It's really hard to work in the comedy industry without becoming jaded. Especially on the Net, where it's impossible to travel a 10-minute span without running into some retarded fucking meme being repeated for the thousandth time that week. But even though I hate it, I don't blame people for passing them along because, in general, people don't like to create comedy. They like to repeat it. Nothing wrong with that.
But that's why it breaks my heart when the people who do create good comedy don't really get recognized for it. The following videos are from those people who have basically been ignored by the Internet as a whole. But by God, they deserve so much more.
#9. Jurassic Park Theme
The user who goes by the name "Ploface" just got a new melodica, which is basically a small keyboard that you blow into. Sort of a high-tech harmonica. For the first song, Ploface decided to learn the theme to Jurassic Park. But instead of just playing it into a microphone and being done with it, the melodica player decided to grab a scene from the actual movie, drop out the original soundtrack and replace it with his or her version.
And holy goddamn is it funny. The looks on the actors' faces when that horrible, off-key screeching kicks in is an endless comedy well filled with liquid stupid. It's such a simple, ridiculous idea, but holy shit, I can't stop laughing. You don't realize how much an actor's emotions are enhanced by the music until it's stripped out, leaving them to convey wonder, awe and excitement over the childlike smashing of keys and mistimed honking.
#8. "Here Comes Mr. Meatloaf!"
The video has embedding turned off, so you'll have to click here to see it. But I assure you, it's totally worth it. It's a scene from the 1980s show ALF, but cut up and re-edited in a way that turns the innocent sitcom into a show about brutal alien ass fucking.
But don't think it's just the timing edits that make it funny. They've added in an absolutely perfect music track to the background, which, when combined with occasional bursts of laughter from the audience, makes this one of the darkest, creepiest things I've ever seen. You're not quite sure if he's molesting ALF -- or is ALF submitting to the interspecies advances of an anal sex fanatic? All while an old woman watches in horror through her window?
Wait a minute ... what the fuck is she doing staring into his bathroom window, using binoculars? What kind of perverted fucking neighborhood do they live in? Well, that's kind of what makes the video funny in the first place. Look, I understand that not everyone is going to get this one, and I know that there are going to be plenty of people who get offended over the idea of a grown man ass-fucking a puppet. But come on. It deserves more than the 190,000 views it has as of the publication of this article.
#7. Superheroes Get Loose With It
The costumed people in the video didn't upload this as a purposely made work of comedy. They were performing at a kid's birthday party, and this was a legitimate part of their act. But thankfully, the person who owned the video recognized the absolute ridiculousness of the situation and uploaded it for the world to laugh at. And for that, they deserve some goddamn recognition.
Everything about this video is perfect. The music has so much fucking bass that the video camera can't actually pick up the song. Just BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM in rapid-fire succession. But it does pause periodically, just long enough for the microphone to pick up the song telling them to "Get loose with it!" And then they do.
They get loose with it so goddamn fast, too. Seriously, look how extremely loose they're getting with it. Two at a time, they drop down into that stance and start beating the absolute shit out of their thighs, while the kids nervously smile, as if they're trying to appease a drunken father. And just when you think it was a sort of one-off, cute little joke to get a quick lau- "Get loose with it!" BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM!
Yep, that's them dropping down and doing the booty-pop dance. The one that's normally reserved for strippers. And if you haven't already spotted it, that's also Venom's ass shoved directly into the face of a 7-year-old kid, violently popping his ass up and down in a desperate plea for a dollar to be shoved into his thong.
But my favorite part is a shot that happens so quick, it's actually really easy to miss. As soon as the superheroes are finished dancing, they all sort of just fan out like it didn't just happen. And there is absolute silence on the part of the partygoers. You can feel a sort of "What the fuck was that?" sweep across the picnic area. And then that split second shot of the birthday boy, standing in horror, chewing his fingernails and shooting wild glances, as if to say, "Is it over? Are they going to get loose with it again when I least expect it?"
#6. Bear Dances Exactly as Much as He Wants
Sometimes, the best comedy is the simplest idea. This is a Tibetan bear in a zoo, and as far as I can tell, it's just really well trained. It's realized that when it does that head bobbing thing, it gets attention, so it does it when the group of kids comes around. Either that, or the head bobbing is its final warning that means "I'm about to eat the heads of six children as soon as I solve this glass situation."
Either way, someone discovered that it was bobbing its head to the exact beat of "In Da Club" by 50 Cent, so they dropped out all the sound and inserted that song. That by itself is pretty funny to me, but the best part is the very end when the music cuts off, all the head bobbing stops and the kids just walk away. They did exactly what they came to do, and no more. "We're done here. Thanks, bear."
#5. Party Rock Cantina
I can't morally include that last dub without bringing up this one -- and I'm telling you right now, it's a goddamn tragedy that this only has 17,000 views. If this doesn't have at least a million by next week, I'm setting people on fire.
It's that horrible "Party Rock Anthem" song, started right at the dancing interlude part of the video. Except right as they say the line "Every day, I'm shufflin'," the music that comes in is the cantina song from the original Star Wars. And it fits perfectly. Every beat, every dance step, every kick ... perfect. If you can watch that video and still be in a bad mood, you may be part demon. And if the Internet can make a pre-teen's song about days of the week famous, then there's no fucking reason we can't reward the person who made this.