"Sir? You've been out for six hours. We thought we lost you."
That being the case, I recently became the proud owner of several cultural treasures only available in the illustrious SkyMall catalogue. Like most of the worldly artifacts I keep displayed in my manse, these new items have limited practical use and frequently break when I touch them. But it is not enough for me to enjoy them alone. A big part of being privileged is giving back to the community, and I have given back hard. I wrote product reviews on the SkyMall website for each of the items I purchased so that future shoppers will know exactly what they are getting. It is my gift, both to SkyMall and to you.
Drink Holders for Paraplegics
Leisure Chair for Giants
Animal Torture Box
Sadly, as of Sunday, October 17th most of these review have been pulled from SkyMall. I'm sorry, my gift to you has been spoiled.