At the black-tie dinner party of the highest paid professionals in the world, the doctors, the lawyers, the architects and the athletes all earned their seats. They found success after years of training and discipline, even sacrificing love and friendships for the sake of a career. But somehow the actor always ends up at the party too, wearing flip-flops and a knit cap, practicing a British accent while trying to instigate a massage train.
"After that we can all do a mirror exercise!"
Certainly there are actors who are phenomenal at their craft, having managed to marry their training and raw talent into a true art form, but there are thousands more with head-shots stapled to high school theater resumes just hoping that maybe they can trick some powerful fame generator into thinking they are talented. After all, you never hear stories about 40-year-old men and women quitting careers in data analysis to head to L.A. in pursuit of their true passion of neurosurgery. No, it's always a profession with no metric for quality they want, something anyone can luck into.
And it works.
There are plenty of stories of agents plucking people out of obscurity and making them famous, or more specifically, out of restaurants and off jumbotrons. Acting is the one career that can offer riches and renown without any formal training and the following five people are proof. They never intended to be world-famous or wealthy, it just sort of happened and their stories are what keep the greyhound buses to Hollywood full.
Audiences' appreciation for the old guard of action heroes like Jean Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris and Dolph Lundgren shifted from admiration to irony right around the 2000s when snake punching and bear fighting broke everyone's suspension of disbelief. Since then, Hollywood has been desperately trying every conceivable combination of guns, explosions and sex to keep the heart of the action hero beating.
And at the center of it all is Jason Statham. From Crank to Death Race to The Mechanic, Statham is one of the last action heroes who remains staunchly unapologetic for his contributions to absurdity. He refuses to take himself seriously as an actor, possibly because acting is a career he stumbled into in the first place.
Before he became an action hero, Statham was nearly an Olympic hero, assuming divers are recognized as heroes somewhere in the world. He was on Britain's National Diving Squad and ranked 12th in the 1992 World Championships.
There are only two things separating this photo from one of Dr. Manhattan.
But apparently the world of diving doesn't pay that well, so Statham supported himself selling counterfeit jewelry and perfume on the street corners of London. Just to be clear, Statham was funding his dreams of competitive pool jumping by hawking black market perfume out of a suitcase. It is unlikely that any job requirements following that could ever seem ludicrous.
Another goddamn day at the office.
During one of his workouts at a London sports center, he was spotted by a talent agent who hooked him up with a job modeling for French Connection. From there he was introduced to Guy Ritchie who was preparing to make Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and needed an authentic looking, street-hardened con artist. That was all it took. Statham became an instant celebrity, acting in over 30 films and never once being forced to shell out hundreds of dollars for acting movement exercises or emotional workshops.
If you are somehow unfamiliar with Wilford Brimley then take minute right now to close your eyes and picture your grandfather. That image you just conjured, that's actually Wilford Brimley. He has the ability to usurp every memory you have of tough but warm-hearted old men, and Hollywood exploited the hell out of that power. Whether it was through his wholesome movies, his wholesome TV shows or his wholesome commercials for Quaker Oats, he always seemed like the ideal manifestation of the Old West while simultaneously looking like a partial shaved Santa Claus.
"You want diabetes for Christmas? Ha! Good one!"
However, his quintessential cowboy look isn't an accident as much as it is a byproduct of being a legitimate cowboy. Before acting, Brimley was a ranch hand and a blacksmith who would shoe horses on movie sets every now and again. He would also step in as an extra when a film was short on horseback riders. It happened so frequently that he gradually became a go-to guy for extra work on Westerns.
Around the same time, his good friend Robert Duvall started making a name for himself onscreen and encouraged Brimley to try acting too. No known transcripts of their conversations exist but presumably they went something like this:
Robert: Wil, come try this. This thing I'm doing. It's freaking easy.
Robert: Did I tell you I can't have babies?
Wilford: Jesus, Robert. Let it go.
Almost immediately after acquiring his Screen Actors Guild card for all his work as an extra and a stunt rider, Wilford Brimley landed a part in True Grit. From there, he was cast in Lawman, the TV show The Waltons and then every other production that needed a lovable old hardass. It was that easy. Within a couple years, Brimley's entire life changed because he decided it might be kind of fun to ride horses on camera.