10Horse Armor (Oblivion)
In 2006, Bethesda Game Studios used their popular open world game The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion to test the waters of DLC, and decided to go about it like they were trying to capture drunk fish with wallets. The first DLC they rolled out invited players to "Protect your horse from danger with this beautiful handcrafted armor." Unfortunately, it turned out that the armor didn't serve much of a function within the game, so they were asking you to spend $2.50 on pretty virtual horse-clothes. While this was an enticing offer to anyone who had accidentally installed Oblivion instead of My Little Pony, none of those people were clever enough to steal their mom's credit card.
Even the horse looks surprised you fell for this.
The Internet exploded with rage, and Bethesda seemed to realize that DLC wasn't actually free money after it was pointed out to them that evern prison showers have seen subtler attempts to screw their users. Later Oblivion DLC included entire extra quests loaded with characters and items for the same price. Players congratulated themselves on the victory, and swore no one would ever be so stupid again.
9Weapon Skins (Gears of War 3)
Many more people were so stupid. Again. Five years after Oblivion's failure, Gears of War 3 launched with more ridiculous frills than a ballerina's wardrobe. Except ballerinas are good at something real and are meant to look like that. Gears of War players were asked to buy dozens of "weapon skins," which would be awesome if the weapon in question was a Terminator, and the wrapping was human flesh in the shape of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Instead, players who purchased the DLC got a paint job for their gun. The complete set is offered at a bargain 3600 points. That's only $45!
Or three-quarters of the cost of the game.
This went beyond being just useless, since you were paying money to paint your weapon a bright color in an environment where anything that isn't "dirt brown" gets seen and shot immediately.
That dead guy on the right? Tiny bit of blue visible.
To confirm that they hated the people who they were scamming, many of the skins are "cute flowers" and "animated rainbows," though makers Epic Games managed to hold themselves back from releasing "our sweaty balls" drawn on the side of the Lancer. We have to assume they got the idea after observing all the homoerotic trash talk on Xbox chat, and deciding to create an ill-advised feature for the many gay men who play their game.