The 5 Most Undeservedly Hated Famous People of 2013

#2. Ashton Kutcher

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Ashton Kutcher is an interesting pick. I guess my opinion on the validity of all the hate he gets depends on what it is about him that you hate. Is it Two and a Half Men? If so, I'm with you -- that's a really terrible show. I think holding it against him personally is a little harsh. He doesn't write the show. Still, though, if his current job is your gripe, we are one.

Is it his portrayal of Steve Jobs in that shitburger of a movie? Well, for starters, I didn't see it, so if it really is a Mariah-Carey-in-Glitter type of debacle, I apologize for my ignorance. That said, almost everything I've read in negative reviews about the film is that its main downfall is that it focuses too much on Apple and not enough on the life of Steve Jobs. Again, that's hardly something to take Ashton Kutcher personally to task over.

Open season on that facial hair, though.

He did break up his marriage to Demi Moore by philandering with some floozy he met at a bowling alley, but that was way back in 2011, so hopefully people aren't still up in arms about that shit. Give the guy a break; recovering from a cheating scandal is way harder when you can't just win a championship to atone for your sins like the Tiger Woodses and Kobe Bryants of the world.

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That bow tie would have won us over eventually anyway.

So ... is it that speech he gave at the Teen Choice Awards? Somehow, standing on his soapbox to proclaim that everything he'd achieved in his career happened because of hard work got turned into a political thing, because if there's one thing the general public loves more than being told who Taylor Swift is sleeping with, it's being told what they should be angry about.

If you're mad about that speech, let me ask you a question: Before he said those things, what would have been your answer if someone tasked you with explaining why Ashton Kutcher is so successful? Any chance the word "lucky" might have entered the discussion? I bet it would. Hell, it's probably what I would have said (or would still say now) if you asked me.

Now, imagine you're Ashton Kutcher accepting the equivalent of a lifetime achievement award in front of a bunch of kids. Is it so absurd that he'd maybe veer off into a little rant about how, no matter what the perception may be, he did in fact work hard to achieve the things he's accomplished? Oh, and then the asshole went and threw in something about how the "sexiest" thing in the world is to be smart, thoughtful, and generous.

Man, no wonder everyone hates this guy.

#1. Gwyneth Paltrow

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Gwyneth Paltrow, apparently, is the most hated celebrity of 2013. Once again, this is according to Star magazine, and Star ain't never lied about nothing. This isn't a huge shocker; people have hated Gwyneth Paltrow for a long time now, but the demographic that generates the majority of the anger aimed in her direction is a bit of a surprise. To put it bluntly, it's women. Well, women and Soren Bowie, but mostly women.

I say that's surprising primarily because of why people hate Gwyneth Paltrow. From everything I've been able to gather, aside from occasionally and unfortunately getting a bit too comfortable with the N-word, Gwyneth Paltrow's main crime is that she talks too much. She has a goofy website where she catches hell for recommending items that fall outside the purchasing power of the average American (a $450 leather tank top, for example). The nerve! In this economy, no less!
Reminder: Jay-Z's $850 leather hat still available at Barneys!

Speaking of that stupid hat, is Gwyneth Paltrow really the "racist" Jay-Z connection people should be worried about when the company he's partnered with is sending the cops after anyone who "looks like" they can't afford to shop there?

Also, has there ever been an issue of Maxim that didn't think you should own a piece of $15,000 stereo equipment?

What I'm saying is, celebrities endorsing shit the average person can't afford is not a recent phenomenon. It's just that, for some reason, Jay-Z gets to call it an album while Gwyneth Paltrow gets ostracized. Furthermore, those recommendations she makes come by way of an email newsletter. If you don't want to be sold on the merits of expensive bath towels or whatever the fuck, avoiding it is as simple as not giving Gwyneth Paltrow your email address.

Beyond that, let her recommend whatever the hell she wants. I know, it's terrible that she doesn't look or live like the average woman, but that doesn't mean her right to say the same dumb shit as everyone else, man or woman, should be diminished in the slightest.

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Get it, girl!

Granted, there's also another slightly more legitimate gripe against Gwyneth Paltrow, which is that she's legendarily smug and pretentious. It's a reputation she earned by way of quotes like these:

"I'm probably one of the best ... But it's not that big a deal. It's not like this is the greatest swath or generation of actors that has ever come down the pike."

"Look, even if I don't get [an Oscar] directly, eventually they're just going to have to give me one when I get old. So no matter how you slice it, I'm getting one."

"I do like a bit of Jung, and it was just this kind of numinous thing."

It's easy to see why hearing Gwyneth Paltrow speak inspires rage in the masses when you read those quotes. The only problem is, those quotes didn't inspire rage in anyone, because, no matter how appropriate they look plastered across her face in LOLCats font ...

... those quotes didn't come from Gwyneth Paltrow. They're from one GQ profile of Robert Downey Jr. from back in May 2013 that, as this Vulture article rightly pointed out, is practically the textbook definition of inaccessible or snooty or whatever other adjectives people tend to attach to Gwyneth Paltrow.

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Where's your monocle, Junior?

I think this raises an obvious point. Maybe we don't hate Gwyneth Paltrow too much after all. It could just be that, at any moment now, we're all going to collectively realize we hate Robert Downey Jr. too

Proof that rich white males can escape justice for any crime.

Just joking, he's a dude. As long as he keeps his punches contained to other (straight) dudes and his slurs contained to his own race, we'll let him get away with just about anything.

Adam hosts a podcast called Unpopular Opinion that you should check out right here. You should also be his friend on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr.

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