#2. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? -- Amount Stolen: Ã?ÃÂ£1 million
In 2001, total dipshit Charles Ingram somehow walked away with the most money ever stolen from a game show. It was clear during the first few questions of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire that his mother saw the birth defect warnings on cigarettes and called their bluff. This man was so dumb he had to tattoo an arrow on his dick to remember which direction to pee.
He had a secret plan, though. In a childish scheme that would have gotten a Home Improvement writer fired, Charles read the answers out loud and his wife and another contestant coughed when he got to the correct one. His cheating was spotted before he got a chance to cash the check, and two years later he was convicted of fraud and forced to pay Ã?ÃÂ£25,000 in fines. At the end of it, he'd basically funded a Ã?ÃÂ£38,000 ad campaign to convince the world that retarded people can be assholes too. Plus, in a bizarre victory for the forces of stupid, the investigation into foiling history's most obvious scam cost almost twice as much as the jackpot itself.
#1. The Dating Game - Amount Stolen: One Human Woman
For a country that abolished slavery 146 years ago, America still produces a lot of shows that use actual people as prizes. The Dating Game was one of the first. It pitted three mystery contestants against each other in a battle of boner innuendos for a decent shot at casual sex. In 1978, Rodney Alcala appeared on the show as Bachelor #1 and lied his way to a date with "Sensational" Cheryl Bradshaw. Well, maybe "lied" is too strong a word, but it does seem dishonest to not tell a woman that you're coming from and on your way to a murder.
Cheryl chose Rodney for his bizarrely sexual(?) answers, but when she got close she smelled serial killer all over the guy. She refused to go on the date. She would go unmurdered and two sporty tennis outfits furnished by Darling's Tennis Shoppe of Studio City would go unclaimed. You see, women have a special intuition that warns them when a man is carrying a thermos of breast milk or a wallet made of face. Not that I would know, ladies.
It isn't that crazy that a mass murderer and convicted rapist got past the background checks of the 1978 Dating Game. Back then, the only requirement for getting on the show was to get 45 minutes into an orgy without farting. Plus, when you hear his clever answers you'll realize that this maniac was perfectly disguised as a normal.
Seems pretty not crazy to me. He mentioned the night twice and never even brought up how the harvest moon glistens upon hunted flesh. So far, the guy seems alright.
Given how stupid the question was, that's a pretty clever response. It was probably pre-written, though, because that answer works for everything.
OK, yeah. Holy shit, they should have known that guy was a serial killer.
For more of him on Cracked, see The 6 Craziest Sieges in History and Frosty the Snowman Declares War on the War on Christmas.