Cracked Columnists

The 12 Most Baffling Genres of Stock Photo, Explained

Women just cannot get enough of putting kiwi slices on their eyes ...

- ... because they're at a bad spa but don't know it.

- ... because LSD.

If we don't feed each other, how will I recognize you as a person I know?

- Because you know my name and we talk all the time, friend. Please stop feeding me.

- Because we're married.

- Because we're related, somehow, also please stop feeding me.

- Because a lot of other things.

Feeling sick enough to go to the hospital is just the tops ...

- ... because I'm faking it. Free bed! :)

Families in mostly pastels are thrilled, but not enough to look at each other ...

- ... because they're all blind, so it doesn't matter where they look.

- ... because they make each other wear mostly pastels all the time and no one in the family actually likes wearing pastels, but they just all agreed to it because it seemed like a thing families would do. Now they all hate each other, so not looking at one another makes them smile.

- ... because they are actually a single set of weirdly-aged conjoined siblings, so they just tend to look forward all the time, while wearing mostly pastels.

- ... because there's a camera in front of them, taking a picture of them. The pastels are just a coincidence.

Scientists have trouble thinking of a way to remove hands from faces ...

- ... because thinking is hard.

- ... because their parents had trouble thinking of a way to remove hands from faces, and their parents had trouble thinking of a way to remove hands from faces, and so on and so on until before glue was a thing.

Trust me, these babies are going to be delicious ...

- ... because trust me.

For more from Cody, check out 14 Prequels Even Hollywood Wouldn't Make and 11 Fall TV Show Reviews Based Solely On Promotional Photos.


Find Cody on Tumblr and Twitter and Facebook for stuff. Find him on fake Tumblr and fake Twitter and fake Facebook for other stuff.

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Cody

  • Rss

More by Cody:

See More
To turn on reply notifications, click here

713 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!