If this is the first time you've seen a "hidden YouTube gems" article, you're in for a treat. With the invaluable help of our mentally unstable forum members, we mine through the turd mountain that is YouTube until we find the gold hidden within. Then we spotlight those underrated nuggets of joy, because not sharing them with the world would be a goddamn travesty.
(Once you run out of free YouTube insanity, why not spend a little to find out why John Quincy Adams believed in mole people? Our De-Textbook has the inside-the-earth scoop.)
If you've never heard of it before, Garry's Mod is a game/mod program on Steam that lets you create and play pretty much whatever you want. Gamers, being what they are, decided to use it almost exclusively to make ridiculous videos. And the world is a better place for it.
The one above is called "Dinner Time," and it is the epitome of stupid. In a good way. At 27 seconds, it's exactly as long as it needs to be, which is rare for any comedy video -- most of them try to stretch a 10-second joke into a five-minute bag of coffin nails. But Dr. Face knew that this needed to be exactly 24 seconds' worth of nonsense punctuated by a three-second closer that borders on surrealism. It's perfect, and I've watched it way more times than a healthy person should ever admit. So I won't put a number on it. It's securely in the double digits, though. For now.
Say what you want about Reddit, but there is no site in the world better at finding totally innocent things like a Christmas ad and turning it into something horrifying and wrong. That page I linked spells it out in no uncertain terms -- "This advert is 1000x better if you imagine they're all looking at your penis" -- but if you honestly watched that TK Maxx ad and didn't come to that conclusion on your own, I don't ever want to know you, because we come from different galaxies. And you know how racist I am against aliens.
And maybe it says something dark and terrible about my sense of humor, but when they get to that baby, I absolutely lose it every time. The way it gazes down in awestruck amazement and then looks back up like it had just seen God himself. You can almost hear him say, "For me? I ... I am not worthy of such a glorious boner." Yes, I know every person in that commercial looks that way, but seeing the baby do it is just so ... dark.
A couple of years ago, a video of a little kid went viral. He was trying to say something about dreams and being able to do anything you set your mind to ... or something ... it's hard to tell what the fuck he's rambling about. It came out as 22 seconds of aimlessly stumbling over words in rapid, machine-gun fashion. No pattern, no rhythm. Just nervously stammering sounds like hitting the jackpot on a nickel slot machine that paid out in first grade spelling homework.
The video I embedded is a "remix" of the original, overdubbed with heavy metal guitar. And it fits fucking perfectly. I couldn't imagine how long it took that person to compose a piece that so seamlessly intertwined the kid's vocal meltdown with crunching death metal riffs while still maintaining a workable beat. But regardless of the amount of work it took, it was worth it. After seeing it, I'm not sure I could imagine a world where this never existed.