Editor's note, Jan 2014: Several hundred of you who tried to sign up last time ran into an error with the verification email, follow the steps below and it should work now.
This is the easiest money you'll ever make.
That's not a joke or an exaggeration. We will pay you real world money to sit on your ass and type words with your electric word machine. No tricks, no catches, no hoops to jump through, and more importantly, you get paid when your article is finished -- no waiting until it runs on the site. You're all like, "Here's my draft," and we're all like, "Have some money, Tito." You don't even have to be named Tito!
But here's the best thing: You don't have to have even one second's worth of experience in writing. We take absolutely everyone who clicks this link and follows the instructions. The only way it could be easier is if we personally showed up to your house and clicked the button for you. If I had the time, I would absolutely do that, because clicking that button changed my life in major ways.
Siri Stafford/Digital Vision/Getty Images
I have become pure dark energy.
Before I started writing for Cracked back in 2010, I was living in abject poverty, borrowing money to pay my rent and figuring out how to stretch $50 into a week's worth of groceries. Before I even had time to process what was going on, I was writing one or two articles a week and bringing in more money than what my old day job paid. Almost four years later, I am now an editor and columnist for Cracked full time, making more money than I ever have at any job in my life. Wait, it gets better ...
I met my wife through Cracked. 2.3 million people read my proposal to her. I've been interviewed by Forbes. Every week, I talk to actual celebrities who are fans of my work. In a couple of months, I get to have coffee with Patton Oswalt and talk comedy. No bullshit.
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Patton Oswalt has promised to have coffee with every person who clicks the button.
I'm not some networking mastermind crashing parties in Hollywood. I'm just an average dumbass from the Midwest who decided, "Why not just start writing about things I'm interested in? There is literally no downside." What I found out is that even if you don't know the process -- even if you have no idea what you're doing -- you can still do it, because there are people in place to help you every single step of the way. And they're nice about it! When you submit a pitch, a moderator will go in there and say, "OK, here's what you need to do in order to make this a published piece. Do this, and this. I'll be back later to let you know the next step."
Every single pitch gets this treatment. It's so easy, it feels like you're writing with cheat codes. And the best part about writing for us is that you don't have to be a genius with special knowledge on extremely obscure subjects. Some of our articles with the highest traffic have been as simple as photos that we found while bored-clicking Google Image search at 3 a.m. or talking about what it's like to grow up poor. Do you know a lot about video games? There's an article in there. Got a favorite TV show that you're dying to talk about? Do it. We'll pay you.
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They wrote about the 7 bonerest boners to zombie a boner.
The reason there's no catch to this process is because we're the ones in need here. We absolutely need people like you to make this site what it is. Whether you realize it or not, you have interesting information locked inside that wonderful nerd skull of yours, and there are quite literally millions of people who want to hear it. We can make that happen. All you have to do is stop pussyfooting around and click the damn button. I'm anxious to hear your story a couple of years from now when you're writing your own call for writers. That story starts right now. Go.
Note: As mentioned above, some of you who tried to sign up to the Workshop in Nov/Dec 2013 had difficulty getting the verification email from the system, it should be working now and if you don't see the email, check your spam folder. If you're still having problems after that, you can send an email to the support staff.