I've been playing video games for a long time, because I grew up in the 1980s and '90s with more pets than friends. And one trend in the industry that has come a long way is the box art for video games. It used to be common practice for companies to just decorate their product with whatever picture they figured would sell the most copies, whether or not that picture had anything to do with the actual game. To be fair, I realize the graphical limitations of certain older systems made it necessary for video game publishers to engage in a reasonable amount of creative embellishment when designing their cover art. However, judging by the following examples, many of those publishers just thought we were all fucking stupid.
This looks like a Lichtenstein painting brought to life by the magic tablet from Night at the Museum. That robot has a giant gun and a volleyball bomb, and he appears to be rocketing toward us on the wings of an anus-flaying thunder shit.
The expression on that ghost's face is pretty much how all of us felt after staring at that cover for 20 minutes on the way home from Toys "R" Us only to be rewarded with a detonating Kubrickian hedge maze once we finally plugged the game in. Also, I'm not sure if the pumpkin and the raindrop are enemies, or if they're just kind of lost.
Don't get me wrong -- Bomberman is a fun game, but that doesn't explain why the cover looks like a terrorism postage stamp when the character you control in the actual game looks like this:
15 Mobile Light Force
This is a pictographic definition of the phrase "cable television." I don't know what a Light Force is, but thankfully this one is mobile, because you can't stand in one place for too long with explosions and jet pack robots on the loose. Also, if you look closely at Lucy Liu's black magic flesh copy, you'll notice that she's holding the grip of her futuristic machine gun like the handle of a frying pan, which indicates either the advent of some exciting new assault rifle technology or a startling deficiency in the Mobile Light Force's training program.
For some reason, we're shooting magic bullets at a 30-story paladin with nary a leather-clad former XFL cheerleader in sight. I'm not sure what was going on in the game's cover, but I'm positive that exactly none of it is happening here. This is because Mobile Light Force was originally a Japanese game called Gunbird, starring three plucky anime heroes:
The American version heroically removed any mention of those three, put a bunch of unrelated Charlie's Angels understudies on the cover that never appear in the game at any point, and changed the name from Gunbird to Mobile Light Force, because apparently they juggled a bunch of Scrabble tiles inside a voodoo shaman's bone chalice and that's the nonsense that came spilling out.