Massively multiplayer online games are human entropy -- huge quantities of wasted energy, but it wouldn't have been used for anything useful anyway. If we programmed cancer into an online game, it would be cured within a week, but humanity would be wiped out by some dickhead creating super-leprosy-AIDS-cancer of the scrotum.
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Let's see you teabag me now, n00b!
7Father Hires Virtual Assassins to Kill Son -- World of Warcraft
One man was sick of watching his son playing World of Warcraft instead of getting a job, so he took action: He paid other people to play the game against him. Mr. Feng hired an elite team of players to repeatedly murder his son back to reality. You might recognize this as the same plan used by the Agents from The Matrix, but with less human compassion. The last person to receive such terribly painful support from his father was Jesus.
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"Move out of heaven," he said. "You're just hanging around up here," he said.
Feng thought that the relentless repetition of pointless death would force his son to stop playing World of Warcraft, proving that Feng really didn't understand what it's like to play World of Warcraft.
Even Orkin staff don't kill pests one at a time, and they're getting paid for it.
You couldn't be more passive-aggressive unless you meditated until the other person transcended existence. Pretending to hire a hit man is bad, but hiring a pretend hit man is even worse: You've spent the money but still have to deal with the asshole. Even worse, you've just taught your unemployed son that playing World of Warcraft can be a career.
6Carpet Bombing a Funeral -- Planetside
In real life, they say you shouldn't speak ill of the dead. In MMOs, they don't care why you're AFK, ur a fag.
"Screw your heart attack, you can still click 'Raise Ally' with your right hand, asshole!"
Longtime Planetside player Raider05 died, probably not of originality, and his guild, HMX-1, decided to hold an in-game funeral in a player-versus-player zone where it's possible to kill each other. What happened next was so predictable, the only explanation is that they were trying to turn funerals into a group sport. They raised an energy shield that would instantly kill any enemy players, but they didn't spot the fatal flaw: It still allowed anyone on their own side to enter. Specifically, to enter with over a dozen heavy bombers and carpet bomb the entire funeral.
The Enclave guild arrived and blew the hell out of their own side for sheer hilarity. This wasn't like the World of Warcraft funeral massacre, where the targets were simply unprepared for fantasy combat. These funeral-goers were standing respectfully in large concentrations while their attackers rained explosive death from the skies. You'd swear that both sides were doing everything they could to create the perfect bombing run. Which was actually the case.
The only people who were even armed to fire back were the snipers present to fire a 21-gun salute, and even in video games, sniper loses against saturation bombing. The Enclave scored over 200 mourner kills in under two minutes. Somewhere in hell, a high score table had a new No. 1. This was a lifetime record, both because it was a ridiculously high score and because they were disbanded and permanently banned from the game shortly after. Although in fairness, they were probably still laughing.