The 5 Greatest Moments in Freddy Krueger's Music Video

#2. The Fat Boys Repeatedly Assure Us That the Way to Defeat Freddy Is to Bust a Rhyme

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The phrase "bust a rhyme" is chanted like a magical talisman no less than 12 times throughout the song. The Fat Boys toll off every hour as their night in Freddy's rickety ghost shack goes on, announcing with each early morning chime that Freddy will be on MTV busting a rhythm:

"1 a.m. and Freddy's here
On MTV, gonna bust a rhythm
When you see him coming down, stay away from the dark
Watch out for Freddy, and bust a rhyme
2 a.m. and Freddy's here
On MTV, gonna bust a rhythm
When you see him coming down, stay away from the dark
Watch out for Freddy, and bust a rhyme"

Rhymes are, of course, the spiritual complement to rhythms, so the Fat Boys keep desperately urging us to bust them in order to remain safe from Freddy's evil.

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"Quickly, children! Form a tight circle and recite DMX's 'Party Up' directly into the demon's face!"

However, as we learned in his introductory verse, Freddy is totally aware of the power of the busted rhyme, and he knows that we will try to use it against him:

"Freddy Krueger's the name
You know my game
Elm Street's the place
You got the time
Listen to this
You'll bust a rhyme"

It's as if he has become too powerful for even the dopest and freshest MCs to withstand, but he's still daring us to try to 8 Mile him. It's sort of like in Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, when the kids thought they could out-dream Freddy and give themselves superpowers but he murdered the shit out of them anyway. The Fat Boys are walking into a trap, and they're setting us up for failure along with them.

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Freddy spits hot fire.

Despite all the horizontally striped monkeyshines, the lyrics make it explicitly clear that the Fat Boys are aware of the danger Freddy poses -- they specifically reference Freddy's intention to rape and murder Nancy, the heroine from the first Nightmare on Elm Street film. And they do it while bumbling through the house and clawing frantically at the air like frightened Looney Tunes characters for maximum comedic effect. Given the wealth of knowledge of Freddy's history displayed by the Fat Boys' verses, we are left to wonder why Prince Markie Dee never called the police on his Uncle Frederick, or why in the molten geysershits he'd want to spend the night in that fucking house.

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"Uncle Frederick's house on Elm Street? Man, I have the best repressed memories of that place!"

#1. The Fat Boys Trample a Random Nerd Buying Groceries at 3 a.m. in Their Haste to Escape

PolyGram Records via YouTube

Freddy finally gets the best of our heroes, and the Fat Boys are forced to gather up their obesity and flee after Prince Markie decides he no longer cares about fulfilling his legal obligation to stay the night in Freddy Krueger's ancient stab tomb. They burst through the front door with the combined weight of the engine block of a Plymouth Prowler, and in their haste they wind up trampling the nerdiest nerd ever captured on film. The man looks like Chris Elliott tackled Paul Giamatti into the gene-recombining teleporter from The Fly.

PolyGram Records via YouTube

Why this man was walking by the house in the middle of the night with an armful of corn flakes is never explained, but Buff Love the Human Beatbox manages to overcome his terror long enough to double back and eat a doughnut from the downed man's flattened groceries.

PolyGram Records via YouTube
Get it? Because he's fat.

Truly, this was one pulse-pounding fright night that none of us will soon forget.

Tom owned the Fat Boys' Crushin' on cassette and bought the Nightmare on Elm Street board game from a school-sponsored garage sale, but he never thought to connect the two events until just now. Read his novel Stitches and follow him on Twitter and Tumblr.

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