pants right now? Are you currently (or have you ever been) really good at playing with devil sticks? If they answer yes to any of those questions, they get loaded onto a boxcar and sent off to live and work on a real-life farm! How fun!
There would probably be a lot of hippies to house there, but we’d find a way to make it work - maybe we could build cramped, barracks-style housing and cram them in 15 or 20 to a room. The housing wouldn’t matter much, anyway, as they’d be spending most of their time toiling out in the fields - just like real farmers!
Living off the land would teach them all about the cycling of the seasons: planting in spring, harvesting in fall, hoping to grow enough food to last them through the winter. But most importantly, it would teach them how difficult it is to run an agriculturally sustainable farm without any farming experience whatsoever! They would probably take heavy casualties those first few winters, and the survivors would probably turn weak and emaciated, and that all sounds horrible, but get this: that’s when we all start getting rich.
As time goes on, we can watch their tie dyes become soiled and threadbare. Some will collapse during drum circles, too weak too go on, while others - the smart ones - will avoid such activities to preserve precious calories. Then they’ll start dropping like flies, either from malnutrition, overworking, or brutal hippie-on-hippie violence, scrabbling for the few remaining bandanas and bong hits.
Nobody will know who who’s going to go next, and do you know what that sounds like to me? Human drama! Cold & hungry hippies struggling to survive on the land that once held the greatest hippie lovefest of all time? Are you kidding me?! Who WOULDN’T want to watch that? Do you see where I’m going with this yet? Do I have to spell it out for you?
I’m talking about the greatest reality television show of all time. Are you reading this, FOX?
Last 5 posts by Ross Wolinsky
- 8 Things Modern Vampires Could Learn From ’The Lost Boys’ - December 3rd, 2008
- The 5 Lamest Forwarded Emails (And Why Your Mom Loves Them) - November 19th, 2008
- The 5 Biggest News Stories You Missed During Election Season - November 6th, 2008
- "I Have Brain Cancer": 6 Amazing Non-Sex Scenes from Porn - October 21st, 2008
- 15 (Worthless) Things We Learned from the Town Hall Debate - October 8th, 2008
June 8th, 2008 at 9:36 am
[...] 10th 2008 5:00pm [-] From: cracked.com [...]
May 23rd, 2008 at 5:45 am
I play Guitar Hero 3 and I’m not afraid to say that I’m awesome. I play on Expert and have mastered to get 5 stars on the Dragonforce song on Hard. Call me a jumped up nerd bitch or whatever, but I’ve been playing real guitar for 8 years, self taught acoustic and electric. I also have a fantastic pair of tits and a great ass in my favour. Guitar hero rocks, and that’s that
May 5th, 2008 at 8:22 am
beginner electric guitars…
Madonna quickie pushes ‘Hard Candy’New York Daily News, NY- 20 minutes agoAs if to thumb her nose at those who questioned her entry into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last month, Madonna then appeared with an electric guitar and……
March 24th, 2008 at 1:40 am
i play both real guitar and GH III. GHIII is more used to show off to friends and used at parties, while real guitar is used to flirt, both have their uses, and both are fun, expect that real guitar leaves me with a numb left hand.
gh is only a game, what sucks is that there are songs that make yu play parts that arent even guitar parts, ruining the whole “guitar hero” thing
has anyone thought of a rock band, but this time, it has a keyboard? it would kick some ass…. expect maybe it’ll be just an empty shell with five buttons… who knows? they even made an ugly looking GH for the ds… i wish i could get it, but i have ds phat, so it wont fit my ds…
February 1st, 2008 at 6:26 pm
http youtube ru…
I think you are most probably right….
February 1st, 2008 at 4:56 pm
http film ru…
oh, good times….
January 29th, 2008 at 12:50 am
64 bit windows vista advantages…
…
January 18th, 2008 at 7:12 am
To Nick:
You are so cool, dont let these idiots get you down,
YOU ROCK,
I am your greatest fan, and will be until my body breaks down,
into the ground,
And i will start a website devoted to you,
cos you ROCK,
and Final Fantasy Rocks,
And i will start a religion that worships you,
Like Nickatology,
And we can get Tom cruise to be in it,
Cos you Rock!
So Much!
I’m not being sarcastic Nick, i really mean it,
i think i am in love with you,
But really nick,
Do you think Karate is cool,
And if so, do u like Chuck Norris?
Betcha u do,
And thats what makes you cool….
January 13th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
so, i dont know how much my opinion counts or anything…. but as a girl and a gamer, i would like to make the following points:
first, my opinion as a girl- nick. your karate skills and your pretentiousness will not get you a girlfriend. well, at least not anybody remotely attractive. an unfortunate looking but loveable fangirl, maybe? let me see if i can explain this better. you know how napolean dynamite was funny? its because he didnt know how pathetic he was. you should maybe review that film with a mirror handy.
as a gamer- i suck at playing the real guitar. my hands are too small. i have tiny freakin’ hands. i like guitar hero because its fun and relaxing. it gives me a chance to rock out every once in a while. i get to play some bad ass tunes and do some fun fingering and all that. so fuck off. its fucking entertaining. for that matter, i also like ddr. its good excercise that doesnt feel like work.
chillax, kids.
January 12th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
I got Guitar Hero III as a Christmas Gift. It’s a neat little game. It even got me interested in learning the actual instrument. I stole a friend’s guitar and I played it ’til my fingers bled, like in that song. He was pissed.
January 11th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
GODDAMMIT!!!
I had been saving up insults for weeks too! Delicious barbs like the ones in my past 3 posts don’t just happen by accident!
Just like the time i was in the war as a trench runner and i tried to stop an ill advised assault i was too late.
Oh shit, that was Mel Gibson
January 11th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
@Rory ,LOL. Love your website by the way.
January 11th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Everyone wins.
January 11th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
I’m sorry to tell you this then DaleRKD. You’ve arrived late. As I was made the subject of an entire Friday Nooner, I feel no need to post any longer on this site. I will only post on the Friday Nooner comment board through Monday, but no matter how the conversations go or end, I will no longer post comments on Cracked.com.
January 11th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Yes thats right, i have decided to actually join Cracked as a member. Why you ask? Well thats easy to answer random voice in my head. It is because i have decided to make Nick my full time nemesis. Now dont get me wrong, i DO have a life. I have sex and everything. With GIRLS even. And i do not make a habit of joining boards just to insult people as i find it pathetic, which does indeed make me a hypocrite. But Nick irks me so. He causes such violent responses in me that i felt i had to join and make his (already terrible) life even worse by responding to every post with disdain.
“BUT DALE!!” The readers cry, “YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY DEFEAT HIM! FOR HE HAS MARTIAL ARTS SKILLS THE LIKES OF WHICH HAVE NEVER PREVIOUSLY BEEN SEEN!”
Never fear naive readers, for I have a secret. I trained for years with none other than the masters Chun-Li and Michael Flatley! Which means i could kick him precisely 38.61 times before he raised a hand in anger against me.
Beware Nick! The end is nigh!
January 11th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Rick Astley was born in England?
Well thank you for that insightful tid-bit on the origins of fleeting 80’s pop stars.
That doesn’t help me at all!
If there is something further to add to the knowledge of Rick Astley’s birthplace that would explain what a rick roll is, i would like to hear it. But not from you Rick. Never from you. Would anyone who DOESN’T make me want to administer a swift elbow to their jugular like to explain this to me?
Also, why should i know what one is? Just because i was born in the same place as Rick doesn’t mean i automatically know everything about him. Hey Rick, you were born in America! That means you must know everything about everyone there! How about you get me Jason Lee’s phone number? I want to congratulate him for all his fine body of work, then stuff live chipmunks up his arse for doing that film and ruining everything.
January 11th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
You should know what a rick roll is! Rick Astley was born in England. VH1 pop-up video rules.
January 11th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Firstly, I do not know what “rick rolling” is, being new to this internet jobby.
Secondly, Nick, why on Earth have you just spent all of that time counteracting everybody’s previous points when you should quite clearly have been spending that time learning to be better on guitar? Because, ya know, thats all you should ever do with your time.
Don’t be an idiot man. Noone can spend 100% of their time doing only one thing. Everyone needs time off to unwind. Learning guitar is fucking hard work! I can play (a little) and know how difficult it is. I couldn’t spend more than a few hours a day learning new things. Guitar hero is just a fun release, you don’t need to be Steve Vai to enjoy playing music. Stop taking everything so seriously.
Thirdly, i disagree with everyones previous points, mostly on principle.
I actually played guitar hero 3 for 36 straight hours. I took no breaks whatosever. When i needed to urinate, there was the highly absorbent carpet on which i stood. When i needed to eat, there was the handy, crusty leftovers left beneath my fingernails from the fried chicken on the previous night. After i had finished this herculean feat i entered a heightened state of awareness. I found i could play any song on guitar that i could think of with no effort. Tunes sprang from my fingers like babies from an old whores vagina. I even managed to play some Dave Matthews songs despite the handicap of having vomit spew forth from my lips at 5 second intervals. So in short, guitar hero is not a waste of time as it allows you to have near superhuman REAL LIFE guitar powers if you would just put a little bit of effort in you lazy cum dump!
Lastly, i made up that bit about Dave Matthews. I’m from England and as such have never even heard any of his songs. I only said i didn’t like him because i’ve read endless comments about what a terrible person he is and i thought i’d jump on the bandwagon because acceptance is, and always has been, my one life goal.
January 11th, 2008 at 11:58 am
You should have expected it. See, I knew that you would figure that I wouldn’t because someone mentioned it before so you would feel safe clicking on the link. So, I pulled the double reverse and posted it anyway. You should have expected that I expected that you would expect that I would post a rick roll. Then, you wouldn’t have gotten rick roll’d with the special VH1 pop-up video version of the song.
January 11th, 2008 at 11:42 am
You still got Rick Roll’d.
January 11th, 2008 at 11:38 am
That’s pretty amazing how you thought to Rickroll us with your video after somebody specifically said, “If only when Nick posted his “guitar” vidoes, he’d have rickroll’d us. That would have been the pinnacle of awesomes.”
January 11th, 2008 at 11:35 am
First, thank nchammer326 for the compliment. It’s nice to know that people can still enjoy (at little bit) the music I play to spite the fact that I could probably qualify to carry the torch for the asshole olympics from the way I sound in my rants.
You’re all making odd comparisons. No, you shouldn’t stop watching cooking shows because that will give you the knowledge to do that skill better when you’re actually cooking and in turn that makes it that much more enjoyable. Play stuff like Mario because you can’t go around stomping on turtles without getting PETA up your ass. Shooting guns on a video game is about 50 billion times different than actually joining the military and heading out to Iraq. Most people would rather not risk death just to shoot a gun at someone. You can go play paintball or lazer tag instead. Playing solitaire or freecell on the computer is actually an enhancement because it’s faster than if you tried to do the same thing with real cards, you also can’t cheat so you’ll get better at the game, and if you don’t have friends handy you can connect to the internet to play Hearts or the other multiplayer card games against other real people.
Guitar hero offers nothing. It’s not remotely like playing a real guitar which is why Thurston Moore couldn’t even play his own song on it. So, I think you logic is flawed when you said, “is therefore more of an accomplishment than playing guitar in a big time rock band.” Even a 9-year-old can 5 star the hardest song on GHIII ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUzNcheoY6U ), but I can’t really remember any rock bands which ever had a 9-year-old lead guitarist.
It teaches you nothing about music, music theory, or even comes remotely close to playing like the real thing. There’s 6 strings on a normal guitar and they give you 1 button to act like you’re hitting them all. WTF? I know it’s supposed to be the strumming of a pick, but even then you don’t always hit all 6-strings. You can hit any number of strings. It also doesn’t simulate muted strings or mimic loudness with how hard you pluck the string. Same thing with the rock band drums. There’s like 4 drums and a bass pedal. Where’s the cymbals, blocks, and the damn cow bell? And, where’s the second bass drum pedal? You can’t play “One” (or most of the songs from the “…and Justice for All” album) without double bass. Take a look at even the worst band’s drum set up and you’ll probably have twice the things to hit than the Rock Band drums (though I give them a little credit because you still learn a little stick control from Rock Band.) But, these also don’t mimic hit sensativity. Hit it as hard as you want and you still get the perfect sound.
Mario and Call of Duty and games like that are things you can’t do in real life at least without severe consequences without much more severe consequences. Anyone can go pick up a real guitar and start learning. Most video games don’t offer anything, except a simulated experience of something you couldn’t normally do. Guitar Hero, and I understand I’m in the minority, is at it’s base a downgrade to something that is fairly common place in human life (i.e. playing an instrument).
I was just gonna let it go because I know my stance against Guitar Hero is enough to get people twisting in their seat enough that they practically need a colonoscopy to get thier panties of of thier ass, but I felt like showing off my new video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3_n0B1EaOY
Yes. This new rant is entirely to promote a new video I put on YouTube, as was my entire first rant was to get people to go watch the first 3 videos on my page.
January 11th, 2008 at 11:09 am
Hey -
I know this has been said so many times before, but Nick, you’re a little special aren’t you? Nobody has ever once equated Guitar Hero with learning to play actual guitar, although there is a game in the works right now that will do just that. Unless you’re slash, guitar is a HOBBY, just like gaming is a HOBBY, some people might say instead of sitting on your ass playing guitar you should be out jogging or helping disadvantaged children or something. It’s all about what you choose to do with your time, your choice is not more or less valid than anyone else’s. Way to make all us other guitar lovers look like assholes because we hate fun.
Love
warns
January 11th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Is there any reason why 1/2 our readers are bloody Englishmen?
Happy to have you, but i always thought things like our blog were the reason Britain rightfully hated us.
January 11th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Everyone knows that samurai swords were the primary cause of criminality in the UK. That, and Guitar Hero III.
January 11th, 2008 at 9:07 am
As a limey, I’d just like to point out, whatever the origins, you guys have taken religous crackpottery to the extreme.
Scientology and Creationist Theory in schools anyone?
Never played guitar hero, but I do still play a lot of Playstation one and two, in addition to playing guitar and bass.
But I agree with Nick. I’m off to buy a Samurai sword and carry out Tenchu - style executions for real. Oh hang on, we’ve banned Samurai swords in the UK……
January 11th, 2008 at 3:55 am
And how fucking dare anyone out there make fun of Nick after all he’s been through. He bloodied his fingers learning guitar. He’s been to a karate school. All you people care about is flame wars and getting comments off of him. HE’S A HUMAN. What you don’t realize is that Nick is making you all these comments and all you do is write a bunch of crap about him. LEAVE HIM ALONE!!
But seriously, you can’t blame Nick for his messed up Puritan ethics that things that enjoyment is the work of the devil and if you’re not learning a skill you’re wasting your time. I think we put the blame back where it really belongs: The limeys for shipping us their religious wack-pops.
January 11th, 2008 at 3:20 am
Guitar Hero III is one of the best games I have ever played. It features great songs and it can be very challenging. I play guitar and in some of the higher difficulties it could be pretty hard. But I have to say challenge really makes fun:
dealstudio.com/searchdeals.php?deal_id=76171&ru=279
January 11th, 2008 at 3:13 am
Nick, relax. do you yell at call of duty 4 players if they dont know the details about firearms or have never shot a gun in real life? Guitar Hero dosnt advertize itself as a guitar simulator, its a video game.
January 11th, 2008 at 2:58 am
They should make a game where you jerk-off. You have to get the right rhythm down to make your character climax. That would be another game I would rather do in real life. Seriously? Guitar Hero and Rock Band? Fuck you. I would much rather masturbate into one of my socks than to learn how to play a fake guitar. Soon everybody is going to be 350 pounds and supporting a virtual family while juggling two awesome virtual jobs; one managing a restaurant and the other substitute teaching. The game will be called “Family Hero III” and be available exclusively on the Bill Gates system. Again, fuck you. Start a dance dance revolution in real life or maybe take all those dozens of wasted hours playing Guitar Hero and learn how to actually play a real guitar. Honestly, those kids (sadly some adults) that play Guitar Hero for hours on end could actually rip like Steve Vai if they took real goddamn life that serious. Finally, fuck you.
January 11th, 2008 at 1:16 am
Is spelling things correctly a virtrue?
January 11th, 2008 at 1:02 am
This is the best thread I’ve seen on cracked.
Hey Nick, should I be spending more time getting better at spreading out cards on my dining room table to play solitare rather than playing freecell on my computer? They’re both hobbies, but does one have more virtrue than the other?
January 10th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
If only when Nick posted his “guitar” vidoes, he’d have rickroll’d us. That would have been the pinnacle of awesomes.
January 10th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
glendoor42- my apologies. I said that because your post had nothing to do with the topic at hand (guitar hero) and, looking back, I may have been a bit hasty to criticize you. My bad.
ass_master3000- I can’t really laugh at you, I played the viola, (I was 8, and rock music was a foreign concept to me. Then I stopped practicing and forgot how to read music, so I quit) at least on a piano you could play Billy Joel, Elton John, Coldplay, etc.
Alot of musicians (guitarists included) like to play GH; Slash, Tom Morello, and MCR, among others.
January 10th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Well since you put it that way, probably a lot more than I ever did playing D&D.
January 10th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
I pretty much stopped playing my instrument (piano - yeah, go ahead and laugh, chicks still dig it) since guitar hero came out. Sad? Maybe, but fucked if I care. Besides, I have yet to meet a girl who doesn’t enjoy playing that game. I wonder how many nerds have gotten lucky cuz they are good at guitar hero…
January 10th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
Quote by Nick:
“It’s also a lot cheaper too. Adding it all up, I’ve paid only about what it costs for Guitar Hero I, II, and III + a the playskool guitar. You also had to pay $600 for the system in addition to that. ”
I added up the costs, and the MOST it would cost, nowadays anyway, to get the games would be about $700 dollars (the least being around $300). And, for a decent, electric guitar with an Amp would be around $300 dollars.
Okay, yeah, it may be cheaper to get a real guitar, if you consider the more expensive of the two guitar hero prices I gave. And in all the guitar heroes, you get a total of 182 songs, but with a real guitar, that’s unlimited! That does sound like a good deal. But, hm… well, playing all 182 songs, at maybe 4 minutes a song, would take 12 hours. Dang, that’s kind of a lot of time, isn’t it? But… well, learning 182 songs would take a while to learn on a real guitar. Well what do you need to know to learn 182 songs? Well, you’d have to learn all the various basics of a guitar, how to play everything correctly enough, a little music theory, etc. And, of course, any non-basic techniques you’d need to know for the songs themselves. How long would that take? Months? Years?
Maybe, Nick, just maybe, people would rather waste 12 hours playing fake songs, instead of spending years to do your equivalent. Sure, learning real guitar is oodles more fun, and it gives you an amazing skill, but sometimes, people just aren’t up to the task.
It. Is. A. Game. It is not meant to “take place,” so to speak, of playing guitar. It is a comparatively childish, yet fun, simulation, meant for quick enjoyment. Don’t be so threatened by people enjoying it.
But, maybe you have a point. I’m gonna go throw away Call of Duty, Rock Band, and Mario Galaxy, and join the army, master 3 different instruments, become an amazing singer who can sing any voice, and then be an astronaut.
I’ll be sure to post a video of me rocking out in space while shooting someone. It may take a few decades though, so be a little patient.
January 10th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Thurston Moore tried to play his song Kool Thing on guitar hero and HE COULDN’T! So playing guitar hero is therefore more of an accomplishment than playing guitar in a big time rock band.
January 10th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
@nchammer326 Excuse me? Are you telling me that I can’t post comments on a public web
site in the comments section on a humor blog? I will post anywhere I please, about whatever I please and whenever I please. Like it or not, there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.
January 10th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
If Nick drives a car fueled with biodiesel, spends the winter skiing in Vermont and dropped 400 bucks taking his vegan girlfriend to see the Arcade Fire, we may have to prepare for the unthinkable. A perfect storm of douche-baggery, gentlemen. An event that could tear a hole in the very fabric of space and time. The weight of his ego creating a black hole of incredible density and power. God help us all.
January 10th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
glendoor42/glendoor42 should be red, you have no business here. Leave now.
Nick- I too, play both guitar hero and an actual guitar, and both have their benefits. On a real guitar I can play an unlimited number of songs (limited only buy my skill) and make my own songs whenever I want. In GH, I can play songs that are normally difficult/impossible for me to play on a real guitar (Through The Fire And The Flames”, guitar solo in “One”, etc).
Also, saw your vids. Not bad.
January 10th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
@glendoor42 should be red, You forgot to add that I’m fucking proud of it too!
Actually my politics are very far from red. With the exception of capital punishment, gun control and a strong national defence I am about as blue as you can get.
So “YA’LL” shove that up your ass and light it on fire.
January 10th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
ah, I love the smell of a flame war in the morning (almost)
January 10th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Hey Nick, do I negate being “twice as stupid” because I make my living touring the world repairing guitars? In my spare time I occasionally play games of Guitar Hero. You’re making it out like I’ve spent all this precious time I could have been shredding, playing a video game instead.
It’s recreation dude. There are plenty of other things I don’t do when I’m not a) playing guitar b) fixing guitars c) playing a fake guitar on a video game. I also like to cook. I guess using your logic I shouldn’t watch cooking shows either. It would be “twice as stupid”, when I could just be cooking more to be even better at cooking.
You logic is flawed, my friend. Now get back to adding to your pile of posts on Cracked blogs (over 150 and going at this point), and don’t let me burn you a THIRD time.
January 10th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
hi my name is glendoor42. i’m like red yall.
January 10th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Nick-
It’s not a flame war if it’s just everybody making fun on you.
Loser.
January 10th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
The only advantages I can see to learning how to play real guitar(even badly) as opposed to guitar heroes is that I guarantee you that being able to play a real guitar will get you laid more than playing air guitar that requires a three hundred dollar gaming system to play.
January 10th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
You can stand the guitar up in the middle of the room, get a buch of dudes to come at you, and then throw them with such presion that they strum a guitar string while flying past it. If you do a reletivly slow paced song like Smoke on the Water you can get a few moves in before you throw them.
January 10th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
No, Nick, you have to wail on the guitar and whale on your foes at the same time or no deal.
January 10th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
FYI you’re a dick
January 10th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
The funny thing Diaz, is I didn’t post anything other than my opinion of the game. If you disagree than ignore me. I said as much in the first couple sentances; however, if you want to play the fake one then fine. I just think you’re twice as stupid because you already know how to play the real one and could be getting better at that one.
Okay, Ian. Here’s my plan. I’m gonna start a new martial arts league. It’ll be like that wierd chess-boxing stuff ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_boxing ), but between the martial arts rounds you have to play music.
January 10th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Well thanks a lot, Diaz. War was just getting started. Get outta here, you and your precise perception of entertainment. Leave us common people to continue warring.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
End of FLAME WAR. Diaz wins.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Nick, if you produced a video of yourself playing awesome guitar solos while winning a bloody martial arts battle, I would buy a ticket to that shit in a second.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
It’s something called entertainment. Get into it. Not everything in life has to be a challenge. Should I ditch playing NHL 2007 and take up actual hockey? Should I become a plumber and battle turtles with wings and destroy bricks with my fist and save a princess (apparently while on acid)? It’s a video GAME. Most people are well aware that they aren’t going to gain real life skills from playing Guitar Hero.
FYI, I play both ACTUAL guitars and Guitar Hero guitars. I found both to be equally entertaining and satisfying.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Just FYI, Nick, FLAME WAR ON!!!!!!!!!!!
January 10th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
FLAME WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 10th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Just FYI, RW, I’ve never actually played FF X (suteki de na) or Chrono Cross (dimension breech). The sheet music is just free online and is easy to learn to play for beginner/intermediate level players.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
also, “FLAME WAR!!!!”
January 10th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
where are the videos of dude doing real martial arts (from video games)?
January 10th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
You should’nt have wasted your time, Nick, as everybody knows those guitar games are for kids who long the rockstar dream but unfortunately have the guitar skills of a primate; the game is the equivalent of saying to a crippled kid he’ll someday walk. Also, where do I sign up for the woodstock camp?
January 10th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
And, it’s still a great big laugh to me how easy it is to start a flame war on this site.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
1. Guy complains that people who play Guitar Hero should learn how to play a real instrument instead of playing video games.
2. Guy posts link to YouTube videos of himself playing real songs on his real guitar.
3. All the songs are from video games.
There’s a joke in there somewhere but I’m not sure what it is yet.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
I was going to suggest that our buddy Nick challenge the “Martial arts is really hard and takes a lot of practice and I should know because I’m awesome” Guy to a battle of whiny comment-bragging, but it turns out they’re the same person.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
what a doooooooosh.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
This is my “Why I think guitar hero sucks rant” just to piss off the fan-boys of the game, give my YouTube page a shameless plug, and inflate my own ego because I can. If you don’t care, then don’t read and don’t complain because I’m warning you ahead of time.
//start rant
I think guitar hero is only a hit because people are lazy. It’s fun right off because it requires no practice to be good at the easy and medium level. The song still sounds exactly the same as if you were an expert. But, the hard and expert level actually require practice to get good at and pass. If I’m going to practice, I’m gonna do it on the real thing so I feel like I’m accomplishing something.
Real guitar requires hours of practice to get to even an intermediate level and you have to deal with sore, numb, and possibly bloody fingers, but you get something out of it…. learning to play a real instrument and actually learning music and music theory: like notes, how to read music, notes, chords, time signitures, keys, flats and sharps, picking, finger picking, tuning, tempo, and actually learning about WTF you’re simulating playing. Do half of you Guitar Hero players even know what a fret is?
It’s also a lot cheaper too. Adding it all up, I’ve paid only about what it costs for Guitar Hero I, II, and III + a the playskool guitar. You also had to pay $600 for the system in addition to that. (And, honestly, other than guitar hero, wtf is the point of a 360?)
I suggest you pawn off your guitar hero stuff to a GameStop or something, and go purchase a real guitar. I’ll even recommend a learner’s guide so you can teach yourself. Pick up the one’s from a guy named Mel Bay. They’re only about $6 each and teach 4 levels from basic to advanced.
I’m self-taught and you can check out a few videos I posted here: http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=Kemanorel10
I’m by no means a great player and I’m not trying to say I am, but even if you can 5 star every song on every guitar hero game, you still suck and can’t play a real instrument.
//end rant
Let the flames begin.
P.S. I normally hate TV, but I’d tune in to watch Hippies fighting eachother over a bong hit.
January 10th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
They already have a place like that. It’s called Vermont.