It's Not Licking a Bottle of Hair GelThe Intent:
This woman demonstrates a firm understanding in the male attraction to visual stimuli. By cramming large items in her mouth she stands a good chance of attracting someone interested in that skill set. She also shows tremendous forethought by dressing up for the occasion. Her sparkling earrings compliment her smoky eye shadow, and the lip gloss shines as if to say, "Hey, right here! You should concentrate here, where I'm stuffing this plastic tube of something!"
Where the Wheels Came Off:
In the same way a slant rhyme can ruin a poem, so too can a bottle of hair gel ruin a sideways pretend blowjob; the ingredients are there, but something feels gravely wrong. How can a woman who shows such focused consideration toward her own appearance not find an object a little more phallic and a little less toxic to fellate? I imagine most viewers are generally worried for her health because any gel in a tube like that has a way of coating the outside of the bottle and it's probably not intended for ingestion.
Furthermore, the atmosphere raises several questions: Why is it shot sideways? Why is the TV on? Is that water running? I'm willing to chalk the sideways angle up to artistic intent but there sound of the distant shower is too unsettling to ignore. Either there's someone else home, which is far from ideal, or that's her shower, in which case I'm a little upset that she's so cavalier about wasting water while she sucks on hair gel for a minute and a half.
It's Not Dry Humping FurnitureThe Intent:
When you've invested hours in any hobby, it's only natural to want to share it at some point, and these 5 hobbyists are proud to present to the world how good they've gotten at fucking stuff. They showcase most of their skills on an ottoman but then move on to the more technical wall boning, door slaying, and mirror tapping. The whole video is presumably an advertisement to any women who might be interested in getting pushed around a room underneath some teenagers in dirty socks.
Where the Wheels Came Off:
This project really falls apart the moment the camera turns on. I have to wonder if any of these kids stopped during the dress rehearsal that almost certainly preceded this and questioned whether the ends would justify the means. Even in the video you can watch the enthusiasm disintegrate; at the half way point they give up on the pretense that there might be a woman there and just start wander-thrusting in and out of frame. In fact, if there is anything in this video working in their favor, it's the sheer commitment to such a colossal mistake even after the moment they know it's a bad idea. I can imagine some girls might find endearing.