The 12 Most Baffling Genres of Stock Photo, Explained

Men in suits are the most excited they've ever been ...

- ... because the big merger went through.

- ... because they're wearing abnormally comfortable suits.

- ... because the big merger fell through.

- ... because they just remembered about jumping and happen to be wearing suits.

I am pouring the fuck out of this milk ...

- ... because I am hovering 10 feet above the glass and can only aim and pour from 10 feet above the glass.

- ... because fuck you that's how I pour my milk.

- ... because I just never learned the correct way to pour milk, I guess ...

- ... because I am Andrew WK.

You just woke up your wife in the kitchen and boy are you gonna get it ...

- ... because your wife bakes while sleeping and also she's terrible.

- ... because no other reason.

This piece of mail is unprecedented and devastating ...

- ... because there's a death in the family.

- ... because there's a death in the future, and it's my death.

- ... because my spouse is leaving me for another piece of mail.

- ... because there's a death in the Wham!ily, which is my Wham! fan club.

- ... because I never get mail and even though I'm enjoying this current mail, its very existence reminds me of how I rarely get mail. Bum-mer.

It is practically too much fun almost biting pizza ...

- ... because I'm teasing someone who can't eat pizza, and teasing is super fun haha fuck that person who can't eat pizza.

- ... because I'm at a birthday party and we're playing Don't Bite The Pizza and I hate that game but I don't want to be rude at the party, so sure, I'll smile and not bite this pizza but ugh this party sucks.

- ... because I know that in less than a second, I will be biting pizza.

Studying on the floor frustrates me to the point of visually expressing my frustration ...

- ... because I quickly realized that I don't have to study on the floor and I hate it when I'm wrong about stuff.

- ... because someone is making me study on the floor.

- ... because I forgot that I have 12 tests tomorrow but none of them are about studying on the floor.

- ... because I just read a scary fact about floors.

7 through 12 below (underneath whatever ad happens to show up below)...

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Cody Johnston

  • Rss

More by Cody Johnston:

See More
To turn on reply notifications, click here


The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!